Author Topic: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit  (Read 17217 times)

Blue Jam

  • Proper Billy Bonkers
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #60 on: November 16, 2020, 10:28:27 PM »
Hope the venlafaxine withdrawal goes OK for you. If you want a few tips, I'd recommend asking for some anti-emetics from your GP (cyclizine works for some folk, not for me, and prochlorperazine works fine), keep the lights low, and don't move your head too much. And stock up on paracetamol.

That's much appreciated, thanks CG. I've been dreading coming off the venlafaxine and figured it'd be best to do it when I have a few weeks off work. Hopefully I will at least have been able to halve my daily dose from 75mg to 37.5mg by Christmas. Thanks again.

canadagoose

  • Member
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  • inoperable brain bum hole
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #61 on: November 16, 2020, 11:10:04 PM »
That's much appreciated, thanks CG. I've been dreading coming off the venlafaxine and figured it'd be best to do it when I have a few weeks off work. Hopefully I will at least have been able to halve my daily dose from 75mg to 37.5mg by Christmas. Thanks again.
No probs - to be honest, you'll probably do much better than me, I'm just weirdly sensitive to withdrawals sometimes! I'm always here if you need any advice on anything. Not that I'm a doctor, of course.

shagatha crustie

  • Hung a star in the book of liars by your name
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #62 on: November 17, 2020, 09:34:44 AM »
Very much so. Back in the spring I felt completely deflated, depressed and sluggish; this time round I don't feel that same dull pessimism, but now I can't focus on fuck all and I just keep pacing, flicking between tabs of news stories, and checking my phone (although the latter is partly to check up on friends who I know are struggling). Hoping I snap out of it before work realise how little I'm getting done.

Thanks for the validation, I'm sure we're not the only ones! Agree 100% on the checking up on friends stuff - I feel like in the absence of face-to-face communication (I live alone), messaging with friends to feel sane and connected and human is taking up a lot of my time. But WhatsApp is also a channel I use for work, so the work-life boundaries have become very blurred in my brain.

George Oscar Bluth II

  • Karma: +69 / -420
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #63 on: November 17, 2020, 10:14:26 AM »
Cycling in to werk has been mostly good, but there are good days and bad days. Days when I get in feeling really awake and refreshed, and days when I have an asthma attack and arrive feeling like my legs are about to drop off.

The second part of this does not apply to me but I've fucking loved cycling to work. I know my area so much better than I did, it feels good to exercise and I find myself looking forward to days "in" work because "I get to cycle". And on days when I don't go on I take half an hour at lunch to zip around, it's great!

(Disclaimer: does not apply if the weather is shite)

Blue Jam

  • Proper Billy Bonkers
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #64 on: November 17, 2020, 11:22:59 AM »
A big problem for me is that cycling on roads still really frightens me. See the "Driving away from an RTA" thread. Did once cycle to Portobello Beach when I finished work early though, that was nice.

No probs - to be honest, you'll probably do much better than me, I'm just weirdly sensitive to withdrawals sometimes! I'm always here if you need any advice on anything. Not that I'm a doctor, of course.

Again, big thanks. I didn't have a problem with fluoxetine as it has a long half-life and as I just got The Dreaded Prozac Poop-Out it just gradually stopped working so there was no withdrawal to speak of. With Mirtazapine I got "brain zaps" and while they weren't pleasant I just found them more of a mild distraction than anything. Venlafaxine though has been really nasty- properly violent projectile vomiting on an empty stomach and then feeling too ill to do anything but sleep for the rest of the day. When I do remember to take it I still have to deal with erratic digestion, wanting to sleep all the time and waking up with damp hair because I've had the night sweats again. Thought I was getting hot flushes from perimenopause for a while and the sweating at work has been getting really embarrassing, with people asking if I'm ill and probably hoping I haven't got fever symptoms from the 'rona.

Just had a phone consultation with my GP who has agreed that we should go for a 75% reduction in the dose, then go down to 50% if that works out. I have also been reliably informed that doggie nail clippers work better than any pill-cutter you can get from a pharmacy. Might try out the ones I have for my hooman nails first.

Big thanks again.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2020, 11:49:12 AM by Blue Jam »

Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #65 on: November 17, 2020, 11:31:05 AM »
Yep I'm terrified of cycling. I used to use a foot-powered scooter that you might associate with children to get to work, because you can use it on the pavements. It kept me fit!

Blue Jam

  • Proper Billy Bonkers
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #66 on: November 17, 2020, 11:32:45 AM »
At least two of my colleagues scooter to work, I have been tempted to try it myself!

