Author Topic: "Life Coaching"  (Read 3807 times)

Shaky

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"Life Coaching"
« on: January 07, 2021, 11:05:44 AM »
I've just attended a free zoom meeting with some doink who runs a "Life Coaching and Neurological Repatterning" company. I'm a broadminded sort. I try to meditate. Affirmations and that do no harm. So why not, eh? Weirdly, though, he kept the inner secrets of the human brain to himself; they can be ours - they are within reach! -  but the small catch is you have to stump up the oddly random prices he kept banding around for the final half hour of the meeting. Everything was half price... then he offered a further discount if we agreed right on the spot! Incredible!

Anyone else tried this sort of bollocks for laughs? Call me cynical, but I can't help but think it's primarily designed to appeal to people at a low ebb who happen to have some spare cash and it's depressed me further.

PlanktonSideburns

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2021, 11:16:52 AM »
just read a book inni

i guess theres a living to be made from sitting at zoom with a carrot and a stick

got onto this guy instead, a true master:

https://www.julienhimself.com/self-help1595331910502

Twit 2

  • On Earth, no cure
Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2021, 11:18:18 AM »

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2021, 11:38:13 AM »
clean your room innit

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • Your sleep paralysis demon
Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2021, 11:40:23 AM »
Have you ever considered just pulling yourself together?

Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2021, 11:42:34 AM »
I've just attended a free zoom meeting with some doink who runs a "Life Coaching and Neurological Repatterning" company. I'm a broadminded sort. I try to meditate. Affirmations and that do no harm. So why not, eh? Weirdly, though, he kept the inner secrets of the human brain to himself; they can be ours - they are within reach! -  but the small catch is you have to stump up the oddly random prices he kept banding around for the final half hour of the meeting. Everything was half price... then he offered a further discount if we agreed right on the spot! Incredible!

Anyone else tried this sort of bollocks for laughs? Call me cynical, but I can't help but think it's primarily designed to appeal to people at a low ebb who happen to have some spare cash and it's depressed me further.

Just get British London publishing to print you a Life Coaching certificate.  Save yourself the fees.

Mr Eggs

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #6 on: January 07, 2021, 11:43:55 AM »
Bringing the life plan to fruition is not without a goal-setter.

I can expand any horizon.

PM me and for $28 I can mindboost you or buy my  Ayahuasca tea at $7.77 an ounce.

And then I'll fuck you

QDRPHNC

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #7 on: January 07, 2021, 11:49:31 AM »
There are plenty of thick people who think they have to pay for this kind of stuff.

On LinkedIn the other day, I saw a sales manager credit the phrase, "When you are tired, sleep. When you are hungry, eat." to a smug looking creative director turned business guru based in San Francisco.

Shaky

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #8 on: January 07, 2021, 12:02:41 PM »
Bringing the life plan to fruition is not without a goal-setter.

I can expand any horizon.

PM me and for $28 I can mindboost you or buy my  Ayahuasca tea at $7.77 an ounce.

And then I'll fuck you

I've compared your offer to the one earlier and tell you what, fuck me first and I'll give you a tidy $30.

Mr Eggs

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #9 on: January 07, 2021, 12:10:54 PM »
Do you feel as though you live behind a mask of happiness and contentment when that isn't how you feel inside?




Mr Eggs

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #10 on: January 07, 2021, 12:26:46 PM »
I will give you a prostate orgasm. But no hugs.

https://goddesstemple.co.uk

Do you know any women? Or anyone who can get a vehicle up to septic tank on grass in winter?

Urgently.

Shaky

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #11 on: January 07, 2021, 12:43:50 PM »
Do you feel as though you live behind a mask of happiness and contentment when that isn't how you feel inside?

No, but I often sing and whistle just for fun.

Mr Eggs

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #12 on: January 07, 2021, 12:51:20 PM »
No, but I often sing and whistle just for fun.

