Phil The Greek In Hospital

[Phoenix Lazarus]

The Queen's sad and fearful reluctance to hear details when told there's an update on Phil.

[thecuriousorange]

Well it's definitely another horrible anus for the Queen, what with this and her frayed frenemyship with Meghan being blown wide open on Oprah.

[Ferris]

The CoD is always in good spirits. Dubonnet, mostly.

I am a bit fascinated by the CoD's habit of a snifter of gin and Dubonnet for breakfast. I like a drink but that's beyond the pale.

I looked up Dubonnet because I had no idea what it was, and the last line from this ad from 1915 really made me chuckle.

[BritishHobo]

Spurious imitators reading that thinking "the game is really uo now, we can't possibly put a cat on our labels".

[Blue Jam]

I looked up Dubonnet because I had no idea what it was, and the last line from this ad from 1915 really made me chuckle.

How apt.

Dubonnet is a "tonic wine". It's just posh Buckfast.

[steve98]

Isn't it closer to a Sherry? (But Italian?)

[Ferris]

Spurious imitators reading that thinking "the game is really up now, we can't possibly put a cat on our labels".

I really liked the instruction for consumers to be as rude as possible to any and all rival businesses. In 1915; it's the equivalent of saying "if you see some FUCKER trying to sell something that looks a bit like ours - throw their gloves in a puddle and call them a CUNT"

[Blue Jam]

Isn't it closer to a Sherry? (But Italian?)

No. The Queen is just a massive jakey.

[Cuellar]

"The Original and Genuine Dubonnet has a CAT in it"

[Ferris]

"The Original and Genuine Dubonnet has a CAT in it"

"So don't you DARE try and sell me this hooky SHITE, you conniving PRICK"

[steve98]

No. The Queen is just a massive jakey.

Aye. "O Ah luv mah fuckin' swally, so Ah dae", she often says.

[Blue Jam]

She loves a read of The Racing Post too. I find it a bit rich of people to call the Middletons and the Markles common when the CoD basically behaves like any number of blokes who spend all day at Ladbrokes.

[steve98]

A rollie in her gob.

[dissolute ocelot]

How apt.

Dubonnet is a "tonic wine". It's just posh Buckfast.

It contains quinine so it'll cure your malaria too.

[steve98]

When I was young I worked in a posh off-licence in Glasgow, and it was amazing the number of old biddies who bought tonic wine (not Buckfast though, Buckfast was for arabs*, the discerning old biddy chose Sanatogen, "Ah take it for the iron, son: Ah'm deficient".)

*common people.



(I dunno if it's supposed to cure baldness though... worth a shot)

[Phoenix Lazarus]

It contains quinine so it'll cure your malaria too.

Thought that was Captain Tom's gin.

[thecuriousorange]

We're all paying to keep to keep this state-funded Skeletor alive.

[monkfromhavana]

He'll be fine after his biennial stay in a hospital so he can feed on the souls of other senile old clots on the way out.

[steve98]

He'll be fine after his biennial stay in a hospital so he can feed on the souls of other senile old clots on the way out.

Adrenal glands of tortured children, actually. Do your research.

[Blue Jam]

Palpatine will remain in good spirits well into the next week:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-56131921

Yep, definitely diagnosed with DEAD SOON

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Palpatine will remain in good spirits

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-56131921

The ones used to embalm him.

[JamesTC]

So he is in King Edward Hospital? Clearly being sent to the ground with the rest of the potatoes.

[Blue Jam]

I always liked the little bio of him here, where he has been #1 for the past two years:

https://deathlist.net/

Four 2021 deaths already, that's some good predictin'. These people make us look like bastions of tasteful restraint:

https://forums.deathlist.net/topic/8107-1-prince-philip-duke-of-edinburgh/?page=91

[Blue Jam]

So he is in King Edward Hospital? Clearly being sent to the ground with the rest of the potatoes.

Yeah, they're the best in the world for treating blight.

[JamesTC]

Yeah, they're the best in the world for treating blight.

That really is the perfect way of describing what he is suffering from.

[monkfromhavana]

Adrenal glands of tortured children, actually. Do your research.

Prince Andrew has put the kybosh on that for the moment hasn't he though?

It has to take any form of nutrition it can at the moment to keep itself alive, or at least buy time so it can inhabit a new host.

[BritishHobo]

I always liked the little bio of him here, where he has been #1 for the past two years:

https://deathlist.net/

Four 2021 deaths already, that's some good predictin'. These people make us look like bastions of tasteful restraint:

https://forums.deathlist.net/topic/8107-1-prince-philip-duke-of-edinburgh/?page=91

Captain Tom at number 50 being described as 'a UK COVID-19 Personality'. Lovely.

[Butchers Blind]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-56141128

Not long now.

[Blue Jam]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-56141128

Not long now.

There's already been a bit of a backlash over ol' Gouty Hands breaking lockdown rules when the plebs aren't allowed to visit their loved ones in hospital. I wonder why an exception has been made here... Yep, diagnosis: DEAD SOON

A palace source previously said the duke, who is due to turn 100 in June

Not "turns 100 in June", no. He's "due to turn 100 in June". And turns DEAD SOON in February.

[George Oscar Bluth II]

A state funeral with more than the legally allowed 30 mourners will lift the spirits of the nation I'm sure, particularly those who have had to watch a loved one's funeral via live stream.