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Ron

Started by holyzombiejesus, November 20, 2020, 11:56:10 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

JamesTC

"I didn't do it" as Ron's hero Bart Simpson once said.

Bazooka

He doesn't go to sleep when they go to bed at 9:30, he lays there, eyes locked open listening to the grandfather clock tick away his wait before he scuttles down, and injects his shriveled baby shrew like pecker with dandelion and burdock to give it a jolt, ready for his lust to run rampant.

Sherringford Hovis

Quote from: Hand Solo on November 23, 2020, 06:41:38 PM
So is Ron dead or not, I'm confused now?

Schrödinger's fap.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Bazooka on November 24, 2020, 01:13:57 AM
He doesn't go to sleep when they go to bed at 9:30, he lays there, eyes locked open listening to the grandfather clock tick away his wait before he scuttles down, and injects his shriveled baby shrew like pecker with dandelion and burdock to give it a jolt, ready for his lust to run rampant.

That was over half a decade ago, imagine what it looks like now. Gangrenous yet still tumescent. Unable to ejaculate, tears and fists...tears and fists.

touchingcloth

Quote from: idunnosomename on November 24, 2020, 12:33:03 AM
god ive seen this years ago but this is the best photo of the lot



i mean. fucking hell. this chintz.




Pack of oranges suspiciously placed under the telly. "I stick one in me gob before having a Milligan Special," said Ron, with a wink. But it wasn't his face he was winking from.

steve98

A quarter bottle of champers for that (not particularly special) special occasion.

Bazooka

You may notice the Hear,See,Speak no Evil monkeys next to the Bart bust, oh they saw and heard evil on those nights thats for sure.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Bazooka on November 24, 2020, 08:44:15 AM
You may notice the Hear,See,Speak no Evil monkeys next to the Bart bust, oh they saw and heard evil on those nights thats for sure.

And on the other side of Bart is a little objet I like to call "Park Bench Toss Off".

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: Bazooka on November 24, 2020, 08:44:15 AM
You may notice the Hear,See,Speak no Evil monkeys next to the Bart bust, oh they saw and heard evil on those nights thats for sure.

And on the shelf above them, a very badly made R2D2 and C3PO.

Looks like they bought a lot of tat from the ads in the sunday supplements.

Sebastian Cobb

Part of me still thinks it's a hasty construction for a press shot. With all the tat, the hastily plumbed in cable box under a tv at a weird angle and lots of CD's but apparently nothing to play them on.

idunnosomename

It looks like a British Heart Foundation shop

dead-ced-dead

Notice as well the un-drunk cup of tea to punctuate the shot, which at that point (after waiting for however long to get their tat in order and for the photographers to set up) must be stone cold.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on November 24, 2020, 11:14:19 AM
Part of me still thinks it's a hasty construction for a press shot. With all the tat, the hastily plumbed in cable box under a tv at a weird angle and lots of CD's but apparently nothing to play them on.

I agree, but not to the extent that they would have connected the TV any differently. I reckon everything was as in the picture just with the sofa facing the telly rather than at right angles to it, then the photographer shoved to sofa so that they could get Virgin AND Ron's guilty face in the same shot.

Funnier to imagine Ron's perpendicular tugs, tho.

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: dead-ced-dead on November 24, 2020, 11:52:11 AM
Notice as well the un-drunk cup of tea to punctuate the shot

Ron's wife brought him that while he was mid-tug.

Quote from: touchingcloth on November 24, 2020, 12:05:14 PM
the sofa facing the telly rather than at right angles to it

Defiantly, that's a lockable door (possibly the front door) that opens inwards making it awkward to enter the room with the sofa in that position.

dead-ced-dead

Quote from: JesusAndYourBush on November 24, 2020, 12:08:38 PM
Ron's wife brought him that while he was mid-tug.

