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queer/trans comrades thread

Started by GoblinAhFuckScary, December 13, 2020, 07:07:40 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Pink Gregory

Jim's a good egg, on most fronts really.

Especially on having zero tolerance for workplace abuse in the games industry, which is a real blind spot for some people that I otherwise like.


GoblinAhFuckScary

So pleased for Jim and Abigail.

Haven't really been fussed about videogames for a decade, but I used to listen to Jim's probably now entirely forgotten Podcastle, hosted on Destructoid around 2008-ish, and it's remarkable how much personal development they seem to have gone through in that time and how much happier they evidently are.

Yaaas! It's Jim Stephanie fucking Sterling, sister.
It makes total sense. He's always been a total sassy bitch.
A nice added bonus is that it'll rile the bigoted gamer twats up something rotten!
He stuck a couple of frames of cardiacs RES in one of his videos a few years ago and that cemented it for me.
Good egg.

dannyfc

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2021/jan/30/sophie-acclaimed-avant-pop-producer-dies-aged-34

RIP SOPHIE who accidentally fell to her death on Friday night. Absolutely tragedy, no-one sounded like her when she first started releasing music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0rqR06E1WU

peanutbutter

My reaction the Philosophy Tube reveal she's been living as a woman for the last year was "ahhhh that explains what's been going on with her eyebrows for the last good while!"
Can totally see why she was reticent to go public though, gonna become an absolute beacon for cunts almost immediately; should be a fantastic public representative but it's gonna be exhausting stuff to endure. Was kinda surprised I didn't see the Glinner thread immediately go wild on here after that video came out tbh.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

Quote from: peanutbutter on January 31, 2021, 07:17:49 PM
My reaction the Philosophy Tube reveal she's been living as a woman for the last year was "ahhhh that explains what's been going on with her eyebrows for the last good while!"
Can totally see why she was reticent to go public though, gonna become an absolute beacon for cunts almost immediately; should be a fantastic public representative but it's gonna be exhausting stuff to endure. Was kinda surprised I didn't see the Glinner thread immediately go wild on here after that video came out tbh.
The joy and relief in Abigail's face and voice at finally being able to reveal her real self to her audience doesn't belong in the Glinner thread. It belongs somewhere uplifting because it is uplifting.

Mister Six

Quote from: dannyfc on January 31, 2021, 05:35:40 PM
https://www.theguardian.com/music/2021/jan/30/sophie-acclaimed-avant-pop-producer-dies-aged-34

RIP SOPHIE who accidentally fell to her death on Friday night. Absolutely tragedy, no-one sounded like her when she first started releasing music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0rqR06E1WU

Oh what the fuck? I only discovered her a couple of years back and was always looking forward to finding out what else she'd come up with. Fucking shit news.

Oz Oz Alice

This is a very supportive place so here goes: for years I've found myself defining myself in opposition to what a lot of people think I am and I don't know what I am but I know I'm not a man. I'm sort of navigating this about myself: where my total loathing of masculinity in myself comes from I don't know I just know it keeps getting more and more intense. If I could just give my cock to a trans guy I would do. There are parts of me that repulse me and I experience what (I don't know if it's this but it feels like) dysphoria when I see myself in the mirror, a twisted version of what I should be. Yet I know all this will pass and one day I'll be who I should be. There's nowhere else on the internet I could post this, I just have to get it out of my system.

petril

Quote from: Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse on January 31, 2021, 11:40:57 PM
The joy and relief in Abigail's face and voice at finally being able to reveal her real self to her audience doesn't belong in the Glinner thread. It belongs somewhere uplifting because it is uplifting.

totally, it should be kept clear of the taint of that thread. amplify the positivity of it all.

flotemysost

Solidarity for posting that Oz Oz Alice, even just putting those thoughts into words and typing them out must take some strength.

