How many raps in your knock? And what does it say about you?

[Tony Tony Tony]

You bunch of cunts can knock all you like. I for one won't be answering as I'm busy wanking till my cock falls off.

Gotta get some in before lockdown ends (again)

[lankyguy95]

No. Knock three times, then twice on the pipe.

You have no respect for tradition. Disgusting.

[Buelligan]

I don't knock.  I have keys.

[kittens]

no doorbell, no visit from me. not bruising my knuckles on your filthy door. it's 2020 and you want me to punch a bit of wood to get your attention. get a doorbell or get bent.

[Paul Calf]

Four fast triplets, a pause and a final knock. You need two hands to do it properly.

BA-da-ba-DA...ba.

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

Very keen me. Drum my knuckles a la youtube.com/watch?v=gzBpK1GcwdQ

[thenoise]

Four. To the tempo of o-pen-this-door. Or, perhaps, please-let-me-in, if I'm feeling polite.

[idunnosomename]

Snare drum pattern from Ravel's Bolero

[Hand Solo]

Amen break your door down.

[Butchers Blind]

Three loud and hard knocks followed by "IT'S THE POLICE. OPEN UP!"

[SpiderChrist]

I like to recreate Ringo's solo from The End.

[Big Mclargehuge]

Depends on mood.

If I cant be arsed 3 not overly hard, but short raps. *Rap,Rap,Rap* (Especially good if they have a knocker on the door)

If im in a good mood I go for the full melodic 7! (*Rapraprapraprap ...rap rap.)

[Replies From View]

I like to take my penis out and press its own glans against the little lens of their peeper thing



Teach them to fucking gawp at me while I do them the favour of gracing them




Not sure how many "knocks" or "raps" this translates into.  It's kind of a silent "pressing" noise.

[Aleister Growley]

I always do six - to the tune of "thats what it's all about" from the hokey-cokey.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I like to take my penis out and press its own glans against the little lens of their peeper thing



Teach them to fucking gawp at me while I do them the favour of gracing them




Not sure how many "knocks" or "raps" this translates into.  It's kind of a silent "pressing" noise.

I put my bumhole up to it and shout 'you can't beat a bit of bully!'

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

If you're knocking at the door you should ensure:

1) it sounds like a person is there rather than just house or external noise, ie loud enough and/or a distinctive pattern.
2) it sounds friendly rather than aggressive

Therefore I adopt the classic knock-nuh-nuh-knock-knock.

I bet no-one in Bishop Auckland voted Labour because of pancreas' curt, truncated door knocking.

Though, residents of a house: Fit a working doorbell though yeah? Cheers

[Buelligan]

What if you plan never to answer the door to anyone?  In that situation, it would seem a foolish move, surely?

I have an old bronze shop bell, that came from an old shop (that, surprisingly, sold no bronze whatsoever).  It makes an ineffectual mournful tinkle that I find easy enough to ignore.  Ideal.

[The Mollusk]

I have an "extratone" knock where I knock in such an extremely quick succession is just sounds like one continuous loud buzzing noise, like a drill. I find it works very well if you're a vigilante paedo hunter and you want to get a breakcore producer to open the door instead of the usual knock which makes them chuck their hard drive in the microwave and bolt out over the back fences.

[idunnosomename]

Oh god is this just meant to remind me of last year. Deso.

A knock needs to have human agency. I think i went with ratatatat. I should have punched these tory voters lights out though

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

What if you plan never to answer the door to anyone?  In that situation, it would seem a foolish move, surely?

Yes, I would go with a sign stating 'I never answer the door, so please leave'

[Blinder Data]

FOUR

Bum, bum-bum, BUM

Any fewer and it could be written off as dodgy pipes or falling debris. Any more and they assume the neighbour's doing DIY.

With my four knocks, I instantly have the household's attention and my sexiness is greatly increased.

PM me for other hot tips

[Replies From View]

I think i went with ratatatat.

Ratatoing more like


Your favourite film of all time

[Replies From View]

Ohhhh everybody sing


How many raps in your knock
On your cock
Aaaand what does it say about you
Done a poo




- The Pogues

[Marner and Me]

Someones knockin' at the door
Someones ringin' the bell

[idunnosomename]

Ratatoing more like


Your favourite film of all time

its a fucking corker yes.

[Twit 2]

Sorry, it should have been:

blibby blobby blibby blobby blibby blooby blibby blobby ... KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK | ...

[TrenterPercenter]

I got bear raps in my knock bruv