Creepy Thread V: All new standard creeps and mystery creeps

[Paul Calf]

Funny you should say that, I had another creepy experience in a cave. As a child I went caving with a couple of guides as part of a school trip. Not super dangerous caves or anything, but not show caves either. Had to wear head lamps, go through deep water, and do some crawling in a few places.

Anyway, we'd been going for about an hour or so, getting deeper all the time. At those depths there's no natural light at all, its really incredible how dark it gets. We round this tight bend in the cave and suddenly we're face-to-face with a man, thin, over 6' tall with long straggly hair and a hollow sunken face, standing there in the pitch black with no light or torch of any kind.

Before anyone could react he just starts screeching 'TICKETS PLEASE! TICKETS PLEASE! TICKETS PLEASE!' over and over again. And we're all frozen with shock, not knowing what to do, and then Jason Mullins reaches into his pocket and takes out an old bus ticket. He hands it to the man, and his hand was shaking while he did this, who grabs it and runs off into the dark cackling.

Chills me to think about who that might have been, and how he was able to see in the dark. I can still remember his black vacant eyes and his long, dirty fingernails as he grabbed the bus ticket. Also he was wearing an EMF t-shirt because it was the nineties.

Fuck me, that sounds terrifying. How did you not shit yourselves?

[The Dog]

We were very frightened but then Craig Wothers asked Mr Hawkins why his Dad was living in the cave, and everyone laughed.

[C_Larence]

Sorry, again not much of a contribution but a request. Does anyone know the ostensible American urban legend that turned out to just be a friendly disfigured bloke who liked to hang out by the train tracks or something. I'd rather not google it because god knows what'll come up. I think his name was something like "the green man" but it's not that.

Edit: I can contribute this video of a man with balls of steel exploring an abandoned mine in the middle of nowhere, during a thunderstorm. Jump to 12 minutes to hear the voices :)
https://youtu.be/UVEU6n2eKtg

[QDRPHNC]

I never realised that Ted The Caver was the first ever Creepypasta. It's definitely worth a listen/read if you've never heard/read it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zauWt2WxL2o

Yes, I remember reading that site years and years ago. It was great.

[QDRPHNC]

Sorry, again not much of a contribution but a request. Does anyone know the ostensible American urban legend that turned out to just be a friendly disfigured bloke who liked to hang out by the train tracks or something. I'd rather not google it because god knows what'll come up. I think his name was something like "the green man" but it's not that.

The Green Man, his real name was Raymond Robinson.

Raymond Robinson (October 29, 1910 – June 11, 1985) was a severely disfigured man whose years of nighttime walks made him into a figure of urban legend in western Pennsylvania. Robinson was so badly injured in a childhood electrical accident that he could not go out in public without fear of creating a panic, so he went for long walks at night. Local tourists would drive along his road in hopes of meeting The Green Man or Charlie No-Face. They passed on tales about him to their children and grandchildren, and people raised on these tales are sometimes surprised to discover that he was a real person who was liked by his family and neighbors.

[C_Larence]

The Green Man, his real name was Raymond Robinson.

Oh, I googled the green man and nothing about him came up so I assumed I'd misremembered. Thanks!

[BlodwynPig]

Sorry, again not much of a contribution but a request. Does anyone know the ostensible American urban legend that turned out to just be a friendly disfigured bloke who liked to hang out by the train tracks or something. I'd rather not google it because god knows what'll come up. I think his name was something like "the green man" but it's not that.

Edit: I can contribute this video of a man with balls of steel exploring an abandoned mine in the middle of nowhere, during a thunderstorm. Jump to 12 minutes to hear the voices :)
https://youtu.be/UVEU6n2eKtg

Do you like Dan Bell?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfKcF9S1z1E

[BlodwynPig]

The Green Man, his real name was Raymond Robinson.

Crikey, there is a photo on google images where it looks like melting nazi from Raiders of the Lost Ark is fronting Joy Division. Below. *spoiler, not that bad*

https://allthatsinteresting.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/ray-teens.jpg

[The Dog]

Around ten years ago I got into the habit of having a lovely bowl of hot soup for lunch, a different type f soup every day all cooked by me in my microwave. So one day, I took a carton of soup from the fridge - spicy vegetable - and pour it into my bowl, as usual. I placed the bowl in the microwave, set the timer for 4 mins and hit start. Now usually I would watch the soup as it cooked, but on this day I was reading a magazine article about cloth and was so deeply absorbed in the article that the ping of the microwave startled me. I turned around, opened the microwave and, to my horror, THE SOUP WAS GONE.

Of course I was shaken by this turn of events, but by bedtime I had calmed down sufficiently, and I quickly fell into a deep sleep. Then, in the middle of the night, I awoke, with a start. Knowing instinctively something was wrong, I threw back the duvet to see - yes, I was covered from neck to ankle in piping hot spicy vegetable soup!

Of course I placed my soup sodden night clothes into the washing machine and tried to get over this horrifying turn of events. I did not go back to sleep of course, but instead read a book until the sun rose. After a few hours, I transferred my pyjamas to the drier and carried on with my daily activities. I took a walk in the local park, caught up on some paperwork, nothing unusual or macabre. Then, tired from the day I prepared myself for bed. Remembering my pyjamas had been washed I went to retrieve them from the drier, but to my horror THE DRIER WAS COMPLETELY EMPTY! This being my only pair of pyjamas I was forced to sleep beneath my duvet as nature intended. 

