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CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit

Started by MojoJojo, November 12, 2020, 10:35:39 AM

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Norton Canes

Quote from: Blue Jam on February 20, 2021, 07:40:41 PM
For what it's worth I don't think I have finished reading a single book during lockdown. I go through phases of not wanting to read anything and lockdown might have been the worst time for another one to strike, but here we are

Same here, lately. Managed le Carré's 'A Perfect Spy' over last summer but I'm stuck halfway through a few things now. Getting through a whole 2000 AD is about my limit.

finnquark

Gorgeous cat dying in the vets tonight of concurrent heart and kidney disease. He really helped my girlfriend and I get through the lockdown, and we only had him 3 months. He's a 3 year old and its heartbreaking. Load of wank.

Chedney Honks

Quote from: petercussing on January 15, 2021, 02:36:27 PM
Hello everyone, i feel super shitty as both nan and uncle are defo going to die of covids as they both have total renal failure and it's just a matter of when not it if. This is excrusicating, even more so as me and all my family can't see them or each other for comfort.

Hey, boston crebs, pls add this to your list of why we should actually kill all covid offenders

Pete, very sorry I didn't see this sooner, mate. I'm really sad to read this. I hope you're doing OK under the circumstances. I don't know how we'll come out of this as we all society but hopefully with a load of chode tier amoebae getting actually sniped in their sleep.

Chedney Honks

Quote from: finnquark on February 20, 2021, 07:50:34 PM
Gorgeous cat dying in the vets tonight of concurrent heart and kidney disease. He really helped my girlfriend and I get through the lockdown, and we only had him 3 months. He's a 3 year old and its heartbreaking. Load of wank.

Absolutely heartbreaking. Sending lots of hugs. I'm sure you gave him a brilliant life which he wouldn't have had otherwise.

Pink Gregory


Blue Jam

Sorry to hear that finnquark, kidney failure seems to get all kitties in the end and it's an absolute fucker. A friend of mine lost one of her cats to kidney failure during lockdown. This cat was a proper "dog cat"- affectionate, loved being fussed over, dumb as a box of rocks. She was great fun and it was also sad for my friend's other cat suddenly wondering where her friend had gone.

My local pub's resident doggo died over lockdown, she was a proper Edinburgh legend who is still sorely missed by many. When I entered the pub she'd stare at me doing an excited little hopping dance before running over to give me an epic nuzzle before trying to lick my hand off. Shortly afterwards we lost one of the other regular doggos, a proper gentle giant of a dog, a big soft lovely, one of those big doggos who have no idea of their size, a doggo who couldn't comprehend that he wasn't a lapdog.

Life is just better with animals about the place isn't it? I really, really, really need to get my own doggo soon, I grew up with doggos and not having one around still feels very wrong.

Hugs to you too finnquark xxx



Consignia

Aww, that's heartbreaking. Cats are such lovely companions, and it's always hard to say good bye. Stay strong, finn.

Blue Jam

Oh what a lovely big fluffy grumpbag. Great name too. Sleep well Ken x

non capisco

Speaking to my mum on the phone today when she's having a bad day with the old alzheimers and is really struggling to communicate very much brought home how much I've missed out on with her during the time we've had to stay apart due to covid. Later today I had a lovely rambling two hour phone conversation with a dear friend I haven't seen in well over a year which helped to lift my spirits but I haven't been able to entirely shake the gut level sorrow I felt after that phone call with mum. She's had her first jab and I hope to see her again really soon.

Norton Canes


flotemysost

Thanks all for the kind comments upthread, really appreciate it, and I know how absolutely ridiculous it is to even be worrying about this shit when we're in a fucking pandemic. I suppose it doesn't help that I work in a creative industry and everyone's always blethering about what they're reading/writing etc., and then my brother is a bloody musician so every family Skype call includes an update on his latest compositions, while I'm just here like BRUSHED MA TEEFS TODAY HUR HUR.

