Can't stand 'em

[pigamus]

A lyrical masterpiece.

Are you so lonely?
You don't even know me.
But you'd like to stone me.
Er...give the dog a bone, me.

Bit of a strange argument. No, I don't know you, but I can listen to your turgid music,which you sell to people for money,and then say it's shit. I don't need to come round your  house for that,do I?

[Jockice]

It also contains the line: "You've just enough, in my own view, education to perform."

Well I'm glad you've clarified that Kelly. Otherwise I'd have to show you the certificates for my academic qualifications and let the public decide.

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

I've always disliked that Kelly Jones fella. Face like a man being driven to Rhyl in order to be beaten with baseball bats by a family of vengeful pikeys.

[dex]

If its been mentioned before then fair fucks, Coldplay need to be on this list. Where to start with the reasons why? It is aural dross.

[pigamus]

It also contains the line: "You've just enough, in my own view, education to perform."

Well I'm glad you've clarified that Kelly. Otherwise I'd have to show you the certificates for my academic qualifications and let the public decide.

I also love the line, "Mr Writer, why don't you tell it like it is". Like, he's saying you're dogshit and he'd like to shoot you and he's NOT telling it like it is?

[kalowski]

If its been mentioned before then fair fucks, Coldplay need to be on this list. Where to start with the reasons why? It is aural dross.

Indeed.

[Jockice]

I also love the line, "Mr Writer, why don't you tell it like it is". Like, he's saying you're dogshit and he'd like to shoot you and he's NOT telling it like it is?

But why don't I tell it like it REALLY is?

[Gulftastic]

'Cos they don't let us use the word 'cunt' in this magazine, Kelly.'

[non capisco]

Re: 'Mr. Writer'. I remember bursting out laughing at their TV appearance on The O Zone to promote that fucking dirge when one of them said "We added a clavichord to give it that funky Stevie Wonder feel." Mission not accomplished, lads.

[Custard]

Clavi-bored more like!

[Jockice]

The first time I saw them live was when More Life In A Tramp's Vest was out and I assumed they were some sort of comedy band. Which of course they were.

Mr Writer is of course the worst single of the century so far but I've quite liked some of the others. So for me they don't fit into the can't stand em category. I can think of much much worse bands.

[flotemysost]

That's a bit like Starsailor's Silence Is Easy, which apparently is aimed at Noel Gallagher after he said they were a bit shit

Silence is easy
It just becomes me
Why do you hate me?
You don't even know meeee

YOU DONT KNOW ME MAN SO LEAVE MY MUSIC ALONE

That's got nothing on follow-up single Four To The Floor - check out this corker:

Four to the floor, I was sure
That she would be my girl
We'd rent a little world
We'd have a little girl


Mate

[jobotic]

There's not many irrational reasons in this thread.

I fucking hate a certain band because my ex of years and years ago ended up with a bloke who's friends with them. Never even heard them. Irrational AND cunty.

[The Culture Bunker]

I used to buy Uncut magazine, I suspect primarily for their decent free CDs, but what really made me pack it in was their bizarre love of Starsailor and Ed Hamell. They tried to make out it was some golden era when I all I heard was horrendous acoustic whining.

[Custard]

NME were worse, trying to big up Starsailor, Turin Brakes etc and calling the movement "Stool Rock"

[Jockice]

There's not many irrational reasons in this thread.

I fucking hate a certain band because my ex of years and years ago ended up with a bloke who's friends with them. Never even heard them. Irrational AND cunty.

I couldn't listen to Eels or Super Furry Animals for years because an ex of mine (THAT ex) was a fan. Of course, after our chance meeting earlier this year - first time for 22 years lest we forget - and burying the hatchet, I suppose I could listen to them again. But I think the moment has passed.

[Brundle-Fly]

But why don't I tell it like it REALLY is?

The 12" version should include Neil Kulkarnii's Chart Music podcast rant about his boss at Melody Maker.

[Jockice]

The 12" version should include Neil Kulkarnii's Chart Music podcast rant about his boss at Melody Maker.

Was that Mark Sutherland? And are he and Steve brothers? Because it would be pretty unusual for two unrelated people with the same not particularly common surname to both end up editing national music papers. If they are siblings did they make people quiver?

Ironically I have a cousin whose surname is Sutherland but he doesn't have any brothers. Or indeed sisters. He's an only child!

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

The bastard MM editor was Mark Sutherland, yes, but he's not related to Steve.

[Jockice]

The bastard MM editor was Mark Sutherland, yes, but he's not related to Steve.

How strange. Bet he's not even related to my cousin Stuart either.

