Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 19, 2024, 09:39:32 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Batshit Scam Junkmail

Started by GoblinAhFuckScary, December 01, 2020, 02:53:49 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

GoblinAhFuckScary

Just got this one and wanted to share, and also wanted others to share their Batshit Scam Junkmailtm

QuoteHELLO DADDY/ MUMMY

MY NAME IS JOHN OSINOWO THE SON OF THE LATE SENATOR OSINOWO FROM NIGERIA WHO WAS ALSO A GEMOLOGIST AND WAS KILLED BY SOME GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS WHO PAID HOODLUMS TO KILL HIM. OUR FAMILY HOUSE WAS RAIDED A FEW DAYS AGO IN LAGOS BY SOME OTHER SET OF HOODLUMS AND I MANAGED TO ESCAPE WITH MY LATE FATHERS SAFE BOXES. HE INSTRUCTED ME TO NOT TRUST ANY AFRICAN MAN WITH THE BOXES THAT'S WHY I AM LOOKING FOR A BENEFICIARY / GUARDIAN OR INVESTOR TO HELP ME WITH THIS BOXES SO I CAN FURTHER MY EDUCATION AND LEAVE THIS COUNTRY . I AM READY TO SEND THE BOXES TO YOU AND I WILL LIKE YOU TO ADOPT ME PLEASE DADDY AND MUMMY
I PROMISE TO BE LOYAL AND FOLLOW YOUR INSTRUCTIONS
PLEASE CONTACT ME DIRECTLY ON  [removed email]

I WILL BE EXPECTING YOUR REPLY DADDY/MUMMY

REGARDS,

YOUR NEW SON

JOHN. 

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adebayo_Osinowo

Ere be di article dat confirm im don die:
https://www.bbc.com/pidgin/53058052

He died of COVID though, so I'm not sure what this little shit is going on about hoodlums for. Maybe it's a post traumatic thing.

steve98

Congratulations Goblin. I hope he (John) makes you very proud.

Inspector Norse

Thoughtful of you to edit out John Osinowo's e-mail address to avoid spreading sensitive personal information about your adopted soon whose birth father was killed by government officials who paid some hoodlums to kill him and who is now trying to secure safe passage to Europe with the family fortune.

touchingcloth

Hello friendly people my name is Mr Oloroso Sherry Esq. and I beseech you Good English Man help me to keep the armoire of Cash Notes left behind my father Mr King Pedro Ximénez IIIrd safe from harm by Goblins.

Yours in CHRIST JESUS Amen

PS please revert soonest they are slicing off my pene and I must ensure the safety of this chifforobe by first light.

Icehaven

I like the idea of someone young enough to be adopted using 'regards'. Seems a very well brought up young man.

Butchers Blind

Gotta watch out for those HOODLUMS.

Wonderful Butternut


Blumf

"DEAR MR DUDE, I AM THE PRESIDENT, BUT I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY NINJAS!..."

dissolute ocelot

"Thank you but our princess is in another castle."

JaDanketies

A few days ago I got a phone call from a telemarketing scammer when I was walking around with our baby in Tesco. She knew my name and then wanted to do some smalltalk before saying she was calling from some bullshit scam company, and the moment she revealed a company name, I said I wasn't interested and hung up.

Then the fuckhead called me back immediately to confront me about how I knew I wasn't interested in what she had to say when she hadn't even got the chance to say it. I couldn't believe her gumption. I told her to quickly tell me what she was offering because I was in a rush and then hung up again.

I reckon my shithead former employer sold on my number. They were fucking awful scammers and I put my number in their database for testing purposes once or twice.

The only entertaining anecdote I have is when someone called me up about a domain I bought for a client several years ago, and I told them my domain was actually huge-ballsack.com, it contained a picture of a huge ballsack, and I didn't need any marketing advice because when you Google huge ballsack, I come up first. It was only when I burst out laughing giving my email address as Ihavea@huge-ballsack.com that the guy berated me for wasting his time. SO SORRY FOR WASTING YOUR TIME MR TELEMARKETER SCAMMER

I used to get the tech support ones where they try to hijack your PC and would ask them if they were religious and if so do they think scammers go to hell. That seemed to really get them unleashing the insults.

