Nightmare in 1998 - the year games peaked

[Jerzy Bondov]

Apologies to Lemming for this shameless knock off of his FPS NIGHTMARES thread where he plays old games, and to James Acaster for this shameless knock off of his Perfect Sound Whatever book where he listens to music from one year. This thread is me playing games from one year - 1998. It's:


or: NIGHTMARE IN 1998

In 1998 all of these games came out: The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time, Half-Life, Metal Gear Solid, Grim Fandango, Resident Evil 2, StarCraft, Panzer Dragoon Saga, Thief: The Dark Project, Baldur's Gate. There's only one explanation for this unprecedented concentration of quality within the space of 12 months: Jesus. He blessed the Earth with a bountiful crop of good games, for some reason. Tony Blair hadn't done a Iraq War yet so we were in his good books I suppose. Cheers Jesus.

Now, I have a theory. Would you like to hear it? I think Jesus went a bit too far and accidentally made it so that every game released in 1998 is good. Every single one! You might be sitting there thinking of some shit game and saying 'ahhhh, you're wrong, there's no such thing as Jesus, this shit game came out in 1998'. Well, would you mind letting me find out for myself? Is that alright with you? Fuck sake.

I'm going to play games that came out in 1998 to check and see if they are good. If they're not I'll renounce Christ. My very soul is at stake.

I've decided to stick to games I've never played before, which means I'll mainly be playing PlayStation and N64 games, because I had a Saturn and I've already played the three good games on there. If you don't mind I'll keep the list a secret, but please feel free to suggest games. They have to have come out in 1998. Did I mention that already?

Disclaimer: I won't keep this up for as long as Lemming's thread because I am a useless fucker.

Here come dat first game:

Disney's Mulan
Platform: Game Boy
Developer: Tiertex Design Studios
(also made: handheld ports of James Pond 2, Pocahontas, Robot Wars: Metal Mayhem)
Publisher: THQ
(also made: Red Faction, Homeworld, DarkSiders, a massive loss and had to shut down)

I loved the Disney games on the Mega Drive. Aladdin and The Lion King are the ones everybody remembers,but there are also games of The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast and Pocahontas, which is most of the 'Disney Renaissance'. The Pocahontas game (which is pretty good) came out a year after the film, towards the end of the generation. The next film was The Hunchback of Notre Dame, which did not get a Mega Drive game. The PlayStation got Hercules and Tarzan to round off the renaissance, but Hunchback and Mulan got missed out.

Unless you had a Game Boy, that is! There's a minigame collection based on Hunchback which I'm not arsed about because it came out in certified shit year 1996. But a Mulan game came out for the Game Boy in 1998. A beautifully animated side-scrolling platformer, just like my old favourites, and I didn't even know about it until I started making this thread.

Mulan is the story of a woman who pretends to be a man in order to invade the hard earned sex based safe space for men known as The Chinese Army. She straps her healthy female breast tissue down and goes off to get in the army.



The game skips over the first part of the story and takes you straight to the military training camp, where you must learn to be a soldier by throwing rocks and climbing ropes. Level 2 changes to a top down perspective and you have to help Mulan swim up a river without any lads seeing she's got tits and fanny. It's got a forced scroll and you can easily get snagged on walls, which makes it quite fiddly and annoying. It's a long river as well, absolutely full of lads trying to get a look at your muff.



Now it's time to put all the training to use: you must snowboard along a mountain with Huns popping out of the snow trying to slash your shins. It's a very short level but good fun. Level 4 then has you climb down the mountain while Huns throw rocks at you. I enjoyed this level as the route isn't always clear and sometimes you have to climb back up in order to continue down. It's also got ice slides! This is the best part of the game.

Then you're off to the Imperial City as the Huns invade. This level is a pain in the arse. It has a mechanic where you bounce off awnings (just like most games) but it barely works, and there are several bits where you come to an edge and either have to drop straight off or jump straight out, with no indication as to which option avoids death. Inside the palace the game finally grants you the ability to throw fireworks at people's heads, which is basically all I want out of a game. You have to use these to knock the villainous Shan Yu into a larger pile of fireworks, in order to make him die. This is tricky as you only have a limited number to throw and if you let him take even one step forward you won't have enough. Eventually though it is possible to immolate him.



