Advice re. my arse being nationalised

[touchingcloth]

I've tried Money Saving Expert and calling Martin Lewises about this but they haven't been very helpful.

The issue is that Jeremy Corbyns has put a compulsory purchase order on my arse - cheeks and pipe, the "hole" lot - and plans to place it into public ownership after cramming the colon with marrows. Does anyone know what I can do about this, or can recommend a solicitor familiar with habeaus anus?

[Ferris]

I'm afraid you have no rights under the principle of eminent domanus.

All the best with it mate.

[Pingers]

It was inevitable after you failed to meet leakage targets for the fifth year running.

[Fambo Number Mive]

It was either that or putting Serco in charge, but then no poo or wee would ever come out your arse and they would spend £4000 of your money on consultants to find out why.

[touchingcloth]

Is there any way I can go about changing this into some form of PFI deal?

[Pingers]

Is there any way I can go about changing this into some form of PFI deal?

Only if you accept stretch targets

[Ray Travez]

I look forwad to living on an afordabl housing estate in your anus

[Glebe]

I had my arse privatized during the early '00s, best thing that ever happened to me by a country mile.

[touchingcloth]

I'm really annoyed at this government because my arse is actually an ex-council arse I got through right to buy, so it just feels wrong that a different government can privatise it?

[Sebastian Cobb]

I'm really annoyed at this government because my arse is actually an ex-council arse I got through right to buy, so it just feels wrong that a different government can privatise it?

You don't even own it, you're just leasing it for less than 125 years.