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queer/trans comrades thread

Started by GoblinAhFuckScary, December 13, 2020, 07:07:40 AM

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Bernice

When I was studying in Spain a few years ago, it was common to see right on student types use the @ sign as a gender neutral collective vowel ("buscamos compañer@ de casa" etc). Doesn't really work spoken though, unless they wanna get using the shwa.

George Oscar Bluth II

Listening to trans people and what they go through is a pretty good counter to the idea that people"choose" or "become trans" for the laffs isn't it.

Marner and Me

Quote from: flotemysost on December 22, 2020, 11:24:38 PM
I dunno, as far as I can tell it originated with native speakers of those languages. My Portuguese-speaking former flatmate (a cis straight woman, fwiw) did an Instagram post after her birthday this year saying "thanks everyone for all the messages", and I noticed she used "todxs", which I'd never seen before.

I don't know if any of the people she was specifically addressing are trans/nonbinary or if it's a general effort to speak inclusively at all times, and I don't speak Portuguese (bit of Spanish so I got the gist) but I thought it was nice anyway.
I thought everyone did that anyway for their FB birthday messages.

El Unicornio, mang

Quote from: George Oscar Bluth II on December 24, 2020, 01:07:04 PM
Listening to trans people and what they go through is a pretty good counter to the idea that people"choose" or "become trans" for the laffs isn't it.

That's what I've never understood about people who say "being gay/trans is a lifestyle choice". Who in their right mind would choose a life of having to hide their sexual preference or the gender they identify as, being shunned by family and friends, having fewer rights, enduring abuse online and in the street, having to go through long, sometimes expensive operations, and in some countries being imprisoned or executed etc.?

canadagoose

What does everyone think about the phenomenon of the "self-hating" trans woman - you know, the type that retweets "gender critical" shite, says stuff like "well as a transsexual I stand with Keira Bell[nb]end[/nb]" and seems to think repealing the GRA (!) is a good idea? I end up calling them Tories, because it seems like they're pulling the ladder up after them. They really irritate me, and I wonder why they think they'll be spared when they support things like Fair Play for Leopards Eating People's Faces. Honestly, I think I know of about five Scottish ones on Twitter. They're the pits, aren't they? What's the mentality?

chveik

Quote from: canadagoose on December 24, 2020, 07:37:21 PMI end up calling them Tories

I think that's better than the all self-hating trope, ultimately it's a politically motivated choice.

what the fuck do I know though, I don't have to interact with this sort of people

canadagoose

Quote from: chveik on December 24, 2020, 07:51:41 PM
I think that's better than the all self-hating trope, ultimately it's a politically motivated choice.

what the fuck do I know though, I don't have to interact with this sort of people
You know, you're probably right - I had just assumed that was what was going on in their heads. At any rate, they're a pain.

Zetetic

They found a form of identity in a compromise that allowed them to live in a certain way at a certain cost with a certain degree of tolerance, and see anything that threatens that compromise as a threat to their own precarious lives.

Biological essentialism of one ilk or another remains very popular amongst all sorts as well, of course. Pointing to "female brains" as a justification that transgender people weren't just pranking was briefly popular, for example, even amongst those advocating the most liberal policy.

canadagoose

Quote from: Zetetic on December 24, 2020, 07:58:06 PM
They found a form of identity in a compromise that allowed them to live in a certain way at a certain cost with a certain degree of tolerance, and see anything that threatens that compromise as a threat to their own precarious lives.
That's interesting. It's strange that they can't see that they, too, are weakened by tervish attacks on trans people. It all seems a bit knee-jerkish to me.

QuoteBiological essentialism of one ilk or another remains very popular amongst all sorts as well, of course. Pointing to "female brains" as a justification that transgender people weren't just pranking was briefly popular, for example, even amongst those advocating the most liberal policy.
I wonder if that was a sort of response to constantly being told "you're making it up, you're off your head, you're a fantasist" etc. Does seem to be less common these days.

madhair60

Quote from: George Oscar Bluth II on December 24, 2020, 01:07:04 PM
Listening to trans people and what they go through is a pretty good counter to the idea that people"choose" or "become trans" for the laffs isn't it.

I have a trans colleague and they got it in the neck from some cunt today, Christmas Eve, for absolutely no reason whatsoever, just a transphobic outburst from a complete prick. Fucking cowards everywhere. They know they're on the ropes.

