The New Ron?

[touchingcloth]

Seems fairly self-explanatory to me.  Surely it's referring to the white froth at the top of a glass of shandy and making a comparison with spunk (i.e. you're shaking your hand to produce your own "froth").  The reason it's shandy and not say, beer or any other frothy drink is because hand rhymes with shand(y).

No one calls the froth on shandy "shandy", though. It's froth.

Have you ever heard a conversation that went:

"What's that white stuff on top of your drink?"

"Shandy."

"Yeah, I know you're drinking shandy, but what's the white stuff on top of the shandy?"

"Shandy."

Well, have you? Have you ever heard that? You haven't. You haven't heard that. Know why you haven't heard it? Because no one calls the froth on shandy "shandy".

[St_Eddie]

No one calls the froth on shandy "shandy", though. It's froth.

Have you ever heard a conversation that went:

"What's that white stuff on top of your drink?"

"Shandy."

"Yeah, I know you're drinking shandy, but what's the white stuff on top of the shandy?"

"Shandy."

Well, have you? Have you ever heard that? You haven't. You haven't heard that. Know why you haven't heard it? Because no one calls the froth on shandy "shandy".

Well, it's not like I invented the phrase.  Besides, I think that it's more that one is producing a liquid.  The white froth is likely a big part of it though.  To be honest, I think you're reading far too much into it.  You'll be questioning the internal logic of "spanking the monkey" and "bashing the bishop" next.  They're all just silly ways of avoiding having to say the blunt and rather dour "masturbating to achieve ejaculation".

[Ptolemy Ptarmigan]

The guy behind Cryer was particular about the position he did it in.

Thought that was The Old Ron on that telly for a minute.

[dissolute ocelot]

Well, it's not like I invented the phrase.  Besides, I think that it's more that one is producing a liquid.  The white froth is likely a big part of it though.  To be honest, I think you're reading far too much into it.  You'll be questioning the internal logic of "spanking the monkey" and "bashing the bishop" next.  They're all just silly ways of avoiding having to say the blunt and rather dour "masturbating to achieve ejaculation".

Wow according to Oxford Dictionaries, pervy sci-fi writer Brian Aldiss was the first person to use the expression "hand shandy". All bets are off as to its origin, it's probably aliens whose cum tastes like sweet Carling.

[Ptolemy Ptarmigan]

Wow according to Oxford Dictionaries, pervy sci-fi writer Brian Aldiss was the first person to use the expression "hand shandy". All bets are off as to its origin, it's probably aliens whose cum tastes like sweet Carling.

It's from the autobiographical novel A Soldier Erect, based on his WW2 service in Burma. Quite possibly a phrase coined by one of his army pals.

[flotemysost]

Reckon we can add 'Doing a Ron, Ron Ron' to the long list of euphemisms for having a palm shandy.

Don't seem to be many for the Laydeez though. Best I ever heard was 'doing the Kit-Kat shuffle' adding this was available with two fingers or four.

Borlotti frotti?

I've never heard "palm shandy" (as opposed to "hand shandy"), sounds like a kitsch Seventies cocktail served in a tiki mug.

Asti spumante is surely the most ejaculatory-sounding drink of all.

I mean, look at it

[Birdie]

If so, why not just let me be sick in my fucking mouth?

Or in someone else's mouth for that matter; good money in that.

[imitationleather]

I'm afraid I simply don't trust someone who can come up with an anagram that good.

Burn him!

[seepage]

All Italian sparkling wines are spumante by the time I've etc...

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

I thought hand shandy was a reference to it being a 'watered down' version of

Spoiler alert

full

[close]

sex

Spoiler alert

with a woman

[close]

, in the same way that shandy is a weaker version of beer.

[Paul Calf]

Yeah, me too. I thought it was a reference to going home alone from the pub/club for a Pot Noodle and a wank rather than doing it on a lady like all the Finchies would be.

[Retinend]

shandy is frothy, and you froth things up by shaking them vigorously

NEXT

[Paul Calf]

Lager is frothy and you don't call it a hand-lager.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Readers of a certain age will observe that you also don't call it a hand- Cresta.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

If you lie on your arm until it goes numb before having a Pot Noodle it feels like someone else is eating it.

[greenman]

Somebody told me that his name was Bill

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

[Tony Tony Tony]

Always though Cresta Bear was one cool dude... turns out he's an onanist?

BTW seems the bear was based on Jack Nicholson's character in Easy Rider at least according to the comments on this old advert... https://youtu.be/thxAqdxGSPU   

Not sure I wanna risk calling Jack a tosser.

BTW(2) loving the change of Avatar Voltan, now Slade are the very definition of cool.

[thenoise]

Willies dont get frothy, fannies get frothy. Willies just shoot silly string.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

BTW(2) loving the change of Avatar Voltan, now Slade are the very definition of cool.

Cheers TTT. I modelled my look on Noddy in the 70s and I've found no reason to change in the intervening forty-plus years.

[St_Eddie]

shandy is frothy, and you froth things up by shaking them vigorously

NEXT

Exactly.  As I mentioned on the previous page.  Much like one's own cock, it ought not to be a difficult concept to grasp.

Lager is frothy and you don't call it a hand-lager.

I already addressed this; lager doesn't rhyme with hand, shand(y) does.

[Marner and Me]

Willies dont get frothy, fannies get frothy. Willies just shoot silly string.

Mine doesn't, I'll get a nurse to look at it

[Cuellar]

What website was this Ron 2.0 story on?

[Dex Sawash]

Cookdandbombd.co.uk

[Retinend]

Lager is frothy and you don't call it a hand-lager.

invalid argument, shandy is lemonade (frothy) mixed with lager (frothy, so doublely frothy) AND it rhymes with "hand", sorta

[idunnosomename]

Cookdandbombd.co.uk

oh whys that then

[drummersaredeaf]

Always though Cresta Bear was one cool dude... turns out he's an onanist?

They're not mutually exclusive. And I should know!

[BlodwynPig]

Lager is frothy and you don't call it a hand-lager.

pathetic

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Mine doesn't, I'll get a nurse to look at it

She'll have to be a really sexy nurse, though.

[Tony Tony Tony]

She'll have to be a really sexy nurse, though.

Is there any other kind?