That's the end, well done, you beat the game. It's not particularly difficult, it definitely isn't long, and the controls are sluggish and awkward. But the animation is great and those mountain levels are worth a go. For a cheapo cash in Game Boy platformer you can do a lot worse.

Is it good?
Yeah, it's good.

NEXT TIME: Buck Bumble (N64, 1998)

[ImmaculateClump]

Some games you might not have played - Dangun Feveron, ESP Ra De and Armed Police Batrider.

[Jerzy Bondov]

I don't think I have any shmups on my list so I will add them to have a look at, cheers!

[druss]

Are you actually going to be playing Baldur's Gate or was that just an example of a great game that came out that year? I hope you play it.

Having said that, it's absolutely impossible to recommend it to a modern audience. If you grew up with the mechanics then it's great and I wouldn't change them but for anyone who hadn't played it back in the day (and a double whammy if they've no idea about AD&D rules) I can see why they'd not get on with it.

[Jerzy Bondov]

I've played Baldur's Gate. I don't think I got very far into it but I could tell it was very good. After all it did come out in 1998. I think I've played all of the games I listed at the start. I've got some weird obscure stuff planned as well as some more well known games. It's easiest for me to play N64 and PlayStation games at the moment but I've got some PC games to get to at some point.

[ASFTSN]

Apocalypse starring Bruce Willis please!

[Bazooka]

Pokemon Red and Blue, yes two separate reviews.

[Lemming]

So much quality. BEST YEAR is definitely 1998 or 1996.

Three fairly obscure game suggestions, if they're not already on your list. They're all PC exclusive games afaik, so they might all be no-go's, but still:

The Elder Scrolls: Redguard - hilariously clunky platform-adventure game. Almost unplayable in parts due to awful controls and physics, but really interesting if you're a fan of the setting.

H.E.D.Z. - extremely crap game which I put countless hours into as a kid. Aliens steal people's heads and wear them for gladiatorial combat, with each head granting different abilities. Would no doubt be an omni-ballache to get running on any modern system.

Die By The Sword - experimental combat game where you control your character's sword-arm using your mouse. Doesn't work on any level and ends with you flailing the sword ineffectually as enemies rip you to shreds.

[NoSleep]

Tenchu: Stealth Assassins was the reason that I had to buy a PSX after playing it at a friend's.

[Consignia]

Pokemon Red and Blue, yes two separate reviews.

1996, Shirley?

H.E.D.Z. - extremely crap game which I put countless hours into as a kid. Aliens steal people's heads and wear them for gladiatorial combat, with each head granting different abilities. Would no doubt be an omni-ballache to get running on any modern system.

I found the concept so great, I waiting for age to get it. I loved the idea of having so many characters and so many different play styles. I even pre-ordered it, so probably ended up with one the first copies. However it was such a disappointment. I'm sure I've still got the original disc somewhere.

[Bazooka]

1996, Shirley?

Technically yes,  but so I don't look wrong, 1998 was when it got localized outside of Japan.

[Jerzy Bondov]

Apocalypse starring Bruce Willis please!

This one is coming very soon! Exactly the sort of game I'm after.

So much quality. BEST YEAR is definitely 1998 or 1996.

Three fairly obscure game suggestions, if they're not already on your list. They're all PC exclusive games afaik, so they might all be no-go's, but still:

The Elder Scrolls: Redguard - hilariously clunky platform-adventure game. Almost unplayable in parts due to awful controls and physics, but really interesting if you're a fan of the setting.

H.E.D.Z. - extremely crap game which I put countless hours into as a kid. Aliens steal people's heads and wear them for gladiatorial combat, with each head granting different abilities. Would no doubt be an omni-ballache to get running on any modern system.