Mister Six

Quote from: Oz Oz Alice on February 21, 2021, 10:24:38 PM
This is a very supportive place so here goes: for years I've found myself defining myself in opposition to what a lot of people think I am and I don't know what I am but I know I'm not a man. I'm sort of navigating this about myself: where my total loathing of masculinity in myself comes from I don't know I just know it keeps getting more and more intense. If I could just give my cock to a trans guy I would do. There are parts of me that repulse me and I experience what (I don't know if it's this but it feels like) dysphoria when I see myself in the mirror, a twisted version of what I should be. Yet I know all this will pass and one day I'll be who I should be. There's nowhere else on the internet I could post this, I just have to get it out of my system.

Good on you for recognising and writing this down. Have you tried talking to a GP? I know health systems are a bit slow and shit about gender stuff, but it might be worth getting the ball rolling so you can speak to an expert who can help you explore this stuff a bit more and help with the self-repulsion whether or not it's gender dysphoria or some other kind of dysphoria. I imagine there will be support forums on that there internet that can help with this specific thing too.

Anyway, well done for taking this step! You're a strong person simply for doing this, and I think it's great that you have the sense to know a better future is ahead. Just remember that you are not alone on the path towards it.

GoblinAhFuckScary

Quote from: Oz Oz Alice on February 21, 2021, 10:24:38 PM
This is a very supportive place so here goes: for years I've found myself defining myself in opposition to what a lot of people think I am and I don't know what I am but I know I'm not a man. I'm sort of navigating this about myself: where my total loathing of masculinity in myself comes from I don't know I just know it keeps getting more and more intense. If I could just give my cock to a trans guy I would do. There are parts of me that repulse me and I experience what (I don't know if it's this but it feels like) dysphoria when I see myself in the mirror, a twisted version of what I should be. Yet I know all this will pass and one day I'll be who I should be. There's nowhere else on the internet I could post this, I just have to get it out of my system.

I have indeed found cab a very supportive place so i'm happy whenever this thread gets some supportive traffic. It's perfectly fine to vent about all this and I obviously have no idea at what point in your life you are with gender or anything really, but i'm totally up for chatting if you need that so please do if it's something that will help!

Schrodingers Cat

Not sure this is the right place for this, as it's mainly about Trans topics, but didn't really feel like it warranted its own thread and I thought it would get more attention here than the RL thread. Anyway, the Rugby League ref James Child has talked for the first time publicly about being gay on the BBC LGBT sports podcast  - which many in the game already knew and as he says it's not something he's hidden, but never spoken about directly before.

Like an idiot, I then decided to talk about my experiences as a gay rugby player on the TotalRL discussion of it. Only to be told that actually homophobia didn't exist anymore, it was worse in the 80s, and, most bizarrely, that it's worse for people with severe learning difficulties(?!). All of this in response to me explaining why representation in sport is significant for people like me, and stating that I've experienced (as I explicitly call it) low-level homophobia which made me feel uncomfortable as a closeted gay man. Why do people feel the need to deny the existence of homophobia when it clearly hasn't gone away, just because it used to be worse?[nb]I should point out that some posters got it and made the same point themselves about others just ignoring people's lived experience[/nb] It was the same when BAME players talked about racism and posters lined up to say it wasn't an issue anymore. Just really frustrating and depressing :-(

Sorry, needed to vent about that somewhere! This is why I don't post stuff online often, I just hate the fallout from it.

Oz Oz Alice

Given the treatment Gareth Thomas got a couple of years ago when he came out from several quarters I don't know how they can deny homophobia still exists in rugby. It's fucked up, pure and simple. I'd like to think it's wishful thinking on their part because no one wants to think of themselves as homophobic despite the fact most of us have some degree of internalised homophobia the same way as we do with racism, etc. but I don't know. Some people are just fucking ignorant. I'm an ear (or in this case an eye) if you need to vent more extensively.

