Cooking questions

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Make it at home.

This has been ruled out. Ruled right out, in fact.

I will go as far as pummelling some cumin and coriander seeds.

[Twit 2]

YOU MUST GO FURTHER

OUT OF YOUR WOMB

[Sebastian Cobb]

I find rajah and heera to be fine.

[Sebastian Cobb]

This has been ruled out. Ruled right out, in fact.

I will go as far as pummelling some cumin and coriander seeds.

Just get a leccy coffee grinder. I've never bothered to make garam, but a quick google says I could as I have more-or-less all the not very esoteric spices kicking about, you probably do too.

[Urinal Cake]

You can do both but put less in at the end- they give off different flavours. With onions it's more base-y, at the end it's more fragrant-y and thickens the gravy a bit more.

Instead of grinding it at home- buy pre-ground corriander, cumin etc. and mix it yourself and create a garam masala to your own tastes. But aromatic spices such as cinammon, cloves etc really should be ground when you need them. If you want to grind spices use a coffee/spice grinder.

[jake thunder]

Brown it

[jobotic]

Bird it

[Gregory Torso]

Put my thang down flip it and reverse it

[steve98]

Lose the tofu, use toffee.

[steve98]

I'd recommend McGowans Highland - Creamy with just the right amount of bite.

[Buelligan]

And consider what the tofu is bringing.  I don't include it in anything because, for me anyway, it gives nothing at all to a dish, whereas the sweet spiciness of a carrot or sweet potato, the texture and open fragrance of a potato, the bite of a bean, the tender sugar pop of a pea, these give variety and their own particular qualities to harmonise and dramatise, the music of the sauce base.  Life is like a box of chocolates, choose a mixed selection of centres that compliment each other, not a box of wax facsimiles.  Obviously, if you like tofu, ignore this.

[idunnosomename]

cum in

EURRRRRGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

EURRRRRGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Make your own kind of music
Strum your own kind of schlong
Rake a puddle of cow sick
That's the only remaining way you can cum

[Buelligan]

[Twit 2]

And consider what the tofu is bringing.  I don't include it in anything because, for me anyway, it gives nothing at all to a dish, whereas the sweet spiciness of a carrot or sweet potato, the texture and open fragrance of a potato, the bite of a bean, the tender sugar pop of a pea, these give variety and their own particular qualities to harmonise and dramatise, the music of the sauce base.  Life is like a box of chocolates, choose a mixed selection of centres that compliment each other, not a box of wax facsimiles.  Obviously, if you like tofu, ignore this.

https://ottolenghi.co.uk/recipes/black-pepper-tofu-a

[bgmnts]

Tofu is actually great. It really soaks up flavour and is nice when fried and especially nice scrambled.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I'd use paneer over tofu in curry but I believe you might be a vegan (get you mixed up with blodders sometimes innit) so perhaps that's out.

I made this tofu thing for the first time recently, it was delicious but I think I overcooked the tofu a little as I've no experience of cooking it https://www.theguardian.com/food/2019/apr/20/meera-sodha-recipe-tofu-sweet-soy-greens-kecap-manis

[king_tubby]

https://ottolenghi.co.uk/recipes/black-pepper-tofu-a

I beg of you reduce the amount of black pepper in this. First time I made it I halved it, and it still blew me tits right off.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I beg of you reduce the amount of black pepper in this. First time I made it I halved it, and it still blew me tits right off.

I bought a thing for making crisps in the microwave, basically a carousel to put individual slices in and a very cheap and nasty mandolin for cutting them. Been making some great salt and slightly too much pepper crisps, onion powder sounds grim but is actually nice.

[bgmnts]

I'd use paneer over tofu in curry but I believe you might be a vegan (get you mixed up with blodders sometimes innit) so perhaps that's out.

I made this tofu thing for the first time recently, it was delicious but I think I overcooked the tofu a little as I've no experience of cooking it https://www.theguardian.com/food/2019/apr/20/meera-sodha-recipe-tofu-sweet-soy-greens-kecap-manis

Tofu is actually a decent substitute for paneer for me.

[Buelligan]

https://ottolenghi.co.uk/recipes/black-pepper-tofu-a

Not my cup at all, I'm afraid.  Far too much oil and garlic and chilli and sugar and so on.  Lovely if you like those sorts of things but this is Wagner, I'm a Bach type, maybe some Albinoni if it's fresh.

[Jittlebags]

Did you caramelise the onions before adding coconut milk and tofu?  How about dry or oil frying spices for half a minute at the very start to release the volatiles.  Also it's worth having a seasoning session 'to taste' towards the of the cooking, the following being in your armoury: salt, pepper, sugar, souring agent - either lemon juice or tamarind.

If I'm doing curries I normally have a 'base sauce' of fried pureed onions, garlic, ginger and tomato in small servings in the freezer to add depth.

[Jittlebags]

Oh, and seeing as it's not a specifically curry thread, something else worth making in a big batch then freezing is sofritto, which is finely chopped carrots, onions and celery, gently fried down in olive oil, maybe with a bay leaf thrown in. Ideal for adding depth to pasta sauces

[Dex Sawash]

Replace tofu with cauliflower

[Dex Sawash]

Ragout it to fuck

[Twit 2]

I beg of you reduce the amount of black pepper in this. First time I made it I halved it, and it still blew me tits right off.

Depends on your heat tolerance I suppose.

[steve98]

And the integrity of your tits.

"You weren't supposed to blow me bleedin' tits off!"

[idunnosomename]

you were only supposed to blow the bloody nipples off!

[Captain Z]

For that authentic restaurant flavour you need some flakes of Pepsi-boiled crab.

[thenoise]

For that takeaway flavour:
Sugar (fuckload)
Salt (fuckload)
Hydrogenated vegetable fat. This is the stuff that comes in white plastic drums that pile up in the bins behind takeaways. The least healthy fat by far, this shit makes lard look like a fucking superfood. (fuckload)
MSG (to taste)

If it's still rank add more salt, you probably didn't add enough.