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Serious lyrics that you find funny

Started by holyzombiejesus, November 21, 2020, 12:03:03 AM

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holyzombiejesus

There may well have been a recent thread in a similar vein to this but I was listening to Blood on the Tracks on my ipod today and there was a line in Idiot Wind that made me laugh out loud.

QuoteI haven't known peace and quiet
For so long I can't remember what it's like

It's just so much like a dad whinge.

QuoteWhat are all these lights doing on
It's like Crystal Palace in here

I guess we can include hymns. I remember my friend Annabelle snorting with laughter at our friend's mum's funeral at the 'purple headed mountains' line in All Things Bright and Beautiful.

There is of course the Oasis classic..

"What's sleeping in our souls"

Menu

"Great Britain you are tremendous
And nobody knows like me
But really what are you doin'
In the land across the sea"

Paul McCartney kickstarts the Northern Ireland peace process.

<tremendous>

Catalogue Trousers

'While American businessmen snap up Van Goghs for the price of a hospital wing' - Del Amitri, Nothing Ever Happens.

The famous purchase which inspired this incredibly serious and important lyric was made by a Japanese consortium. It was for one Van Gogh painting - arguably his most famous, Sunflowers. And, while its cost of approx £30,000,000 in 1996 would probably buy, build and equip a decent hospital wing, I still find it a remarkably pompous and inane lyric. So there.

Jockice

The entirety of Profit In Peace by Ocean Colour Scene. Especially the lines about those who've lost their feet and hands not wanting to fight no more. And those who've got a tired face also not wanting to fight no more.

They probably thought they were writing a modern version of Give Peace A Chance as well. Which is why they nicked the tune. Bless.

PaulTMA

Quote from: Excellent_Biscuits on November 21, 2020, 12:26:58 AM
There is of course the Oasis classic..

"What's sleeping in our souls"

"How does it feel when you're inside me?"

grainger

Quote from: holyzombiejesus on November 21, 2020, 12:03:03 AM
I guess we can include hymns. I remember my friend Annabelle snorting with laughter at our friend's mum's funeral at the 'purple headed mountains' line in All Things Bright and Beautiful.

All Things Bright is just hilarious. Not just due to the "logic" that Stewart Lee took the piss out of, but because it's just so interminably long, an endless, plodding list. So in this case it's not so much an individual line, but the totality of awfulness. It was selected at one of my relative's funerals, and you could just feel time slow for the duration of the track. I suspect that even the person who chose it was begging for it to end, as we reached the millionth verse and were only a quarter of the way through.

grainger

Quote from: Catalogue Trousers on November 22, 2020, 12:02:12 AM
'While American businessmen snap up Van Goghs for the price of a hospital wing' - Del Amitri, Nothing Ever Happens.

The famous purchase which inspired this incredibly serious and important lyric was made by a Japanese consortium. It was for one Van Gogh painting - arguably his most famous, Sunflowers. And, while its cost of approx £30,000,000 in 1996 would probably buy, build and equip a decent hospital wing, I still find it a remarkably pompous and inane lyric. So there.

If that's the real lyric, verbatim, then it's just terribly written, regardless of sentiment.

grainger

All of Candle in the Wind the is obvious one.

grainger

Busta Rhymes:

"Marvellous finances provided by Joseph Mobutu
Special guests of honour like the Archbishop Desmond Tutu"

(in Fugees, Rumble in the Jungle)

I really enjoy this part of the track, because it always brings a smile to my face. It's the combo of "Marvellous", the use of "finances" and then the word "tutu" said with much intensity.

grainger

Kung Fu Fighting is another obvious one. OK, it's a light-hearted song, but the oft-quoted "little bit frightening" bit doesn't seem intentionally funny (it's surely meant to be taken at face value). I remember Frank Skinner gently taking the piss out of it in a Carl Douglas interview, and Douglas looking not very happy about it (but my memory might be cheating).

grainger

"The most fearful hide deep inside
And venture not there upon Yuletide "

Bauhaus, Hollow Hills

OK, it might be tongue-in-cheek, and they could always claim that to get out of jail, but I'm not convinced comedy was the intention.

pigamus

Quote from: grainger on November 22, 2020, 09:09:50 AM
If that's the real lyric, verbatim, then it's just terribly written, regardless of sentiment.

How would you have written it then?

grainger

I like a lot of early Manics lyrics, but they can be unintentionally hilarious because they go a bit too far even for the bombastic agitprop they're going for. A lot of Natwest-Barclays-Midlands-Lloyds for example.

Later on in their canon, I find South Yorkshire Mass Murderer difficult to listen to (not in any way that might be intended), but at a distance, the admission that he's writing the song because he just saw a TV programme about the subject is pretty funny:

"But thank you Jimmy McGovern
For reminding me of what lives on"

grainger

Quote from: pigamus on November 22, 2020, 09:24:08 AM
How would you have written it then?

Ah, the old "if you aren't a professional writer you don't get to have a negative opinion of it" argument.

But if I must: there are lots of ways to write it that aren't that one.

