"At Christmas I no more desire a rose Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled mirth; But like of each thing that in season grows."

The Simpsons: A Journey Through Shit

Started by JamesTC, January 08, 2021, 11:12:10 PM

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Season 22 - Episode 5 - Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life

Maggie is watching Krusty with Homer. Maggie is excited about some Happy Little Elves figurines which are part of a gas station giveaway. Lisa points out that Maggie is missing one. Homer takes the family to a Texxon station to buy gas in order to get the figurine. Montage of Homer buying 10 gallons of gas, getting the wrong figurine and then buying more. Eventually they give up and move on.

Driving on the way home they pass the house that Marge grew up in. The owner of the house lets them take a tour. Marge goes through memory lane around the house. Turns out there is a box of old stuff of hers in the attic. Lisa finds an old science award and her old papers, which are all A+. Lisa makes a snarky comment about how Marge ended up the way she did. Meanwhile Bart rides a tray around some mud at the school but accidentally drenches Nelson. Nelson threatens Bart but Bart slips and accidentally kicks him in the face which now makes Bart the new school bully for some reason.

Lisa asks Skinner about what Marge was like in school and he says she was a great student. How would Skinner know what Marge was like as a student? Skinner was Armin Tamzarian back then. Oh forget it. There is a nice gag in the background with all the trophies in Springfield Elementary clearly being stolen from other local schools. They don't even reference it, they just let it be a nice gag on its own. Good job.

Lisa charts Marge's downfall in her school grades and wonders what could have led to her no longer being academically gifted and she finds it is linked to when she met Homer. Lisa confronts Homer but he tells her that somebody or something would have eventually distracted her but Lisa insists nothing will distract her. Nelson confronts Bart but is again accidentally hit by Bart. Lisa looks for anything in her room that might provide a distraction to her future and so throws her saxophone out the window. Santa's Little Helper gets his head stuck in the saxophone. Marge sees the saxophone and is worried so Homer explains that Lisa just doesn't want to end up like her but this really hurts Marge. Marge is cold with Lisa.

Nelson confronts Bart again and threatens him that a beating is coming. Lisa sees a bus for a posh school and desperately wants to go. Marge tells Lisa that they cannot afford it but then confronts the head of the school and somehow convinces him to accept Lisa on a scholarship. Bart talks to Marge about how Nelson is threatening him and Marge tells him to make Nelson feel good about himself. Bart is confronted by Nelson and makes nice comments about him which makes him stop and that is the end of that plot. Lisa wakes up in the night after a happy first day in school but finds Marge is doing loads of laundry for the posh school. Marge agreed to do all the laundry in order to get Lisa accepted. Lisa pretends she hates the school and says she doesn't want to go there anymore. Homer arrives with the figurine they wanted at the start and it turns out he stole it. Credits roll.

3.5/10 - Better than the last few but Lisa can be an unlikeable cunt sometimes. The B-plot was just a rejig of a Season 1 episode.


Season 22 - Episode 6 - The Fool Monty

The couch gag is a parody of Avatar.

All of the US news organisations meet in the head of the Statue of Liberty to discuss the next phony news story. One suggests a made up deadly disease but this is rebutted with them actually releasing a new deadly virus into the general public.


The news heads decide on the "House Cat Flu". Marge and Homer put Snowball II in a ziplock bag. Other local cats are put up a tree by the fire department. Homer wants to burn all of Snowball II's stuff but Marge explains that they have a vaccine.


Mr Burns takes loads of the vaccines for him, Smithers and his hounds. The townspeople are very angry. Burns then drives over the remaining vaccines with his erratic driving. Mr Burns' Doctor administers the vaccine but also tells him that he is dying due to numerous illnesses. Mr Burns hosts a house party to tell his employees and various other townspeople the news that he is dying. He thinks it will be sad news but the townspeople are all happy. Mr Burns realises he is hated. Mr Burns is now sad that people hate him. Mr Burns tried to kill himself by jumping off a cliff but survives because he is hit by a plane and then a tree and then a bear holding a fish. Bart finds Burns in the forest but he has lost his memory which is the plot of the episode.

Bart takes Burns home and hides him in his room. Remember ET? Smithers is depressed and drinking but he is now working for Dick Cheney. The townspeople spit on Burns' grave and then dance on it. The family find Burns. Burns is humping Santa's Little Helper. Marge gets them to reveal Burns to the town. The townspeople decide to get revenge on him. Everybody in the town gets half an hour with Mr Burns to do with as they please. Clips of people using Burns for stupid shit. Nelson uses him as a surrogate father.

