Times desperately tries to humanise Johnson

[Fambo Number Mive]

At least I think they are.

Overburdened, underpaid and 'misery on his face': Boris Johnson gets the blues
Weighed down by the pandemic and personal issues, the prime minister is appearing ever more downbeat

Parts of the article have been shared on Twitter.

I'm sure that we will be horrified to hear that the prime minister:

- Has to pay for food (like the rest of us)
- Has to pay tax on where he lives (benefit in kind) like the rest of us, although I suspect it doesn't cost him as much as rent, council tax or mortage payments do others.
- Is earning £200,000 less than he used to (because it's not like he saved up any of that money)
- Is "only" earning £150,000, over £120,000 more than the huge majority of people in the UK.
- He only has one cleaner (one more than most of us)
- No housekeeper (because it's not the Victorian era)

I have no sympathy for Johnson. He wanted to be prime minister all his life but never wanted to do anything while having the job. He'll never want for work again after this, every former prime minister has managed to find directorships or the like. If he is that fed up, he could resign and go back to being a backbench MP (a large salary, although not as large as his current one) and write more columns for the Daily Borisgraph (or try to become editor).

He has done nothing positive in his life. He was an awful Mayor of London, wasted millions of pounds of money on projects that gave bad to pathetic results (the cable car, the New Bus for London etc) and he has been a dreadful minister and Prime Minister (no idea what he is like as an MP). He's determined to get a No Deal Brexit and has given the third worst response to covid in the world (only behind Trump and Bolsanaro). The man is unfit to be in any form of elected office, let along Prime Minister.

And his friends say he's grumpy because he's not earning as much of a six figure salary as he just to, he doesn't get free food and he only has one cleaner? I know wealthy people read The Times but surely most of them would find this laughable as well.

What next, the Times sets up a charity for Johnson? Being prime minister is a hard job, but there are massive rewards and you do get a lot of advisors. It's not as hard as being a nurse where you are directly responsible for someone living or dying yet.

Imagine Johnson working in a busy A&E or teaching in a crowded school of 1400 pupils. He's never struggled a day in his life (unless he did get Covid, but even then he had much better chances of survival than the rest of us). He's like Trump, a very wealthy and powerful man deciding to become the most powerful man in the country and then complaining about it. And yes we all go for jobs and then they don't work out but I think most of us knew being Prime Minister wasn't going to have a housekeeper and a group of cleaners.

Johnson is one of the biggest shits in the United Kingdom, which has a lot of shits. And everyone who has enabled his rise to the top are shits as well. Like Trump, he has no interest in anything apart from helping the establishment and fighting culture wars. Big blond baby whinging he's not got enough money when he is sitting on a massive pile of money.

[bgmnts]

He's also weighed down by the gelatinous contents of his overfed and overbred body.

[Sebastian Cobb]

get the cunt in a guillotine

[paruses]

Having only one cleaner is entirely within his control though unlike all the stuff that's making his job as prime minister an effort and beyond his capabilities.

It's not as if there's a shortage of people he can pay fuck all to hoover up and load his dishwasher, is there?

The disappointment never ends.

[idunnosomename]

get the cunt in a guillotine

saved on account of having no neck :(

[Butchers Blind]

No mention of all the children he has to support.

[idunnosomename]

No mention of all the children he has to support.

There is actually

https://archive.md/GJPgc

I am delighted to read he is thoroughly miserable.

[Shit Good Nose]

About the cleaner and housekeeper thing, to be fair the BoJo Bedsit is a right fucking state:

[bgmnts]

The thought of Boris Johnson having sex makes my insides go cold.

[BlodwynPig]

The thought of Boris Johnson having sex makes my insides go cold.

The same feelings those on the receiving end of his sex have.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I thought the pm lived in number 10, do they always stay in a flat between it and no11?

[Sebastian Cobb]

The same feelings those on the receiving end of his sex have.

I bet his sweat's like pork pie jelly.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Poor Boris has to wipe his own arse after pumping out some disgusting smelly turds, why won't the state hire  a row of bathroom butlers for him? One for drying his willy after wee wees, one for wiping his bum after number twos, and one for handing him his towel so he can dry his hands. 

