Author Topic: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]  (Read 27576 times)

Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #60 on: January 25, 2021, 01:30:29 PM »
The byline photo that always irrationally annoyed me was Jane Merrick and her simper face.

Yeah, it was a bit much.


king_tubby

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Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #61 on: January 25, 2021, 01:41:25 PM »
Brain the size of Shropshire. Sensible remainer. A new dawn for the Daily Mail?

...

Ah well nevertheless

Poor old JO'Bbie.

Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #62 on: January 25, 2021, 03:23:33 PM »
never noticed Emma Beddington before this popped up. Seems she does lifestyle pieces, which would explain why they've passed me by.


https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/jan/25/bringing-my-family-back-to-the-uk-was-a-bad-decision-but-home-has-its-comforts

All fairly nothing but

Quote
Returning to the UK in 2018 has recently felt like the worst decision of my life: I feel genuine guilt at dragging my family here from lovely Brussels. I probably do not need to elaborate on that, the Guardian writer Marina Hyde does it better than I ever could every week. I was desperately homesick and keen for my francophone sons to develop a real connection with their half-homeland, but what an odd impulse it looks now: sentimental and self-indulgent. “Why do we stay on this island full of Gavin Williamson?” I often ask my French-Cambodian best friend, inexplicably as keen as I am to stay here.

Because home is home, I suppose: murky flood water and all. My husband took a beloved local friend for her vaccination at the weekend, and we deposited a coffee and croissant on my stepfather’s doorstep: that’s why, too. We chatted for a few chilly minutes: he was cycling down to check out the river, of course.

KennyMonster

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Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #63 on: January 25, 2021, 03:52:30 PM »
it's just how all of the stuff he bangs on about means nothing if he doesn't advocate the political regime change that would make it possible.

To be fair Monbiot was fully behind the Labour manifesto for GE 2017.

Not sure what he thought about the 2019 one though, I think if he supported Labour it was more muted.

But yeah, not challenging the centrists in his own paper during the Corbyn years despite Corbyn’s Labour being the obvious route away from the dirty money driven politics he complained about regularly is/was why I stopped reading him.

Posh boy is anti Unions innit.

Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #64 on: January 25, 2021, 04:06:41 PM »
Oh i backed out of the Owen Jones thing. only problem with him is he gives too much credence to things like the antisemism allegations, apologising on behalf of his movement immediately which people disingenuously use as proof they exist a priori. He needs to be a bit more careful really. Very difficult though being the one left voice invited onto anything though

gilbertharding

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Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #65 on: January 25, 2021, 04:45:59 PM »
Barbara Ellen has been terrible for years. I can't really remember her when she was at the NME, although I definitely read her stuff. Was she in Thailand when Richey Manic hired a sex worker? Anyway - this is vintage Ellen. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2009/nov/29/barbara-ellen-madeleine-martin-commen I notice they don't allow comments under her stuff anymore.

Catherine Bennett. Sam Wollaston. All hateful, useless, half-witted dim bulbs.

I remember... I *still* remember an article by Martin Kettle attempting to 'Who breaks a butterfly on a wheel?' the Chris Huhne perverting the course of justice thing from 2011.

300 point-missing words which would have been fine if the charge was just speeding.

He still has the same byline photo. I've just read this post back and it looks almost exactly like a Wollaston.

king_tubby

  • I'm on smoko, so leave me alone
Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #66 on: January 25, 2021, 04:53:33 PM »
Barbara Ellen has been terrible for years. I can't really remember her when she was at the NME, although I definitely read her stuff. Was she in Thailand when Richey Manic hired a sex worker?

Wasn't the best, wasn't the worst. Big Mary Chain fan IIRC, which gets a *thumbs up* from me. Writes drivel nowadays.

Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #67 on: January 25, 2021, 05:06:18 PM »
i didn't know Sam Wollaston was on the payroll after he stopped doing his infamously shit TV reviews. what got that idiot in the clique? absolutely pointless person who genuinely couldn't produce a single sentence worth reading.

Pavlov`s Dog`s Dad`s Dead

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Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #68 on: January 25, 2021, 06:16:57 PM »
Jenkins has also given many completely polar opposite opinions on heritage issues.
Polar opposite? Even he can't ever have found Stuart Heritage funny.

Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #69 on: January 25, 2021, 07:31:18 PM »
Julie Burchill, if she still writes for them.

I can't hate Owen Jones too much because of the absolutely horrific homophobia he has to deal with from the far right.

Jockice

  • I really have red hair. And a **********.
Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #70 on: January 25, 2021, 08:26:13 PM »
Wasn't the best, wasn't the worst. Big Mary Chain fan IIRC, which gets a *thumbs up* from me. Writes drivel nowadays.

