Meat substitutes

[NoOffenceLynn]

Seconding other posters who mentioned Linda Mccarthy's range, the meat free range in Aldi is great too.

Friend and l were out last year and he fancied a KFC with their grey spindly chicken, their gravy is nice to dip chips in so I went anyway.
They were doing the new vegan burger so l got it for my mate, telling him it was a new flavour chicken burger. He loved it and honestly didn't believe me when l told him it was vegan.
Also, haven't tried them but l'm always hearing good stuff about Heck sausages, if you're missing your Sunday fry up.

[holyzombiejesus]

That quorn roast thing seems predominantly aimed at people who are having vegetarians over for Sunday dinner and have no idea what to give them. I had to go to Asda today and they do a similar thing but even theirs didn't look as awful as the Quorn thing. That serving suggestion!

I've also noticed that both Asda and Morrisons are keeping their vegan fake meat in the actual meat chillers. The latter even keeps the vegan Heck sausages (my wife's favourite vegetarian sausages) next to the meat Heck sausages. Seems a bit weird.

[holyzombiejesus]

Also, haven't tried them but l'm always hearing good stuff about Heck sausages, if you're missing your Sunday fry up.

Wrote my post as you were doing yours... The 'plain' vegan heck sausages are a bit weird. They're really dense so quite good for a stew but I don't think they're that great otherwise. Sainsbury's Plant Pioneer Shroomdogs are much nicer. Asda's red onion chipolatas are nice too and quite good for barms as they're quite slender.

[NoOffenceLynn]

Wrote my post as you were doing yours... The 'plain' vegan heck sausages are a bit weird. They're really dense so quite good for a stew but I don't think they're that great otherwise. Sainsbury's Plant Pioneer Shroomdogs are much nicer. Asda's red onion chipolatas are nice too and quite good for barms as they're quite slender.

Oh nice, thanks for the tip.
I sometimes slice the Linda Mccarthy's ones open and stuff in some tomatoes and basil, delicious on a roll that's hot from the oven.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Quorn tastes of nothing, honestly. I eat it now and then (the chunks do nicely in a stir fry). It mimics the texture of meat but you'd want some sort of seasoning or sauce on it.

[thenoise]

As someone who grew up with vegetarian parents in the 1980s I enjoy the old-style veggie stodge, nutroast and nut cutlets and plenty of lentils and beans. I find breaking wind absolutely hilarious, endlessly entertaining, so that is certainly a plus.

Cant be dealing with this newfangled jackfruit that bleeds when you cut it shite. I like food to look like what it is.

[Rizla]

As someone who grew up with vegetarian parents in the 1980s I enjoy the old-style veggie stodge, nutroast and nut cutlets and plenty of lentils and beans. I find breaking wind absolutely hilarious, endlessly entertaining, so that is certainly a plus.

Likewise. I actually did tofu with brown rice for dinner tonight, and my arse is subsequently lovin' life in full praise the lord mode. Halleluja!!!

[holyzombiejesus]

We had this...

https://www.theguardian.com/food/2021/jan/25/thomasina-miers-recipe-for-savoy-cabbage-and-fennel-sausage-lasagne

Cabbage and lentils! Quack.

[flotemysost]

The rice is boring, the sweet n sour is good, but the chicken balls are brilliant, wish they just did a massive box of those with a tub of sauce.

Ooh, this sounds good. I've had mixed feelings about the Plant Kitchen range bits I've tried so far - quite liked the No Turkey festive sandwich, but the fake tuna one was a bit bizarre.

As someone who grew up with vegetarian parents in the 1980s I enjoy the old-style veggie stodge, nutroast and nut cutlets and plenty of lentils and beans. I find breaking wind absolutely hilarious, endlessly entertaining, so that is certainly a plus.

Cant be dealing with this newfangled jackfruit that bleeds when you cut it shite. I like food to look like what it is.

As someone who was vegetarian for some of my childhood/teens (late 90s-mid 00s, I suppose), this was my (meat-eating) mum's concept of vege food and at the time I got really fed up of nut cutlets and vegetable sandwich spread and the like, but now I actually quite like that stuff.

We did have a bag of Quorn mince in the freezer, I think mainly so that she could just cook normal mince and assure me it was from this miraculously everlasting bag of Quorn, which she has since confessed to doing (fair play - as a self absorbed brat I obviously didn't think of the consequences of demanding a different diet to the rest of the family).

[flotemysost]

I also had a pizza with a vegetarian haggis topping on Burns Night this year. Which may well be peak hipster knob oblivion, but it was pretty tasty (and I have tried non-vegetarian haggis a few times).

[sarahzxcv]

Beyond burgers are great, but almost too meaty as to be suspicious. Naked glory do some 'chicken' chunks that are good too, but need to be well done I think. This isn't chicken salt and pepper bits are nice, but smell like absolute death uncooked. Basically there's always something up with them innit.

[Dex Sawash]

The Burger King (america) Impossible Whopper is indistinguishable from whatever a normal whopper is made of.