George Oscar Bluth II

  • Karma: +69 / -420
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #67 on: November 17, 2020, 11:39:01 AM »
I should add, I'm very lucky to live at one end and work at the other end of one of those cycle routes they have now. Write to your councilors, tell them you want room for cycling, tell them to tell drivers to get fucked.

Blue Jam

  • Proper Billy Bonkers
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #68 on: November 18, 2020, 10:43:10 PM »
Venlafaxine Withdrawal Day 3: Decided to see if I could get by on 50% of my usual dose. Nope, started feeling shaky and sweaty and needed another quarter pill. Not feeling half as bad I expected to yet, just got a bit of a headache and feeling tired as I typed. The 75% dose hasn't made me puke so that's good.

Also just watched a programme in which a dog died and as my eyes wetted I realised I may have become a bit more emotional than normal. I'm soppy for dogs at the best of times but fuck's sake, not this soppy. Think I need a big fuck-off stack of feelgood films.

Blue Jam

  • Proper Billy Bonkers
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #69 on: November 18, 2020, 10:50:05 PM »
I should add, I'm very lucky to live at one end and work at the other end of one of those cycle routes they have now. Write to your councilors, tell them you want room for cycling, tell them to tell drivers to get fucked.

I suppose I'm lucky my commute takes in two national parks, but they're hilly ones and I'm not used to cycling up hills at all. The last time I did a lot of cycling was in London which is a lot flatter than Edinburgh. I'm a lot fitter than I was six months ago but progress has still been infuriatingly slow.

Blue Jam

  • Proper Billy Bonkers
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #70 on: November 25, 2020, 12:35:25 PM »
Hope the venlafaxine withdrawal goes OK for you. If you want a few tips, I'd recommend asking for some anti-emetics from your GP (cyclizine works for some folk, not for me, and prochlorperazine works fine), keep the lights low, and don't move your head too much. And stock up on paracetamol.

Just wanted to say this has all been very useful, thanks. Down to 50% of my usual dose now (so I'm now on 37.5mg). Not out of the woods yet but hoping to be clean and serene by Christmas.

I forgot to ask my GP for some antiemetics but the nausea hasn't been too bad. The worst thing has been the tiredness, the headaches and the brain fog, and keeping the lights low and getting lots of rest has really helped for that. Paracetamol for the flu-like symptoms has been good and I have been staying hydrated which seems to be helping. I've had a few hot flushes and outbreaks of sweating but my little desk fan has been good for that.

I have also lost 1.5 kilos without even trying so that's a bonus. I didn't want to blame the drugs for my weight gain as it felt like making a lame excuse but I haven't been eating less and I've actually been exercising less and sleeping more so there must be something to it. Venlafaxine may be good for depression but I found it far more depressing to catch glimpses of myself in the mirrors at work and see myself getting increasingly Stuart Bingham-shaped.

Thanks again CG!

canadagoose

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  • inoperable brain bum hole
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #71 on: November 27, 2020, 04:20:50 PM »
Just wanted to say this has all been very useful, thanks. Down to 50% of my usual dose now (so I'm now on 37.5mg). Not out of the woods yet but hoping to be clean and serene by Christmas.

I forgot to ask my GP for some antiemetics but the nausea hasn't been too bad. The worst thing has been the tiredness, the headaches and the brain fog, and keeping the lights low and getting lots of rest has really helped for that. Paracetamol for the flu-like symptoms has been good and I have been staying hydrated which seems to be helping. I've had a few hot flushes and outbreaks of sweating but my little desk fan has been good for that.

I have also lost 1.5 kilos without even trying so that's a bonus. I didn't want to blame the drugs for my weight gain as it felt like making a lame excuse but I haven't been eating less and I've actually been exercising less and sleeping more so there must be something to it. Venlafaxine may be good for depression but I found it far more depressing to catch glimpses of myself in the mirrors at work and see myself getting increasingly Stuart Bingham-shaped.

Thanks again CG!
Hey, I'm glad you're getting there. I had forgotten about the venlafaxine/weight gain thing - I didn't see much of an effect when I came off it, but that was probably me just comfort eating or something. I'm sure you'll get to 0mg yet!

Glebe

  • Are you so blind that you cannot see?
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #72 on: November 27, 2020, 04:52:07 PM »
Keep up the good work Bluey. And hugs to all!

