Nuns

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

...As soon as I was in the room she grabbed me by the lapels and started ramming me into the wall. The sort of thing you'd see in pub fights. I think I had several punches and a couple of face slaps too...

Fucking hell! That seems a little... excessive.

(Then again, you did laugh during mass and a sin of that magnitude cannot go unpunished).

[checkoutgirl]

Is it still a popular career choice

Along with christian brother it has to be the most pointless career in the history of mankind. They can't even do mass or confession or the last rites or anything. Just sit in a building with a load of women who aren't allowed to shag or wear nice clothes or anything. Their job is to pray.

My auntie was a nun for decades and then she must have realised what a waste of a life it was and she jacked it in. Then you have the problem of that time you wasted being a nun but at least she saw sense eventually. Imagine dying a nun who is a virgin who never had a proper job. That will be almost unheard of in a few years. The christian brothers  have  all but died out in Ireland as far as I know. Even priests are on the endangered list. People seem to be  realising that religion is a load of old dirty underpants, even in staunchly catholic countries. When the money goes up the religion goes down.

[imitationleather]

These stories of nuns being violent makes me think they might have extremely unhappy and unfulfilled lives. Who'd have thought it?

[checkoutgirl]

She had beating 12-year-olds up down to perfection.

In the eighties being clattered by nuns or secular teachers was still fairly common in primary school in my experience. I even got a whack here and there from the odd teacher in the nineties in secondary school. That shit is probably extremely rare now.

My primary school had a boys side and a girls side. The boys side had secular teachers and the girls were taught by nuns for reasons I never looked into. The boys side had a handful of teachers who were quick to lift you up by the ears or fling chalk at you and equally there were a few sadistic nuns who seemed to relish bashing the girls on the knuckles with a ruler and stuff like that.

The christian brothers in Ireland in the fifties and sixties was another level entirely. The beatings these lads used to give out were legendary and I can only imagine the christian brothers profession used to attract violent types who just wanted an excuse to commit routine violence on helpless kids. The same way the police force in America seems to attract gun toting cowboy style killers who want a legal way to murder people.

[dissolute ocelot]

Along with christian brother it has to be the most pointless career in the history of mankind. They can't even do mass or confession or the last rites or anything. Just sit in a building with a load of women who aren't allowed to shag or wear nice clothes or anything. Their job is to pray.

They do a lot of good work for charity. Hilaire "Jim Who ran away from his Nurse, and was eaten by a Lion" Belloc's mum was a radical Victorian feminist who was so impressed by nuns' superior kickassery that she converted to Catholicism and moved to France. But sadly not impressed enough to become a nun herself, instead she had her son who was a racist Nazi Islamophobe. On the other hand, her daughter wrote a novel about Jack The Ripper that was filmed by Hitchcock. Anyway, another link between nuns and cautionary tales.

[steve98]

'Ow many Nuns could a nunchucka chuck if a nunchucka could chuck Nuns, chuck?

[Sebastian Cobb]

It's like, how much more black could this be? And the answer is nun. Nun more black

This going to sound odd but I don't think I've ever seen a black nun in photos. You must get them given all the missionaries that go over to Africa, and you see black priests and pastors. Weird.

Apart from Whoopi Goldberg in Sister Act, I suppose.

[Blue Jam]

REVERSE! REVERSE!

[Blue Jam]

I used to see nuns quite often in Embra because I used to pass a a nunnery when walking to work. The nunnery is right nextdoor to the sexual health clinic. Bad planning there.

[Pink Gregory]

I saw some hasidic jews at London zoo once.  They were having a great time.

[Pink Gregory]

I used to see nuns quite often in Embra because I used to pass a a nunnery when walking to work. The nunnery is right nextdoor to the sexual health clinic. Bad planning there.

There's a sexual health clinic in Bristol on Marybush Lane.  Love it mate.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

Actually there's a Carmelite monastery about ten minutes' walk from my house and I sometimes see the odd nun hanging around outside, no doubt looking for children to punch and kick.

Anyway the reviews for the monastery (no, me neither) are very much at odds with the opinions expressed on here -

Mary Pearson: "Great good exnlt brilliant"
Robert Flavell: "so friendly"
Angela Blake: " The nuns are very pleasant and caring"

Mind you, these nuns wear grey outfits so might be from a less militaristic faction of the Catholic Church.

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

I saw some hasidic jews at London zoo once.  They were having a great time.

Controversial exhibit these days.

[Ray Travez]

The christian brothers in Ireland in the fifties and sixties was another level entirely. The beatings these lads used to give out were legendary and I can only imagine the christian brothers profession used to attract violent types who just wanted an excuse to commit routine violence on helpless kids.