I met Barbara Ellen once. After a Yazz concert. She was very drunk. Yazz was lovely though and even gave me a kiss.

Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #71 on: January 25, 2021, 11:37:03 PM »
As much as I despise the vast majority of their political commentators, I reserve special ire for whoever writes The Measure in the magazine on Saturdays.


Going up

Cloud socks It’s too summery for house clogs. Try these cashmere socks, which look (and feel) like clouds.

Darn-core Toast has online classes to teach you how to mend your clothes, while Grenson now has a shoecycling repair service. Fashion: Saving you a pretty penny.

Hi, fidelity Tower Records is back (online at least). Time to get your vinyl thrills in.

Morning candles If the only thing that got you through December was putting the Christmas tree lights on at 7am, try a breakfast candle.


Going down

Pavement scooters To quote Tina Wilcox in Jaws 2: “Please make it go away.”

Beersteria We thought the worst thing about Tier 4 was pubs closing. Turns out we miss galleries more. Roll on Turner at the Tate.

Celebrity wine Forget about it. Now Elon Musk’s Tesla does tequila, we’ll have what he’s having.

Hollywood hotties In the spirit of 2020, utterly weird crushes dominated the US election coverage, with everyone going gaga for the geeky newscasters.

https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/series/the-measure

Quote
To quote Tina Wilcox in Jaws 2: “Please make it go away.”

Why would anyone willingly write that?

Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #72 on: January 25, 2021, 11:46:45 PM »
Polar opposite? Even he can't ever have found Stuart Heritage funny.
if this isn't a joke, i mean that he writes a column about historic church buildings every six months and flips back and forth between "we need to nationalise them" and "they should sell them off". it's not helpful at all. stuart heritage is a pointless clown who needs to go into a bin.

notjosh

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Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #73 on: January 26, 2021, 08:07:24 AM »
As much as I despise the vast majority of their political commentators, I reserve special ire for whoever writes The Measure in the magazine on Saturdays.

This is 90% of the Guardian's non-news output. Just some prick assuming that because they and their Guardian mates are into something that they're somehow tapping into (or worse, creating) the zeitgeist.

I mean what the fuck am I supposed to take from that shit? Oh, I should be lighting my candles in the morning now, silly me, I thought it was still evenings like they said last month, hope none of the neighbours noticed. Oh, I'm supposed to fancy a newsreader am I, I wonder if Fiona Bruce counts, should I change my facebook status and let people know. Oh you can buy vinyl records online now can you, wow that internet really has everything.

Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #74 on: January 26, 2021, 08:33:53 AM »
Lucy “3* review of Chernobyl” Mangan. Unbelievably, she’s even worse than Wollaston as she seems to have little liking for or interest in television.

Drivelled on for several pars about Downton Abbey (set in the early 20th C) in her review of Bridgerton (set in the early 19th C). All costume dramas, same innit?

pigamus

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Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #75 on: January 26, 2021, 08:40:37 AM »
I’d rate her the worst snob in the whole paper, and that’s saying something

buttgammon

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Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #76 on: January 26, 2021, 10:24:48 AM »
This is 90% of the Guardian's non-news output. Just some prick assuming that because they and their Guardian mates are into something that they're somehow tapping into (or worse, creating) the zeitgeist.

I mean what the fuck am I supposed to take from that shit? Oh, I should be lighting my candles in the morning now, silly me, I thought it was still evenings like they said last month, hope none of the neighbours noticed. Oh, I'm supposed to fancy a newsreader am I, I wonder if Fiona Bruce counts, should I change my facebook status and let people know. Oh you can buy vinyl records online now can you, wow that internet really has everything.

This lifestyle crap is awful. I occasionally dip into that section and hate it all (and also, what's their thing with 'wild swimming'? They seem to publish daily articles on it).

The culture section is very bad too. The book reviews are just middlebrow tripe, and the rest of it is just a series of dull takes on superhero films with the odd bit of middle-class navel gazing thrown in. It's just as repetitive as the lifestyle section too, with multiple articles about whatever their latest favourite TV programme is (or are they still writing about Fleabag on a daily basis?).

Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #77 on: January 26, 2021, 10:53:13 AM »
As much as I despise the vast majority of their political commentators, I reserve special ire for whoever writes The Measure in the magazine on Saturdays.


Going up

Cloud socks It’s too summery for house clogs. Try these cashmere socks, which look (and feel) like clouds.

Darn-core Toast has online classes to teach you how to mend your clothes, while Grenson now has a shoecycling repair service. Fashion: Saving you a pretty penny.

