Jeremy PHWOARbyn

[Rizla]

Jeremy Corbyn last night sensationally revealed how he likes to have sexual intercourse with his pleasuredroid, GARYBOT2000

The sexsational synthesised stunna was a gift from Sir Clive Sinclair, to commemorate Jez's 2017 landslide election victory.

Sir Clive, 72, marshalled resources from his cancelled 1980's endeavour, PROJECT G.A.R.Y, which aimed to put a sex robot in "every home in Britain". Tefal-headed Boffins worked round the clock to repurpose old ZX81 boards and moving parts from the C5 electric car to fashion an electronic concubine he hoped would satisfy the "peculiar, saturnine sexual peccadilloes" of the randy PM.

"I like getting GARYBOT to bend over so I can see his fud, which sir Clive had fashioned from the ZX81's RAM port", moaned Corbyn yesterday.

[Glebe]

It's not looking good for PHWOARbyn.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Sir Clive, 72, marshalled resources from his cancelled 1980's endeavour, PROJECT G.A.R.Y,

Garysoft®

[dissolute ocelot]

Tom Watson continued to masturbate into the floppy disk drive of an Amstrad CPC664.

[greenman]

Tom Watson continued to masturbate into the floppy disk drive of an Amstrad CPC664.

..and thus Jess Phiilps was birthed.

[canadagoose]

Tom Watson continued to masturbate into the floppy disk drive of an Amstrad CPC664.

Hence his new nickname, "spunky disky".