New idioms

[pancreas]

As mad as a pod of unglued peas.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Have your gape and eat it

[badaids]

As mad as a pod of unglued peas.

Mad as a bottle of crisps.

[the science eel]

he's drinking glue and oil

[Fr.Bigley]

When life gives you AIDS, Blame the hooker.

[Pingers]

When life gives you lemons, squirt them in a Tory's eye

He dunt know 'is chips from 'is chunks

If at first you don't succeed, perhaps your parents should have thought about sending you to Eton?

[Fr.Bigley]

"We've a sayin' in Keighley...When the shits bin shat...."

*punch*

[Pingers]

I dreamed last night that "The train's pulling into Watford" was a euphemism for when you're about to have sex with someone you found attractive an hour or two ago but now the booze/drugs are wearing off. Similar levels of apprehension and 'best foot forward' I guess.

[bgmnts]

He's dumber than a hatful of semen.