Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 11:40:24 AM

Login with username, password and session length

🎶 Friday, Friday, camera up the arse on Friday

Started by The Mollusk, January 13, 2021, 05:17:46 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

The Mollusk

Right gang, just started necking the laxative solution.

Here's footage of me right now at this very moment:



I can already feel a stirring. This is gonna be awesome.

Famous Mortimer

Quote from: The Mollusk on January 14, 2021, 09:17:15 AM
I swear doctors are having a fucking laugh with me.
I had a lump on my knackers many years ago, and while the doctor was having a feel of it said "can I invite the students in for a look?" So a whole bunch of doctors now in their late 40s had a right good gander at my twig and berries. I can't imagine a lump was that exciting, so I assume they were having a laugh at the nerdy teenager too.

Dex Sawash


The Mollusk

Honestly it doesn't taste totally awful either. It's lemon flavoured but it's also chalky and a bit salty. Would probably go fucking great over ice with tequila. Imagine having a wild tequila and shitting party with about 5-10 litres of this stuff. Imagine the hangover.

imitationleather

Why isn't it used as a weight loss aid?

Is it because doing that would kill you?

The Mollusk

Colonoscopists HATE this man and his one weird trick for losing weight

imitationleather

Imagine if the night before an endoscopy you had to drink something that made you vomit the entire contents of your insides.

Been on a few nights out like that in the past I can tell you!!!!

The Mollusk

Fucking hell, whoa. This stuff is really intense. I'm doing some serious shitting.

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

If you die of arse cancer can I have your cats?

imitationleather

Three posters in a row with Ron avatars. We're like a special gang!

Enzo

Quote from: The Mollusk on January 14, 2021, 08:09:56 PM
Fucking hell, whoa. This stuff is really intense. I'm doing some serious shitting.

The sound of the colonic liquid hitting the bowl is something else!

The Mollusk

Quote from: Enzo on January 14, 2021, 08:17:06 PM
The sound of the colonic liquid hitting the bowl is something else!

It's the sound of it hitting the walls I'm really amazed by!

Quote from: Al Tha Funkee Homosapien on January 14, 2021, 08:14:05 PM
If you die of arse cancer can I have your cats?

No I'm afraid my will specifically states that they have to die with me, at the exact same moment. Nail gun.


The Mollusk

Bored of this now. Bored of quaffing this excessively sweet turbo dump juice and bored of excessively turbo dumping. Just now I stood up and wiped and flushed and immediately was like "oh no actually I've got loads more to chuck out". Got back to the living room and there's another fucking pint of this wank left to drink. Mental.

Dex Sawash


Jockice

If it's any consolation I've had cameras up my nob. While still awake.

Dex Sawash


Jockice mentions a lite too much about his girlfriend [/tag]

Shit Good Nose

Mega props to you, Mollusk, for having such a bright outlook on this, and hopefully it does turn out to be something innocent that we can all continue to laugh about.

flotemysost

I'm guessing it's not the same for arse cameras but when I had a colposcopy (different hole) they kept asking if I wanted to look at it on a little screen. Like fuck did I want to gawp at my gammy cervix's moment in the limelight and prolong the whole affair, but they were really insistent. "You sure you don't want to see it?"

Hope it all goes OK for you tomorrow. The shitting does sound like quite something - I texted my dad "good luck" prior to his annual boomer bum inspection last year (he's fine, btw) and received a very detailed essay back, pretty much exactly what's described here.

Chedney Honks

Can I recommend Andrex Washlets or as I call them euphemistically Andrew Washies.

"Is Andy Washies coming over?" means buy some now from the supermarket my arsehole look like it's basted in Brasso :(

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Chedney Honks on January 14, 2021, 09:33:13 PM
Can I recommend Andrex Washlets or as I call them euphemistically Andrew Washies.

WARNING - NOT really flushable, despite what it says on the packet.

Chedney Honks

Oh for fucks sake really?
. We would actually have too move house

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Chedney Honks on January 14, 2021, 09:41:07 PM
Oh for fucks sake really?

They do break down, but not very quickly.  (a story I've told several times on CaB whenever they've been mentioned) I went to Wessex Water's sewerage treatment works in Poole for a work meeting some years ago, and before lunch we had a tour around the site and when we got to the first tank where all the raw stuff starts its journey into becoming clean water which is safe to drink but still smells a bit like shit, the guy said flushable wipes cause far more major problems than congealed fat, used johnnies and tampons, etc etc combined.

Chedney Honks

Then I probably created a bigger turdberg than what's up Molly's bunger.

The Mollusk

Quote from: flotemysost on January 14, 2021, 09:31:26 PM
I'm guessing it's not the same for arse cameras but when I had a colposcopy (different hole) they kept asking if I wanted to look at it on a little screen. Like fuck did I want to gawp at my gammy cervix's moment in the limelight and prolong the whole affair, but they were really insistent. "You sure you don't want to see it?"

I actually really want to see it (my bowel, not your cervix!), I'm a total gross-out person and I'm fascinated by videos of this sort of thing, plus stuff like massive cockroaches being pulled out of an ear covered in impacted wax. Love it. Hope I'm not too bollocksed on the sedative to enjoy that.

evilcommiedictator

Quote from: Dex Sawash on January 14, 2021, 07:41:32 PM
Really want some of this turboshitting juice

You should be able to buy it from the chemists, it really is a fun[nb]no it is not[/nb] half day.

Put me down for one of the Director's cut DVDs, with the added commentary track

The Mollusk

Quaffing the second litre of this piss at the moment, almost done with it. Shitting out way more frequently than last night. My balloon knot is so bloody sore from all the wiping I've taken to gingerly dabbing it with tissue instead now. There's no actual turds to wipe away anyway. Fuck I wish we had a bidet.

kittens



The Mollusk