In the middle of the night, I awoke, with a start. Again I knew instantly that something was wrong, and once again I threw back the covers to reveal - I WAS NOW WEARING MY PYJAMAS. And they were covered from neck to ankle in piping hot spicy vegetable soup.

[BlodwynPig]

GAH! *endless shivers* at that last bit.

[C_Larence]

Crikey, there is a photo on google images where it looks like melting nazi from Raiders of the Lost Ark is fronting Joy Division. Below. *spoiler, not that bad*

https://allthatsinteresting.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/ray-teens.jpg

Here's a nice local paper article about him with contributions from people who met him. Also has a couple of blurry polaroids of Robinson.
https://www.post-gazette.com/local/neighborhood/2018/10/31/Locals-and-former-locals-recall-their-memories-of-the-Green-Man/stories/201810310130

[The Ombudsman]

Before anyone could react he just starts screeching 'TICKETS PLEASE! TICKETS PLEASE! TICKETS PLEASE!' over and over again. And we're all frozen with shock, not knowing what to do, and then Jason Mullins reaches into his pocket and takes out an old bus ticket. He hands it to the man, and his hand was shaking while he did this, who grabs it and runs off into the dark cackling.

Most bus tickets are non transferable. I do hope he didn't get into trouble.

[BlodwynPig]

I've just checked and the poster "The Dog" never existed. Neil has no record of him/her signing up here either.

[Avril Lavigne]

Sam The Sandown Clown

Thanks for posting this, Phil! Looking further into is has kept me entertained for hours (I found several podcast episodes covering it). Exactly the kind of weird story I really dig. The fact that it's from the UK in the '70s adds a Scarfolk Council vibe to it in my mind.

[Dex Sawash]

There is a recurring noise coming from the work shitter that sounds like the seat clicking down like someone has sat down.
The sound goes away if you go look AND  the seat is up.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Ah, a vomitorium

[PlanktonSideburns]

you probably gonna find a logical explanation and ruin this, but look how many dogs this bloke has filmed on his youtube channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiAqMcEoYjsUbLJSgLvCggQ/videos

explain that one boffins. years and years of nearly constant dogposting

scrolling down, trying to get to the end, sense of deep, unexplainable concern rising

[Hand Solo]

There is a recurring noise coming from the work shitter that sounds like the seat clicking down like someone has sat down.
The sound goes away if you go look AND  the seat is up.

Wind creating air-flow currents in the drains and pulling or pushing air through the tank so that it judders against the upright seat causing it to rattle against it?

[MoonDust]

There is a recurring noise coming from the work shitter that sounds like the seat clicking down like someone has sat down.
The sound goes away if you go look AND  the seat is up.

Is the ghost's name John?

[MoonDust]

Also the state of that work shitter is reason enough to go on strike.

[Cuntbeaks]

There is a recurring noise coming from the work shitter that sounds like the seat clicking down like someone has sat down.
The sound goes away if you go look AND  the seat is up.

That's one desolate looking shitter.

The grimly worn pathway to the bowl
The peeling and frankly depressing paintwork
The jaunty Home Bargains photo frame above the shit wipes
The general bleak feeling of misery and quiet horror

Horrible.

[Twit 2]

That's a NAILS SHITTER, mate. Will deal with anything: impact wrenches, gasoline, actual nails, mechanics' shits, the lot. Bet the flush on that is like the roar of a bastard followed by the chuckle of a git. It's even got an oracle—the advice you'd get off those Pythian fumes would see you retiring at 50. Top shitter, that.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The ones to watch out for are Nails Shitters on the sly, subdued flush mechanism, not much in the way of sound, but as if by magic, turbo annihilation on the sly. Absolute rascals.

[Twit 2]

Ooh yes, love an unassuming shitter, demure even. Butter wouldn't melt, but you try and give it Harpic and it's like "Away ya cunt!" It's got its own gravel it uses to self-clean through grim attrition.

[Sebastian Cobb]

The ones to watch out for are Nails Shitters on the sly, subdued flush mechanism, not much in the way of sound, but as if by magic, turbo annihilation on the sly. Absolute rascals.

Old hospital ones are like that. There was one that would overfill and start flushing by itself, that was always a nasty surprise.

[BlodwynPig]

"Wear gloves"

Also, is the photo taken from the open plan office space, giving everyone full access to your bowel movements?

[Icehaven]

Why is the sink so big? What were they anticipating being washed in it?

[Paul Calf]

There is a recurring noise coming from the work shitter that sounds like the seat clicking down like someone has sat down.
The sound goes away if you go look AND  the seat is up.

That's one desolate looking shitter.

The grimly worn pathway to the bowl
The peeling and frankly depressing paintwork
The jaunty Home Bargains photo frame above the shit wipes
The general bleak feeling of misery and quiet horror

Horrible.

Fritzl's toilet.

[The Dog]

It's not really supernatural or inexplicable or anything, but I went to the toilet in a butchers once and instead of toilet roll they had rashers of bacon. Probably belongs in the obvious things you've only just realised thread, but it did seem weird at first.

[Paul Calf]

It's not really supernatural or inexplicable or anything, but I went to the toilet in a butchers once and instead of toilet roll they had rashers of bacon. Probably belongs in the obvious things you've only just realised thread, but it did seem weird at first.

Lean back?