Non Stop Dancer

Something I've wondered - could it be seen as transphobic for cis people to not specify their pronouns, in the sense that it implies that it's not necessary because cis is "the norm" or would even the most radical trans rights activist consider that a bit much?

Non Stop Dancer

Also, would it be considered rude to remark to a trans person that they do a good job of physically "passing" as e.g. a man? I mean even typing that out I feel that yes, that would be patronising at best, but I can imagine it's the kind of thing people would say in an attempt to make a compliment.

Sin Agog

Quote from: Non Stop Dancer on December 24, 2020, 10:22:14 PM
Also, would it be considered rude to remark to a trans person that they do a good job of physically "passing" as e.g. a man? I mean even typing that out I feel that yes, that would be patronising at best, but I can imagine it's the kind of thing people would say in an attempt to make a compliment.

I just wouldn't talk about trans shit unless they seem to really want to.  It must be knackering having to bang on about the same subject 24/7 just because you fixed something that wasn't right.

Famous Mortimer

Quote from: El Unicornio, mang on December 24, 2020, 01:55:15 PM
That's what I've never understood about people who say "being gay/trans is a lifestyle choice". Who in their right mind would choose a life of having to hide their sexual preference or the gender they identify as, being shunned by family and friends, having fewer rights, enduring abuse online and in the street, having to go through long, sometimes expensive operations, and in some countries being imprisoned or executed etc.?
If anyone ever says being gay is a choice to me, I'll act like I'm agreeing with them, then suggest the very simple way of proving this would be to suck my dick, right then and there.

Cold Meat Platter

Quote from: Famous Mortimer on December 24, 2020, 11:12:06 PM
If anyone ever says being gay is a choice to me, I'll act like I'm agreeing with them, then suggest the very simple way of proving this would be to suck my dick, right then and there.

But this just makes you seem mental. They are choosing not to suck your dick.

Famous Mortimer

Make the choice to suck anyone's, then. A nicer one than mine.

Cold Meat Platter

With you watching through your special binoculars.
In your harness.

petril

being homophobic is just an effect of deep rooted illness or unhealthy thinking, and that's why they should all be euthanised

Cold Meat Platter


flotemysost

Quote from: Marner and Me on December 24, 2020, 01:09:34 PM
I thought everyone did that anyway for their FB birthday messages.

Oh I know - my point was that she used "todxs" (presumably instead of the gendered "todas/todos" - as I said, don't speak Portuguese but I'm assuming traditionally it follows the rule where you use the masculine version by default when addressing a group, as long as there's a minimum of one bloke in the group).

So yeah, dunno if it's specifically intended to be in solidarity with trans/non-binary people, but it felt kind of heartening to see it used sort of casually/seamlessly in that way - obviously in this case I'm lacking some linguisitic and cultural context, but I feel the same way about people making easy adaptations to the use of English to make it more inclusive.

I really need to break my own habit of casually addressing groups as "guys" - I mean, I personally don't see it as a gendered word and I'd think nothing of referring to a group of women as such - but I know not everyone might want to be addressed by a term that is traditionally gender-specific, just because it's OK in my mind doesn't mean everyone feels that way.

GoblinAhFuckScary

Checking in on anyone post christmas family time. Was my first 'out' one

JaDanketies

Quote from: GoblinAhFuckScary on December 30, 2020, 01:30:32 PM
Checking in on anyone post christmas family time. Was my first 'out' one

Congratulations! How was it?

Retinend

Quote from: Zetetic on December 24, 2020, 07:58:06 PM
They found a form of identity in a compromise that allowed them to live in a certain way at a certain cost with a certain degree of tolerance, and see anything that threatens that compromise as a threat to their own precarious lives.

As usual, Contrapoints nailed this:
"Cringe"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRBsaJPkt2Q&t=1h8m6s
1 hour 8 mins 6 seconds, regarding a case study trans individual "Rose"

GoblinAhFuckScary

Quote from: JaDanketies on December 30, 2020, 01:52:52 PM
Congratulations! How was it?

It was ok really. They fobbed up the name and things like that regularly, but I understand that it's a bit of a process and I ought to let them ease into it. Something which felt a teeny bit heartbreaking was my mum saying that I should not come out to my nearly 90 years old grandparents since they would not accept that. I didn't really imagine them is deeply conservative, but I fear intensely... basically the thought of them passing away hating me. Horrible thoughts.