Die By The Sword - experimental combat game where you control your character's sword-arm using your mouse. Doesn't work on any level and ends with you flailing the sword ineffectually as enemies rip you to shreds.

I had Die By The Sword but never got anywhere with it. Impossible but very funny and therefore good. I played the demo of Redguard and liked it, but I didn't get out of the first town. HEDZ sounds perfect for this thread. Thanks!

Tenchu: Stealth Assassins was the reason that I had to buy a PSX after playing it at a friend's.

Never played this somehow. Will get it on the list.

Thanks for the tips everyone. I've started a couple more reviews already so this thread will get a burst of energy before inevitably tanking.

[evilcommiedictator]

You've got the baffling James Bond GB game to play, the hilariously-easy once you know what you're doing (but otherwise mediocre) Star Wars Rebellion, amazing Decent: FreeSpace, Might and Magic 7, Metal Gear Solid, and 1080 snowboarding.

But then again, you have to play Iggy's wreckin' Balls, Body Harvest and Gex: Enter the Gecko.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Star Wars Rogue Squadron was 1998, if I remember rightly. I've been reminiscing fondly about that recently, after the rather disappointing Squadrons. I'd be interested to see if it actually holds up.

[Ferris]

Tenchu: Stealth Assassins was the reason that I had to buy a PSX after playing it at a friend's.

Absolute beast of a game. Loved it.

[ASFTSN]

You've got the baffling James Bond GB game to play, the hilariously-easy once you know what you're doing (but otherwise mediocre) Star Wars Rebellion, amazing Decent: FreeSpace, Might and Magic 7, Metal Gear Solid, and 1080 snowboarding.

But then again, you have to play Iggy's wreckin' Balls, Body Harvest and Gex: Enter the Gecko.

Might and Magic 6, I think. I was going to mention it but no way anyone's gonna play through all 200 hours of that for a review on a comedy forum....are they?

It's just a scratch but I want it fixed!

[Jerzy Bondov]

I absolutely fucking love the James Bond Game Boy game. I got it with my Game Boy Color and I have a clear memory of playing it in an upstairs bedroom at a New Years Party my parents had brought me to. It may well have been the end of 1998. I was stuck on that bit where you get dropped in the desert with all your shit gone. I must have done it in the end because I know I completed it a few times. I love the Marrakesh level where you have to try and get invited to the Baccarat table. Once you're in there you have to win a game of Baccarat. I still have no idea what the rules are for Baccarat. I'd just press random buttons and eventually win. Probably for the best; can you imagine what a 12 year old who knows how to play Baccarat must be like?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Nineties mate

[George Oscar Bluth II]

FIFA '98 - Road to World Cup is still the definitive edition in my view, not least because it has:

a) a button where you can push over other players
b) every country in the world as playable teams. Vanuatu v Central African Republic? WHY THE FUCK NOT.

[imitationleather]

FIFA '98 - Road to World Cup is still the definitive edition in my view, not least because it has:

a) a button where you can push over other players
b) every country in the world as playable teams. Vanuatu v Central African Republic? WHY THE FUCK NOT.

It is indeed a great game. But it was released in 1997 and so does not belong in this thread.

[Ferris]

FIFA '98 - Road to World Cup is still the definitive edition in my view, not least because it has:

a) a button where you can push over other players
b) every country in the world as playable teams. Vanuatu v Central African Republic? WHY THE FUCK NOT.

Also has a "blatant dive" button (triple tap R1 I think). Never once executed successfully.

Turn off ref, turn off subs, use the two footed R2 tackles and run havoc over the cunts.

[lazarou]

Die By The Sword - experimental combat game where you control your character's sword-arm using your mouse. Doesn't work on any level and ends with you flailing the sword ineffectually as enemies rip you to shreds.

I had a demo of this featuring one of the arena levels and absolutely played it to death, I loved that truly ridiculous combat system (if you do try it be sure to use mouse controls for the full effect). I ended up tracking down the full game eventually but honestly the arena duels are all you really need, it keeps the focus on the 'fun' stuff whereas the actual story levels are a shambles. Pointless trivia: it was one of a small handful of Interplay games that had optional 'cuss packs' you had to order separately that supposedly added much stronger language to the game. There might have been others but the only other game I can think of that had that was Redneck Rampage.

