Things That Fuck You Off No End

[Go With The Flow]

I hate when you're having a discussion, and there's a subtle joke going around, then someone says THAT'S FUNNY BECAUSE "..." then explains the whole joke even though everyone knows what the joke's about. It's just annoying.

Also, when people repeat a joke that was JUST SAID THE MINUTE BEFORE annoys me. Like when someone says something funny on TV, then someone says "Haha *the thing repeated* HAHAHA"

edit - when I look on ebay for something, and a million stupid/unrelated items come up. "OMFG LOOK FREE TFT SCREEN!!" "*band* CD CLOCK!" Seriously, who buys a crappy homemade CD CLOCK?

...And on the Internet, some searches provide the worst results ever. It's really odd how none of the results even remotely resemble what you typed in.

...And how my friends seem to smoke weed/get drunk at least once EVERY WEEK, and still manage to get great school results/do all their homework.

edit 2 - people who will talk about stuff they like for ages, and you HAVE to listen to them, but when you talk about something YOU like, they are just ignorant about it.

...And people who seem to be good at EVERYTHING, and are usually pricks but no-one else seems to notice except you. (or that could be jealousy, I'm not sure)

...And people who plan stuff with you, but then you go and do it, and they just don't, and you feel like a right twat.

I am annoyed by way too much.

[lazyhour]

They're only human, though.  It's a bit annoying, but I guess they can't help it.

Edit: Response to pre-edit content of the above post.

Edit 2: Fucking hell, lazyhour, what is the point of posting this?  It's the messageboard equivilent of an irrelevant shrug.  I think I need to go for a walk.

[Go With The Flow]

I know, but the same people tend to do it all the time.

[23 Daves]

Landlords.  Landlords fuck me off.  No end.  Especially London Landlords - you give them half of your monthly salary, and they do nothing.

"Excuse me Mr Landlord, my kitchen is infested with cockroaches and Rentokil say that they're actually coming from the people downstairs.  We'll need access to get rid of the problem".
"Well... I got Rentokil in for you... I've done everything I can". (ie I refuse to pay to fumigate the entire block)

"Excuse me, but the front door continually jams because you used one of your low budget mates to install it.  It jammed rigid this morning, my wife was trapped outside in the rain for ages, and I've just had to spend ten minutes kicking it open.  The lock is now broken".
"Well... we've already looked at the door... I've done everything I can". (ie I fiddled with it for a bit, and couldn't work out what was wrong because I'm not a locksmith).

"Excuse me, but it would seem that many of the floorboards in our hallway are broken in two, and the stairs leading down from our front door are made of something that can only described as packing crate material - hence, they are now splintering in two".
"Well, at least I gave you stairs... I've done everything I can".

AN ABSOLUTE MOTHERFUCKING CUNT.  Sadly, of course, laws in this country support cunts like him.

[terminallyrelaxed]

How do they support him? In my experience, he's legally obliged to sort all those things, as in sort them, not have a go at sorting them and then shrug. Theres a tenancy act and everything.

[23 Daves]

How do they support him? In my experience, he's legally obliged to sort all those things, as in sort them, not have a go at sorting them and then shrug. Theres a tenancy act and everything.

He apparently owns more property in East London than any other agent or landlord, and everyone seems quite happy to let him do what he wishes.  Besides which, most of the effort in legally challenging him would come from me, and I don't have the necessary cash available to me to actually start hiring solicitors, etc, over landlord negligence.  I'd rather just move.

In Australia, of course, sorting things out was generally much more simple - the government held your deposit, and the landlord had to prove you had wrecked the place, etc.  

I am going to grass him up to Environmental Health, though, amongst other people.  Not too sure what good it will do, given that we apparently have one of the worst councils in London, but it's certainly worth a try.

[gazzyk1ns]

He doesnt have a letterbox, so I'm just  going to piss on the carpet outside his front door just before I move out.

You think I'm joking.

Yeah make it a hangover piss as well; you know, the fairly strong-smelling dark yellow stuff you piss the morning after a rough night, all waste and toxins with very little dilution because you're dehydrated.

[Neil]

Sorry to hear about that AY, hope the girl and mother are ok, let us know.

--

I don't feel cold pretty much at all, never had the heating on since I've moved in here.  Not once.  But today my foot (note, singular) is so cold it HURTS.  None of the rest of me is cold, just my foot.  It's not even my bad foot, which I could at least understand.  So I've dug out my hot water bottle and am going to get into bed and watch the latest Curbs and Arrested Developments.  But no, I can't watch the latest AD because it sems to be a fake. Which is particularly galling because it's taken me bloody ages to get episode 302 downloaded because of having no disk space, and it took ages to burn it off too because I've hardlyany DVDR's left.  What a pain in the hole, now I have to get a new version and then try and watch it on the puter before I can go back to bed and watch 303.

And my space bar is going too.

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

I suppose it would have been too obvious to type "Andmyspacebarisgoingtoo."

[Neil]

Yes.

And people going on and on and on about torrents.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Also, when people repeat a joke that was JUST SAID THE MINUTE BEFORE annoys me. Like when someone says something funny on TV, then someone says "Haha *the thing repeated* HAHAHA"
.

Something that happens in my office a lot, someone will make a joke, or a funny observation, and for whatever reason most people don't hear it, so this one other guy will say the exact same thing really loud for everyone to hear,as if he's made up the joke himself

[Gazeuse]

I've got a relative who has always told his jokes twice.

Now he's getting older, he's started to go for the three.

[difbrook]

yet more neighbours from hell, I'm afraid.

