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March 28, 2024, 07:53:47 PM

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Can't stand 'em

Started by kalowski, December 15, 2020, 10:25:23 PM

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Jockice

Quote from: shiftwork2 on December 21, 2020, 10:47:02 PM
More info required.

Nothing special at all. Mind you, it was only a very brief glimpse.


New page I've also shaken hands with a politician called Hunt.

shiftwork2

As a former journalist you will respect me for not letting this go.

WHICH NAKED HUNTS

Menu

Most of Jockice's anecdotes on here end with someone angrily demanding he reveal which celebrity's genitals he saw.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: DrGreggles on December 21, 2020, 10:40:52 PM
Gareth Hunt wasn't a pop star.

Early Vic Reeves considers rewrite.

Jockice

#214
God, I dunno. You can't even make an enigmatic comment about the only two pop stars you've ever seen naked having the same surname  without people going on about it. But anyway:

1) Miles. Went to see The Wonder Stuff at Sheffield City Hall in the mid 90s. Must have been their last tour before they split. Ended up missing part of the show because I went to the pub with members of The Mission. But then we all went to do some ligging (as I believe it's called) backstage at the venue. The first door we opened was a changing room, inside was Mr Hunt getting changed out of his sweaty stage gear. We got him just at the minute when he had nowt on. We made our excuses and left. He joined us shortly afterwards at the backstage party. Seemed like an okay bloke actually. But then I didn't mention my theory that The Bass Thing had been the real talent in the band and they'd been shit since he left.

2) Crispin. Ponds Forge sauna, also mid 90. That's a legitimate sauna by the way attached to the sports centre. Although there were quite a few obviously married secretly gay clients. I was neither. I'd just go after a swim. Anyway I was in there one day and who should stroll in but the erstwhile Longpig. I'd known him for years anyway so we had a chat during which he explained that he'd been overdoing it a bit recently and had come down to try and get some of the toxins out of his system. I usually wore trunks in there (aside from having nothing to write home about, there were a couple of regulars who would try to feel you up given half the chance. I once bumped into one of them when he was in town with his wife. He didn't know where to look). Crispin however, had no such qualms. He was clad in nothing except purple nail narnish .He had nothing to be ashamed of. Little-known fact: he'd been given human growth hormone as a teenager. I could have done with some of that. For my nob at least.

So there we go. And the politician I shook hands with was Jeremy Hunt. But it was in the early days of his parliamentary career and it was at a formal do. I haven't washed my hand since. However, I have had it amputated.

SteveDave

Quote from: buttgammon on December 19, 2020, 12:55:36 AM
The sense of goodwill for a band that's from your area is enough to make most people like them but it turns me off. To be fair, nobody really big has come from my neck of the woods but some Welsh people seem to feel it's their duty to like the Stereophonics for patriotic reasons, whereas I just hate them harder for it. They're especially awful, Billy Joel levels of pointlessness. I can't stand the Manic Street Preachers either, thinking about it.

The Fornix are hero-worshipped in Welsh Wales because they're still going and you can go and see them and they'll do "Dakota" and the one about the photograph. Same with the Marnix. "We don't talk about love, we only wanna get drunk"

buttgammon

Quote from: SteveDave on December 22, 2020, 09:24:25 AM
The Fornix are hero-worshipped in Welsh Wales because they're still going and you can go and see them and they'll do "Dakota" and the one about the photograph. Same with the Marnix. "We don't talk about love, we only wanna get drunk"

The same goes in not-so-Welsh Wales (i.e. Wrexham), especially with the former. They always seem to be playing at The Racecourse when I go home.

dex

Quote from: bushwick on December 21, 2020, 07:04:27 PM
Galliano
Lightning Seeds
Carter USM
A large proportion of 'conscious' rap

^^^ the common denominator being "SMUG"

Good call on Lightning Seeds. Wee for fannies.

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

I've worked as a journalist for 22 years. I have met several famous people. Loads. Believe you me, brothers and sisters, I've rubbed shoulders with 'em all. But I have no stories, no mildly amusing anecdotes to share. Jockice, your posts confirm that I'm an antisocial prick who would rather hide in a cupboard than spend any more time with people than I need to.

kalowski

Quote from: bushwick on December 21, 2020, 07:04:27 PM
Galliano
Lightning Seeds
Carter USM
Three very good choices. Especially Carter. Shove Chumbawumba into that grave too.

Jockice

Quote from: Ballad of Ballard Berkley on December 22, 2020, 10:59:13 AM
I've worked as a journalist for 22 years. I have met several famous people. Loads. Believe you me, brothers and sisters, I've rubbed shoulders with 'em all. But I have no stories, no mildly amusing anecdotes to share. Jockice, your posts confirm that I'm an antisocial prick who would rather hide in a cupboard than spend any more time with people than I need to.

Oh don't worry. I've also done my fair share of hiding in wardrobes. In fact I believe my showbiz mate Jarvis once wrote a song about it,

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

He only went with her because she looked like you.

Jockice


daf

#223
Quote from: Jockice on December 22, 2020, 11:15:42 AM
Oh don't worry. I've also done my fair share of hiding in wardrobes.