I had a flatmate who had been schooled by the Christian Brothers in the 1950's in County Tipp, they sounded absolutely fucking psychotic. There were a few Irish Catholics I knew who were in therapy- what's the phrase- "there are no ex-Catholics, only recovering Catholics." All of them had this imprinted fear of the nuns or the brothers, or both. I'm not anti-religion per se, but religion and violence seems to be a rather nasty mix, through the ages.

[pancreas]

You know what you don't see much of these days? Anchoresses.

Did you read this, perchance?

https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v41/n10/mary-wellesley/this-place-is-pryson

[flotemysost]

Is it still a popular career choice

Haven't seen it come up as a suggestion on Rishi's quiz yet.

[idunnosomename]

You know what you don't see much of these days? Anchoresses.

you're not really supposed to

[Cerys]

What is it about nuns and their barely suppressed rage? There are loads of tales about nuns administering severe beatings or engaging in cruel behaviour, but they can't all be like that, surely?

How about the nice smiley ones riding bicycles past the cricket match on the village green? In your experience are these Brides of Christ  just as likely to give perceived wrongdoers a proper fucking shoeing?

Those that don't ride bikes are sexually frustrated.  It's obvious.

[Dex Sawash]

Has anyone else thought about making a lurker nun sock account.

[Menu]

Oh they are! The aforementioned ear-ripping nun, Sister Catherine, liked me, mainly I think because of our shared nationality. However...

there were a load of masses at that place and during one of them, me, my two best classmates and a girl in our class got sent out for laughing. A crime against God or something. Sister Catherine wanted us all to see her separately so I said I'd go on first, which would calm her down. After all, she liked me. As soon as I was in the room she grabbed me by the lapels and started ramming me into the wall. The sort of thing you'd see in pub fights. I think I had several punches and a couple of face slaps too. Really!

Still at least Brendan, Mick and Sarah's faces were a picture when I staggered out of her room like a punchdrunk boxer. One who hadn't been allowed to fight back. Even if I had been allowed to I think I'd have still lost. She had beating 12-year-olds up down to perfection. Practice makes perfect.

That's fucking horrible.

[thenoise]

There's a sexual health clinic in Bristol on Marybush Lane.  Love it mate.

Is that the one with the sign that says 'use rear entrance'? Just the sort of hearty chuckle you need while waiting for your test results or staggering about having just had an umbrella shoved down your Japseye, allegedly.

[thenoise]

These stories of nuns being violent makes me think they might have extremely unhappy and unfulfilled lives. Who'd have thought it?

Maybe giving up everything in life for a religion in which your gender makes you a second class citizen (/posession) isn't such a wise career plan?
That or they took the traditional career path of being abused/raped, join a convent rather than face up to their psychological scars and then take out their rage on little boys. It's the way we've always done it.

[SpiderChrist]

Those that don't ride bikes are sexually frustrated.  It's obvious.

Yeah we had a maths-teaching nun at my secular comp, nicknamed The Flying Nun cos she rode a bike everywhere. She was quite nice so I assume she was grinding that seat regularly.

[checkoutgirl]

I had a flatmate who had been schooled by the Christian Brothers in the 1950's in County Tipp, they sounded absolutely fucking psychotic. There were a few Irish Catholics I knew who were in therapy- what's the phrase- "there are no ex-Catholics, only recovering Catholics." All of them had this imprinted fear of the nuns or the brothers, or both. I'm not anti-religion per se, but religion and violence seems to be a rather nasty mix, through the ages.

I have vague memories of the stories coming out on Gay Byrne on telly eireann and the Irish Independent in the 1980s and 90s about the routine brutality of the clergy, and people entrusted their kids with these loonies. Then you had the Magdalen laundries of kids being forced into adoption and the unmarried mothers being forced into slave labour washing clothes and baby skeletons being dug up years later.

And Irish society was fine with most of this. The concept of shame being possibly the most prominent and important order of the day. Care, safety, compassion and common sense took a back seat to shame and perceived decency in this twisted society, dark times.

[touchingcloth]

I heard that to protect their identities Salman Rushdie, Andy McNab and Jon Venables trained as nuns and now live together in habits.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I heard that to protect their identities Salman Rushdie, Andy McNab and Jon Venables trained as nuns and now live together in habits.

Yeah, Robbie Coltrane actually played McNabb in a dramatisation.

[Menu]

Yeah we had a maths-teaching nun at my secular comp, nicknamed The Flying Nun cos she rode a bike everywhere.

Do bikes do something different where you live? Was she one of the kids in ET?

[SpiderChrist]

Do bikes do something different where you live? Was she one of the kids in ET?

Yes and yes.

[Menu]

Yes and yes.

Ooooh!