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I'm Having Christmas Dinner Today

Started by DrGreggles, October 11, 2020, 01:54:58 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

touchingcloth

I have an actual pig in a blanket most weeks, as in I get into bed with a pig. They're noisy and smelly, but you can't argue with the quality of the fuck.

bgmnts

That's no way to talk about your own mum.

touchingcloth

Quote from: flotemysost on October 11, 2020, 07:33:02 PM
But have they got a thread for documenting their festive shits?

I get the impression that somewhere on Mumsnet people will be describing their shites, but that the Christmas forum is probably too full of cutesy overgrown children for that.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

They're very fond of acronyms over there aren't they?
BDS - Boxing Day Shite

touchingcloth

DIJAISJUMALSUAC

Darling it's January and it's still jammed up my arsehole like Santa up a chimney.

flotemysost

Some Devils on Horseback might sort that out.



Never tried them myself, but a Yuletide staple for some apparently.

Sebastian Cobb


flotemysost

Apparently 'angels on horseback' are oysters wrapped in bacon, so basically angels give you the RFH while the Devil makes you shit.


BlodwynPig

Having christmas dinner at 2:30am tonight! Just the clock ticking for company.

touchingcloth

Quote from: flotemysost on October 11, 2020, 10:15:02 PM
Some Devils on Horseback might sort that out.



Never tried them myself, but a Yuletide staple for some apparently.

They're excellent. If you like them with chipolatas then they're well worth trying. The angels are good as well, but don't fit in with a Christmas meal so well.

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on October 11, 2020, 10:15:51 PM
Prunes? Shit the bed.

I've also had them with dates.

DO IT WRAP THE PRUNES

Sebastian Cobb

I like dates and prunes but wrapping them in bacon is just not a sweet/savory mix I can get behind. Bit like sultanas in curry really.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

My Grandad ate prunes because he thought they could prevent bowel cancer, which he was convinced he was going to die of. He died of a massive heart attack sat in his car outside a health shop, where he'd just sent my Grandma in to buy him more prunes.
I think theres a life lesson in that somewhere.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on October 11, 2020, 10:44:24 PM
I like dates and prunes but wrapping them in bacon is just not a sweet/savory mix I can get behind. Bit like sultanas in curry really.

It's not so much a contrast as pork and prunes share a sort of darkness. It's more similar to having a chutney with meat really.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on October 11, 2020, 05:53:23 PM
Just remembered it's thanksgiving and we've been asked round the in laws for turkey and stuffing in 2 hours so now I feel a right idiot for mocking everyone. I too will have essentially xmas dinner today.

Bit of an early Thanskgiving dinner that, isn't it?

Aaron500

Presumably Mr Christmas had a joyful day, every day, and it wasn't in any way bleak and deeply depressing:

QuoteHe then drinks sherry, watches the Queen's Speech and opens cards and gifts that he has sent to himself

I've gof a feeling that "he" and "drinks" are the only truthful parts of that sentence.


Anyway, pibs are shit any day of the year. Sausage balls are the only porky accompaniment to have, also nicer cold with yer pickles and mustard in the leftover meals in the days after.

Janie Jones

Quote from: flotemysost on October 11, 2020, 10:15:02 PM
Some Devils on Horseback might sort that out.

Never tried them myself, but a Yuletide staple for some apparently.

My son's partner is South African and has introduced us to some nameless item that is not dissimilar, it's glacé cherries wrapped in crispy, smoked streaky bacon, they are gorgeous and the rest of the Xmas dinner can fuck off, really, once you've tried those smoky, sticky, delicious little bastards.

Ferris

Quote from: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on October 11, 2020, 10:55:38 PM
Bit of an early Thanskgiving dinner that, isn't it?

Depends where you live.

I'm also allergic to champagne, so pop that in your scrapbook Ferris-fans!

idunnosomename

nice to see Vanessa Feltz isn't dead

touchingcloth

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on October 12, 2020, 12:36:11 AM
Depends where you live.

I'm also allergic to champagne, so pop that in your scrapbook Ferris-fans!

Are you actually? Stephen Fry says he is, which I always assumed meant "it's quaffable stuff, so I quaff it and the least embarrassing thing to say about my post-quaffed behaviour is that I am allergic". Must be sutin in the old bubbles.

Ferris

My understating is that it is to do with elevated levels of sulphites that preserve elderly wine for consumption, it is likely true for any wine over a certain age but concentration is much higher with champagne. It makes me incredibly sick, to the point that I refuse all carbonated wines. Oysters make me similarly unwell.

The fact that I had no idea I had mild allergies to oysters and champagne until I was 26 says an awful lot about my financial state prior to that age (I was bananas broke).

Hand Solo

Yes, I have an intolerance to sulphites, it's in wine naturally but they tend to artificially inject lots more into white wines and lots of fast foods as a preservative. Never knew why I got such bad stomachs and reflux and cases of vomiting while staying at friends, because I don't generally drink white wine or eat fast food unless I'm staying over somewhere and they're supplying the stuff.