Lisa takes Burns back to his mansion. Burns remembers everything. Burns gets Mr Smithers back. Mr Burns wants to get revenge on the town. Mr Burns initially decides to cover the town with a dome but it turns out that SIMPSONS DID IT. Marge tells Burns that it was the fact that he was helping people that kept him alive but then he realises that it was a bile building up from hate that had kept him alive. Nelson threatens Burns if he doesn't come to his school to watch him in the school play. Burns goes to the school play. Credits roll.

2/10 - Vacuous.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

oh yeah Mr Burns is sad that people don't like him

Mr. Burns.

Mr. Burns.

the Mr. Burns who regretted selling the power plant because what good is money if you can't inspire fear in your fellow men

the Mr. Burns who told schoolchildren that family, religion and friendship are the three demons you must slay to succeed in business

oh yeah he'd kill himself if people hated him.


Season 22 - Episode 7 - How Munched Is That Birdie in the Window?

The couch gag is a parody of Honey I Shrunk The Kids. They have just ruined a perfectly good movie parody they could have pilfered when they run out of ideas for Treehouse of Horror.

The TV falls off the wall. Good start.

Todd and Rod are scared of the thunder and lighting but Flanders tells them it is just the angels bowling. Cut to some angels bowling. That's the joke.

Homer is telling a scary story to Bart, Lisa and Maggie. The kids are very scared. A pigeon flies through the window which scares Homer. The pigeon has a phone number. It is owned by the sarcastic guy (whatever his name is). Lisa tells Bart to take care of the pigeon because she is scared of them. Montage of Bart taking care of the pigeon. The wing is healed so Bart tries to release it because it is a homing/carrier pigeon but the pigeon doesn't want to leave. Bart takes the pigeon as his new pet. The family are watching TV and it is an advert for WWII in colour and the box set features commentary from Hitler and Mussolini. Homer and Bart are playing with the pigeon in the yard. Lisa discusses with Marge why she doesn't like pigeons. Bart and Homer use the pigeon to send messages to people around town. Santa's Little Helper eats the pigeon. They have a funeral for the pigeon. Bart is unhappy with Santa's Little Helper which is the plot of the episode.

Skinner brings Homer and Marge in and tells them he is depressed but his grades have gone up so he wants them to make him sadder. Bart and Santa's Little Helper are taken to therapy. Bart refuses to forgive Santa's Little Helper and the therapist says they should give him away. CUNT.

Bart is even colder to Santa's Little Helper. They take Santa's Little Helper to a new home upstate. He is going to be with the owners of Ostrich World. Bart is still an arse to Santa's Little Helper when saying goodbye and complaining about how he should NEVER kill a bird. Homer and Bart end up getting attacked by an ostrich but Santa's Little Helper does not attack the ostrich because Bart told him to never kill a bird. Bart manages to fight off the ostrich by strangling it. Bart forgives Santa's Little Helper... for some reason.

2/10 - You're lucky to get that. Automatic -1 for being mean to Santa's Little Helper.


Quote from: Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse on June 08, 2021, 09:55:28 PM
oh yeah Mr Burns is sad that people don't like him

Mr. Burns.

Mr. Burns.

the Mr. Burns who regretted selling the power plant because what good is money if you can't inspire fear in your fellow men

the Mr. Burns who told schoolchildren that family, religion and friendship are the three demons you must slay to succeed in business

oh yeah he'd kill himself if people hated him.

they also already fuckin did that plot

They also do it in again in Season 32 with a Impossible Burger-style plot.

There was a season 30 episode on TV the other day that ended with Nelson visiting his father who was on Mars. Cause that's the show The Simpsons is now. 


So Nelson's Dad has gone from being Coach of the Soccer team to going out for Cigs going missing to being in a freak show to being Mars makes sense.


I think looking for continuity in a sitcom that's run for 30 years is a bit of a fool:s errand, though.


Season 22 - Episode 8 - The Fight Before Christmas

Marge is putting up the Christmas decorations, but Homer doesn't want to help because he is watching TV. Maggie wants to watch the Fluppets. Bart is planning on waiting for Santa and threatening him with a BB gun so he will get a dirt bike. Bart then falls asleep.