But yeah, obviously it's not a competition of "Wahey, let's see who can be the most productive with the free time gifted to us by a horrific global health crisis!!!" and I do feel a lot better today, so thanks all. x

So sorry for your loss finnquark, he looks like he was a majestic creature and I'm sure you gave him a really great life. It's utter bollocks when they're taken so soon.

And sorry to hear that non capisco, that sounds like such a difficult situation - and one that isn't really talked about much at the moment, given how many people must be in a similar position at the moment. That's really good that she's had the jab, hope you can see her again soon and that people aren't separated from their families by this absolute shitter for too much longer.

El Unicornio, mang

Sorry for your loss, finnquark, I know the feeling all too well.

finnquark

Sorry to bump this thread with some self-indulgence but Ken made a Lazarus-like recovery and is now back with us recovering. Thanks for being nice everyone.

flotemysost

That's lovely news, not self indulgent at all!

chveik




jobotic

Nice one Ken!

We've only had ours three months too and even after such a short time it'd leave such a hole if she wasn't here.

Chedney Honks

Yo finnquark man did you actually finish Pet Sematary :(


The Mollusk

Quote from: finnquark on February 22, 2021, 06:50:52 PM
Sorry to bump this thread with some self-indulgence but Ken made a Lazarus-like recovery and is now back with us recovering. Thanks for being nice everyone.

Incredibly pleased to hear this.




I need to indulge myself a bit here if you'll have me. I'm starting to become acutely aware of how shit-scared I am of the eventual return to normalcy. I don't for a second believe that fucking nightclubs are going to be back open in June but even if that scale of things were to become available to us again, I just have no idea how I would fit into that world where people go out and meet in groups and have fun. I have always greatly enjoyed socialising with friends but everything just sounds so daunting to me now.

My ADHD and anxiety combined means that whenever I contemplate enjoying the life I used to enjoy before all of this, I get a massive barrage of unstoppable hypothetical scenarios such as getting on a plane or being in a beer garden or standing in the crowd at a gig or eating in a restaurant or going to see my family on the train, and all of the impossibly incomprehensible levels of deafening crowd/field noise flooding over the top of those thoughts. It's fucking overwhelming and, at times, terrifying.

Last night after seeing Boris have a merry fucking chuckle about no need for scotch egg guidelines I totally broke down in tears at the mountain of fear that accompanies even the notion of casually doing anything remotely "normal" in a fun social setting. These thoughts are then exacerbated further in the knowing that when we can actually go back to the pub, it's not just going to be business as usual, it's going to be absolutely fucking mental. I live in London and I hate the vast swathes of dickheads you get swelling out beer gardens in summertime as it is. Those sorts of places feel like they will be a total no-go for me for a very long time.

I'm aware that when given enough time and isolation to contemplate these things it's inevitable that they'll feel a lot worse in your head than in reality, but when your grip on reality dribbles away a tiny bit with each passing day and you become more resigned to spending your life out of reach from pretty much all your friends and family, sometimes it all gets to be a bit too much. It's scary. I am scared.

Having endless offers of love and support from those friends and family at such a distance and on such an emotional scale is also, amusingly, absolutely no help at all. I spoke to a friend yesterday who helped me realise this. He said he doesn't want a massive in-depth chat about his worries and woes and to be told we're all in this together. He just wants to casually hang out over a couple of beers and talk about nothing. Points of relatability are thin on the ground and those "a funny thing happened to me on the train last week" chats which spiral off into silly tangents and make for truly great casual bonding experiences are fairly nonexistent now. We catch up with one another less frequently and when we finally do, we've got even less to talk about.

