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Brannigans Crisps RIP

Started by dr_christian_troy, September 22, 2020, 03:37:59 PM

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The Mollusk

I remember when Monster Munch were actually as big as a monster's hand. Eating just one would give you all the energy you'd need to hit the town and commit four or five sex crimes in a single night. Some people would even wear them like those giant Hulk fist toys you get nowadays and use them as gangland weapons. A well-timed greasy corn-based pickled onion swipe could render a rival gang member badly crumbed and temporarily blinded long enough for you to draw an actual weapon like a knife and kill them. You could get away with freely brandishing one by using the 'Cheestrings Defence' that it's "just food" if you were apprehended by the law. Naturally it wasn't long before you had to have them concealed in a bag like the open alcohol container law and pretty soon after that they were shrunk down to the size most people know today. That's cancel culture for you.

imitationleather



At school we always used to say to this one kid "Yer dad drives you to school in a Transform-A-Snack space buggy" and we didn't stop until one day he came in and shot a load of teachers before turning the gun on himself.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Remember there used to be a Monster Munch shape that was like two prongs on a circle, which I assume were meant to be antennae or something? Lad near me lost an eye when somebody decided to twat him in the face with one.

The Mollusk

Quote from: imitationleather on September 23, 2020, 07:10:27 PM
At school we always used to say to this one kid "Yer dad drives you to school in a Transform-A-Snack space buggy" and we didn't stop until one day he came in and shot a load of teachers before turning the gun on himself.

Surely it would make more sense to mock his dad for being the Transform-A-Snack buggy? Still I guess he proved you wrong that fateful day, since if he really took after his dad as per your derisions then he himself would have been the perfect getaway vehicle.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Fr.Bigley on September 23, 2020, 01:31:11 PM
"We asked 100 people to describe the most Northern sentence ever devised...you said Quintins Crisps factory in Skelmeresdale.....our survey said....*Pingggggg*"

You just won an Austin Montego you cunt.

Not a sentence, is it, cunt?

buzby

Quote from: Cold Meat Platter on September 23, 2020, 06:28:05 PM
Just bought a 6 pack of Brannigan's beef and mustard from a Farmfoods. Ham and pickle also extant. Last hurrah or are KP pulling your plonker?

EDIT: actually it's a five pack, the tight cunts.
What's the BBE date on them?
They have been 5 packs since they were reintroduced about 5 years ago (in plain mylar film bags, instead of  the original paper/mylar laminate bags).

king_tubby

I'm glad they're gone. Loved the beef and mustard flavour but when getting a multipack from the pound shop imagine my fucking horror at less than 25g in a packet.

Useless.

Thursday


king_tubby


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Stop eating ALL THE REMAINING BRANNIGANS

Bazooka

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on September 23, 2020, 09:21:33 PM
Stop eating ALL THE REMAINING BRANNIGANS

Made me laugh, in all seriousness please stop, I'd like to ingest some before I get back to China, where I'm greeted by cucumber Lays.

Cold Meat Platter

Quote from: buzby on September 23, 2020, 08:56:53 PM
What's the BBE date on them?
They have been 5 packs since they were reintroduced about 5 years ago (in plain mylar film bags, instead of  the original paper/mylar laminate bags).

12 12 20

touchingcloth

I shoved a Brannigan's beef & mustard up my bell once. Loved it.

dissolute ocelot

Are Brannigan's crisps connected with all the terrible pubs called Brannigan's? Is the name Brannigan just synonymous with ... something ... sawdust ... drunken Irishpeople ... formica ... ?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: touchingcloth on September 23, 2020, 09:36:47 PM
I shoved a Brannigan's beef & mustard up my bell once. Loved it.

I heard this is a home remedy for dengue fever

dr_christian_troy

I shared the email with an FB group and it's now been reported in The Daily Star and other "papers".

Twitter has escalated quickly, ranging from "THIS IS WORSE THAN TRUMP" (@ing KPSnacks along the way) to "Can we sort out a GoFundMe" to Tom Parker Bowles and an Indie journalist lamenting the situation to one person saying "My father had a heart attack and died when I was misquoted by a newspaper. Shit happens".

touchingcloth

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on September 23, 2020, 10:08:02 PM
I heard this is a home remedy for dengue fever

I got the dengue fever after I shoved a mosquito down my arse. Worth it for the mustard helmet.

buzby

Quote from: Cold Meat Platter on September 23, 2020, 09:34:00 PM
12 12 20
Probably produced in the last coulple of months thenn, as they tend to only have 3 or 4 months on them (they are relatively short-dated as crisps go). I'm going to have a look in my nearest Farmfoods tomorrow (if they haven't all been panic bought by then, like toilet rolls are again).