I certainly felt extremely physically tense and had my first migraine in about a year, which was prolly partially bought on by the new decapeptyl shots and adjusting to having less testosterone than a cis woman.

What ACTUALLY sucked was the response to my presents. I don't really have money, but I make music. Spent about a hundred hours working on fifty minutes of ambient type music for my family. Thought I did a good job and it was genuinely heartfelt, but besides the others not being very bothered, my dad complained that it gave him a headache, was too droney, and that perhaps it would be better for me to work on more traditional styles of composition. lil bitch

Kankurette

Quote from: GoblinAhFuckScary on December 30, 2020, 04:37:44 PM
It was ok really. They fobbed up the name and things like that regularly, but I understand that it's a bit of a process and I ought to let them ease into it. Something which felt a teeny bit heartbreaking was my mum saying that I should not come out to my nearly 90 years old grandparents since they would not accept that. I didn't really imagine them is deeply conservative, but I fear intensely... basically the thought of them passing away hating me. Horrible thoughts.

I certainly felt extremely physically tense and had my first migraine in about a year, which was prolly partially bought on by the new decapeptyl shots and adjusting to having less testosterone than a cis woman.

What ACTUALLY sucked was the response to my presents. I don't really have money, but I make music. Spent about a hundred hours working on fifty minutes of ambient type music for my family. Thought I did a good job and it was genuinely heartfelt, but besides the others not being very bothered, my dad complained that it gave him a headache, was too droney, and that perhaps it would be better for me to work on more traditional styles of composition. lil bitch
Many hugs. One of my trans friends hasn't come out to his grandma because she's like 90 and I think she has dementia. I'm not sure how his parents feel but I think it's going to take them a while.

(Also your dad is a philistine)

touchingcloth

In her dad's defence, the track Goblin made for him just involved swapping his name into that Boris Johnson is a Cunt song.

Lungpuddle

Quote from: GoblinAhFuckScary on December 30, 2020, 04:37:44 PM
What ACTUALLY sucked was the response to my presents. I don't really have money, but I make music. Spent about a hundred hours working on fifty minutes of ambient type music for my family. Thought I did a good job and it was genuinely heartfelt, but besides the others not being very bothered, my dad complained that it gave him a headache, was too droney, and that perhaps it would be better for me to work on more traditional styles of composition. lil bitch

Ah that's really shit. This probably doesn't mean a whole lot coming from an internet stranger, but your present sounds genuinely lovely and this is probably a self-involved thing to say but I'm kind of inspired to do the same sort of thing in the future. My sister and I used to write these books using family members and dogs as characters which we were proud of but when we read them out we just got a baffled shrug, which sort of hurt my feelings and we lost all motivation. So, if you'll allow me to pinch your idea, thanks very much!

tookish

Quote from: GoblinAhFuckScary on December 30, 2020, 04:37:44 PM
It was ok really. They fobbed up the name and things like that regularly, but I understand that it's a bit of a process and I ought to let them ease into it. Something which felt a teeny bit heartbreaking was my mum saying that I should not come out to my nearly 90 years old grandparents since they would not accept that. I didn't really imagine them is deeply conservative, but I fear intensely... basically the thought of them passing away hating me. Horrible thoughts.

I've hesitated whether to say this, but I lost my three remaining grandparents in 2017. On the behest of my mother, I was never out to her parents, and being on the other side of losing them, I think I might have preferred them passing away without understanding or accepting my identity, than the feeling that they never knew me wholly.

I fully understand your hesitation, as deeply as anyone can understand someone else's situation I think. And I am not being Harvey Milk, pushing you to batter down your closet doors before you're ready. Just please be aware that it can be very painful to never have the conversation, even if the conversation would also have been painful. As you will well know, there is no deeper anguish than that of being unknown.

Dr Trouser

One of my old colleagues, who happens to be trans,  just got an award in the New Years honours list, mainly for being fucking excellent in her job. This has restored my faith a bit in the honours system amongst all the tax exiles, sports prats and party donors.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

Bumping this thread because on Monday Jim Sterling revealed themselves in their femme non-binary finery, and they were so happy. Then yesterday PhilosphyTube revealed that she's trans, and she's so happy. And you don't have to understand what being non-binary is or what being trans is to understand Jim's giddy joy at a man asking them if they needed help with their bags, or Abigail's relief at finally no longer having to work at being a cis man.