Dad's funeral but they won't stop playing Wood Beez by Scritti Politti

[Huxleys Babkins]

Oh, god, this is a disaster. Wood Beez full fucking blast out the crem PA since we arrived. Spoke to the vicar, not a clue, undertaker, "I thought this is what you wanted?" Get to the office and find that someone's fucked up the order of service. "WOOD BEEZ, FULL VOLUME, START TO FINISH" in black and white. Can we stop it? "No, sir, order of service is set, sir." Fuck. Mum's absolutely distraught. She's on pills already, she doesn't need this Wood Beez madness. Gemma's gone completely mental. "This was supposed to be dad's day, we asked for Nat King Cole. This is your 80s shit, John, why did you have to make today about you?" I keep telling her, I don't know what's happened, I don't even like Scritti Politti but she's too busy telling everyone that I've done this. Auntie Jean shooting me fucking daggers now. Off the fucking inheritance, for fucksake.