Blue Jam

  • Proper Billy Bonkers
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #73 on: December 12, 2020, 03:28:36 PM »
Sorry to turn this into a venlafaxine thread, but I have been steadily reducing my dose with the use of a pill cutter, cutting the tablets into halves, then quarters, then eights and taking less and less every day, then just taking a little piece whenever the withdrawal symptoms got particularly bad.

Took my last little dose early on Thursday. Now been clean and serene for two days. Had really severe brain zaps and a bit of a headache yesterday, got the same again today but milder, hoping there's a pattern emerging here. No nausea at all now and that was the thing that was really stressing me out, the projectile vomiting at werk was not my finest hour.

Also I haven't been tempted to take anymore venlafaxine as I just want to be rid of it and just want to sweat this out and have nothing to do with this nasty drug ever again. I guess that means I don't have an addictive personality, which is nice to know even if I am a pisshead.

Incidentally one of the things which dampens the brain zaps is booze. I doubt my GP would recommend that but it's working for me. There's also lying down in a darkened room keeping very still and trying not to move my eyes too much, that's helping a lot.

Sorry to be turning this into a venlafaxine thread, just wanted to share that. I was also wondering if anyone knows a healthier way to deal with brain zaps, or how to manage recurring depressive episodes without drugs. I'm not one of these "You don't need antidepressants, just eat healthily and do lots of exercise" types, far from it, but I've never liked being dependent on pills to function and would like to be free of that worry forever.

Thanks for the kind words everyone! How are YOU all doing?

H-O-W-L

  • Front Toward Enemy
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #74 on: December 12, 2020, 07:14:42 PM »
Been off work for four weeks with anxiety/depression. Put in a request to the doctor's over the weekend for another two. Should I feel bad about this, since it's over the Christmas season and obv will mean my colleagues will take the brunt while I don't? Don't know what to feel about it, but I don't feel ready to return.

Glebe

  • Are you so blind that you cannot see?
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #75 on: December 12, 2020, 07:17:38 PM »
Be good to yourself H-O-W-L. Relax and enjoy Christmas, you deserve it mate.

H-O-W-L

  • Front Toward Enemy
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #76 on: December 12, 2020, 07:23:37 PM »
Always the risk I can be dismissed but it's a minwage retail job and frankly I just can't be arsed if they dismiss me or not at this point. The job spiralled very negatively by the end so it might do me a mercy if they sack me and make me get out of my cubby of complacency.

Blue Jam

  • Proper Billy Bonkers
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #77 on: December 12, 2020, 08:32:30 PM »
Started feeling shit again around 4pm and took some paracetamol. That helped, then it wore off and I took some more around 8pm. Feel alright again now. canadagoose, thanks so much for that tip, got plenty of paracetamol in and it's really helped.

Just noticed I've got pinpoint eyes now though! Is that normal? Christ I really hate feeling like a fucking junkie.

Blue Jam

  • Proper Billy Bonkers
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #78 on: December 12, 2020, 08:41:17 PM »
Been off work for four weeks with anxiety/depression. Put in a request to the doctor's over the weekend for another two. Should I feel bad about this, since it's over the Christmas season and obv will mean my colleagues will take the brunt while I don't?

If you can't work you can't work, no point in feeling guilty, although I realise that it's also perfectly normal to feel guilty, so you shouldn't beat yourself up about it if you do. What you feel is what you feel, it isn't wrong, just go with it.

When I got signed off from my previous job with anxiety I genuinely could not give a fuck about my colleagues because they were a shower of bastards, and while I knew my boss was in a major panic about my absence and really struggling without me there ahead of a major deadline he was a lazy meek ineffectual twat who fucking asked for it and then had the nerve to ask if I could come in to work out of hours, against doctor's orders, so I didn't give a fuck about him either.

Hmmmm, sorry, that little rant wasn't very helpful was it? I understand that it's normal for people with nice colleagues to feel guilty even if it should be perfectly acceptable to feel otherwise and put all their efforts into looking after Number One.

Also it would be illegal to sack you on health grounds, but legal aid for tribunals has been scrapped by those lovely Tories so that's not something most bosses worry about now.

I wish I had some practical advice for you HOWL, other than look after yourself *hug*. Anxiety is a fucker and workplaces still don't handle it very well.

canadagoose

  • Member
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  • inoperable brain bum hole
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #79 on: December 12, 2020, 09:38:48 PM »
Started feeling shit again around 4pm and took some paracetamol. That helped, then it wore off and I took some more around 8pm. Feel alright again now. canadagoose, thanks so much for that tip, got plenty of paracetamol in and it's really helped.

