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Creepy Thread V: All new standard creeps and mystery creeps

Started by BlodwynPig, February 01, 2021, 12:10:08 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

BlodwynPig



Quote from: Paul Calf on February 04, 2021, 10:50:41 AM
Lean back?

Have you got a sheep's head?
Spoiler alert
No it's the way I part my hair.
[close]

Do you keep dripping?
Spoiler alert
Annoying, isn't it?
[close]

Etc, etc...

Mr Farenheit

Quote from: PlanktonSideburns on February 03, 2021, 06:03:18 PM
you probably gonna find a logical explanation and ruin this, but look how many dogs this bloke has filmed on his youtube channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiAqMcEoYjsUbLJSgLvCggQ/videos

explain that one boffins. years and years of nearly constant dogposting

scrolling down, trying to get to the end, sense of deep, unexplainable concern rising

This is a location that could benefit from a teleported t-rex.

Fambo Number Mive

Why does the toilet seat have a gap at the front? Is it so something else can be slotted in?

Massive paper towel dispenser.

Butchers Blind

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on February 04, 2021, 02:34:29 PM
Why does the toilet seat have a gap at the front? Is it so something else can be slotted in?

Massive paper towel dispenser.

If you're peeing standing and the seat drops, should miss your dick.


Hand Solo

Quote from: Butchers Blind on February 04, 2021, 02:41:58 PM
If you're peeing standing and the seat drops, should miss your dick.

Quite the opposite of my technique.

non capisco

Quote from: Phil_A on February 02, 2021, 10:51:07 PM
Sam The Sandown Clown



Absolutely love this proper hauntological, dream logic old flannel. Where's Sandown? *checks* The Isle Of Wight, course it would be.

Look at him, there. Karaoke pioneer. Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be an eerie half-wooden robot thing in hand me down Primark duds. Love the Bryan Ferry-esque jacket fling pose.


PlanktonSideburns


BlodwynPig


Dex Sawash


PlanktonSideburns


Dex Sawash


Phil_A

Quote from: non capisco on February 04, 2021, 03:07:46 PM
Absolutely love this proper hauntological, dream logic old flannel. Where's Sandown? *checks* The Isle Of Wight, course it would be.

Look at him, there. Karaoke pioneer. Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be an eerie half-wooden robot thing in hand me down Primark duds. Love the Bryan Ferry-esque jacket fling pose.

I just love that it feels completely like an unmade Children's Film Foundation story to me. I can picture the scratchy, faded film-stock and the bad seventies haircuts on the kids. Bernard Bresslaw playing Sam.

gib

Quote from: Voltan (Man of Steel) on February 04, 2021, 11:32:50 AM
Have you got a sheep's head?
Spoiler alert
No it's the way I part my hair.
[close]

Do you keep dripping?
Spoiler alert
Annoying, isn't it?
[close]

Etc, etc...

I bet you £50 that you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging on the hooks up there.

Paul Calf

Quote from: gib on February 05, 2021, 12:30:45 AM
I bet you £50 that you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging on the hooks up there.

Is that your Ayrshire bacon?

non capisco

Quote from: Phil_A on February 05, 2021, 12:27:34 AM
I just love that it feels completely like an unmade Children's Film Foundation story to me. I can picture the scratchy, faded film-stock and the bad seventies haircuts on the kids. Bernard Bresslaw playing Sam.

Ha ha, exactly! A young Cheggers as the unnamed boy.



Quote from: gib on February 05, 2021, 12:30:45 AM
I bet you £50 that you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging on the hooks up there.

No, it's just ma hands I'm warming.

BlodwynPig


The Dog

Back in the 1980s I was working as the manager of a large Morrison's supermarket for some reason. As part of my job, I had to open up the shop in the morning and so I was usually the first one in the store.

One morning I opened up as usual, went into the store and was hit by an odd feeling that something wasn't quite right. I felt uneasy, and so rather than doing my usual supermarket stuff I decided to have a quick walk of the aisles to see if anything was wrong. Sure enough, lying propped up against the Frosties was a man, seemingly fast asleep. He had long hair and a full beard, but he seemed young and did not have the look of a man who regularly slept on the street, still I assumed that somehow a homeless man had managed to get into the store after I had locked up.