Hand Solo

Quote from: JaDanketies on December 01, 2020, 10:08:18 AM
The only entertaining anecdote I have is when someone called me up about a domain I bought for a client several years ago, and I told them my domain was actually huge-ballsack.com, it contained a picture of a huge ballsack, and I didn't need any marketing advice because when you Google huge ballsack, I come up first.

Oh, I beg to differ..

boki


Icehaven

Quote from: JaDanketies on December 01, 2020, 10:08:18 AM

I used to get the tech support ones where they try to hijack your PC and would ask them if they were religious and if so do they think scammers go to hell. That seemed to really get them unleashing the insults.

I got one of those on my landline the other day and was intending to have some fun with them, but I'd just got to the point where they start asking what kind of device you're using and I accidentally laughed at the stupid voice I was putting on, so they hung up.

Hand Solo

Quote from: JaDanketies on December 01, 2020, 10:08:18 AM
I used to get the tech support ones where they try to hijack your PC and would ask them if they were religious and if so do they think scammers go to hell. That seemed to really get them unleashing the insults.

Jim Browning's the best for those ones, literally pretends to be some vulnerable pensioner and lets them onto his PC and using various hacks gets into theirs and goes through all their files including names, shifts, pay grades, gets into their webcams, CCTV, exposes their whole shell company business network and hands it over to the (usually similarly corrupt) authorities.

https://www.youtube.com/c/JimBrowning/videos?view=0&sort=p&flow=grid

El Unicornio, mang

Quote from: Hand Solo on December 01, 2020, 01:34:13 PM
Jim Browning's the best for those ones, literally lets them onto his PC and using a hack gets into theirs and goes through all their files including names, shifts, pay etc, gets into their webcams, CCTV, exposes their whole shell company business network.

https://www.youtube.com/c/JimBrowning/videos?view=0&sort=p&flow=grid

He's great, love how calm he always sounds when he turns the tables on these people.

This guy is good too although he goes a step further and deletes all their files then mercilessly mocks them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLzgQ35s9Os&ab_channel=ScammerRevolts

Always amazes me how annoyed the scammers get that someone has dared do it back to them.

I got this tempting offer recently

QuoteI am 26 YO. I am bored to death and I need to have a master. Maybe you want
to order me to stuff in my ass what you wish? I love to realize all of your
whims! Your passionate dreams are making me juice! I need your shocking
requests. Contact me: my MySpace is in dating profile. You'll be able to be
slutty with me and my fantasies! I'd like to share your manias!

Knew it was a scam when she mentioned MySpace

GoblinAhFuckScary

Quote from: Inspector Norse on December 01, 2020, 06:34:53 AM
Thoughtful of you to edit out John Osinowo's e-mail address to avoid spreading sensitive personal information about your adopted soon whose birth father was killed by government officials who paid some hoodlums to kill him and who is now trying to secure safe passage to Europe with the family fortune.

Thank you for understanding. This goblin's not about to fucking dox her future son (John)

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

It says he was a gemologist, so presumably the safe boxes are stuffed full of uncut diamonds.

Hand Solo

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on December 01, 2020, 03:03:39 PM
It says he was a gemologist, so presumably the safe boxes are stuffed full of uncut diamonds.

Was probably hoping `Mummy' wanted her box stuffed with something else that was exotic and uncut.

GoblinAhFuckScary

Dear friend,
With all due respect, my name is Barr.John De Sousa,personal attorney
to my late client, I am contacting you on behalf of my deceased client
who is a national of your country who  was assassinated  in 2013, with
his wife and their only child. Since the funds was left in open
beneficiary status and there is no living relative to claim the
funds,I am contacting you to stand as the beneficiary/next of kin to
his deposit,$4.5 Million USD ) which he made with a bank here before
his sudden death. After successful transfer of funds to your
account,we shall share it 50/50%.Get back to me for more details.
Yours sincerely
BARRISTER JOHN DE SOUSA ESQ

Icehaven

Given these things have been circulating in largely the same form pretty much since the internet started it's worrying how often they must still work, unless they're just the same ones bouncing around for 30 years and the people that sent them are now cobwebbed skeletons sitting in swivel chairs in front of an IBM PC.

idunnosomename

the theory is that keeping them as dumb and obvious as possible means that only the most gullible and naive people get hooked by them, so you don't waste your time with those who will suss it out before they hand over the vital info

Fambo Number Mive

This email appeared in my spam folder this week. Not sure if it is a scam but somewhat weird. Would a legitimate company randomly email people like this? I note the sender's name is different from the email used to send the email, which is a bit odd.