Quote from: dr_christian_troy on September 23, 2020, 10:20:09 PM
I shared the email with an FB group and it's now been reported in The Daily Star and other "papers".

Twitter has escalated quickly, ranging from "THIS IS WORSE THAN TRUMP" (@ing KPSnacks along the way) to "Can we sort out a GoFundMe" to Tom Parker Bowles and an Indie journalist lamenting the situation to one person saying "My father had a heart attack and died when I was misquoted by a newspaper. Shit happens".
It's a pity most of the people bemoaning their demise weren't actually going out and buying them, or we wouldn't be in this situation.


Shoulders?-Stomach!

As they weren't stocked by the major supermarkets, who have also taken a chunk out of the convenience store sector, I'm not surprised fewer people were buying them, as they were getting buried.

Given the crisps that do well now are generally stronger flavoured and thicker cut/textured, I think it is counter intuitive to apply narrow consumerism thinking as to why sales dipped. At some stage they lost access to huge swathes of the market. They should take a look at their own marketing and sales.

wooders1978

I'm gutted at the thought I'm not going to happen across a packet of their beef and mustard flavour but in reality it was all over when they stopped doing that papery style bag

Jockice

Quote from: imitationleather on September 22, 2020, 07:19:29 PM
When eating them I feel like Jockie after he's had a spud with a pinch of pepper on it.

That good eh? This is a subject I feel very strongly about. Crisps should be available in the following flavours only: Cheese and onion, salt and vinegar, plain, pickled onion, smokey bacon, roast beef and roast chicken. And any additions (mustard etc) should be banned too.

If I ever become Prime Minister this will be my very first law. And anyone who has anything to do with Doritos will face public execution.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Jockice on September 24, 2020, 07:55:16 AM
That good eh? This is a subject I feel very strongly about. Crisps should be available in the following flavours only: Cheese and onion, salt and vinegar, plain, pickled onion, smokey bacon, roast beef and roast chicken. And any additions (mustard etc) should be banned too.

If I ever become Prime Minister this will be my very first law. And anyone who has anything to do with Doritos will face public execution.

You're a lunatic. Roast chicken are one of the worst flavours of all the crisps.

Jockice

Quote from: touchingcloth on September 24, 2020, 08:39:48 AM
You're a lunatic. Roast chicken are one of the worst flavours of all the crisps.

I'm not a fan myself. They'd be my very last resort. However, they are edible. If only just.

shiftwork2

Quote from: Jockice on September 24, 2020, 07:55:16 AM
pickled onion, smokey bacon, roast beef and roast chicken

They're the repeaters.  The public has, in general, rejected the repeaters because the awfulness of day-old burped-out stomach foist is simply too much.

Fr.Bigley

Quote from: touchingcloth on September 23, 2020, 07:50:06 PM
Not a sentence, is it, cunt?

If you put more consonants and vowels both before and after in some form of order then it probably would be. But we all love a bit of pedantry. you 'orrible cunt.

buzby

Quote from: Cold Meat Platter on September 23, 2020, 09:34:00 PM
12 12 20
Nipped out to Farmfoods in my dinner hour and secured what may possibly be my last 4 multipacks. They have the same date code as this, so I'm wondering if Farmfoods were recipients of the last production run.

The Roofdog

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on September 22, 2020, 07:23:13 PM
Seabrooks - they're another one who were amazing a few years ago and then all of sudden every flavour tastes like ready salted ("plain" etc).

All went downhill when they removed the bag viewing window, an intrinsic part of the experience IMO. Also they discontinued Worcester Sauce & Tomato Sauce yet Lamb & Mint is still available, get real.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Absolute cunts for getting rid of Worcester Sauce flavour.

Days are gone here lads, days are gone.

Beagle 2

All they needed was a revamp, they had that apron tache cunt on the front for yonks. Replace him with someone that speaks to the kids like Cardi B or Peter Duncan.


Elderly Sumo Prophecy