Had a Beyond Meat burger at the nice local burger place. Was exactly like undercooked ground beef in taste and texture. Felt a bit odd in the tummy after as though I would be shitting through the eye of a needle quite soon, but did not. 7.8/10

[Sherringford Hovis]

Magnificent - and I'm an unapologetic* meat eater. The Cumberland ones are great too, but the Caramelised Onion variety are probably an acquired taste - I don't mind them, but my wife hates them and I can't give 'em to the dogs coz of the onions.



These are awesome - regular Richmond meat sossies are shit, but these really are the business.


*Almost unapologetic. If I'm stoned, even with massive munchies the taste and even idea of meat grosses me out completely. Yet another positive argument for cannabis legality, I suppose.

[Thomas]

If you're in Ireland, these are amazing:



Perfect texture. And, like Richmond above, from a company that also kills pigs to make normal sausages, so they know what they're doing.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Except Richmond don't kill pigs to make normal sausages, they kill pigs to make fucking awful shit sausages for people who idolise the rationing era, with a meat content that is almost homeopathic.

[non capisco]

Can confirm these are good, as are the Sainsburys Plant Pioneers big sausage rolls, made with some kind of seasoned mushroom block that tastes indistinguishable from sausage meat but free of the worry of gristle.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Vegetarians? I shit 'em.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Can confirm these are good, as are the Sainsburys Plant Pioneers big sausage rolls, made with some kind of seasoned mushroom block that tastes indistinguishable from sausage meat but free of the worry of gristle.

It just shows how shite the average sausage roll has become that anyone would claim that. May be indistinguishable from the rationing era simulator grief roll churned out by Mulch Bros and Gregorys.

[non capisco]

I don't care what you get up to you in your sordid little grief roll.

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

I've always fancied trying seitan but you have to go all the way to Holland and Barrett to get the vital wheat gluten and then physically make the stuff yourself. That's almost as much work as actually physically killing an animal myself. No thank you, if you want me to be ethical then please do all the work for me Mr Tesco

[Sebastian Cobb]

Jackfruit shwarma (which if you spoonerise it sounds like a Trap producer) is good.

I've only used the fake mince a few times, it's fine in a chilli but I find it sticks to the bottom of the pan quite a bit, I guess it's the lack of fat.

[Gurke and Hare]

It just shows how shite the average sausage roll has become that anyone would claim that. May be indistinguishable from the rationing era simulator grief roll churned out by Mulch Bros and Gregorys.

When exactly do you imagine that the filling in the average sausage roll was 98% prime cuts of pork?

[thenoise]

Jackfruit shwarma (which if you spoonerise it sounds like a Trap producer) is good.

I've only used the fake mince a few times, it's fine in a chilli but I find it sticks to the bottom of the pan quite a bit, I guess it's the lack of fat.

Don't try and brown it dopey, it basically doesnt need cooking just absorbs water. Bung it in at the same time as the (tinned) beans, adding more water if it starts turning a bit dry.

[thenoise]

I also had a pizza with a vegetarian haggis topping on Burns Night this year. Which may well be peak hipster knob oblivion, but it was pretty tasty (and I have tried non-vegetarian haggis a few times).

Veggie haggis is very tasty indeed. Although I suspect that it isn't actually the lungs that make real haggis taste good.

[seepage]

I've found Quorn's vegan range to be superior to their just vegetarian stuff. Although the only local place that stocked it seemed to be Waitrose but now they've stopped it, oddly.

[thugler]

I've always fancied trying seitan but you have to go all the way to Holland and Barrett to get the vital wheat gluten and then physically make the stuff yourself. That's almost as much work as actually physically killing an animal myself. No thank you, if you want me to be ethical then please do all the work for me Mr Tesco

Haha! It's really not that hard. You can buy the gluten online and have it delivered. It's pretty cheap. Takes about 20-30 minutes to make a huge amount, you can make it into steaks and put them in the freezer. I use this recipe modified a bit to my preferences.

https://itdoesnttastelikechicken.com/vegan-seitan-steak/

It's not as complicated as making bread, once it's done it fries nicely and has a meaty flavour, the texture is more chewy.

[pancreas]

My nieces eat one of those engorged Quorn phalli at Christmas instead of goose. You put it in the oven until the acetate surrounding it goes black and then you take it out and de-glove it. It always struck me as the platonic ideal of Michael Pollen's 'edible food-like substance'.

https://processedfoodsite.com/2017/02/16/are-we-eating-real-food-or-edible-foodlike-substances/

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

When exactly do you imagine that the filling in the average sausage roll was 98% prime cuts of pork?

Hardly the threshold whereby a sausage roll becomes good. Just pointing out that average quality has slipped far below acceptable standards, seemingly dragging the public's expectations with it.

I remember some beautiful efforts at a local, totally run of the mill bakery growing up, only cost 35p a roll. That set the benchmark. If I hadn't seen such riches...

[bgmnts]

Sausage rolls have always been utter shite.

[spaghetamine]

Tesco do a great plant-based sausage that feels pretty close to the real thing but an alarming quantity of fat leaks out when you cook them, more so than you would get cooking almost anything else - put a stop to that brief love affair as it all felt a bit sordid. I used to adore the linda mac sausages and ate them nearly every day but one day midway through a sandwich I suddenly realized I didn't want to eat another one ever again. Familiarity breeds contempt I suppose.