Author Topic: How would sitcom characters cope with the lockdown? (Read 1230 times)

Fambo Number Mive · « **on:** February 17, 2021, 09:20:51 PM »

Alan Partridge - Would market his own range of masks and stand outside shops trying to sell people then. Wouldn't give Lynn paid time off to get the vaccine, but would make her do all his grocery shopping, including going to get a chocolate bar from the supermarket whenever he wanted one.

"Shall I stock up on Tobler ones for you, Alan?"

"No, just get a week's worth - six or so"

Michael wouldn't believe the virus exists but as he spends most of his leisure time taking part in one-man survival practice in the woods would be a low COVID risk.

Alan would start his own Youtube channel reviewing television programmes during the lockdown and take time to reply at length to any comment, especially the critical ones. Would get a £200 fine for spending six hours doing a loop of his local area by car while listening to Billy Bunter audiobooks.

He orders a pallet of specialist magazines which end up being delivered by mistake to the next door house, where Sonia is now living with her new boyfriend. They end up spending an hour doing "impressions" of famous people before Sonia and her boyfriend give Alan the specialist magazines.

bigfatheart · « **Reply #1 on:** February 17, 2021, 09:31:30 PM »

Seinfeld

Jerry would be hand sanitising, obsessing over hygiene, etc. He'd be dating a woman who constantly flouts social distancing rules, but wouldn't be able to bring himself to break up with her because she's unfeasibly attractive.

George would end up living with his parents again and be miserable. He'd also have an unfeasibly attractive girlfriend who he was planning on breaking up with, but then she gets COVID and he feels he can't break up with her straight away. Then when he thinks enough time has passed, she'd start showing signs of long COVID.

Elaine would be complaining about everybody else failing to practice good hygiene, but then she'd be caught failing to hand sanitise after going to the toilet and would become a pariah.

Kramer wouldn't believe in COVID, but would also be selling masks that he made by cutting up his old shirts. He'd then run out of clothes and have to start borrowing Jerry's.

Dusty Substance · « **Reply #2 on:** February 17, 2021, 11:25:56 PM »

Game On.

After much hilarity at the irony of Matthew not being allowed to leave the flat, he uses the time as a chance to overcome his agoraphobia and wanders the empty streets.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse · « **Reply #3 on:** February 18, 2021, 12:09:55 AM »

The Simpsons

will probably do this in two years anyway.

icehaven · « **Reply #4 on:** February 18, 2021, 12:14:24 AM »

Friends, they'd all be forced to stop dropping round each other's flats unannounced all the time, and would slowly grow apart, Chandler and Monica would never get together, Rachel and Ross would never have Emma or get back together, Joey would go mad due to not being able to sleep around and there being no acting work, and they'd all eventually forget about Phoebe due to not living with or being related to her. Central Perk would go bust and close down.
Doesn't work out well for Friends.

GMTV · « **Reply #5 on:** February 18, 2021, 07:21:51 AM »

Quote from: Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse on February 18, 2021, 12:09:55 AM

The Simpsons

will probably do this in two years anyway.

Season 40 odds it'll be how homer and marge met.

NoSleep · « **Reply #6 on:** February 18, 2021, 08:02:43 AM »

Cheers

Closed.

Chedney Honks · « **Reply #7 on:** February 18, 2021, 08:05:05 AM »

Very good.

gilbertharding · « **Reply #8 on:** February 18, 2021, 09:31:42 AM »

Only Fools and Horses

Del Boy wouldn't fall through a bar because the bar was closed. Trigger would not make a face.

Inspector Norse · « **Reply #9 on:** February 18, 2021, 09:41:24 AM »

Last of the Summer Wine

"A devastating final episode" - Radio Times

Absorb the anus burn · « **Reply #10 on:** February 18, 2021, 09:50:29 AM »

Not Going Out

Yep, there's nowhere to go.

imitationleather · « **Reply #11 on:** February 18, 2021, 10:10:28 AM »

In Porridge they'd have been locked in their cells for 23 hours a day with no visitors for a year and would all be self-harming by now.

GMTV · « **Reply #12 on:** February 18, 2021, 10:44:53 AM »

Quote from: Inspector Norse on February 18, 2021, 09:41:24 AM

Last of the Summer Wine

"A devastating final episode" - Radio Times

Hahaha

frajer · « **Reply #13 on:** February 18, 2021, 10:58:17 AM »

The I.T. Crowd

Roy would manipulate someone into being in his bubble purely so he could sleep with them, then get sick of them, but be unable to break up as he can't shag anyone else. Jen would go mad online shopping and get buried in shoes. Moss would invent a thing that sounds great but is shit.

"Lockdown due to Covid?! I thought you said cock-down in a bovine!"

*wide shot of Matt Berry fucking a cow*

Mr Banlon · « **Reply #14 on:** February 18, 2021, 10:58:42 AM »

OFAH
Del dresses Rodney up in a lab coat and sends him round to care homes with fake vaccines, asking £50 a pop.
After finding a load of old asbestos fire-blankets in his lock up, Del cuts them up and sells them as face mask filters.
Damien burgles the houses of all the old folk on the estate who are in hospital.
Trigger wears a mask on his balls for some reason.

drummersaredeaf · « **Reply #15 on:** February 18, 2021, 11:14:52 AM »

Damien falls through the cracks. Social services pull a face.