Whether The Times are trying to distract people from the second wave of coronavirus I don't know. Or maybe they are trying to get "Eat Out To Help Out" Sunak (who was partly responsible for the rise in coronavirus cases) into Number 10 sooner rather than later. I don't think Johnson will go until No Deal Brexit begins.

Imagine walking to the shops in late 2021, facemask and gloves on, ration book in hand, and a newspaper page blows down the street. It's former prime minister Boris Johnson writing on how it's all the EU's fault that we failed to plan for food shortages, and he also blames the coronavirus on the EU and Labour somehow. At the end of the article, as you reach the grocery shop with a long queue outside it, is a reminder that Johnson has a new Daily Telegraph podcast and you can subscribe for 5 shillings.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I wouldn't feel sorry for him if he was forced to do hard labour.

[Shit Good Nose]

Also important to remember he's American, so he shouldn't really be allowed to be PM.

[idunnosomename]

I don't think this is trying humanise him, it's partly showing what a fucking mess he's in

we've had Toby Young attacking him this week, Matthew Parris today. about all he has left on his side is simping cuck Harry Cole

[JamesTC]

Only fair we get a nonagenarian to walk around their garden to raise money for him. Bet he only owns three cars.

[Fambo Number Mive]

I don't think this is trying humanise him, it's partly showing what a fucking mess he's in

we've had Toby Young attacking him this week, Matthew Parris today. about all he has left on his side is simping cuck Harry Cole

I think Matthew Parris has always been critical of Johnson.

I presume the Mail is still on side?

I'd love it if he was Prime Minister for less time than Gordon Brown.

[Johnny Yesno]

I don't think this is trying humanise him, it's partly showing what a fucking mess he's in

Which is preferable to admitting he's got Long 'Vid.

[Astronaut Omens]

I think Matthew Parris has always been critical of Johnson.

I presume the Mail is still on side?

Not really:

[buttgammon]

We've finally found what it took for them to stop supporting him: killing their readers.

[jobotic]

It's not Sunak they're lining up, it's Gove. I only wish they'd done it before the election.

They're all Cummings fronts anyway.

[steveh]

I don't think this is trying humanise him, it's partly showing what a fucking mess he's in

I'd agree. The Times and the Murdochs haven't been exactly his supporters either. He was also sacked by The Times in 1988 for fabricating two stories and then lying about it having only just got the job through family connections, which is the kind of thing you don't do to win favours with Murdoch. Gove is the one they've long had a preference for.

[Fambo Number Mive]

I find the idea of Gove as Prime Minister terrifying. I presume there would still need to be a leadership election?

I think Starmer would find Gove slightly harder to make look silly at PMQs than Johnson, but then PMQs doesn't really matter much to anyone outside the media.

[jobotic]

Gove is terrifying but I think in an election he'd be a liability, which is why I'd rather he'd got the leadership last year than before the next one.

[Cuntbeaks]

I see that this fat fucking disaster still isn't dead.

[Goldentony]

days desperately gone

[Gurke and Hare]

I thought the pm lived in number 10, do they always stay in a flat between it and no11?

There's a flat above number 11 where the Chancellor traditionally lives, but sometimes they swap. Tory Bliars and Gordon Brown swapped, but I seem to remember this being because Bliars had two kids and Brown wasn't married yet, and the number 11 flat is bigger. Which would stand to reason, with Johnson just having decided he gets the bigger flat because he's a cunt. Or perhaps they only swapped after his latest hellspawn was born, and he's a cunt.

[notjosh]

There's a flat above number 11 where the Chancellor traditionally lives, but sometimes they swap. Tory Bliars and Gordon Brown swapped, but I seem to remember this being because Bliars had two kids and Brown wasn't married yet, and the number 11 flat is bigger.

This meant that the Blairs inherited Ken Clarke's digs and, according to Alastair Campbell's diary[nb]had to read a bit for work, I'm not a complete cunt[/nb], had to have the bed destroyed and the room basically fumigated as it absolutely reeked of whisky and fags.

[idunnosomename]

they should just build a big penthouse between downing street and the foreign office.

and fill it with CUM

(in case you dont know what is behind all those press conference camera in front of No 10: https://www.google.com/maps/@51.5038774,-0.1284801,102a,35y,147.84h,45.32t/data=!3m1!1e3 )