Funnily enough, it was black tea and now it seems milky.

idunnosomename

If you're going on this is a deep state conspiracy then they had to remake the set when the story came up a second time

Butchers Blind

We're through the looking glass here people.

Ambient Sheep

#78
The other thought that occurred to me when I first saw that picture is that maybe the sofa is just for guests, and they have a pair of armchairs facing the TV near where the camera person is standing.

That's how my parents' living-room worked for years... only not with the TV on the wall, obviously.

Quote from: Ambient Sheep on November 24, 2020, 12:56:01 PM
The other thought that occurred to me when I first saw that picture is that maybe the sofa is just for guests, and they have a pair of armchairs facing the TV near where the camera person is standing.

That's how my parents' living-room worked for years... only not with the TV on the well, obviously.

Yeah, my parents were like that. And my grand parents. They'd never sit together on a sofa, always separate armchairs. Cosy never seemed to come into it.

When I was house hunting, we came across some bungalows that completely defied belief in terms of layout and decor, mainly because old people can't be arsed/are too frail to move anything, so they just let tradespeople and installers put stuff in the most convenient empty spot and try to work around it.

The telephone wiring in the place we bought was the stuff of nightmares to the point where the Openreach man had to do a risk assessment before he'd even think about putting our broadband in. And the less said about the gas fire they installed in a bedroom rather than upgrading their pipework to allow the central heating to reach the far end of the house, the better.

idunnosomename

Im just imagining the tv falling off the wall and absolutely everything falling over and being smashed while they just sit there motionless watching it at an awkward angle

dead-ced-dead

Quote from: idunnosomename on November 24, 2020, 01:21:07 PM
Im just imagining the tv falling off the wall and absolutely everything falling over and being smashed while Ron is midway through wanking himself to death, his neck cranked to the right, his eyes bulging with ecstasy.

FTFY

idunnosomename

well I am imagining that now, yes

Ferris

I'm a Ron-Truther.

The facts are out there - educate yourself, sheeple. Don't blindly believe what Virgin Media tell you about their so-called "records and facts" or the two previous times the exact same thing happened at Ron's house.

Ask yourself - who stands to gain here? And what's really going on?

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: Ambient Sheep on November 24, 2020, 12:56:01 PM
The other thought that occurred to me when I first saw that picture is that maybe the sofa is just for guests

It's Ron's special 'wanking sofa'.


Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on November 24, 2020, 01:55:34 PM
...And what's really going on?

Wanking.  Lots of wanking.

JamesTC

One thing I didn't pick up about this news story until now. It is apparently 2404 hours of grot that was watched. Ron's 100 day porn binge.

You can tell how proud he is in this picture.


Mrs Hayward added: 'If we lived in a big house with a big family then maybe I could understand it, as you couldn't know what was happening in every room.'

She's right. If she lived in a big house then maybe 100 days of porn would be perfectly reasonable.

Also enjoyed reading comments on the news story between gullible idiots blaming Virgin:
QuoteTheir telly is in a daft position, they look uncomfortable, they're looking upwards and sideways. They should just stick a picture on the wall and put their telly on a stand on the floor.

QuoteAND, if you never watch porn, simply why have it enabled in the first place?

QuoteMy bed bound grandmother who also has dementia had this happen to her on a few occasions


idunnosomename

Pop round your bed-bound nans to have a cheeky tug to premium grot when the careworker's not there

boki

What if Ron's innocent and it was Mrs Ron getting her grot on?

dead-ced-dead

The Roger Moore raised eyebrow kills me here:



Also, this goes deeper than Ron. This also happened to "David Mills", but it wasn't for grot, it was for Sky Sports that he "never paid for"

https://www.gazette-news.co.uk/news/15621898.pay-to-get-rid-of-sky-sports-im-not-even-into-it/


JesusAndYourBush

Ah, I never knew it was 100 days, I assumed he'd just watched one film and was objecting to paying a small £3 or whatever pay per view fee on principle.  This puts a new slant on things!