Is the PHWOAARR thread we have a bit rum?

[Johnny Yesno]

I think that's sort of what bothers me about Page Three and the like - it's the idea that it's somehow men's right to have this stuff sitting around like it's part of the furniture, in a way that actually seems weirdly unsexy - I mean, do you reckon anyone ever actually dropped their kecks and started bashing one out in that detective's office? "Sorry officer, just got a bit of a stiffy thanks to that calendar you've got there - won't be a moment."

I mean I get it, we all like to look at sexy people, but I just find having it presented in that strangely coy and muted but public context feels really Seventies and cringey and weird. Stuff like that (Page Three, sexy calendars, those peanut holder things) just seems like the worst of both worlds - making people feel uncomfortable without being actually properly sexy - as I said, it's not like you can properly really get into it anyway if you do find it titillating. It feels both oddly prudish and depressingly sexist at the same time.

And it's impossible to voice these criticisms without being labelled as some sort of staunch tutting schoolmarm, even though that's not my point at all. It's not even as if women don't get off on seeing female nudity (as I'm sure the browsing histories of many will testify), but there's something insanely frustrating about the idea this is about you but will never be for you.

I think you're onto something when you talk about female nudity being treated as part of the furniture, particularly workplace furniture. Perhaps that's what I've been missing when it comes to objectification.

I've never really understood what's wrong with appreciating the looks of a person you find beautiful without thinking too much about their character. And I'm happy to hear other people enthusing about the people they lust after. It's the unflinching criticism of people who don't measure up to someone else's ideas of beauty that I find objectionable and indeed objectifying.

I'm possibly more sensitive to it because I know I'll never fit the blonde, white, big-titted standard of beauty that the above examples typically used to espouse, and while I now realise that's absolutely not the only 'type' that guys find attractive, if that's what fucking national newspapers and calendars on walls in public places are telling you when you're growing up, then it's hard not to feel like you'll never be desirable. I really do hope it's a generational thing and younger people than me aren't affected in the same way, and I do think things have changed, but yeah, fuck all that tbh.

See, that's where I'm conflicted. A few more pictures of bald middle-aged men in the PHWOARR thread with some salacious comments underneath would please me no end, if I'm honest, although I'd probably assume it was sarcasm. I'd enjoy it less, I suppose, if people thought my solid, gleaming-bonced beauty implied I was stupid. And if I'm going to be on a wall helping mechanics know what day it is rather than actually being admired, then I'm out.

Just making sure any glamour photographers know the score, like.

[Johnny Yesno]

Despite that 'you look like Pink' was the first thing I ever said to her.

Maybe she thought you said 'You look light pink', which is a weird compliment but I'd be pleased with it if it was said enthusiastically enough.

[Menu]

I suppose the nature of a forum like this means you don't have to look into every topic. If you think a topic is going to upset/annoy/befuddle you, then don't bother with it. I'm sure many of us swerve the Labour Party mega-thread now that it has become so unarguably utopian and welcoming.

[Thursday]

I feel like there's creepy and non-creepy (or maybe just less creepy) ways to objectify someone, but I'm not sure I could give a cast-iron logic and set of rules for it. The Phwoar thread will go back and fourth over whether it crosses this line.

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

It does seem like a weird relic of a bygone time. I don't know if it is something that's putting women off signing up to or sticking g around on this site but if it is then I guess it's for the best that it's tucked away in HS Art as barely anyone goes there anyway (even though they should as it is largely a lot of fun).

Haven't really been on the thread much cause I gone on cab at work mainly and I don't want IT finding out that I'm being paid to look at sexy women and going 'hmm I think she is not gainfully employed enough to wank my big ugly penis off to' with the rest of the masses, even if they do have clothes on largely.

But yeah it's just one of those things that's classed as 'banter'. Banter, as I understand it goes as follows:

Putting a topless picture of a Page 3 girl on the wall at work = good banter

Saying to a male colleague "phwoooar, I'm going to have a big wank over her tonight" = good banter

Saying to a male colleague "phwoooar, I wouldn't putting my big hard dick into her and having a lot of sex with her" = very good banter

Releasing the aforementioned hard dick from your trousers and wanking it in the aforementioned manner in full view of the aforementioned male colleague = bad banter

Ejaculating into the IT man's coffee = excellent banter

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

Edit

[DrGreggles]

Ejaculating into the IT man's coffee = excellent banter

I bloody knew it was you!

[Captain Z]

Gary Phwoar

[Ferris]

Has anyone made this joke yet?

"You can't fight in here, this is the PHWOARR room"

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

PHWOARR huh
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing

[Shit Good Nose]

Has anyone made this joke yet?

"You can't wank in here, this is the PHWOARR room"

[Menu]

Has anyone made this joke yet?

"You can't fight in here, this is the PHWOARR room"

No, I don't think they have. You should try it. Go on!

[Thursday]

You can't wank in here, this is the PHWOARR room

[shiftwork2]

Has anyone made this joke yet?

"You can't fight in here, this is the PHWOARR room"

No they haven't and it is officially quite good.

[Thursday]

You can't wank in here, this is the PHWOARR room

Hope you all like my joke, pretty proud of it.

[Dex Sawash]

Has anyone made this joke yet?

