Topic: Weird spam adverts

[Sonny_Jim]

May I present ]this beauty of a headline:

SPECIAL REPORT: Rebel Wilson’s Latest Investment Has Experts in Awe And Big Banks Terrified

They've even dressed it up to look like an Australian news website.

(ABC News) - Australian comedian, actress and producer Rebel Wilson has made a name for herself as a brash straight-talker who doesn’t mind being honest about how she makes her money.

Last week, she appeared on Sunrise and announced a new "wealth loophole" which she says can transform anyone into a millionaire within 3-4 months. Wilson urged everyone in Australia to jump on this amazing opportunity before the big banks shut it down for good.

And sure enough, minutes after the interview was over, National Australia Bank called to stop Wilson 's interview from being aired- it was already too late.

"What's made me successful is jumping into new opportunies quickly- without any hesitation. And right now, my number one money-maker is a new cryptocurrency auto-trading program called Bitcoin Platform . It's the single biggest opportunity I've seen in my entire lifetime to build a small fortune fast. I urge everyone to check this out before the banks shut it down."

I'm assuming they just autogenerate the celebrities name and location stuff for different regions, but the idea of Rebel Wilson going all foamy at the mouth on a breakfast TV show about bitcoin just seemed amusing.  With a couple of subtle tweaks it's almost content for Viz.

EDIT:  Borked the link, should have taken a screenshot.

[Inspector Norse]

This stuff got traced back to a troll factory in Kiev by one of the big Swedish broadsheets, but the authorities here at least have been happily sitting on their backsides going "not our problem mate" letting the scammers con old biddies out of their life savings.

This was real, though.

[the]

EDIT:  Borked the link, should have taken a screenshot.

Didn't click on that, but if that's the actual link from the advert, don't post it here, there'll be trackers and allsorts on that.

[paruses]

I usually get similar but about Bear Grylls and why he will never work in TV again. Apparently he revealed it is possible to invest in Bitcoin during an interview. I didn't see the interview.

[Sonny_Jim]

Yeah fair point.  Wish I'd taken a screenshot now, it had pictures and everything.  I think the problem is that with stuff like QAnon & Anti-vax, the idea of 'celebrity believes insane idea' isn't actually funny anymore :(

[Fambo Number Mive]

It's quite disturbing how many dodgy looking adverts there are at the bottom of stories on some local newspaper sites. I wonder how many of them are scams.

[Sonny_Jim]

Ok, managed to get a copy of it this time:

SPECIAL REPORT: Rebel Wilson’s Latest Investment Has Experts in Awe And Big Banks Terrified
Australia citizens are already raking in millions of dollars from home using this "wealth loophole" - but is it legitimate?

(ABC News) - Australian comedian, actress and producer Rebel Wilson has made a name for herself as a brash straight-talker who doesn’t mind being honest about how she makes her money.

Last week, she appeared on Sunrise and announced a new "wealth loophole" which she says can transform anyone into a millionaire within 3-4 months. Wilson urged everyone in Australia to jump on this amazing opportunity before the big banks shut it down for good.

And sure enough, minutes after the interview was over, National Australia Bank called to stop Wilson 's interview from being aired- it was already too late.

Here's exactly what happened:

Sunrise co-host Samantha Armytage invited Wilson on the show to share any tips she had on building wealth and an Australian television presenter dropped a bomb:

"What's made me successful is jumping into new opportunies quickly- without any hesitation. And right now, my number one money-maker is a new cryptocurrency auto-trading program called Bitcoin Platform . It's the single biggest opportunity I've seen in my entire lifetime to build a small fortune fast. I urge everyone to check this out before the banks shut it down."

Sunrise co-host Samantha Armytage was left in disbelief as Wilson pulled out his phone and showed viewers how much money she's making through this new money-making program that now has everyone in Australia whispering.



The segment ran out of time before Wilson could elaborate, so we got an exclusive interview with the man himself to learn more about this controversial opportunity.

ABC NEWS EXCLUSIVE WITH REBEL WILSON
"You may have heard about this new cryptocurrency investment platform called Bitcoin Platform that’s helping regular people in Australia, Asia and North America build fortunes overnight. You may be skeptical because it sounds too good to be true."

Wilson continues:

“I get that because I thought the same thing when a trusted friend told me about it. But after seeing with my own eyes how much money she was making, I had to try it for myself.

I'm glad I tried it because it was some of the biggest and easiest money I've ever made. I'm talking tens of thousands of AUD a day on autopilot. it’s literally the fastest way to make a windfall of cash right now. And it’s not going to last for much longer when more and more people find out about it. Or when banks shut it down for good.”

WHAT EXACTLY IS BITCOIN PLATFORM AND HOW DOES IT WORK?
The idea behind Bitcoin Platform is straightforward: To allow the average person to cash in on the cryptocurrency boom which is still the most lucrative investment of the 21st century, despite what most people think.



Although Bitcoin price has dropped from it’s all time high of $20,000 per Bitcoin, traders are still making a killing. Why? Because there are thousands of other cryptocurrencies besides Bitcoin that being traded for huge profits on a daily basis.

Some of these cryptocurrencies include Ripple, Ethereum, Monero, Zcash and Ripple and they are still making returns of over 10,000% and higher for ordinary people in Australia.

It's blatently obvious to me now that they've just literally swapped out someone elses name for Rebel Wilsons.  For example:

The segment ran out of time before Wilson could elaborate, so we got an exclusive interview with the man himself to learn more about this controversial opportunity.

Although I'm loving those mini 'mob boss' stories.  The ones where you get the option to spare or kill the boss.  Love seeing the twist at the end.

[beanheadmcginty]

I had exactly the same advert once but they had used James fucking Corden instead. Desolation.

[BlodwynPig]

Bill Oddie reveals secret to eternal wealth.

blah Lorraine on GMTV blah blah goose that lays the golden eggs blah blah

[Jockice]

I usually get similar but about Bear Grylls and why he will never work in TV again. Apparently he revealed it is possible to invest in Bitcoin during an interview. I didn't see the interview.

I get him AND Jeremy Clarkson. So think yourself lucky.

[ZoyzaSorris]

I seem to keep getting ‘bowels - a simple trick to empty them completely.’ Funny that I only seem to have been getting these since Biggy disappeared from the forum, suspicious. I’m not sure what I have done to deserve being profiled as a colon-hypochondriac, I don’t spend hours googling rectal malfunctions or on piles forums or anything.

Also just got ‘Peter Kay Is really skinny now and looks gorgeous’ accompanied with a picture of the infamous garlic bread botherer looking like a busted sack of gravel in a woolly hat, which felt like something churned out by a desolation/click bait HS Art crossover thread.

[flotemysost]

Also just got ‘Peter Kay Is really skinny now and looks gorgeous’ accompanied with a picture of the infamous garlic bread botherer looking like a busted sack of gravel in a woolly hat, which felt like something churned out by a desolation/click bait HS Art crossover thread.

Was just about to post the same, but with Mark Labbett ("The Beast" of The Chase fame). The ads I see always include the creepy addendum "...and we can't stop staring".

Slightly different topic, but I'm always amused by the targeted ads on YouTube depending on what I'm watching. Something "girly"? ClearBlue pregnancy tests a-go-go! Something "blokey"? I can meet single Asian women near me, apparently! I don't have a YouTube login and frequently clear my browser cache so it's always entertaining seeing the algorithm scrabble to create a profile.

[thenoise]

I always get Susan Boyle for the weight loss / looks like a model now one.

Ten years ago I used to get adverts for STD positive dating and extra marital affairs. Now I get anti hair loss, wrinkles and stubborn belly fat. Another ten years it'll be will writing and funeral insurance. I'm hurtling helplessly towards grave, and google reminds me of it daily.

[Dex Sawash]

I love the simple trick to empty you bowels completely one. Usually has a couple boiled eggs in the image. I imagine you pop them up and they come thu ndering back out. Simple.

[buttgammon]

Whenever I look at The Guardian, there are ads for these weird crotchless pyjamas. I think they're supposed to be sexy but they look awful.

[Rizla]

I get those empty bowels ones but it's always bananas, often sliced in boiling water. Maybe you irrigate yourself with the egg/banana steeped water?

[Johnny Yesno]

Whenever I look at The Guardian, there are ads for these weird crotchless pyjamas. I think they're supposed to be sexy but they look awful.

I think you're supposed to use them in conjunction with the empty bowels trick. Google ads knows you, gramps.

[Poobum]

I'm always fascinated by The Chase clickbait articles, they're never ending. Poor intern having to churn that out. I do like The Chase, but ITV don't half load it up with the tackiest cringe ads and sponsorships. Just endless bits of Shaun Wallace failing his charisma checks.

[Paul Calf]

This was real, though.

The City watchdog has said the bitcoin industry is unregulated and investors could be wiped out. Jamie Dimon, the chief executive of JP Morgan, has called them a fraud and said the entire bitcoin system will blow up. Even Vladimir Putin, Russia’s president, has said cryptocurrencies are risky and used by criminals.

Do you think they managed to keep a straight face while supplying these quotes?

[flotemysost]

Whenever I look at The Guardian, there are ads for these weird crotchless pyjamas. I think they're supposed to be sexy but they look awful.

The ones with the weird detachable hatch on the arse? Yeah, I can't figure out if they're supposed to be erotic or practical (though for what, I don't know. Taking a nocturnal shit while camping and it's too cold to get fully undressed?).

[buttgammon]

The ones with the weird detachable hatch on the arse? Yeah, I can't figure out if they're supposed to be erotic or practical (though for what, I don't know. Taking a nocturnal shit while camping and it's too cold to get fully undressed?).

I honestly can't tell. It would be more convincing that they were there for excretory purposes if they weren't (rather tackily) branded as sexy in every other way; surely there's nothing erotic about having a hatch for shitting though?

[flotemysost]

Hmm, it's sort of semi-erotic in the way that a lot of the weird stuff you see on on sites like Wish, which may or may not be sex gear, is. I mean, the model is attractive but they're fairly normal looking PJs otherwise. Could be hatch for bumming/doggy style of course but they seem so utilitarian otherwise. Maybe that's the kink, bumming a woman while she's fully dressed in workaday winter pyjamas.

[BlodwynPig]

Hmm, it's sort of semi-erotic in the way that a lot of the weird stuff you see on on sites like Wish, which may or may not be sex gear, is. I mean, the model is attractive but they're fairly normal looking PJs otherwise. Could be hatch for bumming/doggy style of course but they seem so utilitarian otherwise. Maybe that's the kink, bumming a woman while she's fully dressed in workaday winter pyjamas.

Cold, dead eyes reflected in the condensation misted single glazing

[buttgammon]

Hmm, it's sort of semi-erotic in the way that a lot of the weird stuff you see on on sites like Wish, which may or may not be sex gear, is. I mean, the model is attractive but they're fairly normal looking PJs otherwise. Could be hatch for bumming/doggy style of course but they seem so utilitarian otherwise. Maybe that's the kink, bumming a woman while she's fully dressed in workaday winter pyjamas.

That sounds so grim (and plausible).

[idunnosomename]

there are always so many grannies in penwortham who want to have sex, apparently

[jenna appleseed]

I seem to keep getting ‘bowels - a simple trick to empty them completely.’ Funny that I only seem to have been getting these since Biggy disappeared from the forum, suspicious. I’m not sure what I have done to deserve being profiled as a colon-hypochondriac, I don’t spend hours googling rectal malfunctions or on piles forums or anything.

They always seem to involve a picture of a banana - does the simple trick involve sticking one up your arse?

[Small Potatoes]

The IP address-detecting thing is obviously a bit flawed - I keep getting things like "The price of cremation in Bovey Tracey will shock you!" and "Speedboats in Bovey Tracey are surprisingly affordable!".  No idea where Bovey Tracey is - according to Google maps it's a good hundred miles from Cardiff as the crow flies -  but the internet thinks I live there.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

You won't BELIEVE what Bruce Forsyth looks like now!

[icehaven]

I saw one the other day that literally said "(name of female celebrity) is so ugly now." Which is charming .

[Sebastian Cobb]

I'm always fascinated by The Chase clickbait articles, they're never ending. Poor intern having to churn that out. I do like The Chase, but ITV don't half load it up with the tackiest cringe ads and sponsorships. Just endless bits of Shaun Wallace failing his charisma checks.

Just coming in to again post that when I worked for the Scottish version of ITV there was a blanket deal with RBS to pre roll their advert on every catch-up show, but they emailed us and said "here, any chance you can not do that for Jeremy Kyle please?".