How the other half live like bell-ends

[El Unicornio, mang]

I've always thought there was something a bit naff about home cinemas, the proper serious ones that are designed to look like actual cinemas. It's the kind of thing footballers install in their mock-Tudor houses in Alderley Edge and Essex.

I mean, I'd probably go for one that has a theme, such as



Just having a room that completely detaches me from reality would be *chefs kiss*

[Sebastian Cobb]

I've always thought there was something a bit naff about home cinemas, the proper serious ones that are designed to look like actual cinemas. It's the kind of thing footballers install in their mock-Tudor houses in Alderley Edge and Essex.

The same goes for building a pub in your house, except I've got a soft spot for those and would actually really love to build one myself one day.

Well they're both shit for the same reasons aren't they? All about the setting and specifics rather than the fact what makes both pubs an enjoyable film in a cinema is  these are both collective experiences.

[Blue Jam]

Well they're both shit for the same reasons aren't they? All about the setting and specifics rather than the fact what makes both pubs an enjoyable film in a cinema is  these are both collective experiences.

Well yes, so I don't know why I'm alright with home pubs but not home cinemas. It's probably because I'm a pisshead.

I mean, I'd probably go for one that has a theme, such as



Just having a room that completely detaches me from reality would be *chefs kiss*

That is smart tbf. I quite like this one:



I guess I'm just not a fan of the Art Deco, red velvet curtains, retro popcorn machine-type ones that are meant to look "authentic".

I know what you mean about the detached from reality thing, I guess that's what sheds and man caves are for. Shame we can't all live in big castles with secret passages and writers' garretts and things.

[Icehaven]

I think the main thing that spoils pubs and cinemas is other people. I wish I was joking.

[Zetetic]

How's that work, blue light makes veins invisible?

Makes it harder to find a vein, yes. Apparently.

Yeah. You can't see 'em under UV.

Humans can't see anything under actual ultraviolet (well, unless it's something that then fluoresces some kind of human-visible light under UV, I guess).

If you've got pale enough skin, under sunlight or something close to it, you can see your veins as greeny-blue. They're carrying deoxygenated blood that's a much darker red than the semi-oxygenated blood in capillaries through your flesh (or the bright red blood in your arteries), and the contrast - with your veins reflecting much less reddish-yellowy light then the surrounding flesh - makes them appear blue-ish.

If you get rid of that reddish-yellowly light - leaving only greeny-blue light - then you no longer have the contrast and the veins no longer look any different to the rest of your flesh.

If you've got dark skin, it can be quite difficult to see veins anyway. (Although shining sufficiently bright red or white lights on or through your flesh will make them show up. Or tourniquets can make some of them bulge near the surface.)

[El Unicornio, mang]

Well yes, so I don't know why I'm alright with home pubs but not home cinemas. It's probably because I'm a pisshead.

That is smart tbf. I quite like this one:

Yeah that'd work, nice little escapist cocoon haven to relax in

[Mr Banlon]

More my kind of thing : https://www.homesandproperty.co.uk/property-news/former-nato-spy-base-for-sale-scottish-golf-ball-earlywarning-radar-station-can-withstand-nuclear-or-a127816.html

[Dex Sawash]

I'm sorry to say I have clobbered him to death with his oars :(

Those were his wife and her mum

[Blue Jam]

Yeah that'd work, nice little escapist cocoon haven to relax in

Yes, that's what I like about it too. It looks very cosy, you could get really get immersed in a film and completely forget about the outside world. Also the design makes it look like certain bits of the video game Control. It's a bit Deus:Ex too.

If you've got pale enough skin, under sunlight or something close to it, you can see your veins as greeny-blue.

I can see my veins in pretty much any light, that's how pale I am. Not been anywhere with junkie-proof lighting for a long while, next time I shall have to check.

I'd probably be fucking ace at heroin.

[touchingcloth]

Those were his wife and her mum

Thanks for letting me know. I have now clobbered them to death with each other.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I've always thought there was something a bit naff about home cinemas, the proper serious ones that are designed to look like actual cinemas. It's the kind of thing footballers install in their mock-Tudor houses in Alderley Edge and Essex.