Zetetic

At the risk of doubling down...
Quote from: Schrodingers Cat on February 25, 2021, 04:54:17 PM
severe learning difficulties
I think it's actually "learning disabilities"[nb]and a quick a look at the thread confirms this[/nb]. "Difficulties" generally refers to a specific, often mitigable, issue like dyslexia (now, in Britain, anyway).

Don't feel bad about getting this wrong, mind you - The Guardian did in an article about people essentially being neglected to death as consequence of their disabilities.

As you say, not really anything to do with your experiences (and it's weird that the other poster turned this into a matter of Marginalisation Top Trumps).

MikkiDisco

#226
So...

I knew from a very early age (somewhere between 3-5) that I was attracted by and drawn to the more feminine side of things. I also knew clearly that this was "wrong" in the accepted scheme of things (was born in the early 70s) so hid it away from everyone. Grew up pinching clothes and makeup from my mother, always with the thought that if I ever got caught my only option would be suicide (had to sit at the age of 10 or so with my dad while Danny la rue was on telly listening to him rant about how disgusting he was and how he should be hung, that kind of shit stays with you)

Because of the attitudes and lack of knowledge at the time kind of assumed I was gay until puberty hit and I realised I was attracted to girls not boys. I grew up, had a family, and tried to bury this side of me. Didn't work, obvs, but essentially until the age of 38 I never spoke about this to a single living soul. Lived in a haze of denial and self disgust all the while.

Me and my child's mum split up eventually and I ended up with a woman who not only brought this side out of me, but fucking LOVED me being this way to the point where she'd sulk if she came round and I was dressed like a bloke. We're not together anymore, she wanted kids and I didn't but we're still on great terms and I owe her more than she could ever know. Through her I not only learned to accept who I was but fucking well embrace it.

So now I'm happier than I ever thought I could be, the majority of friends I have know and fully accept this side of me in a way I never dreamed possible. Still don't really know where I want to end up, I don't really think of myself as a woman I guess, I don't have dysmorphia or anything, I just feel far more comfortable and at ease with myself when I'm presenting as female. While I do present myself as male the majority of time to the outside world, and keep who I am as a good secret I let those I trust most in on (as opposed to the grubby little secret i grew up thinking it was), I do from time to time allow the female me to venture into the outside world on an increasingly regular occurrence, and never present as male when I'm at home (working from home has been FUCKING BRILLIANT for me)

The one concern I still have is my son doesn't know, and it's a conversation I have no fucking clue how to even begin with, or if indeed it's one I ever want to have with him. I kind of think if he did know and was ok with it I'd be far far less likely to give a shit about keeping it secret to the world in general, but eh, we'll see.

Cheers for listening.

Mister Six

Good luck, Mikki. Kids these days seem to be less shit about things than the older generations, on the whole, so fingers crossed!

flotemysost

Yeah, without knowing anything about your son or how old he is (I'm guessing either teenage or younger, maybe, going by your age? My maths is terrible), I'd agree that children and young people have access to/are surrounded by increasingly positive and informed messaging around gender identity topics and hopefully are likely to be more open minded.

I'm not suggesting this is the same thing at all, but FWIW, in the mid-00s, as a teenager who wasn't especially well versed or invested in gender identity issues, I accidentally walked in on my (cishet) dad putting on a bit of make up and nail polish and while he was absolutely mortified, I was just like "eh, whatever, doesn't bother me" (to be honest I was mainly just relieved, as there are far worse potential visions to be greeted with when a parent bellows "DON'T COME IN!" as you walk through the door). But seriously, I'm proud and grateful that I have a dad who's open minded and cool about stuff like that, rather than some dull close-minded bigot.

I do appreciate there's traditionally pressure for dads to provide a sort of prototype of masculinity to their sons and I can imagine that must make the prospect of that conversation more daunting, but as Mister Six said, times are changing (thank god) and hopefully it won't be a big deal to him. Fingers crossed for you too.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

Last night Abigail Thorne (Philosophy Tube) released her first full video since she came out. She had this to say on Twitter:

QuoteI cried a little on set when I looked at the monitor cause this is the full first episode since I came out. It's ME, not the strange broken robot who used to be there! After much pain (and meticulous planning) I finally get to live, it's joyous!