That indicates to me that your penis is to large to please a woman. You may need to meet a holistic blood artist to free negative thoughts to allow all your possibilities of giving.

The womb is a reversal of the penis. Remember this to please Gaia and accept her love.

Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #13 on: January 07, 2021, 01:06:32 PM »
No, but I often sing and whistle just for fun.
You are an angel, heading for a land of sunshine and fortune is smiling upon you.

A friend of mine list Life Coach as his profession. I tend to roll my eyes at the job title, but he's not a bad sort.

Sometimes I think I could do with some life coaching: How to do my taxes and such - stuff that they should probably teach in school. Back in the old days, we just called this "advice".

Mr Eggs

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #14 on: January 07, 2021, 01:10:52 PM »
Quit harshing my buzz. I was trying to get a wank out of this.

Jockice

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #15 on: January 07, 2021, 01:14:00 PM »
Is it NLP stuff? I have an acquaintance who is into that. She's actually a qualified clinical psychologist but she does some private work as well.

Every time I see her (and this is going back at least 25 years) there is exactly the same scenario:
1) She'll get very drunk. Drunker than anybody else. No matter the company she'll be the drunkest person there.
2) She'll do this thing where she waves her hands around in front of your face. Something about getting rid of negative energy. If there is someone new in the group she will do it with them. If not it'll be someone she's already tried it on. I must have had it over a dozen times. And considering I usually only see her about three or four times a year at the most that's quite a lot.
£) She'll start crying. Without fail.

Bloody psychologists. They're all as mad as hatters.

Shaky

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #16 on: January 07, 2021, 01:14:03 PM »
You are an angel, heading for a land of sunshine and fortune is smiling upon you.

A friend of mine list Life Coach as his profession. I tend to roll my eyes at the job title, but he's not a bad sort.

Sometimes I think I could do with some life coaching: How to do my taxes and such - stuff that they should probably teach in school. Back in the old days, we just called this "advice".

"Class, you'll find an egg and some cold water under each of your desks. Exam starts now!"

I know the feeling. I've missed out on how to do some quite basic, adult things. Problem is these coach ghouls (not your friend, I'm sure) would rather dangle the hope of enlightenment and peace than turn up and help me sort the leccy bills.

Is it NLP stuff? I have an acquaintance who is into that. She's actually a qualified clinical psychologist but she does some private work as well.

Every time I see her (and this is going back at least 25 years) there is exactly the same scenario:
1) She'll get very drunk. Drunker than anybody else. No matter the company she'll be the drunkest person there.
2) She'll do this thing where she waves her hands around in front of your face. Something about getting rid of negative energy. If there is someone new in the group she will do it with them. If not it'll be someone she's already tried it on. I must have had it over a dozen times. And considering I usually only see her about three or four times a year that's quite a lot.
£) She'll start crying. Without fail.

Bloody psychologists. They're all as mad as hatters.

I generally approve of psychs but there are some nutters out there. I used to work with the body in Aus that decides whether or not health professionals should be registered and allowed to practice and some of the letters of complaint against brain folk were insane. Shagging their clients, stalking, attempted murder. It's tough work, but steady on.

Jockice

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #17 on: January 07, 2021, 01:50:06 PM »
"I generally approve of psychs but there are some nutters out there. I used to work with the body in Aus that decides whether or not health professionals should be registered and allowed to practice and some of the letters of complaint against brain folk were insane. Shagging their clients, stalking, attempted murder. It's tough work, but steady on.

I should imagine she's quite good at her actual job (well she's never been sacked as far as I know) and I only ever meet her at social events. But it really is exactly the sane situation every time. She did offer me some NLP sessions once (no cost was discussed) but I turned her down. If I was going to do something like that (and I have had private and NHS counselling in the past) I'd much rather have it with someone I didn't previously know.

oy vey

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #18 on: January 07, 2021, 01:55:13 PM »
Attend the course for 14 days, get a refund, repackage the material as your own and set up your own life coaching business. That's what most of them do.

Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #19 on: January 07, 2021, 02:00:39 PM »
"Class, you'll find an egg and some cold water under each of your desks. Exam starts now!"
A friend of mine did recently ask me how to make boiled eggs. 28 30 years old, they were.

bgmnts

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #20 on: January 07, 2021, 02:07:18 PM »
Obligatory mention of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations.

chveik

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #21 on: January 07, 2021, 02:16:56 PM »
Obligatory mention of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations.

I bet there's no recipe for boiled eggs in it

Shaky

  • I drink your thread
Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #22 on: January 07, 2021, 04:01:59 PM »
A friend of mine did recently ask me how to make boiled eggs. 28 30 years old, they were.

I hope you spun her a load of old cobblers.

"Egg in the oven with a glass of water, 250°C."

Twit 2

  • On Earth, no cure
Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #23 on: January 07, 2021, 05:11:50 PM »
Obligatory mention of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations.

Yep. Free online copy, or a few quid for a nice translation you can keep in the bog. The paradox is that the sort of person who would just stick to that and apply it properly over years almost doesn’t need it, and those most in need of it will not trust that it really is that simple and always be on the hunt for the next thing that’ll supposedly sort your head out. Once you have more than a few self-help books, it’s clearly just a hobby and has nothing to do with the genuine desire to improve your life.

Jockice

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #24 on: January 07, 2021, 05:19:43 PM »
But it really is exactly the sane situation every time.

Same situation obviously. She's off her head.

Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #25 on: January 07, 2021, 10:02:34 PM »
I impulse buy every new self help book that comes on the market. I just can't help myself...

Shaky

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #26 on: January 08, 2021, 01:50:48 AM »
We're about to go into hard lockdown in Brisbane until Monday, I've got a CBT book and might get around to reading it more. I was also given a copy of Russell Brand's book on addiction for Xmas which I wasn't particularly planning to go near but might dip it it over the weekend.

Twonty Gostelow

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #27 on: January 08, 2021, 01:58:54 AM »
A lot of the schtick seems to involve saying they were just like you until...  Which is obviously attractive.

When they confess to sometimes suffering from impostor syndrome are they being honest or taking the piss out of us? (A genuine case I recently came across.)

Shaky

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #28 on: January 08, 2021, 05:52:46 AM »
A lot of the schtick seems to involve saying they were just like you until...  Which is obviously attractive.

When they confess to sometimes suffering from impostor syndrome are they being honest or taking the piss out of us? (A genuine case I recently came across.)

It's hard to know and that's a big part of the problem, for me. My guess (after one example) is the better ones seem totally genuine (and maybe even are) up to the point were they start saying their course is the only way forward, you need to pay this amazing bargain of a fee etc. At the end of the day they're salespeople hawking a product. You could argue that if someone wants to pay and said product helps, that's job done for everyone involved. If a customer isn't bothered by the moral and ethical grays of the deal that's their decision. A dance as old as time.

My guy talked about recovering from a messy divorce where he was accused of verbal and physical abuse then his kids decided to live with the mother. I kept wondering if he had to ask his ex for permission to air all this stuff. He didn't name or directly slander her, but I'm wondering if there are any legal ramifications there. Presumably not if he's going around using the situation in his spiel.

Chedney Honks

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Re: "Life Coaching"
« Reply #29 on: January 08, 2021, 06:13:02 AM »
Got a kind of mate/acquaintance, used to be a city boy cunt, pissing it up, coke, probably beasting behind his wife's back. Massively depressed but mask of joviality and a good heart, just brought up to believe corporate status cuntery was the measure of success. His and wife family drilled it into him, always felt like a loser on £200k. Sacked it all off to become a marathon runner, exercise freak. Felt happy for him, albeit it was an obsession to fill the gaping chasm. Then healthfood wanker. Hmm, he's a probably right but defo feel like he's masking something. Then a life coach. Can't really have a conversation with him any more. Quite sad. Pyramid scheme shit.

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