Bart dreams a train driven by Otto arrives outside. I assume that this is a parody of The Polar Express? I've not seen it so I dunno. The train arrives in the North Pole and Moe is an elf there. Bart wants to find Santa. Most of the elves have been laid off because the jobs have been moved to the South Pole. Bart quickly gets a job and becomes Vice President by coming up with ideas for saving time and money making the presents. Bart finally confronts Santa who is Krusty and demands his dirt bike. Krusty tells Bart that the company is bust. Bart goes home but after he has left Krusty reveals the place isn't bust and it was all a ruse and loads of sexy ladies come out and give him a cigar and light it with money. Chief Wiggum in a flying police car chases the train and Otto jumps out the window. It might not look like the last sentence links with what came before it but I can tell you that this is what happens and I haven't missed anything out.

Lisa sees people taking trees home and is angry that they can't leave the trees where they were. Lisa goes to sleep. Lisa dreams it is 1944. Marge is away at war on the front line while Homer is too fat to fight on the front line. Homer brings a tree home but Lisa vowed never to have another tree until Marge comes home safe and sound as she left while they were buying one. They then get a letter saying that Marge is MIA. Lisa runs away but ends up surrounded by trees and is traumatised but then the sarcastic guy tells her that Marge paid for the tree before she left and Lisa takes this as a sign that Marge is okay. Lisa takes the tree home and they decorate it. Cut to Nazi occupied France where Hitler is watching a Nazi Dumbo film and then Marge burns the place down and murders Hitler. I can't even muster up the anger to criticise how lazy this is.

Marge is writing a letter to Martha Stewart asking her to save her family. Martha Stewart turns up, wakes up Marge and then Martha Stewart does some stuff like decorating and stuff but I'm not going to write it down because it is so boring. Then Martha Stewart drugs Homer. Marge isn't happy that the family can't be like themselves so Martha Stewart leaves and then Marge wakes up. The family bring Marge breakfast in bed and sing and mess up the breakfast, so decide to go out instead.

Maggie is asleep with the Fluppets DVD she wanted to watch. She is dreaming the family as puppets. Moe arrives and is eating cookies. The family are planning to go to Hawaii. Moe is going to house sit and calls his girlfriend over telling her it is his bachelor pad. Burns turns up but Homer told him that he had a neck injury and that is why he needed the week off. Then Katy Perry turns up (the real one, not a puppet) and is saying she is Moe's girlfriend. Homer tells Burns the truth and so he releases the hounds, but they blew the budget on Katy Perry. Katy Perry kisses Burns and he says he kissed a girl and he liked it. Burns forgives Homer and they sing a carol. The episode ends with puppet Moe not being able to reach Katy Perry's head so he kisses her belly button but she says it isn't her belly button. Moe is kissing Katy Perry right in her vagina!

1/10 - Lazy abject shite. A show in complete death throes. Nothing against Katy Perry as she did nothing wrong, it was just so woefully misconceived by the writers. Hard to believe this is still only two thirds into the show's life.


the thing late (or rather the majority of, shudder) the simpsons has a thing for is parodies of things where they just change a letter and fuckit that'll do. fluppets.

i quite appreciate the effort put into the muppets thing even if it isnt funny


Season 22 - Episode 9 - Donnie Fatso

The only way is up from the last episode.

Lisa is cleaning up after New Year's Day. Santa's Little Helper and Snowball II slept together. Marge and Homer have a hangover. Homer takes the recycling out but Chief Wiggum gives him a ticket for not separating his recycling. The situation escalates and he gets loads more tickets amounting to $1000. Homer consults with Moe who tells him he can bribe somebody at the city office but he is caught and given 10 years in prison. Chief Wiggum gives him an alternative to jail which is to go undercover to investigate Fat Tony which is the plot of the episode.

Homer goes to prison with the new undercover identity. Homer gains the trust of Fat Tony by standing up for one of Fat Tony's goons against the guards in a scenario set up by the FBI. Marge is worried as she can't contact Homer at prison. Homer has gotten out with Fat Tony and his goons. Fat Tony wants Homer to burn down Moe's after Moe was rude to Fat Tony. Before Homer can burn it down, Moe burns it down instead, saying it was either that or "adding in a ladies room". Fat Tony thinks Homer did it so welcomes him to the family.

