CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit

[IsavedLatin]

Thank you, confettiinmyhair, I will look into ACT -- not something I've encountered before.

[Camp Tramp]

Currently, rather annoyed.

Am double jabbed and tested negative.

Yesterday evening got the NHS app alert that I have to self-isolate for several days. That means that I walked past someone on Friday who had it. I was with 3 other people in Bournemouth and none of them has been told to self-isolate.

Ran another test, still negative. I don't mind lessened contact with humanity, I do mind not being able to leave the flat.

[mothman]

Is there a thread for positive news? ("Don't be ridiculous, mothy" says everyone, "this is CaB!") My youngest, autistic, just had her Educational Healthcare Plan come through. This has been a LONG slog, with COVID not helping. We're not out of the woods yet, she doesn't have a specialist school to go to at present because the process was so delayed. But she's not going to be thrown into mainstream education at least (her one preparatory visit to the local secondary academy ended in a six-hour meltdown). But this has been a major source of stress for us. Suddenly things feel a lot better. Having just five weeks to find her a school and get school uniform etc.? That's NOTHING, we can do that standing on our heads..

[bakabaka]

Is there a thread for positive news? ("Don't be ridiculous, mothy" says everyone, "this is CaB!") My youngest, autistic, just had her Educational Healthcare Plan come through. This has been a LONG slog, with COVID not helping. We're not out of the woods yet, she doesn't have a specialist school to go to at present because the process was so delayed. But she's not going to be thrown into mainstream education at least (her one preparatory visit to the local secondary academy ended in a six-hour meltdown). But this has been a major source of stress for us. Suddenly things feel a lot better. Having just five weeks to find her a school and get school uniform etc.? That's NOTHING, we can do that standing on our heads..

Congratulations! Mainstream school did an enormous amount of damage to my autistic son, with all the clichés of bullying by students and staff, suspension for being attacked, schools refusing to make adjustments, etc. etc. In the end we managed to get him into a specialist school (Hospital and Home Help service run by the council) for his 2 years of A-levels (got it named in his Education Plan thankfully, thus preventing them from closing it down it after his first year). Absolute hell that meant there was an 8-year period during which we had 2 weeks in which there was no pending court case/tribunal/social services assessment/etc. Which started again as soon as he went to university. 5 years later, no degree but £50,000 richer due to the university admitting having broken a swathe of laws to force him out.

So congratulations and I really hope for your daughter's sake that this was the biggest hurdle. Best of luck finding a suitable and supportive school - I'm told that in most places things are a lot better than they were 15 years ago.

[Glebe]

Currently, rather annoyed.

Am double jabbed and tested negative.

Yesterday evening got the NHS app alert that I have to self-isolate for several days. That means that I walked past someone on Friday who had it. I was with 3 other people in Bournemouth and none of them has been told to self-isolate.

Ran another test, still negative. I don't mind lessened contact with humanity, I do mind not being able to leave the flat.

Aw sorry CT. Fucking pain in the arse being fully-vaxxed but having to mingle with couldn't-give-a-shit idiots.

Is there a thread for positive news? ("Don't be ridiculous, mothy" says everyone, "this is CaB!") My youngest, autistic, just had her Educational Healthcare Plan come through. This has been a LONG slog, with COVID not helping. We're not out of the woods yet, she doesn't have a specialist school to go to at present because the process was so delayed. But she's not going to be thrown into mainstream education at least (her one preparatory visit to the local secondary academy ended in a six-hour meltdown). But this has been a major source of stress for us. Suddenly things feel a lot better. Having just five weeks to find her a school and get school uniform etc.? That's NOTHING, we can do that standing on our heads..

Nice one Moths!

[mothman]

Thank you both! The provisions round here are limited but we have at least three we like the look of and have been able to prioritise. One is like ten minutes walk away (our hope is they'll make this happen, because it saves them having to arrange transport for her); the other is in the next town (but the same town her sister will - hopefully[nb]That's the next thing - GCSE results. Two weeks and counting...[/nb] - be going to sixth form) and five minutes walk from her grandparents.

[Kankurette]

Is there a thread for positive news? ("Don't be ridiculous, mothy" says everyone, "this is CaB!") My youngest, autistic, just had her Educational Healthcare Plan come through. This has been a LONG slog, with COVID not helping. We're not out of the woods yet, she doesn't have a specialist school to go to at present because the process was so delayed. But she's not going to be thrown into mainstream education at least (her one preparatory visit to the local secondary academy ended in a six-hour meltdown). But this has been a major source of stress for us. Suddenly things feel a lot better. Having just five weeks to find her a school and get school uniform etc.? That's NOTHING, we can do that standing on our heads..

Congratulations! I hope she finds a school where she's happy. And taken seriously.

[mothman]

Thanks! She's stressing tonight because she doesn't know which (specialist) school. All she knows is she's not going to that (mainstream) school.