Not knowing what else to do, I called the police, but before they arrived the man awoke. He was groggy and confused, but did not seem drunk or otherwise incapable, and I escorted him to my office to await the police.

His told me his name was James, and that he'd come into the shop in order to buy Findus Crispy pancakes for his wife.  Findus crispy pancakes were huge in the 1980s and everyone from Margaret Thatcher and Arthur Scarhill to Roland Rat and I don't know let's say Keith Chegwin used to eat them.

James told me that his wife was absolutely mad for the 'cakes and she used to eat a big plate of them every Thursday as a special treat. He'd come into the shop, from which he regularly bought all of his crispy goods, and headed towards the frozen foods aisle. He found that the aisles had been rearranged and he couldn't find the one he was looking for. In fact, he pretty quickly found he couldn't find anything he recognised at all. He started walking the aisles, his pace increasing eventually to a panicked run. No sign of his crispy pancakes, but now also no sign of the exit! He asked his fellow shoppers for directions but the directions were contradictory, and led nowhere. Eventually, he found people ignoring him as his increasingly panicked requests for help got louder and louder. It was as if they couldn't see him at all.

By his estimate he had walked the aisles for hours and hours before eventually becoming tired and sitting down in the aisle where I found him.

Eventually the police came. There was no need to make an arrest, as the unusual man hadn't stolen anything or caused any damage. In fact there was no evidence he had broken into the store at all, which I cannot explain as I had searched the store myself before closing up, and it was empty. Owing to his slightly confused state and his bizarre story they insisted on contacting his wife. Which they were able to do.

Eventually his wife came to the store to collect him, and here is what she told us. Her husband, in fact named John, had left the house to obtain Findus crispy pancakes over 7 years ago. She had not seen him since, despite an extensive search lasting years. In fact, she had found no evidence whatsoever of his movements that day, as if he had disappeared from the face of the earth. She, and all his friends and colleagues had long since assumed he was dead.

She was sure it was her husband and although he called her Anna instead of Anne and himself James instead of John, he agreed that she was his wife. The police were sufficiently satisfied with this resolution, and left.

However, there was one detail that has always stayed with me. James, or John, never did get his Findus crispy pancakes, and nor could he. You see, his wife Anna, or Anne, who ate crispy pancakes every Thursday of her life, who was a crispy pancake maniac with an almost debilitating obsession with the snack, and who knew everything there was to know about them, had sent him to the store that morning to buy Chocolate crispy pancakes, but Findus never made chocolate crispy pancakes. Not in this universe anyway.




BlodwynPig


Emma Raducanu

I've been enjoying this guys videos of celebrity glitches. He has a couple. They're partly hilarious, partly wtf? and partly explainable away but they're nice easy 2am viewing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CG1prh9vhp8&t=440s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWGuC_r9xBY

BlodwynPig

Quote from: DolphinFace on February 06, 2021, 10:24:02 AM
I've been enjoying this guys videos of celebrity glitches. He has a couple. They're partly hilarious, partly wtf? and partly explainable away but they're nice easy 2am viewing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CG1prh9vhp8&t=440s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWGuC_r9xBY

yes, that Shaq one is creepy, and the Babs Bush is just old skool 'repeat the phrase and the herd will absorb' crap...however, the basketball guy is ridiculous - just a waxwork - you can tell because (a) his right ear is being positioned and (b) its a fucking waxwork.

MoonDust

Any news on the CIA's UFO files that were declassified last month? Always love UFO stuff. Those videos of impossibly fast objects flying over the Atlantic ocean that were picked up by US Navy planes a few years ago are probably the least bullshit UFO footage I've seen.

I'm fascinated with the idea that UFOs are aliens rather than secret tech. I don't really believe the Roswell stuff and aliens currently walking the earth but are being kept secret by the government. I just think they're watching us but not interfering. Probably not interfering because we're not advanced enough.

Sure, we've flown to the moon, but we still have to always descale the bloody kettle.

Must look like idiots to them. Also the fact we still have wars. To any civilisation that is advanced enough to seek out other civilisations and visit them, the idea of warfare is probably in the fogs of their prehistory. We must look dumb as fucking bricks to them; of course they haven't said hello yet.