Homer and Fat Tony go to get some guns from a boat. Homer feels bad for Fat Tony and tries to stop him from getting caught. Fat Tony realises Homer is an informant but then has a heart attack and dies. Homer is now home but is depressed about what happened to Fat Tony. Homer visits Fat Tony's grave but is attacked. Homer wakes up to find he has been kidnapped by Fit Tony who is Fat Tony's cousin. Fit Tony wants to kill Homer but after Homer talks highly about Fat Tony he decides not to kill him so his memories of Fat Tony can live on. Homer now narrates and tells the story of how Fit Tony got fat and started to get called Fat Tony and this is apparently the end of the episode. What?

3/10 - I feel like when the plot surrounds Homer there is at least a few easy yucks to be had. But that plot what so weak that when it ended I couldn't believe I'd watched a full 20 minute episode.


Quote from: idunnosomename on June 12, 2021, 09:52:32 PMi quite appreciate the effort put into the muppets thing even if it isnt funny

It would have been considerably cheaper than animating, I imagine. I think they did the whole thing just to parody Katy Perry appearing on Sesame Street.

Nothing like the live action segments in the old Tree House of Horror episodes, which were all brief but very effective. I love the ending to Homer3 when he falls into the black hole and ends up in the real world.


Not just animating the normal 2 minutes on the end of a regular episode. they have to do art direction for a bunch of puppets, have them made, have a whole crew for puppeteering, build a set.

I just watched that segment and the only thing approaching funny is the Abe and Jasper in the Statler and Waldorf box. It's a really poor script to homage to how the Muppets worked with celebrities. they were often highly creative what they had them do. not just oh your my girlfriend lol please kiss me on the genitals.

HomerĀ³ was the same year Toy Story came out (1995). it's really impressive. yes and also funny. erotic cakes!

Jerzy Bondov

Why would Maggie have a dream where Moe puts his lips on Katy Perry's vagina


Season 22 - Episode 10 - Moms I'd Like to Forget

Groundskeeper Willy is refereeing a dodgeball match between the fourth and fifth graders for some reason. Bart wins the match but then the ball didn't touch the ground and the last fifth grader catches it so the fifth graders win on a technicality for some reason. This starts an all out war between the fourth and fifth graders which carries over to the teachers. The fourth and fifth graders have a "rumble" but while Bart is about to fight one kid he finds that the kid has a scar on his hand that is the same as a scar on his hand. Bart asks Marge about the scar and she tells him about a toddler gym she used to take him to.  Marge used to hand out with the other mothers who called themselves the "cool moms". Homer does the taxes on the toilet.

Marge invites the other mothers over. Bart talks with the other kids about how they all have the scar on their hand. Homer Skypes Moe and he thinks that Flander's wi-fi is acting up but Moe says he has bell's palsy. So funny. Marge goes out with the mothers again and they all agree to meet every Tuesday. Bart continues to do dangerous stuff with the other boys. Bart and Lisa talk about the other boys and they decide to consult Dr Hibbert about the scar who tells them it has something to do with Comic Book Guy.

Comic Book Guy tells them the story of a picnic. Wiggum drops baby Ralph and causes brain problems. Comic Book Guy was organising the fireworks but the four kids launched all the fireworks when he wasn't looking which led to burns on their hands. Bart decides to create another big explosion to split the mothers up so he doesn't have to see the other boys anymore. Marge stops him and tells the other mothers, but they tell her that Bart was the bad apple of the group. This enrages Marge and she leaves the group. The other mothers then lez up.

2/10 - Another weak plot which just feels so short and lacking of any real depth or complexity. The only redeeming feature is the odd funny bit with Homer. Even in Jerk Ass Homer mode, he elicits a smile when he needs to.

Fun fact: The lezzing up scene was apparently cut from loads of Fox affiliates.


Quote from: Jerzy Bondov on June 12, 2021, 10:25:35 PM
Why would Maggie have a dream where Moe puts his lips on Katy Perry's vagina
badly-written pervert baby

Quote from: Master Cylinder on January 15, 2021, 01:18:45 AM
I came across a Season 22 episode last night on TV with Simpsons puppets and it ended on a Moe puppet and live action Katy Perry pussyeating joke .I have nothing more to add.

Twice in the past week I've found myself watching an episode where it's Marge and Homer's life's ambition to appear on a reality TV show they've never mentioned. It's incomprehensible if you don't know the rules of the show they're parodying, and I've no idea what the show even is. Then it segues into a black and white parody of Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf with no jokes just references to dead babies and Marge suddenly a slut. The perfect show for people who are fans of both reality TV and Edward Albee, but otherwise shit.

