Author Topic: David Dickenson Deso.  (Read 2894 times)

Glebe

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David Dickenson Deso.
« on: October 05, 2020, 12:11:42 PM »
David Dickenson describes Ainsley Harriot as "dusky".

David Dickenson loudly disproves of the Irish family that have moved in down the road, as he doesn't like their "ways".

David Dickenson spends a week in Marbella with Peter Ebdon.

David Dickenson sets the DVR for Michael Portillo's Great British Railway Journeys but he records Home and Away by accident. "Buggering bloody thing," he complains to the cat.

Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #1 on: October 05, 2020, 02:16:11 PM »
David Dickinson describes a mediocre pub carvery as a "real bobbydazzler" to a disinterested barman.

batwings

  • Timewaster seeks same. No timewasters please.
Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2020, 02:42:23 PM »
David Dickinson sleepwalks in a circle on his moonlit back lawn, punching at ghosts.

David Dickinson shouts abuse at a nun outside a Post Office while passing in his Range Rover. 'Orange Man Bad!' he cheerfully says to his reflection in the rear view mirror  before driving on, thrilled.

David Dickinson makes a deal with God during a difficult poo.



Glebe

  • Please beware as there is a draclea on the loose.
Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #3 on: October 05, 2020, 02:55:24 PM »
David Dickenson shoves a bag of potatoes under the stairs and thinks about immigrants.

David Dickinson describes a depressing, anodyne restaurant in a bland village as "as close to ye olden days as one could get!"

bgmnts

  • Depressed to the point of poisonous toxicity.
Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #4 on: October 05, 2020, 02:58:09 PM »
David Dickinson cheers on Azerbaijan bombings.

Lordofthefiles

  • A dog with two dicks or a dick with two dogs
Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #5 on: October 05, 2020, 02:58:16 PM »
"DAVID DICK-IN-SON" says The Sun's headline as Operation Yewtree Two swings into action.

Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #6 on: October 05, 2020, 03:37:11 PM »
David Dickinson auditions to be the next Bond.

touchingcloth

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Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #7 on: October 05, 2020, 04:16:32 PM »
This is a bit off topic for HS Art, but I know someone who worked on Bargain Hunt but with Tim Wonnacott rather than Dickenson as host, and apparently on one particularly long shooting day he shouted to the producer and accused them of “working me like a black”.

Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #8 on: October 05, 2020, 04:25:33 PM »
David Dickinson unsuccessfully haggles for an ex-display BILLY bookcase in IKEA Tottenham.

Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #9 on: October 05, 2020, 04:33:12 PM »
A drunken David Dickinson phones Eric Knowles at 3am and growls at him to "grow your nonce 'tache back, you ceramics poof".

touchingcloth

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Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #10 on: October 05, 2020, 04:36:59 PM »
Both having burned through the vast majority of their TV money, Tim Wonnacott suffers a breakdown while attempting to stain Dickenson’s skin with a used teabag in lieu of the now unaffordable fake tan and accuses him of working him like a black.

Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #11 on: October 05, 2020, 04:39:20 PM »
David Dickinson bemoans not winning a BBC Writers Room scheme to discover unheard BAME voices.

touchingcloth

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Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #12 on: October 05, 2020, 05:00:18 PM »
He doesn’t realise it at the time, but David Dickenson has what will be his last wank.

Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #13 on: October 05, 2020, 05:30:48 PM »
David Dickinson attempts to order an 8oz fillet steak at the McDonald's Drive Thru.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #14 on: October 05, 2020, 05:50:42 PM »
Hello David Dickinson here, and when I say Dickinson, I mean Dick In...

... Dog.

touchingcloth

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Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #15 on: October 05, 2020, 06:10:58 PM »
An administrative error leads to David Dickenson being booked for a wealthy child’s 5th birthday party instead of Dick & Dom.

No smiles were seen and no young abuses went un-raped that day.

Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #16 on: October 05, 2020, 09:04:21 PM »
David Dickinson orders some labels off Ebay and starts swapping the price tickets in Aldi for his own homemade forgeries.

Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #17 on: October 05, 2020, 09:05:45 PM »
Having caused a huge fuss at the checkout, the manager apologises and honours the “misprints”, but David Dickinson still tries to haggle another £15 off the bill.

Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #18 on: October 05, 2020, 09:10:04 PM »
David Dickinson assures the arresting officer that he’s heard of neither the eBay seller labelz4u nor the PayPal account bobbydazzler69@gmail.com.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #19 on: October 05, 2020, 09:26:03 PM »
Is David Dickinson the same thing as Ian McShane?

Glebe

  • Please beware as there is a draclea on the loose.
Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #20 on: October 05, 2020, 09:41:14 PM »
David Dickenson criticizes Trump's skin tone, the hypocritical cunt.

famethrowa

  • mere rhetorical frippery
Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #21 on: October 05, 2020, 10:29:27 PM »
David Dickinson attempts a little humour as he hands over £20 for a plastic bag of dubious street contraband. "YOU ARE DEALING WITH DICKINSON" he says with a wry smile. "Fuckin what?" says the tracksuited youth. "Er nothing" comes the reply.

Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #22 on: October 05, 2020, 10:42:13 PM »
David Dickinson argues with some meff on the internet who keeps on purposely misspelling his surname.

Glebe

  • Please beware as there is a draclea on the loose.
Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #23 on: October 05, 2020, 10:43:39 PM »
David Dickinson invents a mascot called Dicky the Duck for his new charity, Kids Who Want to Send 'Em Back Where They Came From.

David Dickinson argues with some meff on the internet who keeps on purposely misspelling his surname.

Er... yes, I purposely misspelled it. Now I will purposely spell it right.

Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #24 on: October 05, 2020, 10:58:57 PM »
Good lad, Gleb.

Glebe

  • Please beware as there is a draclea on the loose.
Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #25 on: October 05, 2020, 11:04:39 PM »
Good lad, Gleb.

Dickinson is still not satisfied. "That blue forum me weird nephew does be on should be shut down!"

Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #26 on: October 05, 2020, 11:27:56 PM »
David Dickinson during a bout of depression and mid-day drinking emerges dazed and confused from the King Henry pub famished and enters a village tea-room looking for 'cheap ass chips'. After an argument with proprietor he gets up from his table and drops his trousers revealing his carrot chroma cock before shouting at patrons "Look at that for a Bobby Dazzler! I'm fucking Lovejoy y'know?! I'm a multi-millionaire, I'll buy this place and install a fucking auction in here, liven all your stiffs up a bit! Where's Tinker??" After being picked up by his embarrassed wife she goes and sulks up a hill.

Glebe

  • Please beware as there is a draclea on the loose.
Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #27 on: October 06, 2020, 12:07:14 AM »
^Heh, The King Henry pub sounds just like his favourite watering hole!

David Dickinson invites a business friend to a local charity 'barn dance'. "I know y'single at the moment Jim, there'll be plenty of tarts there! Country girls around here, they're simple, you'll be fighting them off with a shitty stick after a couple of glasses of Jemima's famous punch!"

Bum Flaps

  • Don't cock it up this time!
Re: David Dickenson Deso.
« Reply #28 on: October 06, 2020, 12:12:40 AM »
Dickinson practices leering over his nose-end-perched glasses in the bathroom mirror of his windswept static caravan.

Glebe

  • Please beware as there is a draclea on the loose.
Re: David Dickinson Deso.
« Reply #29 on: October 06, 2020, 12:27:55 AM »
David Dickinson buys another hunting scene painting to add to the many already adorning the walls of his stately cottage.

David Dickinson thwacks a mouse with a copy of Country Life. "That's got 'im, the little nazi!"

"They never got me on that tax thing, Tom," chuckles David Dickinson over a glass of brandy with a business associate down The Tipsy Titfer.

David Dickinson plays golf with Michael Grade then goes for a Sunday brunch in Staffordshire.

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