I bought a bottle of white wine a few weeks ago and to stay off junk food I thought it prudent to buy a bag of fruit and nuts to snack with it instead of carb stuff like crisps and got massively ill within an hour with projectile vomiting into the bath as the toilet was too small a target and checked and the fruit was full of sulphites too keep it looking fresh, and obviously the white wine had an allergy warning of sulphites on the bottle, steered clear off both since and haven't had another attack.I didn't know I had an allergy until googling the symptoms, which made sense of all the previous 'random' attacks.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Aaron500 on October 11, 2020, 11:22:10 PM
Presumably Mr Christmas had a joyful day, every day, and it wasn't in any way bleak and deeply depressing:

I've gof a feeling that "he" and "drinks" are the only truthful parts of that sentence.


Anyway, pibs are shit any day of the year. Sausage balls are the only porky accompaniment to have, also nicer cold with yer pickles and mustard in the leftover meals in the days after.

Force (deriv. faux) meat balls in our family for generations. Since my grandfather died I am now in charge of this and I add whiskey to the mix, which went down well among the more liberated members.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on October 12, 2020, 02:38:25 AM
My understating is that it is to do with elevated levels of sulphites that preserve elderly wine for consumption, it is likely true for any wine over a certain age but concentration is much higher with champagne. It makes me incredibly sick, to the point that I refuse all carbonated wines. Oysters make me similarly unwell.

The fact that I had no idea I had mild allergies to oysters and champagne until I was 26 says an awful lot about my financial state prior to that age (I was bananas broke).

Sounds like you are allergic to corporate high finance and city swinging life. Good that you got out.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Hand Solo on October 12, 2020, 03:08:30 AM
Yes, I have an intolerance to sulphites, it's in wine naturally but they tend to artificially inject lots more into white wines and lots of fast foods as a preservative. Never knew why I got such bad stomachs and reflux and cases of vomiting while staying at friends, because I don't generally drink white wine or eat fast food unless I'm staying over somewhere and they're supplying the stuff.

I bought a bottle of white wine a few weeks ago and to stay off junk food I thought it prudent to buy a bag of fruit and nuts to snack with it instead of carb stuff like crisps and got massively ill within an hour with projectile vomiting into the bath as the toilet was too small a target and checked and the fruit was full of sulphites too keep it looking fresh, and obviously the white wine had an allergy warning of sulphites on the bottle, steered clear off both since and haven't had another attack.I didn't know I had an allergy until googling the symptoms, which made sense of all the previous 'random' attacks.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4017440/

touchingcloth

Quote from: BlodwynPig on October 12, 2020, 07:51:22 AM
Force (deriv. faux) meat balls in our family for generations. Since my grandfather died I am now in charge of this and I add whiskey to the mix, which went down well among the more liberated members.

I always assumed that forcemeat derived from the fact that it was forced through a grinder. Wiktionary gives a third derivation of

Quotefrom the French farcir, "to stuff"[

BlodwynPig

Quote from: touchingcloth on October 12, 2020, 08:03:13 AM
I always assumed that forcemeat derived from the fact that it was forced through a grinder. Wiktionary gives a third derivation of

oh, I thought my family's ancestors had made this up. We never bothered to look up the derivation, which leads to the annual "force meat ball" conversation - which was banned for a few years until my dad and great aunt died, after which it was resurrected. Saving this for the Christmas Day Skype Dinner. DEFINITIVE.

Captain Crunch

Quote from: thenoise on October 11, 2020, 09:00:13 PM
Sprouts not cabbage
Cranberry sauce
Christmas pudding afterwards
All washed down with wildly inappropriate champagne substitute sparkly plonk or Bucks Fizz, not an actually tasty beer.

Happy to hear your preferences but I'd go for:

Turkey
Yorkshire Pudding
Roast potatoes
Roast parsnip
Sprouts
Carrots
Broccoli
Peas
Little sausages wrapped in bacon
Little sausages not wrapped in bacon
Bacon wrapped in bacon
Stuffing, I like peanut and bacon but each to their own
Gravy

Fizzy drink

I like a nice prawn cocktail starter and a sorbet after but there's enough festive stuff to choose from.

I used to work with a bloke who had a WHOLE LAMB SHOULDER on the go in the slow cooker overnight as a side dish.  Mental. 



BlodwynPig

Quote from: Captain Crunch on October 12, 2020, 08:43:01 AM

I used to work with a bloke who had a WHOLE LAMB SHOULDER on the go in the slow cooker overnight as a side dish.  Mental.

yeh? my dad was in the marines

Glebe

Let's all have an early Christmas dinner with all the trimmings.

I wonder if Mr. Christmas really does have his decs up all year round or whether he just puts them up in July for the papers and documentary makers before taking them all back down again.