Also, thanks Simpsons for ruining Katy Perry in a rubber dress.


Quote from: JamesTC on June 12, 2021, 09:56:24 PMFit Tony got fat and started to get called Fat Tony and this is apparently the end of the episode. What?

I remember this one. Really bad reset button. Now whenever Fat Tony appears in latter-day Simpsons, my mind doesn't 100% associate him with the Fat Tony we know and love, because in canon he's dead and it's his brother. How hard is it to not kill off a main character and then replace them with a doppelganger?


Homer's Mum
Frank Grimes
Krusty's Dad
Maude Flanders
Edna Krappabel
Smither's Dad
That Woman Grandpa fell in love with.
Bleeding Gums Murphy
all dead

Catalogue Trousers

And yet still alive
In endless Time
And endless Art.


Season 22 - Episode 11 - Flaming Moe

Homer, Lenny and Carl have a fight with the night shift at the plant. Burns signs his last will and testament and Smithers sneaks a look. Smithers is enraged to be left out of the will. Burns tells him he doesn't respect him and will never see him as his equal. Smithers is sad so he goes to a gay bar (The League of Extra Horny Gentlemen) but they don't let him in because of the way he dresses so he goes to Moe's instead. Smithers comes up with the idea of turning Moe's into a gay bar which is the plot of the episode.

Moe's is now called Mo's and is a gay bar that accepts anybody. Homer, Lenny and Carl turn up and are freaked out by the atmosphere and by a guy washing his hands. Moe references previous redecorations of the bar which I guess means it is okay that they are repeating a storyline. Lisa's music teacher is quitting his job because he met his soulmate at Mo's and they get a new music teacher called Calliope Juniper. Comic Book Guy's cousin is at Mo's and he is called Comic Book Gay. Patty (or Selma, I can't remember which is the gay one) and Marge are at Mo's with Homer and are mistaken for men. Moe gets hit on by some of the guys there. Moe goes to clarify that he isn't gay but then he realises he will lose money so just does a dance instead.

Skinner falls in love with the new music teacher. Smithers brings Burns to Mo's who is impressed by it and says he has earned his respect. One gay guy suggests Smithers wants a lemon party and Burns is excited by the prospect of "a good old-fashioned lemon party". Smithers notices Moe playing along with flirting and is annoyed that he is making out that he is gay. Skinner asks Bart if he will date the music teacher's daughter so Skinner can double-date.

Moe is asked to run for the city council by the guys at the bar so they have gay representation and Smithers is annoyed he is still pretending to be gay. Bart breaks up with the music teacher's daughter. The music teacher is leaving town because her daughter is so sad so Skinner decides to leave with her. Groundskeeper Willy is the new principal. Moe is running for election but Smithers tries to out him as a straight. Smithers tells him to kiss him but Moe doesn't want to and reveals he is straight. The crowd all leave and don't know who to vote for now. Moe then kisses Smithers for some reason. Skinner returns for some reason. Credits roll.

3/10 - The B-plot was vapid and might as well have not been there. The A plot was surprising in how it wasn't as offensive as I thought it would be. Over the past ten seasons the show has been pretty regressive in attitudes, so I guess that is a positive.


Season 22 - Episode 12 - Homer the Father

Homer is watching an old 80s sitcom. Top marks for them presenting the 80s sitcom as 4:3 within the Simpson's 16:9 TV. Homer loves the sitcom. Bart and Milhouse are bike riding when Bart's bike breaks and he sees a mini bike in a window and he really wants it. Mirroring his new favourite sitcom, Homer tells Bart that if he bought him the bike then he wouldn't appreciate it. Homer tells Marge that Bart is angry at him for not buying the bike and she kisses him because and they have sex because him being a good father turns her on.

Bart consults Lisa as to how he can earn money to buy the bike. She suggests if he buckles down and gets good grades then Homer might buy him the bike. Bart works hard on his maths test and gets an A. As reward Homer follows what happened in his sitcom and tells Bart that his reward is the feeling of accomplishment that he can only get from hard work but this enrages Bart who expected to get the mini bike. Bart vows that he will get his mini bike. Apu knocks and tells him that he left his nuclear power plant pass at the Kwik-E-Mart. Bart overhears and decides to sell nuclear secrets to China for a mini bike and sends a letter.