Shoulders?-Stomach!

I wonder if the hostility towards transpeople is in part provoked by resentment and actually, on one level jealousy. The jealousy that this group have demonstrated bravery, taken on stigma and conquered a number of considerable social and psychological barriers in order to move closer towards the life they want to live.

Meanwhile those looking on haven't done this in their lives. Most us haven't. I include myself. They have repressed their own desires, they have conformed, they have 'played by the rules', 'settled down' and not kicked against any system that has put barriers up between them and the lives they would have ideally chosen. They are then confronted by these others, and instead of admiring their determination and resolve (as it seems most people here do, and I do) they feel bitter. In the case of TERFs, bitter at having to adjust to being in a position of relative privilege, in the case of the Glinners of the world, bitter because their own levels of conservatism and repression are stupendous to behold, and so we are forced to watch as they rage against the dying of their own light.

You often see this as a reaction to non-conformism. The example of naturism seems potentially useful here. Naturism is most commonly attacked on two fronts: 1) by sexualising it to make it seems dangerous and 2) by amplifying the supposedly 'repulsive' bodies we are meant to be ashamed of and ridiculing it, often through shaming older people and fat people. Both methods are intended to make us disgusted with sex and disgusted by human bodies, neither of which we have any rational reason to feel. It is the product of suffocating levels of repression. You can almost imagine a Linehan penned half hour sitcom on the subject. Both of these chime with attacks on transitioning and transpeople: sexualisation and taboo including claims of paedophilia and rape which appear to be totally unfounded, and body shaming, by comparing their bodies to - funny this - thin, classically feminine and conventionally beautiful women. (But they're the real feminists, eh?)

This seems like a pivotal choice when confronted with people braver than ourselves. Do we admire them and strive to find their courage, or do we slip into a recriminating. self-hating form of jealousy that perpetuates a spiral of stigma and abuse?





Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: bgmnts on March 06, 2021, 01:21:09 PM
Nah they're just cunts.

Jews or Israelis, or the Israeli government? ;)


wooders1978

YouTuber joe goes has come out as trans - now lily

Retinend

Here's a link to the relevant video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGgVoqr78gk
"The Cost of Costumes" - Joe Goes

She manages to add levity by maintaining the "presenter's intonation", and cutting to some funny clips from her YouTubing career, even when she's talking about some very heavy stuff. I never knew this channel but I like her dark sense of humour a lot.

Re: the "jealousy" theory... I don't relate to it. When I was of a hostile disposition to trans people it was because I was ignorant and I was too arrogant to imagine that it was a case of me having a blindspot, rather than me not knowing something, and therefore the existence of trans people wounded my pride, in a perverse way.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

QuoteRe: the "jealousy" theory... I don't relate to it. When I was of a hostile disposition to trans people it was because I was ignorant and I was too arrogant to imagine that it was a case of me having a blindspot, rather than me not knowing something, and therefore the existence of trans people wounded my pride, in a perverse way.

I was suggesting jealousy was a contributing factor for some people rather than the one overriding factor applying to all people.

Retinend

Sure, I wouldn't dismiss it as being the motivation for others.

GoblinAhFuckScary

Solidarity MikkiDisco!

Genuinely fucking fabulous hearing people like you getting to be so much happier.

Hi yes hello thank you I belong in here THANK yYOU

Is it just me or IS IT not just me... why the fuck do 'cis"""" people love to talk so much shit about me to my FACE personally???!?

What the fuck are chrommmizonns? Who is a bathroom? What is a urination war???


When will this never-ending obsession with ME PERSONALLY end???


I swear to Christ - when I am queen, you will be first against the wall. You cunts better hope I don't become all powerful...

X