[Kankurette]

I've had another self-harm relapse and it was triggered by Everton losing 4-0 to Man United in a friendly. I don't even know why it's upset me, it's stupid, and if you're a Liverpool fan and you want to laugh at me, don't, OK? It's not funny and I really, really am getting desperate because I can't see a way out and I really want to just give football up and find something else to focus on. I haven't self-harmed in ages and every time I relapse I feel like I've failed everyone. I'm so ashamed of myself. My mum quit drinking but I haven't quit cutting.

[Glebe]

Very sorry to hear that Kankurette, hope you're feeling better now... do you have some kind of support you can contact?

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

please don't feel ashamed kankurette. relapses are really tough and i understand personally struggling with that but you're absolutely no failure; you're a wonderful individual and one of the best on here

[pigamus]

My best wishes to you Kankurette , I wish I had something more helpful to say than the usual cliched bollocks but I hope you get through it

[mothman]

Yes, no need to be ashamed. And yes you should maybe reevaluate your relationship with football. Teams win and lose. They also occasionally win big - or lose big. There's a lot that's beneficial to being invested in a team. But not to if it's having this sort of effect on your well-being. Some kind of support or counselling would be beneficial though.

[Chedney Honks]

I'm really sorry to hear that, Kankurette. I really would give football (and especially bloody Everton) a good swerve for the season. You've got a nothing to be ashamed about and nobody here will be anything other than sympathetic and understanding.

[Kankurette]

Thanks, guys. I honestly want to for now. I enjoyed the Euros but club football just makes me unhappy and has for ages and I don't even know why.

Doesn't help that I got little sleep last night because my cat tried to bring a live mouse in. I have a phobia. I try to lock the cat flap while I'm sleeping but I had to let him out because he was trying to batter it down.

[greencalx]

Adding to the well wishes. I hope you can find someone who can help you sort this out.

On the cat front, we are fortunate that ours mostly stops at socks when it comes to exercising it's murderous instincts.

[Kankurette]

And thanks for not laughing at me. I was expecting people to go 'well you support the Ev, what do you expect, of course you're miserable ha ha ha'.

I know there was a guy in my life who was a Liverpool fan and I had a real terror of Liverpool winning the league cos I was worried he'd bully me. He'd been nasty to me about football in the past. I fell out with him before 2020 and I thought I'd be over the Everton thing but I'm not. I just seem to take it personally when they lose and I don't know why. I even worry it's my fault somehow.

[flotemysost]

I'm really sorry Kankurette, please don't be ashamed of yourself for relapsing, it's fucking hard and it doesn't make you a failure in any way at all. Agree with others that maybe it's best to give football a bit of a rest if you can, if you recognise that it's a trigger for you to feel bad about yourself. Hope you feel kinder to yourself soon.

[Kankurette]

This guy I met last night said "You're the Everton fan, aren't you?" (he was Man United) and I said, "Not anymore," and he said, "You can't change your football team!" and I said, "Well I fucking can, and I have" and burst into tears. I did apologise later, but holy hell. It was so embarrassing.

I do wonder how much of it is because I associate football with that Liverpool fan. He was also someone I looked up to, a lot, and I genuinely considered changing teams cos I thought he'd like me more. That and I went to an Everton v Swansea game a week or so after my mum was rushed to hospital following a binge, and I had a panic attack when they equalised and had to beg my auntie and uncle to get me out of the stadium. It never happened before. Every Everton match I've been to since, I've walked out. I've never stuck the whole 90 minutes. No other team has this effect on me - I cried when Wednesday went down but that was it. I'm thinking of sticking to lower leagues and internationals. Less investment.

It makes me sad because I used to love going the match as a kid and I was never like this back when I was in high school. I know Liverpool fans ripping the piss out of me online is a trigger. I hate being called a bitter, I hate Heysel jokes and 'lol 1995'. I know it's just banter but it fucking hurts and just reminds me of the twats who bullied me.

Thankfully I had enough restraint to make sure the cuts weren't deep.

[Glebe]

No need to be embarrassed K mate. You've been through a lot by the sound of it. Give yourself a break.

[Kankurette]

Thanks. Actually, one thing I need to start doing is being kinder to myself. My therapist last year told me I should do that instead of going 'oh stop being so pathetic, Kankurette, you idiot'.

[finnquark]

You're near Withington right? (Remember you mentioning it r.e. the Rashford mural). Loads of nice lower league clubs that are welcoming round your way! Might rekindle the love of just going to a match.

[dr beat]

Kankurette, sending all my hugs and thoughts with you.

I hear you about feeling how you do about your team.  We're the opposites maybe but I hear you.  Please take care.

I am a Red.  I know that Our City hates the S*n together.  We all know.

I have another team, another sport, my passion, which has been on life support more than once.  As in my avatar.  As in life. 

Sorry, I dunno where I'm going with this but - I can totally identify how sport hurts. 