"You can't fight in here, this is the PHWOARR room"

black ship did it ages ago, maybe not the first.
In response to an argument if someone was fit or not, appropriately.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Young, attractive ladies posing in their knick- knacks are never going to go out of style. The last good image thereof I saw on the thread in question was the young blonde lady from " 30 Rock", back to the camera, t- shirt on, black, lacy undies, posing away, not a care in the world. I'm assuming she got paid for that, and will also assume that people who witnessed that image thought " well, that's nice" to themselves. It's not like that Barry Cryer quote about the dead, dissected frog.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Yep. And it's always the same with topics of this nature. People gleefully grabbing the opportunity to say the grossest things under the the banner of "lol how could I possibly mean this tho!?"

Fuck off.

Fuck Off yerself, humourless git.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

For fuck's sake

See reply I done made to yer man before this post.

[Buelligan]

I think, if you've ever walked through or past a pub in the City or maybe a building site (and you're a woman), the predatory stares, shouts, baying, let you know they're not admiring your beauty, they're bullying you, they're taking pleasure in making you feel alone, isolated, threatened, like prey. 

The problem with it is that all of them seem to be doing it or, at least, none of them are showing their disgust, so you get the idea that all men, when they're free to be what they really are, see you, see women, as prey.  They don't respect you, they enjoy intimidating you.  Humiliating you.  Letting you know you're not safe and you have no power. 

If you've ever had that experience, every time you see the facade drop a little, it reminds you of how safe you are and what your position is.  That the person you're sharing a space with may be viewing you like that.  May be like that.  That's why stuff like that calendar makes women like me very uncomfortable, nothing to do with how naughty it is or whether your partner is jealous or any shit like that, it's like someone giving you a masonic handshake, it tells you you're excluded and their agenda could be extremely threatening but whatever it is, they probably view you as a cunt.

I don't care about people having their thread but the OP asked what we think and that's what I think.

[flotemysost]

I've never really understood what's wrong with appreciating the looks of a person you find beautiful without thinking too much about their character. And I'm happy to hear other people enthusing about the people they lust after.

Yeah, that in itself doesn't bother me either and it seems a bit odd to suggest we should only be attracted (on the most shallow, surface level) to people who are deemed 'worthy', whatever that means anyway. I remember thinking the 'Evil PHWOARR' thread on here was pretty funny (the one where people posted pictures of their guilty crushes - Priti Patel, Louise Mensch and Zac Goldsmith all made appearances, I think). And let's face it, I'm not exactly pondering what the performers' favourite novels are when I'm watching porn.

In fact re: porn, I know a lot of pictures of adult performers do get posted on that thread and I think there's occasionally a bit of unintentional snobbery/misogyny around that - I remember seeing that someone had commented (under a photo of a porn actress that someone else had posted) something like, "What a waste, a beautiful girl like that" - and I know it was well-meaning, and I'm also absolutely not denying that a huge amount of exploitation goes on in that industry, but the idea that only skanky hags should be sex workers while others are beautiful and pure enough to be above it, to my mind plays into that whole Madonna-Whore slut-shaming thing.

A few more pictures of bald middle-aged men in the PHWOARR thread with some salacious comments underneath would please me no end, if I'm honest

A (female, twentysomething) friend told me the other day that she finds Alain de Botton quite sexy, if that helps.

[Shit Good Nose]

You can't wank in here, this is the PHWOARR room

Hope you all like my joke, pretty proud of it.

I literally made it two posts above you.

CHECK OUT THIS DUNCE, etc.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I like to think that there are quite a few discerning young ladies out there who find the character of George Costanza from that popular American comedy series from the early 90s " Seinfeld" to be quite sexy.
( while having no time for Jerry himself, with his big trainers and mullet, and what have you)

[flotemysost]

That's why stuff like that calendar makes women like me very uncomfortable, nothing to do with how naughty it is or whether your partner is jealous or any shit like that, it's like someone giving you a masonic handshake, it tells you you're excluded and their agenda could be extremely threatening but whatever it is, they probably view you as a cunt.

Yes, you've put far more succinctly exactly what I was trying to say upthread re: Page Three and the like - it's that sense of being excluded and feeling like you'll never truly know how you're viewed by half the population (although until relatively recently my default was to assume I probably was being viewed with disgust), it's a horrible feeling.

[idunnosomename]

SPORT THE PHWOARRRRRRRRRRRRRR

PHWOARRRRRRRR SUPPORT

THE SPORT IS PHWOAR! TOTAL PHWOAR!
WHERE THE END
IS A CORKER
THE FINAL PULL IS NOT A DRILL
ITS HOW MANY GAMETES I CAN SPIIIIILL

[Ptolemy Ptarmigan]

Was phwoaarr the follow-up to 'Do you know who I fancy?' or was that a different beast?  The earlier thread was a lot more interesting as the choices were less obvious and there were fewer of the pneumatic tarts and smooth-as-an-eel boy band types that appeal to the less sophisticated members of the forum.

I think it was. The OP of the 'Do You Know Who I Fancy' thread started a new thread when the original one got past 100 pages and titled it 'PHWOARRR! Know wor I mean, lads? Lasses? Phwoarrr!'.
When you find out the sex of that person you'll shit pricks.

[Hand Solo]

PHWOAARR, HUH!
WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?
ABSOLUTELY NUFFINK
UH-HUH

[checkoutgirl]

PHWOAARR calling birds
3 french hens
2 turtle doves
Alan Partridge in a pear tree

[Thursday]

I literally made it two posts above you.

CHECK OUT THIS DUNCE, etc.

I.... I know... I was doing *sigh*

[Shit Good Nose]

I.... I know... I was doing *sigh*

Sorry, yes I get it now.  I'm having a VERY frustrating problem with my brand new (work issue) laptop, which has killed off my internet humour detection tool for the evening.