Dex Sawash · « **Reply #16 on:** February 18, 2021, 11:30:51 AM »

Bewitched

Samantha struggles to cope with the mask interfering with her nose twitch spells. Dr Bombay drops in a lot.
Third Darrin.

Mr Banlon · « **Reply #17 on:** February 18, 2021, 11:36:12 AM »

Derek decimates Broad Hill with his hugs. Kev has a fucking field day in the aftermath.

Mr Banlon · « **Reply #18 on:** February 18, 2021, 11:41:11 AM »

"This is bloody wonderful Jez ! It's just like Stalingrad !"

icehaven · « **Reply #19 on:** February 18, 2021, 01:09:05 PM »

Only When I Laugh

No one makes it past series 1.

holyzombiejesus · « **Reply #20 on:** February 18, 2021, 01:18:30 PM »

Peep Show

Super Hans (anti-vaxxer and covid denier) opens his own Covid Arms type bar which Jez helps him with. Mark takes to lockdown like a duck to water, spending much of his time snooping on people breaking the rules, but becomes ill and blames Jez.

Harry Badger · « **Reply #21 on:** February 18, 2021, 01:28:57 PM »

Steptoe and Son

Albert gets Covid and Harold finally thinks he's going to be shot of him. But he makes a full recovery, then Harold gets it and gets crippling lung damage that confines himi to bed for the rest of his life.

Brundle-Fly · « **Reply #22 on:** February 18, 2021, 01:46:57 PM »

Hancock's Half Hour

Baba ba ba, ba-baaaa

Hancock: 'Stone me what a life! What date did he say the pubs were open again, Sid"

Sid: Will you put a sock in it? That's the third time you've asked me that in the past hour.

*knock knock

Kenneth Williams: Ello!

Hancock: I've told you before, mush, you are not part of our bubble. Sling your hook!

Kenneth Williams: Stop messing about! I'm lonely, let me come in. I've got me gas mask.

Hancock: I don't care if you're dressed in full Naval standard deep-sea diving gear, you are not coming in.

Hugh: You tell him, Tone.

Pause

Hancock: I'm not speaking to you. I still haven't forgiven you. The last sheet of toilet paper in the house and you 'ad it away.

Hugh. I was desperate.

Sid: For a smoke. I could've lent you...Hang on a minute...Where 'ave my Swan papers gone?

Hancock: I was desperate. You know powdered egg never agrees with me.

Pause

*intake of breath What date did MacMillan say the pubs were open again?

Etc

Petey Pate · « **Reply #23 on:** February 18, 2021, 01:53:08 PM »

Delocated

'Jon' wears a mask over his ski-mask.

holyzombiejesus · « **Reply #24 on:** February 18, 2021, 01:53:40 PM »

Derek

That bloke who was always drunk comes to the home really ill and causes an old person to die. Derek is kind and cries but forgives the drunk who is then allowed to sleep in the dead woman's room. The drunk man asks if they will leave the dead woman in there so he can fuck her. Derek says he doesn't believe in god because sad unfair things happen. The kind woman who runs the home talks to Derek and says that things that are unfair do happen but you have to do your best and help people because carers. Derek cries again to show how kind he is and gives his pocket money to the drunk man who killed the woman so he can buy some beer. The drunk man buys Derek a puppy with the beer money instead. Derek calls the puppy 'the NHS' and says thank you to the drunk man. Then he looks in to the camera and says thank you whilst some sad piano music plays.

Fambo Number Mive · « **Reply #25 on:** February 18, 2021, 01:57:17 PM »

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Dennis forges an exemption certificate for mask wearing because he doesn't like how masks look, but enthusiastically obeys the 2 metre rule unless he is attracted to someone.

The gang open Paddy's Pub during lockdown and it becomes superspreader central. It is shut down by the local health department after Dee dates an undercover health inspector and takes him to the bar.

Charlie and Frank become hospitalised with COVID but recover, although they are each handed a five figure bill, which Frank is able to pay off by doing favours for the Mob.

Mac and Dee try to work out a COVID-secure version of Chardee McDennis but get distracted when the Waitress starts an anti-lockdown group and they demonstrate outside the bar.

thenoise · « **Reply #26 on:** February 18, 2021, 02:08:12 PM »

Quote from: holyzombiejesus on February 18, 2021, 01:53:40 PM

Derek

Robot grief Sir Captain Tom

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth · « **Reply #27 on:** February 18, 2021, 02:11:53 PM »

Quote from: icehaven on February 18, 2021, 12:14:24 AM

Friends... they'd all eventually forget about Phoebe due to not living with or being related to her

Phoebe wouldn't believe the virus exists. One of the other ones, probably Ross, would be shamed for not accepting her free spirited whimsy.

MojoJojo · « **Reply #28 on:** February 18, 2021, 02:26:50 PM »

The Good Life

Tom tries to guard his land by staying up all the time and shooting his air rifle at anyone who gets to close to his leeks. Barbara brings him a cup of tea.

Norton Canes · « **Reply #29 on:** February 18, 2021, 02:58:40 PM »

Jerry: "Now Margo, we need to wear these masks whenever we go out and make sure we're socially distances at all times"
Margo: "Don't be silly, Jerry"

News:

Author Topic: How would sitcom characters cope with the lockdown? (Read 1230 times)