QuoteHello Mr (Mrs) (my surname), I'm A Student And I'm Honored To Be Selling T-Shirts For You.
I have all Size - Color - Product Type - Gender
Guaranteed Delivery in 4-10 days for you

I know you very much love your Family and want a T-Shirt for your Family.
I would be honored to sell T-Shirts for you, Help me have many orders. Thank you a lot, Have a good day.

BIG SALE OFF WITH COUPON 20% : THANKYOU20

Bookmark Page Below For Daily Updating ...

There are then images of t-shirts with my surname saying things like "Best (my surname) in the galaxy", "Never underestimate the power of (my surname)".


Camp Tramp

QuoteWith heavy whimper in my heart I call it Vanity upon Vanity, my names
is  Mrs.Linda Raja from Indian and married to Iran man,but residing in
United States, I have been hit with evil pandemic Covid -19, and the
doctor said I have 21days to live, and presently I have lost all my
families through this evil pandemic Covid-19 as my only son contracted
it and spread to all family members.

I was so shocked when the doctor stated I have only 21days to live, I
cried as all that I have worked for in life is gone, all my houses,
cars, ships and my money is gone,but still have good amount of funds
in the bank for charity donation / investment.

I drafted this message through my Doctor's PA - PC, in search of
trusted traits to facilitate my wealthy accomplishment in life to
underprivileged people in the world; presently I have instructed my
Branch Bank Manager to take directive from my doctor's PA to an
interested person who wishes to handle this assignment to help
humanity since Covid-19 wants to take my life away to leave all I have
worked for underprivileged people in the world

So please contact my doctor's PA Mr Joseph Scott via his email ID
REDACTED  for further communication.

Please contact him for more details for the transaction.

I'll have the ships instead of the money.

Cuellar

A friend once got an email for nob pills from a man called 'Winston Dick Spacious'

Sebastian Cobb

I've had my details in a couple of hacks from reputable services (like Lastfm) so now get emails from 'hackers' with my name in them trying to shake me down for money not to leak videos of me wanking.

H-O-W-L

And I beg you please don't tell me anymore about the soul called Mr. Barrister John Warosa

The Mollusk


flotemysost

QuoteHELLO DADDY/ MUMMY

MY NAME IS JOHN OSINOWO THE SON OF THE LATE SENATOR OSINOWO FROM NIGERIA WHO WAS ALSO A GEMOLOGIST AND WAS KILLED BY SOME GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS WHO PAID HOODLUMS TO KILL HIM. OUR FAMILY HOUSE WAS RAIDED A FEW DAYS AGO IN LAGOS BY SOME OTHER SET OF HOODLUMS AND I MANAGED TO ESCAPE WITH MY LATE FATHERS SAFE BOXES. HE INSTRUCTED ME TO NOT TRUST ANY AFRICAN MAN WITH THE BOXES THAT'S WHY I AM LOOKING FOR A BENEFICIARY / GUARDIAN OR INVESTOR TO HELP ME WITH THIS BOXES SO I CAN FURTHER MY EDUCATION AND LEAVE THIS COUNTRY . I AM READY TO SEND THE BOXES TO YOU AND I WILL LIKE YOU TO ADOPT ME PLEASE DADDY AND MUMMY
I PROMISE TO BE LOYAL AND FOLLOW YOUR INSTRUCTIONS
PLEASE CONTACT ME DIRECTLY ON  [removed email]

I WILL BE EXPECTING YOUR REPLY DADDY/MUMMY

REGARDS,

YOUR NEW SON

JOHN.

Allan Sherman considers rewrite.

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on April 08, 2021, 03:24:53 PM
I've had my details in a couple of hacks from reputable services (like Lastfm) so now get emails from 'hackers' with my name in them trying to shake me down for money not to leak videos of me wanking.

I had one of these quite recently on Facebook, in the form of a direct message from my manager, who I'm friends with (both FB and real life) - the subject was something like "Oh flotemysost, what are you like *shocked cat emoji*?!", which is the sort of thing he might actually say, but then the body of the message was about a shocking video of me that's apparently doing the rounds and how I might want to check out the bit at 02:38... nah mate, hacked.

Tbf the "We've caught you secretly wanking on Zoom!" scam market must be, er, exploding right now.