The Chinese contact Bart and give him a USB drive to put the nuclear secrets on. Bart tells Homer that he will be spending lots more time with him. They do lots of father son stuff in a montage and eventually are at the nuclear power plant. Homer falls asleep and Bart starts stealing some secrets by inserting the drive into various computers around the plant. Bart gives the USB drive away and gets the bike at the zoo. Bart wakes up the next morning and comes downstairs to find another mini bike. Homer tells Bart that he had been so good lately that he thought he deserved it. Bart is now sad and Homer is wondering what is wrong with him.

Bart goes back to the zoo and Homer follows. Bart finds the USB drive is still there but then the Chinese turn up and threaten him. Homer protects Bart and tells the Chinese that they can take him with all of his nuclear knowledge instead. Homer goes to China and helps build the nuclear plant which explodes when he cuts the ceremonial ribbon. Homer returns home and him and Bart watch an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon. Rubbish Inside The Actors segment to end the episode.

4/10 - There are issues with this episode for sure, but there is also a good idea in there. The first half of the episode worked really well and whilst the second half was a little bit of a let-down, this is still one of the best episodes in a very long time. I think more than anything, nothing felt lazy this episode.


Season 22 - Episode 13 - The Blue and the Gray

It is Valentine's Day. Crazy Cat Lady meets Crazy Dog Man. Moe is alone so decides to a seminar about meeting women. Moe says that somewhere on earth there is one woman and we cut to the other side of the world where a woman who looks like Moe puts her head in a noose. Homer and Marge wake up on the morning after Valentine's Day but need to rush the kids to school. Marge discovers a grey hair but Homer says she shouldn't worry about it. Moe goes to the seminar and there are loads of other lonely men from the town there. Moe is told that he needs a wingman to help him look good. Marge goes to the hairdressers. The hairdresser tells her that she has been grey for years but she just forgets because of the fumes from the dye. Marge decides to let her hair go grey which is the plot of the episode.

Homer does not like the hair but pretends he does to make her feel better. Moe calls Homer to be his wingman. Homer is a really good wingman. Lenny wants Homer to be his wingman now. Bart beats up Milhouse for saying Marge isn't hot anymore. The women of the town give Marge backhanded compliments about her hair which makes her feel bad. Marge is then mistaken for an OAP. Bart is sent to the school therapist.

Marge meets Patty and Selma who tell him that Homer actually hates her hair and is just telling her that he likes it. Marge overhears some young women talking about Homer and whether he will be at the club tonight. Marge is going to the club and doing herself up in the car but ends up crashing and ends up a complete mess looking like a witch. Homer is talking to loads of women. Marge arrives and attacks the women with a broom on fire. Homer explains he is just a wingman and that he is only good at it because he has the confidence to go home to a beautiful woman. Marge changes her hair back to blue. Homer also colours his two hairs blue in solidarity. Credits roll.

2/10 - No fucking clue what the C-plot with Bart which amounted to two scenes was about. The B-plot was vapid. The A-plot was a little offensive. All in all yet another awful episode this season.


I'm sure it's not news to people here but Fat Tony is voiced by Joe Mantegna who is an acclaimed actor that's been in loads of notable things. It's weird that people like him and  Kelsey Grammer sometimes get called in to do some shit lines that destroy their character


Quote from: JamesTC on June 13, 2021, 08:24:20 PM
Season 22 - Episode 11 - Flaming Moe

3/10 - The B-plot was vapid and might as well have not been there. The A plot was surprising in how it wasn't as offensive as I thought it would be. Over the past ten seasons the show has been pretty regressive in attitudes, so I guess that is a positive.
I agree about this; the plot of Moe running a gay bar works well, and it's nice seeing Moe be successful and blending in with people, even if he is living a lie and you know it's going to end in failure.

But the Bart/Skinner plot is very disappointing: it's annoying because Bart being made to date a girl should be a gimme, with lots of memorable storylines about Bart and girls in the past, as well as Skinner being reliably funny in affairs of the heart. But the romance between Skinner and the young beautiful free-spirited teacher makes no sense: why not create a character who (1) Skinner would fall in love with and who (2) would thereby almost certainly be funny, instead of this unfunny, unbelievable romance. And the Bart side of it goes for the laziest possible angle, with the ugly, weird daughter. So lazy.