The only other game that had a real attempt at DBTS's insane VSIM combat system was Mode 7's Determinance, which from what I remember has much snappier controls but takes a lot of the fun out of it by staging the duels between superpowered swordfighters who fly through the sky, which does remove the awkwardness of trying to manage those controls while navigating obstacles but also removes the fun of making a total arse of yourself diving back into a spike trap. A noble effort, but having a bunch of highlander wannabes flapping around just isn't the same.

[George Oscar Bluth II]

It is indeed a great game. But it was released in 1997 and so does not belong in this thread.

Oh of course, stupid FIFA. FIFA 99 was shite.

[Cuellar]

I had a demo of this featuring one of the arena levels and absolutely played it to death, I loved that truly ridiculous combat system

Ditto - was obsessed with it for a good while. Love it.

[Cuellar]

Am I misremembering (or dismembering!!), but you could get your leg chopped off, topple over, and still swing your sword around at the enemy, like the Black Knight in Holy Grail?

[MojoJojo]

Am I misremembering (or dismembering!!), but you could get your leg chopped off, topple over, and still swing your sword around at the enemy, like the Black Knight in Holy Grail?

Yes. If it's the same demo as I remember you started off hanging upside down over a pit, and you had to start by cutting the rope so you'd fall down. Although quite often you'd cut your foot off instead. You then had to fight a skeleton. I have vague memories of some sort of boarmen.

I also remember that cutting off a left arm was survivable, but cutting off the sword arm was always fatal.

While looking on youtube for a video, it looks retrogamer did some sort of rerelease: https://youtu.be/7RC268vmQuU

I might try and track it down.

[Jerzy Bondov]

Your man in that would say 'You hit like a kobold!' As a cool guy who fucked I didn't know what a kobold was.

[lazarou]

Am I misremembering (or dismembering!!), but you could get your leg chopped off, topple over, and still swing your sword around at the enemy, like the Black Knight in Holy Grail?

It's been a while but I'm almost certain a dismembered player could still hop around the place on their one good leg in some cases. I can't recall if you can still fight completely legless but I do remember what mojojojo mentioned about losing your sword arm being a career-ender.

Yes. If it's the same demo as I remember you started off hanging upside down over a pit, and you had to start by cutting the rope so you'd fall down. Although quite often you'd cut your foot off instead. You then had to fight a skeleton. I have vague memories of some sort of boarmen.

I think that's the other demo or a different part of it as the stage burned in my mind is a mid-sized arena with a small footbridge over a lava pit. It was a straight-up deathmatch where you'd fight individual enemies (and I think also small groups of 2 or 3) to the death. I do remember that other one though so I must've played both at some point.

[NoSleep]

Not many games that I've played from 1998 are from Square (probably my favourite game developer/publisher) apart from Xenogears, Parasite Eve 1 (both of which I've partially played recently) and Ehrgeiz: God Bless The Ring which, unusually for Square, is a 3D beat em up. Ehrgeiz features playable character from FFVII and also a bonus RPG beat em up. All three on the PSX.

A more obscure British game came out in 1998, called Constructor, initially for PC but also a version appeared on the PSX. It's essentially a real time strategy game, versus the computer or human players, but isn't set in a traditional battlefield. Instead you are scum landlord building your property empire literally from the ground up. You can legitimately just play it as a race to the top, but there exists the possibility of attacking other players by sending undesirable tenants and plagues of vermin into their estates to cause mayhem and squat in their properties. It has a very Ealing comedy ambience.

[thenoise]

Grim Fandango aside, the humble 'point and click' adventure game was on the wane by '98.
Ring: The Legend of the Nibelungen is worth a play just as a reminder of how bad some of the non LucasArts/Sierra titles could get. Hope you like Wagner!