'Shop alone'

[Norton Canes]

Which supermarkets are enforcing this bullshit policy? ASDA and Morrisons aren't, leastways not around these parts. Aldi and Lidl aren't, and up the opposite end of the snobbery spectrum Booths, 'the Waitrose of the North', are happily letting couples into their hallowed premises.

Which just leaves Sainsbury's, who uniquely appear to be taking a draconian approach to policing non-solitary access. Now I understand that if queues are long and stores have hit their maximum capacity then okay, it's important to make sure as many people can get in as swiftly as possible. But unlike last summer's lockdown people aren't queueing halfway round the carpark and outside peak times, when we invariably go, the place is half deserted. Despite this the normally amicable door staff pounce on us and inform us that one of us will have to wait outside like a neglected dog, except without a water bowl.

They say shopping alone decreases time spent in the store. Does it bollocks! There are two of us! It'll take half the time! That's basic... ergonomics, or whatever. Do they think we'll waste precious minutes arguing over which brands to buy? Or that we'll lose each other and spend ages trying to meet up again (okay I admit this does happen quite a lot). Are they worried there's going to be heavy petting in the chiller aisle?

Look, incredible as it may seem Mrs Canes and I actually enjoy shopping together. And this is going to sound phenomenally sad but in these challenging times of prolonged lockdown, going to the supermarket is about the only indoor leisure activity in which we can indulge. These days, a visit to the supermarket of an evening is like a night out for us. Without the pubs, cinemas or theatres, it's all we've got. Don't take our precious together time away from us.

[bgmnts]

Nah people who shop alone tend to have some level of urgency or plan of action, when I see a couple it looks like the woman is idly browsing for bargains and the man is the trolley monkey.

[Lordofthefiles]

So what you're saying is: "Mrs Canes and I actually enjoy shopping together."?

[Norton Canes]

Who doesn't? Enjoy shopping with their own partner, I mean.

[Chedney Honks]

Fuck off out of Sainsbury's you Covid cunt.

[Alberon]

I get trolley rage. Half the time I want to go Grand Theft Auto with it down the aisles at warp speed.

[bgmnts]

Where's the best place to stop dead and have a long chitterwag with some other shit cunt that you know? Middle of a supermarket aisle, of course.

Bonus points if you walk half a mile an hour and have an arse rhat's about four feet wide.

[Huxleys Babkins]

I've already written about my Sainsbury's experience where you walk through the door to encounter a woman hawking Nectar cards. Well, she's still there, but on the other side of the entrance there's now a woman who's policing the masks and party numbers. You have to walk between these two women in order to gain access to the store. There's never two metres between them, so these women are effectively working as superspreaders.

Never going back there again.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

They say shopping alone decreases time spent in the store. Does it bollocks! There are two of us! It'll take half the time! That's basic... ergonomics, or whatever.

That isn't actually what happens, having a couple tends to make everything go slower, and it turns into some trip out whereas if you're on your own you can focus on aggressively and predatorially sourcing and trolleying the desired items.

Couples tend to block aisles as well, they don't go off hunting for half the shop each, and even if they did, they may as well have done that alone.

There is an advantage in that they can help unload and pack, but there's no net gain. Especially during Covid people should be going in alone.

[peanutbutter]

I remember when they were trying to enforce this back in May it seemed like absolutely everyone started an argument with the person at the door.

Just way too hard to enforce

[El Unicornio, mang]

Yeah if I'm on my own I'm just quickly in and out (oo-er), if I'm with someone else we end up sauntering around like we're on holiday.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I remember when they were trying to enforce this back in May it seemed like absolutely everyone started an argument with the person at the door.

Just way too hard to enforce

Mask wearing is difficult to enforce as well, putting the onus on staff to challenge what could be tricky territory.

Major supermarkets ought to have a marketing budget and social media channels and a way to open and close the front doors manually and bouncers, and a sign manufacturer they use with 'Individual shoppers only until further notice' on.

[Bazooka]

It's disgusting that my grandma has to wait outside in the cold when I go into Anne Summers.

[Norton Canes]

That isn't actually what happens, having a couple tends to make everything go slower, and it turns into some trip out whereas if you're on your own you can focus on aggressively and predatorially sourcing and trolleying the desired items

You obviously haven't seen us do the weekly shop. 'Aggressive and predatorial' doesn't even begin to describe it. It's more like an SAS raid than a shopping trip.

[Bernice]

I hope I'm not being too harsh when I say that you and your fuckwit Mrs should be cooked alive in an industrial tumble dryer.

[Bernice]

Sorry just read it properly, guess it's about shopping? I just live on tinned tomatoes/pulses and fresh veg these days. Do most my shopping in the corner shop during the work day, empty of even the most stubborn fuckwit couple. Never see a soul. Sounds like all you are doing it wrong.

[earl_sleek]

Fuck off out of Sainsbury's you Covid cunt.

[jobotic]

Presume this is a wind up.

We do it because we like it. Okay. I like drinking booze with mates but you know.

[Icehaven]

We don't have a car so we walk to and from the supermarket to do the big shop, about 3/4 of a mile. Obviously there"s only so much one person can carry so we can either go alone and get enough for maybe 5 days, or go together and get enough for at least twice that. I've no idea which is better virus-wise but I'd imagine going together as it means less visits to the shop overall, and we've not been challenged, but given the number of multiple member families turning up there too, largely maskless, I'm not surprised.

[Norton Canes]

Fantastic. I haven't read so much specious nonsense and wrong-headed fury since I was last in the 'IDLES are shit' thread. 

[Norton Canes]

(not you icehaven)

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Btw, no objection to shopping as a couple ethically or whatever, but if the argument is 'it saves time' then not from my observation. Glad it does for you guys. Would absolutely love to monster a grocery trip like an SAS raid, rifle-butting dreck and powersliding to the tills.

Tbf i already do the powersliding so that's only 1 tier higher

[Icehaven]

Fantastic. I haven't read so much specious nonsense and wrong-headed fury since I was last in the 'IDLES are shit' thread.

Bastard! (joking)

[Dex Sawash]

For the record, is this a new Mrs Canes?

[Norton Canes]

Strange thing to ask. No.

For the record.

[Bernice]

Fantastic. I haven't read so much specious nonsense and wrong-headed fury since I was last in the 'IDLES are shit' thread.

For the record, I don't actually think you or your wife should get put in a tumble dryer.

[Blinder Data]

It's not a bullshit policy if it reduces the overall amount of customers in the supermarket and therefore the chance of households spreading/catching COVID. You can't shop with your wife? Oh dear, how awful.

IT'S BETTER THAN BEING ON A VENT, MATE

I'm amazed to hear that supermarkets are actually enforcing these rules now in any case. In my experience the staff couldn't give a shit or are too busy doing other things, though thankfully nearly every customer wears masks.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Thread makes me think I deserve a knighthood for getting my shit delivered tbh.

[Blinder Data]

Thread makes me think I deserve a knighthood for getting my shit delivered tbh.

Actually, you're depriving a vulnerable and/or elderly personal of the scarce delivery slots, you selfish prick. GET INTO THAT SHOP.

[flotemysost]

I was in such a rush to get my (solo) supermarket trip over with as quickly as possible the other day that I forgot to pay and the security guard went haring after me through the shopping centre. Beat that for selfless shopper heroism.