Cooking questions

[flotemysost]

Because it's a korma?

+1 korma

The only curry I've attempted to make in my life (an admittedly mild tomato-based paneer affair) ended up more of a creamy stew without a hint of heat. I am fucking rubbish at being half Indian, I would like to sort this out and learn how to make a banging curry at some point so I appreciate all the tips here.

[bgmnts]

It turned into a genuinely lovely generic tasting homemade creamy curry in the end. Quite happy with it but not the korma I was hoping for. How do you get it to look like that yellow liquid mush you get from the curryhouse?

[Dex Sawash]

Turmeric x3 or more

[pcsjwgm]

For that takeaway flavour:
Sugar (fuckload)
Salt (fuckload)
Hydrogenated vegetable fat. This is the stuff that comes in white plastic drums that pile up in the bins behind takeaways. The least healthy fat by far, this shit makes lard look like a fucking superfood. (fuckload)
MSG (to taste)

And a jet engine flame to achieve wok hei for stir-fried food. Though J. Kenji Lopez-Alt claims you can replicate that flavour by using a blowtorch (haven't tried it yet): https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/04/dining/stir-fry-recipe-wok-hei.html

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

a dash of NUTMEG

[Icehaven]

For that takeaway flavour:
Sugar (fuckload)
Salt (fuckload)
Hydrogenated vegetable fat. This is the stuff that comes in white plastic drums that pile up in the bins behind takeaways. The least healthy fat by far, this shit makes lard look like a fucking superfood. (fuckload)
MSG (to taste)

If it's still rank add more salt, you probably didn't add enough.

I've read more than one restaurant critic who raves about a place's potato dish like mash or gratin etc., before admitting it's so nice because it's basically more butter than potato.

[Urinal Cake]

I've read more than one restaurant critic who raves about a place's mashed potato before admitting it's so nice because it's basically more butter than potato.

Probably Robuchon's mash which was half butter and half potato.

[poo]

No way does anycunt on here make a better ragu than me. No way.

[dissolute ocelot]

I've read more than one restaurant critic who raves about a place's potato dish like mash or gratin etc., before admitting it's so nice because it's basically more butter than potato.

There's a vegetarian Indian restaurant in Edinburgh (Kalpna) where all the dishes are basically 1/2 cream, 1/2 butter, and throw in a carrot or something.

[TrenterPercenter]

I made some jiaozi (chinese dumplings) the other day.  I did the classic pork and cabbage but you could pretty much throw anything in there and make them vegetarian in a pinch (just put in some extra mushroom for body).

I made the wrappers myself which is just flour and warm water, you need to get them quite thing when rolling them out but if there if they are a bit dough it isn't the end of the world.  It's really therapeutic shaping them.

fry then or boil them (or fry and then steam them in the pan is a good way).

Dipping sauce is then where it is at and you need to get that black vinegar stuff (i reckon you could get  away with rice wine or white wine tbh) soy sauce, chilli oil and pepper.

[pancreas]

No way does anycunt on here make a better ragu than me. No way.

what cut of meat pls

[poo]

what cut of meat pls

Beef

[sirhenry]

what cut of meat pls

Minced beef steak/minced beef depending on which supermarket you go to. More words = more cost for the same thing[nb]Works for all foodstuffs.[/nb]

Dipping sauce is then where it is at and you need to get that black vinegar stuff (i reckon you could get  away with rice wine or white wine tbh) soy sauce, chilli oil and pepper.

Or dark soy, sesame oil and a bit of shredded ginger.

[pancreas]

Beef

You use shin, I hope. You'd better use shin. Let me put it this way: from now on, you use shin ok.

[pancreas]

Minced beef steak/minced beef depending on which supermarket you go to. More words = more cost for the same thing[nb]Works for all foodstuffs.[/nb]
Or dark soy, sesame oil and a bit of shredded ginger.

shin is one word. A word which can be broken, if you get my drift.

[poo]

You use shin, I hope. You'd better use shin. Let me put it this way: from now on, you use shin ok.

If you really knew your ragu, your first question would be about the tomatoes, not the meat. Instantly rumbled.

[Emma Raducanu]

And for true pleasure the shin must still have the bone running through it. God I love that bone. He said.

[poo]

If u got a shin you'd osso bucco the cunt, not waste it in a poncified ragu.

[Twit 2]

Minced beef steak/minced beef depending on which supermarket you go to. More words = more cost for the same thing

This is bollocks.

If you really knew your ragu, your first question would be about the tomatoes, not the meat. Instantly rumbled.

This is bollocks.

If u got a shin you'd osso bucco the cunt.

This is Italian for arsehole bollocks.[nb]Bollocks, in that of course you can use shin in a ragu. Standard Tuscan fare. [/nb]

[poo]

up yours

[itsfredtitmus]

whats wrong with rustlers ya cunts

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

There used to be an incredibly involved ragu recipe floating around the internet. Wasn't on a proper recipes website, it was just on some Italian guy's page I think. Definitely remember that included a bit of (chicken?) liver. Anybody know what I'm talking about?

[Twit 2]

The late mook posted one such recipe here, complete with photos and the verb "smoosh".

[Ferris]

Fenugreek is your friend

Probably the best spice going, criminally underrated, not even joking.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I believe mook's recipe was for pheasant ragu. Perhaps it involved chicken livers. I believe the Bolognese ragu hometown style uses liver in theirs.

Anyway, I remember, possibly falsely, that his visual guide to preparation seemed to involve pans filled with blood and bile, pools of excreta, like the medieval humors.

[thenoise]

If you really knew your ragu, your first question would be about the tomatoes, not the meat. Instantly rumbled.

Ok then what brand of tinned tomatoes do you use?

[wooders1978]

Anything with D.O.P on it and you're generally ok (san marzano) - rega is my fave

[Twit 2]

I believe mook's recipe was for pheasant ragu.

It was a mixture of meats, as a ragu should be. Supermarket mince indeed. Sigh.

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,47928.msg2536083.html#msg2536083

[sirhenry]

what cut of meat pls

As you can see from the above, none of the posters here know what meat(s) to use. So you may as well stick to minced beef as that's what all the top recipes ask for.

When it comes to cooking, all those 'secret ingredients' just make dishes worse. If they were an improvement, the decades/centuries of development would have made them common knowledge - it's not as if people don't constantly experiment/make do with recipes.

[TrenterPercenter]

It was a mixture of meats, as a ragu should be. Supermarket mince indeed. Sigh.

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,47928.msg2536083.html#msg2536083

Ha! What a tit, all that bother and then "and a dried chilli".  Fucking useless.