Fucking hell. Even though this will at some point come to an end, it feels endless on account of how utterly tedious and boring and quiet the world is. But when I think about the world I want to return to, the noise I can hear roaring at me from a great distance is deafening and it's hard not to feel a little bit like I don't want that to ever come back.

poo

Yes this isn't great, but in some ways what's to come is worse.

shiftwork2

I think relatively few people are gagging to get back to normal.  The August and September footfall in pubs and restaurants was so woeful that they had to pay half of the food bill to tempt anyone back at all.  So it'll be very gradual, and will probably take several years to return to 2019 levels.  I'm quite looking forward to the new quiet.

El Unicornio, mang

Yeah I'm seeing a lot of posts from people about how they're going to go crazy partytime on the 21st June. I hate crowded pubs at the best of times and it's going to be a lot worse, with everyone's patter being the same "been a while since we did this hurhur" "not much social distancing going on in with that lot hehe" etc and people getting even more horribly drunk than they usually do in this country because of their reduced tolerance. If things do go as "planned" I'm not going anywhere near social spaces for at least a few weeks.

Glebe

Sorry to hear it, non capisco. Have personal experience with dementia-type issues in the family and it's very upsetting.

Delighted that Ken rallied, finnquark!

I dunno if it's any consolation to you Mollusk, but my anxiety has been through the roof for ages, it comes and goes and I feel like I just can't tough it out any more. In any case, hang on in there mate, the numbers appear to be dropping and the vaccine offers some hope.

mobias

Quote from: El Unicornio, mang on February 23, 2021, 02:50:04 PM
Yeah I'm seeing a lot of posts from people about how they're going to go crazy partytime on the 21st June. I hate crowded pubs at the best of times and it's going to be a lot worse, with everyone's patter being the same "been a while since we did this hurhur" "not much social distancing going on in with that lot hehe" etc and people getting even more horribly drunk than they usually do in this country because of their reduced tolerance. If things do go as "planned" I'm not going anywhere near social spaces for at least a few weeks.

I haven't missed being in a pub at all. I do wonder about clubs. From what I could see the numbers of people who go clubbing had been on decline before all this kicked off anyway. I can imagine quite a few of them never returning. The idea of going clubbing
seems so alien to me now. Who will want to be in an enclosed badly ventilated sweaty small area even if you've been vaccinated? You've got a one in ten chance the vaccine isn't going to work for you and I presume there's a one in ten chance someone else could be carrying the virus.

El Unicornio, mang

Quote from: mobias on February 23, 2021, 03:00:36 PM
I haven't missed being in a pub at all. I do wonder about clubs. From what I could see the numbers of people who go clubbing had been on decline before all this kicked off anyway. I can imagine quite a few of them never returning. The idea of going clubbing
seems so alien to me now. Who will want to be in an enclosed badly ventilated sweaty small area even if you've been vaccinated? You've got a one in ten chance the vaccine isn't going to work for you and I presume there's a one in ten chance someone else could be carrying the virus.

Yeah, there's really popular place in Newcastle that I would regularly got dragged to that would get so packed that you literally couldn't move at times and would have to squeeze through hundreds of people just to get to the toilet. Aside from being a fire hazard it's obviously a great place for a virus to spread. I got really ill with a nightmare cough for weeks not long after being there around Jan/Feb last year which I later thought might possibly have been Covid in its early stages.

And, people just don't give a shit when they're drunk, they'd dive into a pool of covid if there was a load of "birds", loud music /cheap booze on offer.

imitationleather

Quote from: El Unicornio, mang on February 23, 2021, 03:08:57 PM
Yeah, there's really popular place in Newcastle that I would regularly got dragged to that would get so packed that you literally couldn't move at times and would have to squeeze through hundreds of people just to get to the toilet. Aside from being a fire hazard it's obviously a great place for a virus to spread. I got really ill with a nightmare cough for weeks not long after being there around Jan/Feb last year which I later thought might possibly have been Covid in its early stages.

And, people just don't give a shit when they're drunk, they'd dive into a pool of covid if there was a load of "birds", loud music /cheap booze on offer.

Sounds like a good place for the next CaB Newcastle meet.