[Kankurette]

You're near Withington right? (Remember you mentioning it r.e. the Rashford mural). Loads of nice lower league clubs that are welcoming round your way! Might rekindle the love of just going to a match.

Yeah, I passed it earlier and people still leave the odd tribute. Im actually hoping to catch an FC United game at some point. I like lower division games. They're unpretentious and there's more of a family atmosphere.

[canadagoose]

I'm sorry, does anyone mind if I post in here again. I'm feeling dead-ended and I don't know what the hell to do. I feel like the medical profession has given up on me, and I'm just left in this state forever now. I'm 32 and I'm sick of it already. Nobody seems to want to do anything about the fibromyalgia or hypermobility I've got; I just get a "well we're treating it, what else do you want?" and I don't get referred to any specialists or anything. I'm falling into worse depression again, and my psychiatrist just thinks changing my medication again is ridiculous, and I can't seem to get referred to a psychologist (although they'd probably do CBT and mindfulness again, the thought of which I hate). My mobility is getting worse, my hands hurt all the pissing time WITH painkillers and nobody's arsed about the numbness I'm getting below the waist and I have to take a portable stool (not that kind) in my backpack because nowhere has any STUPID benches any more COS OF COVUD or some daft excuse. I'm trying to start out getting self-employed but I've been plagued with infections with bonus horrible abdominal pain and profuse vomiting, and even more fatigue. So that's just it, is it? Piss off and good luck? Oh yeah, CHEERS MATE

Benefits are going down over £80 a month soon and my claim for PIP is taking an absolute age (I applied in March. MARCH! I have had to chase them four times now and I'm no further forward). Stupid bloody DWP. And this flat is made out of soggy cardboard or something and is falling to bits. So many tradesmen, so much dosh. Can't get away from the neighbourhood noise either. Thank God for my best pal who I live with. I don't know where I'd be without him.

Sorry, I know I've been hard to sympathise with as of late but I need to blurt this out. Thanks

[Blue Jam]

Kankurette, sending all my hugs and thoughts with you.

I hear you about feeling how you do about your team.  We're the opposites maybe but I hear you.  Please take care.

I am a Red.  I know that Our City hates the S*n together.  We all know.

I have another team, another sport, my passion, which has been on life support more than once.  As in my avatar.  As in life. 

Sorry, I dunno where I'm going with this but - I can totally identify how sport hurts.

<3

[bgmnts]

I'm sorry, does anyone mind if I post in here again. I'm feeling dead-ended and I don't know what the hell to do. I feel like the medical profession has given up on me, and I'm just left in this state forever now. I'm 32 and I'm sick of it already. Nobody seems to want to do anything about the fibromyalgia or hypermobility I've got; I just get a "well we're treating it, what else do you want?" and I don't get referred to any specialists or anything. I'm falling into worse depression again, and my psychiatrist just thinks changing my medication again is ridiculous, and I can't seem to get referred to a psychologist (although they'd probably do CBT and mindfulness again, the thought of which I hate). My mobility is getting worse, my hands hurt all the pissing time WITH painkillers and nobody's arsed about the numbness I'm getting below the waist and I have to take a portable stool (not that kind) in my backpack because nowhere has any STUPID benches any more COS OF COVUD or some daft excuse. I'm trying to start out getting self-employed but I've been plagued with infections with bonus horrible abdominal pain and profuse vomiting, and even more fatigue. So that's just it, is it? Piss off and good luck? Oh yeah, CHEERS MATE

Benefits are going down over £80 a month soon and my claim for PIP is taking an absolute age (I applied in March. MARCH! I have had to chase them four times now and I'm no further forward). Stupid bloody DWP. And this flat is made out of soggy cardboard or something and is falling to bits. So many tradesmen, so much dosh. Can't get away from the neighbourhood noise either. Thank God for my best pal who I live with. I don't know where I'd be without him.

Sorry, I know I've been hard to sympathise with as of late but I need to blurt this out. Thanks

Sounds shite but you'll pull through! Pretty sure getting PIP payments to work out is one of Heracles' 12 labours isn't it? I had mine denied very quick sharpish, which fair enough like.

Good luck with the self employment. Getting some agency over yourself and your labour will be fucking ace!

[canadagoose]

Sounds shite but you'll pull through! Pretty sure getting PIP payments to work out is one of Heracles' 12 labours isn't it? I had mine denied very quick sharpish, which fair enough like.

Good luck with the self employment. Getting some agency over yourself and your labour will be fucking ace!

Thank you, bgmnts. God knows how but heh, who knows.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Sending virtual hugs canandagoose. Some charities such as Mind can provide specialist benefits advice, it might be worth talking to them for advice re the DWP being slow with your PIP claim. Would advise you keep a copy of any letter and/or document you send the DWP.

[Zetetic]

Sorry, I know I've been hard to sympathise with as of late but I need to blurt this out. Thanks

That has not been my experience of you, on here, even when I've disagreed with you about something.

Hope things get better sooner.