Johnson to announce new Covid restrictions for England at 8pm tonight

[Zetetic]

"The client of a dog walker cancels a contract due to coronavirus.

The dog walker could but chooses not to look for additional work to replace the contract.

This means her business activity and her trading profits are reduced because she chooses not to replace the contract and not because of coronavirus."

[idunnosomename]

when do we get free dinners again

[jobotic]

the manchild can't get to the end of the sentence without a wee smirk. fatal incompetence and messaging and it's still a big game to him. the worst possible choice for PM at a time like this.

best of luck, everyone!

I can't bear to hear him speak let alone watch him. Did he really smirk today?

[Uncle TechTip]

Furloughing, self-employment grant, whatever - all still seems like a fucking unpredictable mess.

And as others have noted, a whole bunch of factors now make being furloughed or working from home considerably less attractive for individuals than it did in Spring & Summer 2020.

The furloughed can fucking get out and wipe down vaccine delivery chairs in care homes, or something. What are the bunch of factors, that it won't be as warm? Furlough still going to March I thought? I expect Sunak will have another announcement to make.

[idunnosomename]

can you imagine kicking boris johnson in the fucking balls. watching all of his stupid facade drop as he grips his sore bollocks and swears at you in his Alex voice

[non capisco]

can you imagine kicking boris johnson in the fucking balls. watching all of his stupid facade drop as he grips his sore bollocks and swears at you in his Alex voice

"That wasn't a very nice thing to DYEWWWWWWWWW".

Hate his fucking face, hate his fucking voice, hate his fucking guts.

[Zetetic]

What are the bunch of factors, that it won't be as warm?

Miserable as fuck outside, novelty has worn off, isolation lunancy reaching breaking point, many people on reduced earnings for months already, and cold enough that you'll notice paying for your heating.[nb]Which you can still claim something like £60 back for?[/nb][nb]A particular problem in the UK, compared to much of Western Europe, given how difficult to heat our shitty damp-ridden leaky 'homes' are, despite our shitty damp wet climate.[/nb]

Furlough still going to March I thought?

If you can convince your employer to furlough you, presumably.

[Billy]

Maybe they'll relax it on the week of Valentines Day so we can all buy cards and chocolates and meet our loved ones for a few tantalising hours, to frantically save both the economy and any relationships that might have gone to shit during this time. Then if you're Irish you can go out on St Patrick's Day too, but there'll be a passport control and citizenship office around every high street to enforce the rules.

Then we'll get 'Egg Out to Help Out!' in Easter with a photo on the tabloids showing Boris dressed as the Easter fucking bunny.

[jobotic]

I'm enjoying going to work to do fuck all because we can't be furloughed in local government and there's nothing we can do at home. Meanwhile the kids go to school as key worker children as we can't afford to take unpaid leave.

Have enquired about helping out at the vaccination centre that is due to open at the bottom of my road this week.

[idunnosomename]

cant help but think even the tabloids are going to get fed up with this fat white dog turd of a man soon

[Thomas]

Maybe they'll relax it on the week of Valentines Day so we can all buy cards and chocolates and meet our loved ones for a few tantalising hours

And they could save money by reusing the 'Eat Out' slogan.

[Zetetic]

"Our comms have been the best in Europe. We scared everyone shitless, but now we have to undo some of that," one Conservative MP said.
- May 2020

[MrMrs]

shambolic

[evilcommiedictator]

Dishy Rishi's "eat in to help out" lockdown scheme

[SpiderChrist]

Exam board phone lines now queued up with calls from schools asking "what's happening with exams this summer?" like we've been privy to Johnson's decisions or have been working out the solutions to this complex scenario overnight since we heard the news at the same time as every other fucker in the country.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Is it definitely about restrictions? Find it odd Johnson's making an announcement the day Jodie Whittaker's exit from Dr Who is reported.

I know the announcement will be weak, bare minimum stuff with just the right amount of words to qualify as communication

But enough about Chris Chibnall.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Hannah Richardson, BBC News education and social affairs reporter, claims

In the end it was the pressure on the NHS, caused by the new more contagious variant of coronavirus, which sounded the closing bell for schools.

To shut them was the only lever government had left to pull to try to turn the tanker in a new tide of Covid cases sweeping the nation.

They've still got some levers left - pay people UBI to stay at home and properly enforce the lockdown. Have BTP officers do spot checks of buses. Don't just fine people who break the rules as if they are rich enough they won't care - make them do community service when this is all over and name and shame the worst offenders. The media are ignoring how lockdowns in other countries were much more strict with their enforcement than here.

[jobotic]

In the end it was the pressure on the NHS, caused by the new more contagious variant of coronavirus, which sounded the closing bell for schools.

To shut them was the only lever government had left to pull to try to turn the tanker in a new tide of Covid cases sweeping the nation.

No shit.

So why did they, and Labour, not say that until yesterday?

[Fambo Number Mive]

They had to rule out whether the major step of closing the zoos would be enough to stem the pandemic.

[Norton Canes]

Hate his fucking face, hate his fucking voice, hate his fucking guts.

VOICE > FACE > GUTS

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

VOICE > FACE > GUTS

>I LAUGHED

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

On sitting down during a walk with a friend, Gove added: "I think, inevitably, it may be the case that for a second someone will want to pause and rest in the course of exercise.

"We're anxious to make sure people exercise common sense and the clear message is: do stay at home, of course exercise once a day, but also do everything possible to restrict social contact."

You plebs, not me.

[Fambo Number Mive]

A press conference from Johnson at 5pm today, with Whitty and Vallance.

Wonder if the media will ask him any actual searching questions this time.

[Uncle TechTip]

You plebs, not me.

Did you think he was on a walk with a friend when he said that? Or is that the joke.

[jobotic]

A press conference from Johnson at 5pm today, with Whitty and Vallance.

Wonder if the media will ask him any actual searching questions this time.

"Where do you get all your great ideas from?"

[Fambo Number Mive]

"Please could I be your new Number 10 communications director, Mr Johnson"

I hope they bring back daily briefings for the duration of the lockdown.

[Chedney Honks]

I genuinely think I would be fucking brilliant at the daily briefings.

Just go fucking apeshit and show pictures of fondant lung and corpses and screaming and live stream someone's mother dying and

YOU FUCKING SEE NOW YOU FUCKING CUNTS

IF YOU LEAVE YOUR HOUSE EVER IT'S THE FUCKING H BOMB

And cut to live feed of an army of ED-209s scything down a load of people having a walk and some 4x4 cunt mobile turning into a garden centre car park BAMMMMMMM LAND MINES

STAY THE FUCK HOME OR YOU ARE FUCKING DEAD

Next slide please

[DoesNotFollow]

My mum (over 60 and with one kidney) who lives with my stepdad (over 70 with all kinds of health issues) and is in a bubble with my nan can't miss work at Co-Op and get paid apparently. Anyone got any advice?

[gib]

let me guess - Sponk?

yup

[Bence Fekete]

can you imagine kicking boris johnson in the fucking balls