Hi, fidelity Tower Records is back (online at least). Time to get your vinyl thrills in.

Morning candles If the only thing that got you through December was putting the Christmas tree lights on at 7am, try a breakfast candle.


Going down

Pavement scooters To quote Tina Wilcox in Jaws 2: “Please make it go away.”

Beersteria We thought the worst thing about Tier 4 was pubs closing. Turns out we miss galleries more. Roll on Turner at the Tate.

Celebrity wine Forget about it. Now Elon Musk’s Tesla does tequila, we’ll have what he’s having.

Hollywood hotties In the spirit of 2020, utterly weird crushes dominated the US election coverage, with everyone going gaga for the geeky newscasters.

https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/series/the-measure

Why would anyone willingly write that?
No lie, I was literally crying with laughter at your spot-on parody there until I got to the end and realised you'd cut and pasted a real one.

king_tubby

  • I'm on smoko, so leave me alone
Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #78 on: January 26, 2021, 10:55:36 AM »
Yeah, same here.

May the good Lord have mercy on our souls.

buttgammon

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Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #79 on: January 26, 2021, 10:56:47 AM »
That's real? I thought it was a particularly on-the-nose pisstake!

George Oscar Bluth II

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Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #80 on: January 26, 2021, 10:57:35 AM »
Have we done John "I went to a small town in the middle of the working day and everyone there was old, white and racist, therefore politics that isn't racist is doomed to failure" Harris yet.

Pavlov`s Dog`s Dad`s Dead

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Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #81 on: January 26, 2021, 11:08:28 AM »
if this isn't a joke, i mean that he writes a column about historic church buildings every six months and flips back and forth between "we need to nationalise them" and "they should sell them off". it's not helpful at all. stuart heritage is a pointless clown who needs to go into a bin.
My apologies, this was indeed a deliberate misunderstanding for comic effect. However, I'd hesitate to claim this raises it to actual joke status.

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

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Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #82 on: January 26, 2021, 11:10:15 AM »
Yeah, same here.

May the good Lord have mercy on our souls.

I thought it was a stunningly accurate parody too. Bloody hell.

Jockice

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Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #83 on: January 26, 2021, 11:34:50 AM »
Me too. I'd never seen that particular column. And while we're at it, I'd just like to express my dislike for Pass Notes. Smug shite.

notjosh

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Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #84 on: January 26, 2021, 11:47:30 AM »
It's just as repetitive as the lifestyle section too, with multiple articles about whatever their latest favourite TV programme is the new bingeable Netflix series we're all obsessed with right now!

buttgammon

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Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #85 on: January 26, 2021, 11:59:00 AM »
^Again, it's hard to tell whether that's a parody or not, because that's the exact phrase they would use too, italics and all.

kngen

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Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #86 on: January 26, 2021, 11:59:25 AM »
Yep, put me down as someone who thought 'Fuck, they've nailed the bastards there. That's spot on.'

I suppose that makes it, to use the well-worn phrase, beyond parody.

Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #87 on: January 26, 2021, 12:24:23 PM »
I fed some of those into old cab fav talktotransformer (which has changed and is limited on how much it lets you input now sadly)

Quote
Shine Like the Sun Electric socks were, uh, marketed with bright red hearts and the promise of dazzling up to 4,500 times. Does the sun still shine on you?

The Return of Perpetual Summer There’s no escaping the fact that summer is over. We could blame the weather. We could blame the White House. Or we could blame Kanye. But let’s face it. Summer is over. Last year’s wave of merino jumpers may have been a bubble, but it’s gone now. Now it’s just wool, rain and chafing.

Cookie cutter Toilettos are an ugly option, but getting your footwear fitted professionally is the better way to get the right fit for comfort.

Danish Cellophane Cheap materials will go out of fashion soon, but the many ways to get patterned fabric like this one in easy-to-wear fabrics will not.

An article published in the Summer 2014 issue of Vogue.

How does it keep up with the news like that?

kngen

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Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #88 on: January 26, 2021, 12:39:39 PM »
Quote
Now it’s just wool, rain and chafing.

Lovely Accidental Ivor Cutler turn of phrase there.

gilbertharding

  • Lipsmackin' thirstquenchin' acetastin' motivatin'
Re: Who are the worst writers in The Guardian? [split topic]
« Reply #89 on: January 26, 2021, 12:42:23 PM »
It's like they all listened to The Sunday Format and considered it an instruction manual.

Has anyone mentioned Eva Wiseman yet?

I wish they'd update their byline pictures. They can't all still look like that.

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