Just noticed I've got pinpoint eyes now though! Is that normal? Christ I really hate feeling like a fucking junkie.
It's a bastard, isn't it? I think you must be getting to the end of withdrawal, so that's something. I can't say I noticed the eye thing, but I've had eye pain, a "noise" (perceived noise, I suppose) from moving my eyes, difficulty focussing, all that stuff, so it's certainly possible. All the best for the last leg of the Bastard SNRI Withdrawal x

Blue Jam

  • Proper Billy Bonkers
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #80 on: December 12, 2020, 09:42:31 PM »
a "noise" (perceived noise, I suppose) from moving my eyes

Oh my god, I've got this now! A kind of ringing in my ears when I move my eyes. I thought I was going mad!

I really do think I'm through the worst of it now though, big thanks again for all your tips xxx

H-O-W-L

  • Front Toward Enemy
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #81 on: December 15, 2020, 02:47:19 PM »
Booked in for a fitnote extension with my GP, and apparently it can take up to 7 days for a consultation??? I was due back at work on Wednesday and I called the reception of my surgery and said that I needed info for my employer and the receptionist all but told me to tell my employer to fuck off. Not sure what to think. I called in and told my manager this and she was like "ah, alright, just keep us updated". So... I'm fine not to go in tomorrow? Don't know what to feel. Written the job off to be honest, but would rather not wake up mid-afternoon to a bunch of "WHERE ARE YOU CUNT" calls.

H-O-W-L

  • Front Toward Enemy
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #82 on: December 15, 2020, 02:52:06 PM »
Legitimately been more stressed out in the last 24 hours about this shit than I have in the weeks leading up to it because fuck fuck cunty bastard.

Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #83 on: December 15, 2020, 03:01:16 PM »
My cholesterol and blood pressure is too high, as well as some liver enzyme that indicates damage, and they were too high a year ago too. And my BMI. It was all within healthy bounds until I started working from home, and now I'm dying at 32 from being a lazy fatass. Gotta start moving around a bit more!

At least this all got caught at an early stage. I would be inclined to blame drink, but I used to drink way more and the liver enzyme was well within healthy ranges. The obvious difference is that I used to zoom around on a foot-powered scooter or walk around all over the place, and now the most walking I do is around Tesco.

bgmnts

  • Depressed to the point of poisonous toxicity.
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #84 on: December 15, 2020, 03:04:07 PM »
My cholesterol and blood pressure is too high, as well as some liver enzyme that indicates damage, and they were too high a year ago too. And my BMI. It was all within healthy bounds until I started working from home, and now I'm dying at 32 from being a lazy fatass. Gotta start moving around a bit more!

Doesn't working from home give you more time to exercise?

Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #85 on: December 15, 2020, 03:08:05 PM »
Doesn't working from home give you more time to exercise?

Exercise used to just be part of my regular habits and there was no avoiding it. I would use a foot-powered scooter to get to and from work and to get my lunch and it amounted to over an hour of relatively strenuous exercise five days a week. Also I didn't have a child back then either.

Blue Jam

  • Proper Billy Bonkers
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #86 on: December 15, 2020, 03:24:39 PM »
Day 5 of being clean and serene and free from venlafaxine. I have spent most of the past five days in bed which I'm not proud of but today I managed to get up a bit earlier for a Zoom meet for werk, just have a little nap, and I've just popped out to a nice cafe for a peppermint tea and a read of a biography of everyone's favourite pisshead Norn Iron snookerist. Still feeling a bit dizzy and like I could fall over if I'm not careful but I managed a nice little walk, the headache and brain zaps are getting milder, the brain fog is gone and I'm feeling more normal than I have in ages.

Also I just walked past my old department at the central campus and a very amusing preacher shouting in Geordie: "Yer've all got yer science degrees, yer all professors and that, yer've got yer atoms and yer molecules like, but yer don't naw Jesus..." That certainly filled me with joy but possibly not for the reasons the guy intended.

Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #87 on: December 15, 2020, 04:16:38 PM »
Today is the first day I’ve cried about all this. The thought of having a Christmas without seeing my parents and siblings and my daughters not seeing their cousins is too much to bear... even though I recognise that loosening restrictions at this time seems incredibly reckless.

Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #88 on: December 15, 2020, 06:28:21 PM »
I have just realised how incredibly self centred my previous post is!

bgmnts

  • Depressed to the point of poisonous toxicity.
Re: CaB Group Hug - it's ok to feel like shit
« Reply #89 on: December 15, 2020, 06:35:13 PM »
You know its a rough time when your emotional support peacock needs emotional support.

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