Pauline Walnuts

Quote from: grainger on November 22, 2020, 09:17:05 AM
Kung Fu Fighting is another obvious one. OK, it's a light-hearted song, but the oft-quoted "little bit frightening" bit doesn't seem intentionally funny (it's surely meant to be taken at face value). I remember Frank Skinner gently taking the piss out of it in a Carl Douglas interview, and Douglas looking not very happy about it (but my memory might be cheating).

He called the album 'Kung Fu Fighting and Other Great Love Songs' That's good enough for me.


Last time I listened to Berlin by Lou Reed, I could barely get through Kids as I was laughing so much. It was like that Wheelchair going off the cliff song routine by Billy Connolly, only far, far funnier.



pigamus

Quote from: grainger on November 22, 2020, 09:28:14 AM
Ah, the old "if you aren't a professional writer you don't get to have a negative opinion of it" argument.

But if I must: there are lots of ways to write it that aren't that one.

Ah, the old "Getting defensive at something nobody actually said" problem. It is pompous but it didn't seem particularly badly written, which is why I asked.

idunnosomename

Quote from: grainger on November 22, 2020, 09:10:45 AM
All of Candle in the Wind the is obvious one.
ive never read the lyrics to 1997 but at least theres some grit to the original. 1997 is just horrendous smaltz

the science eel

old men in stripey trousers
rule the world with plastic smiles

pigamus

Praying for Time by George Michael. I thought it was profound when I was eleven. This was not correct.

Jockice

Quote from: Jockice on November 22, 2020, 12:31:44 AM
The entirety of Profit In Peace by Ocean Colour Scene. Especially the lines about those who've lost their feet and hands not wanting to fight no more. And those who've got a tired face also not wanting to fight no more.

They probably thought they were writing a modern version of Give Peace A Chance as well. Which is why they nicked the tune. Bless.

Those lyrics in full. Now either OCS were either taking the piss in a very subtle and unexpected way or they actually thought this would become a great anthem sung in stadiums worldwide and all wars would end because of it. I know which of those I think,

https://genius.com/Ocean-colour-scene-profit-in-peace-lyrics

See alao Zombie by The Cranberries.


smudge1971

"it's alright, baby's coming back, and I don't really care where he's been"

This is 1987. Within hours Annie would be dripping with AIDS. I find that scenario very funny indeed.


And no-one who has heard Vim Fuego's masterful solo version of 'Imogen' can take the original bag of shite seriously anymore, not should they.

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: Jockice on November 22, 2020, 12:30:10 PM
See also Zombie by The Cranberries.

That's Shakespeare compared to 'I Just Shot John Lennon'.

crankshaft

Quote from: JesusAndYourBush on November 22, 2020, 01:14:19 PM
That's Shakespeare compared to 'I Just Shot John Lennon'.

She had loads of them, sadly - "Bosnia" (the CRINGE), "Salvation", "New New York Skyline".  All that said, whilst I was a fierce critic of her work, she ended up in some terrible struggles and her death was tragic. One of many who might have had a happier life with a normal job, just singing for fun.

Jockice

Racist Friend by the Special AKA. You do realise if you followed it to the letter you'd end up with no friends at all, don't you?
War Crimes also by the Special AKA. Directly responsible for every conflict worldwide since.
Big Gay Heart, The Lemonheads. Increased homophobia. Especially that film of him sitting at a campfire singing it with a load of kids.
I Want Your Sex by George Michael. Made me decide to be celibate for god knows how many years. And I'm sure I wasn't the only one.

studpuppet

Dory Previn's Angels & Devils The Following Day

Mrs. Preview's lyrics go thusly:

loved i two men
equally well
though they were diff'rent
as heaven and hell
one was an artist
one drove a truck
one would make love
the other would fuck

That last line is delivered so seriously, I laugh every time.

pigamus

Oh that's going in the laugh out loud thread, fucking hell

Quote from: Jockice on November 22, 2020, 12:30:10 PM
Those lyrics in full. Now either OCS were either taking the piss in a very subtle and unexpected way or they actually thought this would become a great anthem sung in stadiums worldwide and all wars would end because of it. I know which of those I think,

https://genius.com/Ocean-colour-scene-profit-in-peace-lyrics

See alao Zombie by The Cranberries.

From the link to those Ocean Colour Scene lyrics, even some of the song titles on the same album are unintentionally funny - 'Jane She Got Excavated', 'I Won't Get Grazed'

The latter one must be about that time yer man from OCS though that he was a grassy field, but refused to accommodate the local livestock.

This morning I wanted a cup of coffee, but I didn't have any cream,
Last night I wanted some inspiration, but I didn't have any dreams.

- 3 Chains O' Gold, Prince

I find that hilariously naff.

Rizla

Quote from: holyzombiejesus on November 21, 2020, 12:03:03 AM

I guess we can include hymns. I remember my friend Annabelle snorting with laughter at our friend's mum's funeral at the 'purple headed mountains' line in All Things Bright and Beautiful.

I did that at my stepgran's - it was a hymn that had some lines about "bread of heaven", it just got me somehow.

I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral.