Is there anything worse than having a crush on someone? (Redux)

[Buelligan]

christ. man. I'm going to have stop reading this thread.

You know, the more I read this thread, the more I think living in now works the absolute best.  Seems that a lot of the pain comes from planning, thinking, dreaming, too many steps ahead all the time. 

Enjoy, explore, the feelings of attraction for their own delicious umami, without shoveling it down, desperate for dessert and possibly, the desert, deserted.  That is my advice and may the joint flexible gods of sex and companionship smile upon your endeavours.

[BlodwynPig]

You know, the more I read this thread, the more I think living in now works the absolute best.  Seems that a lot of the pain comes from planning, thinking, dreaming, too many steps ahead all the time. 

Enjoy, explore, the feelings of attraction for their own delicious umami, without shoveling it down, desperate for dessert and possibly, the desert, deserted.  That is my advice and may the joint flexible gods of sex and companionship smile upon your endeavours.

you are right. I know it.

funnily enough, another women in our team has tried to set me up with an army friend of hers ('she thinks nothing of 25 mile hikes'). No doubt that will get back to my Irish Rose (TM) and life will collapse in on itself again.

[lankyguy95]

christ. man. I'm going to have stop reading this thread.

Probably. It's horrible. Glad I'm not going through it right now.

[BlodwynPig]

PLENTY MORE FISH IN THE SEA

[Marner and Me]

Dry your eyes mate

[BlodwynPig]

Dry your eyes mate

DRY YOUR EYES MATE

[Gulftastic]

It's been 15 years or so since I had a crush on anyone. I've shut my heart down, and my life is no worse for it.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

It's been 15 years or so since I had a crush on anyone. I've shut my heart down, and my life is no worse for it.

Yep, I gave up on that stuff circa September 2019. All the better for it, OK and Blodders should do the same.

[TrenterPercenter]

What is all this crush nonsense anyway are you all american teenagers or something?

[BlodwynPig]

Yep, I gave up on that stuff circa September 2019. All the better for it, OK and Blodders should do the same.

why? I will if I am rejected.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnmLXm9Fmb0

[Ferris]

Friends are over rated. Throw a few curveballs out there, you miss 100% of the friends you don't hit on or something.

But if you throw too many curveballs, the batter will be watching your release point for the overhand curve grip, your off-speed stuff won't play and you'll get shellacked.

For more answers to irrelevant baseball bullshit that no one asked, follow me on Twitter and don't forget to like and subscribe!

[lankyguy95]

What is all this crush nonsense anyway are you all american teenagers or something?

Yes, and I'd expect a knock at the door from the police any moment now.

[Zetetic]

Remember Paramore?

[Buelligan]

why? I will if I am rejected.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnmLXm9Fmb0

Skunkape?  Who could fail to love a skunkape?

[Schrodingers Cat]

Well, as it turns out he didn't actually come on the walk anyway. But I have a clearer answer than ever about where I stand. He'd apparently messaged one of the others suggesting he wasn't coming, but not 100%, so I just messaged him quickly to check if was still coming as we wanted to know if we were still waiting for anyone. No reply. Well and truly ghosted it seems. Won't even reply to a simple question that affects other people than me. :'(

Obviously, part of me really wants to remonstrate with him. Message him to say I thought better of him, and how much of a cunt he's being - properly take him to task. Even more obviously, I won't do that. It wouldn't help anything, and it wouldn't make me feel any better, it would just make it that much harder to be friendly with him when I see him again in person.

Speaking of which, unless he doesn't turn up for whatever reason, I should see him in person again on Wednesday at training. Can't decide how to play that tbh. It may well be taken out of my hands of course, but I can't decide if I should (1) just avoid him as much as possible, even if it becomes obvious, (2) talk to him as and when, and just not bring anything up, or (3) talk to him directly about it if I get the chance? On balance, I think just not talking to him, whilst arguably childish, probably will be the best for me. If nothing else, I just need to put a bit of distance between us for now, and maybe sometime in the future, we will start interacting again. Whereas, if I confront him over this, that won't happen. The spanner in the works is what happens if he tries to talk to me?

God, why can't this all be simple and easy?!

[TrenterPercenter]

(4) Don't purposely ignore him, just be normal and get on with life; you tried, it didn't work out, he acted like a dick, the feelings will pass in time.  Concentrate on yourself and finding someone that is interested in you as much as you are in them.

Be honest with yourself and why you might be doing any action (i.e. ignoring, having a go at him) it's ok to be upset.  This isn't something that defines you. Move on and embrace life as there is much more out there.  Practice dealing with what are very normal and understandable emotions around somone you cared about - i.e. look after yourself.

PS - oh and take some comfort from the fact you took the brave decision to act on how you felt - reflect on that, it tells you something quite great about yourself ; )

[Schrodingers Cat]

(4) Don't purposely ignore him, just be normal and get on with life; you tried, it didn't work out, he acted like a dick, the feelings will pass in time.  Concentrate on yourself and finding someone that is interested in you as much as you are in them.

Well, yeah, I'm well and truly aware that I need to look elsewhere for any romantic future. As I said at the start of this though, the worst part of this is losing a friend. He was someone who had really been kind to me since I'd met him, seemed genuinely interested and had helped me get to know some of the other players who I otherwise might not have. Some of whom I would definitely like to keep seeing away from the club (once social distancing permits of course), but in doing so, would necessitate seeing this guy (let's call him A, just to simplify things (A has nothing to do with his name btw)). Taking the attitude to just 'move on' and 'just be normal' are fine in a vacuum. If this was someone I'd met online, and had no interaction with away from that, then fine. But it isn't. I'm likely to see him almost every week. I need that distance for now, so that when I'm less upset, and feel ok to be friends again, I haven't burned bridges with him. Plus, hopefully, as has been said, he's behaving like this because he doesn't know what to do - it feels the right thing to do to give him time as well.

[TrenterPercenter]

Well, yeah, I'm well and truly aware that I need to look elsewhere for any romantic future. As I said at the start of this though, the worst part of this is losing a friend. He was someone who had really been kind to me since I'd met him, seemed genuinely interested and had helped me get to know some of the other players who I otherwise might not have. Some of whom I would definitely like to keep seeing away from the club (once social distancing permits of course), but in doing so, would necessitate seeing this guy (let's call him A, just to simplify things (A has nothing to do with his name btw)). Taking the attitude to just 'move on' and 'just be normal' are fine in a vacuum. If this was someone I'd met online, and had no interaction with away from that, then fine. But it isn't. I'm likely to see him almost every week. I need that distance for now, so that when I'm less upset, and feel ok to be friends again, I haven't burned bridges with him. Plus, hopefully, as has been said, he's behaving like this because he doesn't know what to do - it feels the right thing to do to give him time as well.

You may have only lost a friend temporarily.  I'm not saying it is easy to move and be normal i'm saying you'll have to work at it.  It is the best solution and even more so as you are going to see him almost every week. It will be awkward at first but then it will get easier, that is why i'm saying you have to practice at it.  If he approaches you about it you have your opportunity to talk about it otherwise i'd leave it and concentrate one getting your mind straight and recovered from it all.

Best of luck.

[mr. logic]

Well, as it turns out he didn't actually come on the walk anyway. But I have a clearer answer than ever about where I stand. He'd apparently messaged one of the others suggesting he wasn't coming, but not 100%, so I just messaged him quickly to check if was still coming as we wanted to know if we were still waiting for anyone. No reply. Well and truly ghosted it seems. Won't even reply to a simple question that affects other people than me. :'(

Obviously, part of me really wants to remonstrate with him. Message him to say I thought better of him, and how much of a cunt he's being - properly take him to task. Even more obviously, I won't do that. It wouldn't help anything, and it wouldn't make me feel any better, it would just make it that much harder to be friendly with him when I see him again in person.

Speaking of which, unless he doesn't turn up for whatever reason, I should see him in person again on Wednesday at training. Can't decide how to play that tbh. It may well be taken out of my hands of course, but I can't decide if I should (1) just avoid him as much as possible, even if it becomes obvious, (2) talk to him as and when, and just not bring anything up, or (3) talk to him directly about it if I get the chance? On balance, I think just not talking to him, whilst arguably childish, probably will be the best for me. If nothing else, I just need to put a bit of distance between us for now, and maybe sometime in the future, we will start interacting again. Whereas, if I confront him over this, that won't happen. The spanner in the works is what happens if he tries to talk to me?

God, why can't this all be simple and easy?!

Number (2)

[imitationleather]

Once when I was a teenager I was talking to a friend I was deeply infatuated with and without any rubbing myself or anything I came in my trousers. Had to nonchalantly shuffle off to the bathroom to assess the damage.

Only time that has ever happened but if that's what having a crush is like you can keep it!

[sirhenry]

I was going to reply, but Trenter said all I was going to reply, but Trenter said all I was going to reply, but Trenter...[nb]Don't do this. Obsessively going over it again and again only makes it worse. Learning to bag and bin bad shit is well worth the effort.[/nb]

(4) Don't purposely ignore him, just be normal and get on with life; you tried, it didn't work out, he acted like a dick, the feelings will pass in time.  Concentrate on yourself and finding someone that is interested in you as much as you are in them.

Be honest with yourself and why you might be doing any action (i.e. ignoring, having a go at him) it's ok to be upset.  This isn't something that defines you. Move on and embrace life as there is much more out there.  Practice dealing with what are very normal and understandable emotions around somone you cared about - i.e. look after yourself.

PS - oh and take some comfort from the fact you took the brave decision to act on how you felt - reflect on that, it tells you something quite great about yourself ; )

[touchingcloth]

There isn't, is there? Okay, maybe if you really, really fancy a friend of yours, and you know they don't feel the same. It really is the fucking pits, isn't it? Especially if you tell that person, and ask them out, then they don't even reply to your message. That's the worst...or so I've been told.

Now just figuring out how to avoid ever seeing or speaking to him ever again, whilst still seeing mutual friends of ours. Eventually, I'll get over the mix of shame, embarrassment and regret I've felt since...I mean, what regret? I'm talking hypothetically, definitely not something I've experienced directly, no sirree!

How do people put up with this? What pathetic creatures we are, to be ruled over so easily by emotions! Or, maybe that's just me?

This thread has been done before, but what better way to see in the new year than reminiscing about an old classic? And what better way to commemorate 2020 than by wallowing in self pity?

Well, as it turns out he didn't actually come on the walk anyway. But I have a clearer answer than ever about where I stand. He'd apparently messaged one of the others suggesting he wasn't coming, but not 100%, so I just messaged him quickly to check if was still coming as we wanted to know if we were still waiting for anyone. No reply. Well and truly ghosted it seems. Won't even reply to a simple question that affects other people than me. :'(

Obviously, part of me really wants to remonstrate with him. Message him to say I thought better of him, and how much of a cunt he's being - properly take him to task. Even more obviously, I won't do that. It wouldn't help anything, and it wouldn't make me feel any better, it would just make it that much harder to be friendly with him when I see him again in person.

Speaking of which, unless he doesn't turn up for whatever reason, I should see him in person again on Wednesday at training. Can't decide how to play that tbh. It may well be taken out of my hands of course, but I can't decide if I should (1) just avoid him as much as possible, even if it becomes obvious, (2) talk to him as and when, and just not bring anything up, or (3) talk to him directly about it if I get the chance? On balance, I think just not talking to him, whilst arguably childish, probably will be the best for me. If nothing else, I just need to put a bit of distance between us for now, and maybe sometime in the future, we will start interacting again. Whereas, if I confront him over this, that won't happen. The spanner in the works is what happens if he tries to talk to me?

God, why can't this all be simple and easy?!

He probably didn't receive your SMS message.

this guy (let's call him A, just to simplify things (A has nothing to do with his name btw))

Except that he's a saucy little sexpot.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Once when I was a teenager I was talking to a friend I was deeply infatuated with and without any rubbing myself or anything I came in my trousers. Had to nonchalantly shuffle off to the bathroom to assess the damage.

Only time that has ever happened but if that's what having a crush is like you can keep it!

This interests me. Did you do a sex moan at them? How did you excuse yourself?

[Better Midlands]

This interests me. Did you do a sex moan at them? How did you excuse yourself?

[imitationleather]

This interests me. Did you do a sex moan at them? How did you excuse yourself?

I definitely didn't do a sex moan. I was massively surprised it had even happened. After I was just like, "I'm going to go to the toilet. For a piss and/or a shit. Just the normal stuff that I do in there. Back in a mo!"

She didn't give the impression of being aware of what had just taken place, and I think she is the type who would have asked what the fuck was up if she'd had suspicions.

[Mobbd]

There isn't, is there? Okay, maybe if you really, really fancy a friend of yours, and you know they don't feel the same. It really is the fucking pits, isn't it? Especially if you tell that person, and ask them out, then they don't even reply to your message. That's the worst...or so I've been told.

Now just figuring out how to avoid ever seeing or speaking to him ever again, whilst still seeing mutual friends of ours. Eventually, I'll get over the mix of shame, embarrassment and regret I've felt since...I mean, what regret? I'm talking hypothetically, definitely not something I've experienced directly, no sirree!

How do people put up with this? What pathetic creatures we are, to be ruled over so easily by emotions! Or, maybe that's just me?

This thread has been done before, but what better way to see in the new year than reminiscing about an old classic? And what better way to commemorate 2020 than by wallowing in self pity?

This is lovely. Enjoy it. Even the hard/painful parts. I've been committed very happily to someone for over a decade and I don't tend to fancy other people beyond a general noticing of someone who is fit. As such, I haven't had an actual crush in such a long time. You've made me miss that feeling a bit tbh: the potent combination of desire, horn, and fear of rejection. Ouch.

[JarrowMonkey]

Yes, arse and bowel cancer, that's worse
A parent dying in their mid forties, that's worse
Unrequited love is shite, but I've been blown out more times than a windsock, so I stick to wanking myself daft now, I mean living the life of an attractive, single bachelor

[jamiefairlie]

Have a read of the "blocked by your ex" thread and count yourself lucky on dodging a bullet.

[machotrouts]

I have NEVER had a huge debilitating crush on a friend, EVER. When I felt incredibly SAD after I opened Facebook last week and the top post was an ultrasound scan of the baby my friend is delighted to announce he is having with his wife? That was simply because the baby looked like SHIT to me. I felt like I'd been shot in the gut when I saw it out of BABY UGLINESS – NOTHING ELSE. Everyone's like "Congratulations!" "Congratulations!" "Congratulations!" "Congratulations!" "Congratulations!" "Congratulations!" "Congratulations!" "Congratulations!" "Congratulations!" "Congratulations!" "Congratulations!" "Congratulations!" "Congratulations!" "Congratulations!" "Congratulations!" "Congratulations!" while I'm sat there feeling like... you congratulating them on this bitch fetus? This nothing guts blob?? It's like a 3/10 at best??? Lmao... get taste losers!!!! PAthetic!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SpiderChrist]

I had a crush on a friend, which was reciprocated and very nearly got physical. The reason it didn't happen is that I'm a fucking coward married and couldn't bear to cause my family any pain (like my father did, more than once)