It's shit for cunts. Excess wealth has to go on something. Ideally not some overblown wank lair.

[bgmnts]

Excess wealth has to go on something.

As long as its not paid in taxes towards hospitals, schools and looking after the less abled, I'm not arsed. The gaudier the better.

[Twit 2]

Home cinema
Home piss alley
Home mass grave
Home latrine
Home Halfords

[PlanktonSideburns]

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/82868371#/
This Essex mansion with a home cinema, complete with foyer :

my favourate on cimena at the cinema oscar special

[jobotic]

Why is everything black and white and grey?

Like a teenage boy's room in the eighties. Aah...


Also - I have an enormous house with a fridge bigger than the average family home, but I own no pictures that aren't of me, or books.

[thenoise]

And gold-leaf shit-paper. Real gold-leaf.

Revolting culinary trend - one of many that crops up in those ludicrous £200+ 10 course 'tasting' menus beloved of chefs that think they're artists - is generous helpings of gold leaf to accompany normal/quite nice looking puddings, presumably to justify the ridiculous cost. Its completely inedible, has no taste whatsoever and simply passes through the body unchanged.

[Mr Banlon]

A Porsche bodyshell and a Harley on the wall.

Actually quite like this place : https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/87017825#/

[bomb_dog]

The people who live in these surely don't actually 'live' there though, do they? It must be like those folks who are lumbered with maintaining their passed-down country pile where instead of the place being draughty and ramshackle, the whole gaff is gaudy and showy yet both still live in a couple of rooms in an annex. Except the richer ones are barely there and just use it for showing off.

The earlier house posted is probably used for porn films 60% of the time anyway. It's featureless and 'wipe clean'.

[Paul Calf]

When I worked in the bookies they asked for one but head office said no because the availability of bookie pens just meant they would draw over their veins first.

That's a risky strategy. Veins move when you tap them up and missing one by just a millimetre or so can cause long-term manage / waste a few mills of skag.

[Paul Calf]

Home cinema
Home piss alley
Home mass grave
Home latrine
Home Halfords

Home Chiquitos.

*shudder*

[dissolute ocelot]

Home crowd of teenagers throwing Maccy D's fries at you.

[Mr Banlon]

I think Da-vid Sull-i-van's mansion in the 80s was the blueprint for subsequent Essex monstrosities : https://youtu.be/JuauB1XP9jY?list=PLtNa6zUX6VEvtrVsbCgeNaad33fwODMAr&t=1753

[Mr_Simnock]

travel back to the 1980's for 6.5 million - https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/72922386#/

[Sebastian Cobb]

Home Chiquitos.

*shudder*

Didn't Richie Rich have a really vulgar product placement that there was a McDonalds in his mansion?

[Blue Jam]

Home cinema
Home piss alley
Home mass grave
Home latrine
Home Halfords

Home Oval Office:

https://www.startribune.com/minnesota-man-creates-full-scale-oval-office-replica-in-sprawling-suburban-home/414107713/

https://www.express.co.uk/news/world/442636/White-House-fan-spends-150-000-building-Oval-Office-replica-in-his-home

https://www.thecut.com/2020/08/cnbc-contributor-frank-luntz-has-an-oval-office-replica.html

[Gurke and Hare]

travel back to the 1980's for 6.5 million - https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/72922386#/

Nice garden. Garden wankers.

[Tony Tony Tony]

Don't need to be filthy rich to demo your bell-endness.

You can show off the super yacht parked inside you garage with a tasteful sticker at approx £110.

 

[Blue Jam]

I wonder how many of those fake Oval Offices have a fake nuclear button under the desk.

I'd have a Post-It note with "NUCLEAR CODE: 1234" for a laugh.

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

A Porsche bodyshell and a Harley on the wall.

Actually quite like this place : https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/87017825#/

the little terminator poster!

[The Culture Bunker]

the little terminator poster!

Are they trying to make out it's the bike from the film?