Danny Baker, during his time on the NME, hid in a wardrobe in Talking Heads dressing room . . . the upshot of this was him overhearing David Byrne (thinking he was alone) addressing a plate of chocolate fingers* with the words "You're all my children now!"

- - - - - - - - - -
* (I forget what it was exactly . . .  something on the rider - bottles of beer probably)

Brundle-Fly

Didn't Andrew Collings once at a hotel press junket get beckoned into a wardrobe by a certain big-nosed, spiky-haired, leopardskin loving, ex-mod, Scottish football & model railway fanatic? Allegedly, the London rock star asked Andrew if he wanted to join him for some bugle.

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: JaDanketies on December 21, 2020, 07:33:06 PM
What's particularly interesting about Babymetal - and I agree, to me it sounds like a mess - is that criticism of them is often painted as misogynistic and intolerant. It's not like Oathbreaker or Gouge Away get their critics slammed as misogynistic in the Huffington Post - perhaps cos they're actually good. Or Nightwish - perhaps because criticism of Nightwish is taken as legitimate.

Perhaps it's because The Man created BabyMetal and The Man also writes in the Huffington Post. Maybe BabyMetal are targeted at centrists who don't go to gigs.

Ahhh, but its not them I'm being intolerant of, it's the metal.   They can stay, the metal can GTFO.

For years I was a fan of Morning Musume and a few years before Babymetal were created there was a fan who churned out his own fan mixes of Morning Musume songs by adding a load of pounding drums and guitar and it sounded like Babymetal.  I hated those as well.  Most of the mixes were pretty competent (except the few where the timing was off), but it just wasn't my thing.

Spiteface

Quote from: buttgammon on December 22, 2020, 10:18:48 AM
The same goes in not-so-Welsh Wales (i.e. Wrexham), especially with the former. They always seem to be playing at The Racecourse when I go home.

The continued success of the Stereophonics is a mystery to me. As far as I can tell, "being Welsh" is apparently enough for them to keep filling arenas in Cardiff and the like, maybe somewhere outdoors in the summer, for tossers to wave flags around.

Custard

The first Stereophonics record was pretty good. Fairly decent lyrics married to fairly decent tunes

The second one had a few passable moments, including the best thing I think they ever did, The Bartender and The Thief

It's all arse pebbles from then on. Though the Dakota single from 2005 was alright

But yeah, they're pretty fucking bad. And Kelly Jones seems like a dreadful cunt

kalowski

Quote from: Shameless Custard on December 22, 2020, 07:43:12 PM
The first Stereophonics record was pretty good. Fairly decent lyrics married to fairly decent tunes
Insert rolling around laughing emoticon.

Custard

It was alright! Though admittedly I've not heard it for probably 15 years at least

Was alright when I was 17!

kalowski

Quote from: Shameless Custard on December 22, 2020, 08:10:13 PM
It was alright! Though admittedly I've not heard it for probably 15 years at least

Was alright when I was 17!
I can't talk. I own all four solo Kiss records.

Gulftastic

Quote from: Shameless Custard on December 22, 2020, 08:10:13 PM
It was alright! Though admittedly I've not heard it for probably 15 years at least

Was alright when I was 17!

No, I'm with you. It's decent.

They were like Oasis. All their good stuff was written when they were chasing fame. Pretty much as soon as they found it, turned to shit. I mean 'Mr Songwriter' for fucks sake.

The Culture Bunker

I got the appeal of that first Stereophonics album, as I also come from a small town in the arse end of nowhere. I thought the music was dreary in the same way Oasis were, but I sort of got where he was coming from lyrically.

I remember the second album had one song on it I thought was 'alright', and that when I went to LA in 2005, that 'Dakota' song was everywhere for some reason.

Brundle-Fly

Quote from: Gulftastic on December 22, 2020, 08:13:26 PM
No, I'm with you. It's decent.

They were like Oasis. All their good stuff was written when they were chasing fame. Pretty much as soon as they found it, turned to shit. I mean 'Mr Songwriter' for fucks sake.

You mean, 'Mr Writer'? Their whinge about music journalists. To my shame, the only thing I ever enjoyed by the because of the niice string arrangement.

Gulftastic


Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: Gulftastic on December 22, 2020, 08:58:43 PM
I did mean that. Doh.

My " Early Vic Reeves" post might have subliminally entered your head.


Jockice

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on December 22, 2020, 08:47:31 PM
You mean, 'Mr Writer'? Their whinge about music journalists. To my shame, the only thing I ever enjoyed by the because of the niice string arrangement.

A lyrical masterpiece.

Are you so lonely?
You don't even know me.
But you'd like to stone me.
Er...give the dog a bone, me.

Spiteface

See, Noel Gallagher at least had some kind of way with a home/alone/phone rhyming dictionary.


Custard

That's a bit like Starsailor's Silence Is Easy, which apparently is aimed at Noel Gallagher after he said they were a bit shit

Silence is easy
It just becomes me
Why do you hate me?
You don't even know meeee

YOU DONT KNOW ME MAN SO LEAVE MY MUSIC ALONE