Idiots upstairs turned living in a reasonably well-adjusted stairwell into a daily assault course.

there were about fifteen of them, all living in the one flat. Usual sort of woes, you know the type of thing. Loud noises, domestic disputes, fights in the stairwell. One of them used to go out into the back garden and have a shouted conversation from the ground up to the flat above - my window backs onto the garden so I used to hear it all. I went out into the hall one saturday morning to find pools of blood all over the place.

they started dealing drugs from there in the middle of last year, so the stairwell immediately became flooded with all sorts of characters - all of the other tenants in the stairwell paid to put a new lock on the front door to keep them out and they booted it in four times in a row.

one night I was sitting in the flat and someone locked themselves out of the flat upstairs, so they applied their unique approach to breaking and entering by spending an hour and a half kicking their front door repeatedly, to the point where rivulets of ceiling plaster were showering down on me and things were falling off shelves.

then a couple of weeks ago the patriarch of the family got put away for dealing. The landlord heard about it, went ballistic and started clearing them out one by one - and a couple of weeks ago they disconnected their washing machine in preparation for moving out. They forgot to disconnect the supply, of course.

Predictable result - one corner of my flat instantly became a quaqmire with water skiting out in all directions from the sodden corner of the ceiling. I gritted my teeth, dealt with it as best I could, and mopped up the damage. There's only one me and far too many of them for me to be able to mount a successful attempt to recoup damages, so I took the cowards way out and did nothing. I'm not proud of it, but I really couldn't see what I could do.

anyway, I have a very large cupboard built into some crawlspace immediately above the wardrobe, which is immediately adjacent to the area that got flooded. Over a lifetime of gathering books together I've managed to fill that entire crawlspace full of comics and stuff that's got serious sentimental value - graphic novels, trade paperbacks, complete runs of several titles which I loved as a kid.

I went up there to dig out some old stuff that I haven't read for a while. And only just discovered that the flood from a few weeks ago has fucking decimated that particular cupboard. Mould everywhere, books stuck together and pages reduced to a mushy mess. I've pretty much lost a good ten years worth of collected stuff, including all of my favourite comics. Goodbye Batman:Year One and Year Two, Knightfall, a Death in the Family and The Dark Knight Returns. Arrividerci, Daredevil:Born Again. Nevermore, Geoffrey the Tube Train and the Fat Comedian. I've said farewell to X-Men - The Death of Phoenix and the Days of Future Past saga. II may have read that copy of  V For Vendetta for the last time, although I'm hanging on to it in case I can salvage it.

there's boxes and boxes of paperbacks up there as well. I haven't the heart to unpack them all and see what's gone, as I've just finished filling the rubbish skip outside with the comic stuff.

ah, well. Someone's obviously telling me not to place so much value on material possessions. At least they've gone, and I still have a ceiling in the flat...

[Deadman97]

I went up there to dig out some old stuff that I haven't read for a while. And only just discovered that the flood from a few weeks ago has fucking decimated that particular cupboard. Mould everywhere, books stuck together and pages reduced to a mushy mess. I've pretty much lost a good ten years worth of collected stuff, including all of my favourite comics. Goodbye Batman:Year One and Year Two, Knightfall, a Death in the Family and The Dark Knight Returns. Arrividerci, Daredevil:Born Again. Nevermore, Geoffrey the Tube Train and the Fat Comedian. I've said farewell to X-Men - The Death of Phoenix and the Days of Future Past saga. II may have read that copy of  V For Vendetta for the last time, although I'm hanging on to it in case I can salvage it.

Massive, heartlfelt commiserations man. That's fucking tragic.

[slim]

Have you got insurance? That's terrible.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

Heh, don't expect to get much sympathy for that here! They're just material things, they can all be replaced, they don't really matter etc.

edit: ooh, I was wrong!

[TraceyQ]

God, that's really awful. Sim's right, get onto your contents insurance people.


Please tell me you have contents insurance.

[difbrook]

God, that's really awful. Sim's right, get onto your contents insurance people.


Please tell me you have contents insurance.

thanks, folks. I should have contents insurance, it's just a pain in the arse to have to go through the whole rigmarole of getting it sorted out.  

and I'm being philosophical about it all - it can all be replaced, and yes material possessions shouldn't matter. It's more a sort of sentimental value sort of thing. You know, it's quite nice to pick up something you've owned for a long time that has an awful lot of good memories attached. Hey-ho...

[Four Eyes]

GOODBYE.

[zozman]

Suicide?

[Ambient Sheep]

Bye thread...

EDIT: terrible story, Difbrook, you have my utterly heartfelt commiserations.

[Four Eyes]

Suicide?

No, to the thread.

[difbrook]

I've just read the last couple of pages of this thread and quite frankly, sod my water-damaged books and mouldy storage space. I'm more concerned about AY.

Does anyone know if the kid and mother are alright?

[Frinky]

Yeah, give us closure, AY, when you get it.

[Ambient Sheep]

Yeah, give us closure, AY, when you get it.

Where will he post it though?

[difbrook]

Bye thread...

EDIT: terrible story, Difbrook, you have my utterly heartfelt commiserations.

thank you kindly, and to all the others who've said nice things. Brightens me up no end, that does. You're lovely around here.

You may be amused to know that in a moment of quiet irony... it's just turned midnight and it's now my birthday. It's a tradition with me to open one present if I happen to be up and around as the big day starts...

and it's a hardback copy of "Superman - True Brit", John Cleese's "What if Superman had made his home in Britain instead of America" story.

huzzah! I'm chuffed. The collection begins anew. Wheel turns - civilisations rise. Wheel turns - civilisations fall.

[zozman]

Suicide?

No, to the thread.

Well that made me laugh.  I thought it was a bit of an extreme reaction to the number of "things" threads.

[falafel]

goodnight, sweetheart...

[Neil]

I feel like a mean-hearted lumberjack depriving all you cheerful squirrels of your homes.

TIMBEEEER!