man wont fuck off talking about terminator sequel ideas

[frajer]

The Terminator gets face blindness and has to ask everyone in the world if they're Sarah Connor. It tanks at the box office but gives Dave Gorman a boner.

[Replies From View]

this man, I do wish he would shut up about terminator sequels

he speaks of nothing else




the other day he said to me just one thing:  "T-3PO"

and then the next day I saw him he was all up to me saying "It'd be great!  Star Wars Terminator crossover!"  And before I could say anything else he just did that rubbing fingers together gesture to signify a wad of cash.  "First British accent Terminator!" he grinned.



What the fuck was all that about?  Did he think he was in the bag for being cast just because he's English?!


fuckin triggering day.  gonna go to bed early.  fuck off

[DistressedArea]

A man struggles to take care of his disabled Terminator on a Northern council estate.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Terminator, but due to damage sustained to his neural net processor, thinks Sarah Connor is a sparrow.

[Sebastian Cobb]

That is the plot of Terminator: Dark Fate, isn't it?

They should do one where the Terminator is an orang-utan.

Throw in a de-aged Clint Eastwood and I would watch the fuck out of it.

[Sebastian Cobb]

A man struggles to take care of his disabled Terminator on a Northern council estate.

This could be alright because he's got at painted on anus.

[Replies From View]

What if John Connor wore a welder's mask and he had a dot matrix printer in the tip of a pen shape so he could scribe anuses on terminators on the production line


Being that close to skynet but just doing a dot matrix anus on terminators.  So near yet so far.  I bet he'd be furious deep down inside but that's capitalism in a nutshell really.  Maybe he'll learn a thing or two before the next film.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Terminator is a pupil in an American high school and falls in love, and John Connor is his best mate who has to add some phrases to his programming so he can ask her out. Miles Dyson is their woodwork teacher and he's made a second "Terminator" from bits of scrap metal and pipe cleaners and makes love to it during lunch.

Terminator defeats coronavirus and is knighted by the Queen and is also offered a peerage.

Terminator runs a pub in Dudley and accepts clothes, boots or motorcycles if people are short on cash. No socks or pants though.

[frajer]

Terminator vs Pedalos: Carnage at the Lake

[Huxleys Babkins]

Cat Terminator

[Replies From View]

That bloke is waddling up to me again.  The Brad Fievel theme tune, he says.

Huh?  He hasn't even fully got my attention yet, and I'm trying to process whether he means the Fievel Goes West Don Bluth animation but nope, of course he's fixating on the Terminator again.

Could have a choir singing it, he says

A choir?


A choir singing the Brad Fievel theme tune.  They could get louder and louder.



And then he just waddles off again, looking properly pleased with himself.

[dissolute ocelot]

The Terminator comes back in time to kill Craig Charles, and he has to use all his Robot Wars skills and contacts to defend himself. It could be a crossover with Spaced.

Mechagodzilla vs Terminator vs Robbie The Robot vs Baby Robot Kurt Russell vs Furby vs Buffybot vs London Docklands train vs that circular thing from Buck Rogers vs Michael Fabricant vs Homer Simpson in a robot suit vs Martin Prince's Robot Date vs K-9 vs Hedonism Bot vs a pissed-off airport escalator that occasionally, randomly enters power-saving mode. Whoever wins, we lose.

Terminator travels forwards in time to a distant future where all the terminators are working as slaves in underground dungeons and all the humans are cavorting in gardens and terminator gets really depressed and maybe there's a twist and who is the real monster and I only watched 20 minutes of the film of The Time Machine and didn't really understand it and may be confusing it with Metropolis.

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no mate I don't have Disney plus


no, what?  little mermaid 2?  no I haven't. 



Ok so I think he is basically saying he's been watching the little mermaid 2 and now he reckons there should be special underwater terminators made



he's really elated, I can't be arsed to tell him I don't give a shit

[Huxleys Babkins]

Dog Terminator

[Replies From View]

it's a close-up of a metal foot

STOMPS on a human skull that is there


know how much it cares about the human skull?  DOESN'T


STOMP


human skull crushed




camera pans up and there's an entire metal skellington and it doesn't even look at how crushed the human skull is.  not even bothered mate.  just going about its day.  human skull?  nothing mate, stomp and don't even care





cut to a girl's bedroom.  all pink and toys everywhere.  now we see the skellington is in there, playing with barbies.  nobody else is in there


gradually we realise the terminator is muttering under its breath



"don't even care" it's saying.  "not even fussed"


"it doesn't even matter anyway.  shut up it's not important.  you weren't even there how would you know"





battlefield:  stomp

human skull stomped upon by metal foot




and the terminator isn't even fussed, it's like this:  not even bothered mate.  not even looking down to see what it was

[frajer]

Terminator vs That Banjo-Playing Lad off Deliverance: Dawn of Justice

[Huxleys Babkins]

EXT. THE WHITEHOUSE

PRESIDENT: I think I speak for everyone in the country when I say thank you, T-800. You saved us from all the Terminators and that big alien Terminator at the end. God bless you and God bless America.

T-800: No problemo. Like in the second one.

*CROWD ROARS*

CREDITS

[Fambo Number Mive]

He's sitting next to Pubes Daz now, telling him how there should be Terminator and Prawn Cocktail crisps, while Legend Gary is ordering four pints.

[Goldentony]

craig, terminators here lad

one second son

craig legs it through the extension windows

ITS ME IM WINDOWS TERMINATOR, RUN THROUGH FUCKIN WINDOWS DONT I, POINTLESS, FUCKIN HELL AAARGH

[Fambo Number Mive]

Terminator vs USS Enterprise D, Terminator in a ship he's drawn himself and is showing you while you drink your pint.

[DistressedArea]

Porcelain Terminator: It can't be bargained with, it can't be reasoned with, it can't go in the dishwasher or the microwave, it's a bit shit if I'm being absolutely honest with you.

[DistressedArea]

Also Wooden Terminator. He's got a painted on face, varnished, lovely craftsmanship. Turned on a lathe. Films mostly about woodworking techniques.  Helps the A-team fight a corrupt local sheriff.  Massive fire hazard.

[frajer]

Terminator Does Dallas

[Replies From View]

Ah man yeah microwave


How about a terminator right that's gone a bit skewiff and keeps popping himself inside an industrial sized one cause he gets off on the sparks or something



The first time it's an accident and you start to realise he must have enjoyed it cause he starts doing it again and again.  And the jokes on him cause don't microwaves fuck up metal?  Or does metal just fuck up microwaves.  Ah fuck.  Nah I can't remember either.  Fuck it


What's your idea then








Nah I meant about terminator sequels

[DistressedArea]

Dunno exactly, but I think maybe wooden terminator and porcelain terminator have to work together, and it's got buddy cop elements.

Also there's a bit where the porcelain terminator discovers his USB slot has been painted on and it's very moving. He's quite a tragic figure.

[Goldentony]

ice terminator aswell, freezing, ahh get away man, freezing, cant solve crime with this tit head

[dissolute ocelot]

Forget organic tissue. He can only travel in time if he's dressed as Jimmy Savile. Polyester.