Season 22 - Episode 14 - Angry Dad: The Movie

We open with yet another Itchy and Scratchy. There was a time we didn't see many and I believe they excused it by saying the episodes were shorter so they didn't have time. These days the plots are so thin that they need to fill time with more frivolous stuff instead of actually giving a fuck about what the episode is actually about. It is easier to write a mouse killing a cat for a minute than to write proper dialogue with jokes.

Bart is home alone so decides to play with the ceiling fan. Bart trashes the house. A guy comes around and wants to make a film of Angry Dad which is a cartoon Bart made in a pretty good episode from nine seasons back. Homer says Bart could be a little Roman Polanski but then Marge tells him about the paedophilia, so Homer strangles Bart and calls him a monster.

Homer and Bart visit the animators. Homer does a card trick with his bum. Homer is cast as the voice of Angry Dad. They have a read through of the Angry Dad script. Then suddenly there is a premiere. The audience hate it. Lisa suggests cutting it into a short film. The Italian guy who owns the pizzeria in Springfield knocks to inform Bart that his short film has been nominated for a Golden Globe. The family go to the awards ceremony. The animators from Mixar are there. Awful. Ricky Gervais is here being Ricky Gervais. Awful. Fucking hell this Ricky Gervais bit goes on for nearly a minute of just him talking. Oh now Russel Brand is here. Awful. Some unfunny short films play.

Angry Dad wins the award. Homer does the speech and Bart is annoyed. Homer hogs the limelight at all award ceremonies. Bart gets a call telling him that Angry Dad has an Oscar nomination but Bart doesn't tell Homer. Homer finds out about the Oscars. Halle Berry is here. Not awful. A clip of the Mixar film is played and it is actually well animated and a fun parody of Toy Story but with condiments coming to life. Wallace and Gromit parody now plays. Lisa wishes Nick Park good luck and his fingers come off because he is more plasticine than man now. Angry Dad wins the Oscar. Bart accepts the award but realises that the film wasn't just his work. Homer turns up and says he is proud of Bart. Bart and Homer cut up the Oscar and give pieces to everybody. Credits roll with more Ricky Gervais monologuing. Awful.

2/10 - Awful.


Season 22 - Episode 15 - The Scorpion's Tale

Bart and Lisa's class are on a field strip to "Satan's Anvil" which is hot desert. Bart discovers some tame old French porn in an abandoned gold mine which I'm pretty sure the joke that follows is that Nelson is wanking to it behind a cactus. Lisa is attacked by scorpions but finds that some flowers calm them down. Lisa takes the scorpions and flowers home. On the way home they see Grandpa Simpsons getting kicked out of the retirement home for being cranky. Grandpa annoys everybody now he is living with them. Lisa continues to investigate the flower that stops the scorpions from attacking him and she mentions it to Homer. Homer adds the flower to Grandpa's coffee, which makes him laid back and happy.

Lisa tells Grandpa that Homer drugged him but Grandpa thanks him. Homer wants more of the flower to continue making Grandpa happy. Lisa flushed the rest of the flower mixture down the toilet and it causes a shark to die. Grandpa is cranky again and Homer says to the guys at Moe's that he doesn't know the secret to the mixture but Werner Herzog as some pharmacist who is there for some reason says he just needs a drop of the formula to synthesise it at his plant. He takes a drop of Grandpa's sweat. He synthesises 50 possible formulas. Grandpa gets an erection and then finds the right formula. Homer grows a tail. Homer calls the pharmacist Willy Wonka but it turns out he is Augustus Gloop. Grandpa is given a prototype of the drug and Bart decides to sell it which is the plot of the episode.

Bart sells them to various cranky people around town such as Skinner's mother and Mr Burns. Lisa isn't bothered that Grandpa is taking the drug because at least it makes him happy and then his eyes fall out. Yes his eyes fall out. The family put goggles on Grandpa and fill them with water so his eyes float around. Lisa discovers that the same thing happened to the scorpions. Lisa theorises that the drug lubricates the eyeball sockets or something. Bart informs the family that he has sold the drug to people around town. People all around town have their eyeballs detached from their sockets, but they are still happy. A happy mob forms at the pharmacist's office wanting more of the drug. Homer does some stupid stuff and destroys the car so Grandpa makes a speech about how their generation needs to be cranky to get things done and then they put their eyes back and fix the car. The end, I guess.

2/10 - What the fuck did I just watch?