[Blue Jam]

James
The Beautiful South

just something really annoying about them

The voices? Not a fan here either. I know their singers have strong voices and can sing in tune and in time and all that but I find them all so horrible to listen to.

Got a friend who is a massive fan of James. So far I have managed to keep schtum around her.

[Blue Jam]

Has anyone mentioned Radiohead yet? I never liked them, but I think the worst thing is people reacting with disbelief or trying to convert you u: "Nah, you can't hate them, you just don't get them"; "Are you sure you really hate their music and not just Thom Yorke's voice?"; "Surely you can at least admit they're good, right?". No, I really do think they're horrible, honest, and why do you even give a fuck? It doesn't matter, please leave me alone. Also Paranoid Android is their own Bohemian Rhapsody*

I see KISS have been mentioned. I recently fell down a bit of a Bill Hicks rabbit hole and found an article slating him for having the nerve to sneer about pop music while being a fan of "the entirely merit-free KISS" and that description made me giggle. Absolutely spot-on. And Gene Simmons is a cunt.

^{*Unlike lots of other people here I don't mind a bit of Queen}

[Ferris]

NME were worse, trying to big up Starsailor, Turin Brakes etc and calling the movement "Stool Rock"

To be fair "stool rock" is on the money depending on your definition of stool.

[Spiteface]

Wasn't "Stool Rock" also called something like "New Acoustic Movement"?

Haha, Stool, Movement..

Has anyone mentioned Radiohead yet? I never liked them, but I think the worst thing is people reacting with disbelief or trying to convert you u: "Nah, you can't hate them, you just don't get them"; "Are you sure you really hate their music and not just Thom Yorke's voice?"; "Surely you can at least admit they're good, right?". No, I really do think they're horrible, honest, and why do you even give a fuck? It doesn't matter, please leave me alone. Also Paranoid Android is their own Bohemian Rhapsody*

I used to like Radiohead, then came to hate them and have arrived as kind of liking them again. That middle bit was in part due to certain fans. You'd swear blind Thom Yorke invented sound, to listen to that lot.

You're absolutely right about Radiohead fans, they also happen to be responsible for the WANKIEST comments on YouTube.

[Ferris]

Radiohead are great you lunatics.

[Blue Jam]

I used to like Radiohead, then came to hate them and have arrived as kind of liking them again. That middle bit was in part due to certain fans. You'd swear blind Thom Yorke invented sound, to listen to that lot.

It was specifically the fans who had never heard of them before OK Computer and then Thom Yorke became their Messiah and any criticism of Him was akin to blasphemy.

Also their "There's always been an Autechre aspect to our music, actually" phase. For those of us who are aware they didn't invent electronica it was as cringe-making as that time Blur stopped singing in Mockney accents about bank Holidays and quangos and suddenly got really into Pavement and American lo-fi.

Never liked Song 2 either. That American lo-fi guitar sound with a camp English "woo-hoo!" over it. Nope. Doesn't work. The version on Rock Profiles where David Walliams is playing Alex James and mincing about - that's how I heard it from the start:

https://youtu.be/D8qOh_bpEZc

[Ferris]

Song 2 is one of the worst pieces of music ever recorded. Surely there is no debate there.[nb]and I quite like Blur. They're not amazing or anything, but they have a few tunes and are better than Oasis, but less good than Pavement. Ok cheers.[/nb]

[Icehaven]

I used to like Radiohead, then came to hate them and have arrived as kind of liking them again. That middle bit was in part due to certain fans. You'd swear blind Thom Yorke invented sound, to listen to that lot.

You're absolutely right about Radiohead fans, they also happen to be responsible for the WANKIEST comments on YouTube.

A few weeks back I was listening to the Adam Buxton podcast with Johnny Greenwood, and they're in France or Italy or somewhere on the day of a Radiohead gig, and at one point a man approaches them and very earnestly says something (in broken English) like "You have no idea how important you are, you're just...you're so important." and other similar things. Greenwood is polite and thanks him of course, and I'm probably being uncharitable as it can be difficult to employ nuance in a foreign language but Jesus unless you're a total egomaniac it must be excruciating to have strangers say stuff like that to you on a presumably regular basis. I actually like Radiohead a lot but I can see how that kind of fandom could put people off, no one's that good.

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

Radiohead went abruptly from my god tier level of bands to my "I can't even listen to a minute of their stuff" tier. Just take your moping dirges and never trouble my ears again Yorke you whining shit.

[buttgammon]

I do like Radiohead but not as much as a lot of people, so despite listening to them and particularly liking Kid A and Amnesiac, I still think they're overrated.