Phil The Greek In Hospital

[idunnosomename]

i'm going to clench my bowels so I live another 90 years. 118 I'll be

[DrGreggles]

Hope he pulls through.

[JamesTC]

Shocking news! If his will can't be made publicly available for 90 years after his death, we could be waiting at least 300 or 400 years to find out who inherited his collection of racist playing cards.

To my darling wife The Queen, I bequeath my pen which has a naked lady when you press the top.

[Chollis]

Just saw 'Prince Philip' trending and nearly shat myself. God can you imagine

[buttgammon]

To my darling wife The Queen, I bequeath my pen which has a naked lady when you press the top.

How embarrassing that she's still likely to be alive when the will is publicly revealed 90 years after he dies. Whenever that is, seeing as he's still alive.

[who cares]

he's still alive

...with soul!

[Replies From View]

i'm going to clench my bowels so I live another 90 years. 118 I'll be

118 118 hello I have a question


how old will you end up being if you clench your bowels

[Blue Jam]

Good to hear he's alive and well and larking about with squeezy mustard:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-58628865

[shiftwork2]

Love that forelock-tugger schtick where it's revealed in hushed tones that a Royal once ate a peach or sat in a chair.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Love that forelock-tugger schtick where it's revealed in hushed tones that a Royal once ate a peach

To be fair, that's actually quite daring ( dead cultured joke for all you T S Eliot fans. Quite happy to raise the tone in this HA HA WE'RE PRETENDING OLD FREDDIE KRUEGER FEATURES ISNAE DEAD, ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS? thread)

[Huxleys Babkins]

Good to hear he's alive and well and larking about with squeezy mustard:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-58628865

Hahahaha! I'm sure the servant that had to clean mustard off of an ornate ceiling and priceless carpet must have found that fucking hilarious. Well done, sir!

[Blue Jam]

Cleaning up after Prince Philip is an honour, like being racially abused by him.

[idunnosomename]

Hahahaha! I'm sure the servant that had to clean mustard off of an ornate ceiling and priceless carpet must have found that fucking hilarious. Well done, sir!

especially when it happened multiple times!! Glad to hear the royal palaces we fund with our taxes are put to such good use in that children are encourage to squirt mustard on them by our royal consort!!! Please sir may i have another hilarious anecdote about the old cunt

[Blumf]

Getting your mustard in squeezable tubes is a bit off if you ask me. We'll be hearing about how much he liked Cheestrings next.

[Butchers Blind]

Great hijinks, of course the real fun came when he got one of the serfs to lick it up, "Lick up that mustard, pleb. See grandchildren, they do it willingly. Hahaha. Now let's go kill something".

[Pavlov`s Dog`s Dad`s Dead]

Getting your mustard in squeezable tubes is a bit off if you ask me. We'll be hearing about how much he likeds Cheestrings next.

FTFY

[Huxleys Babkins]

The doctors have put him on a zero Cheesestring diet, so Blumf was correct to talk about him liking them in the past tense.

Of course, I don't expect Phil to respect doctors' orders, so he's probably wolfing a few down in the pantry as I'm typing this.

[Ferris]

Good to hear he's alive and well and larking about with squeezy mustard:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-58628865

Ah, a sycophantic hagiography for a very rich dead man. Just what we all needed.

[Chollis]

a very rich dead man.

?

[idunnosomename]

It's trending (entirely naturally, I'm sure) on twitter his office was in the same state as he left it.

I should think so too!!!!!!!

[Clatty McCutcheon]

Hahahaha! I'm sure the servant that had to clean mustard off of an ornate ceiling and priceless carpet must have found that fucking hilarious. Well done, sir!

I did the cleaning there for a couple of years, and it was indeed an honour to have Prince Philip throw ball bearings at me and call me a 'pygmy-fucker' as I cleaned the mustard off the ceiling. It was just his way of making me feel welcome and valued, and I appreciated his refreshingly un-PC approach to man-management.

[Huxleys Babkins]

?

He probably meant to say dead rich originally, thought it in bad taste as Phil's been quite poorly recently and buggered up the edit.

[idunnosomename]

Oops wrong thread. Hope he pulls through.

[Ferris]

He probably meant to say dead rich originally, thought it in bad taste as Phil's been quite poorly recently and buggered up the edit.

Yes, my sincere apologies. Sending best wishes for a speedy recovery.

[Huxleys Babkins]

I hear he's sat up in bed, hosing the whole ward down with mustard, the loveable old scamp.

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

I hear he's sat up in bed, hosing the whole ward down with mustard, the loveable old scamp.

"mustard"_{[nb]see: cum[/nb]}

[Blue Jam]

Getting your mustard in squeezable tubes is a bit off if you ask me.

He probably just nicks it off the servants. I bet he doesn't waste his Grey Poupon* like that.

^*fnar

[Fambo Number Mive]

Must be nice to be rich enough to be able to waste food like that.

I thought too much mustard went up your nose, not on the ceiling.

[shiftwork2]

Missed 'tube of mustard'.  Fucking peasant scrote.

Off with his head.

[Blumf]

Must be nice to be rich enough to be able to waste food like that.

Oooh here we go, with the benefits claimant bashing! Bloody Daily Mail in here.