Author Topic: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT  (Read 1373 times)

madhair60

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MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« on: February 18, 2021, 06:09:42 PM »
Trailer: https://youtu.be/jBa_aHwCbC4

Looks gloriously daft. Really looking forward to this silliness.

Kelvin

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2021, 06:13:44 PM »
Looks like a film that's too po-faced to be entertaining, but you'll love watching the fights on youtube. 

Chedney Honks

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2021, 06:17:05 PM »
Why would anyone watch this when there are hundreds of actually great daft martial arts films

Gamers should all be dead

madhair60

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2021, 06:25:02 PM »
Well if it isn't the NINTENDO TWINS Marioing up my brilliant thread.

Chedney Honks

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #4 on: February 18, 2021, 06:26:48 PM »
You started a martial arts thread, watch some of those recs instead

madhair60

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #5 on: February 18, 2021, 06:29:34 PM »
Watch this (gestures to cock and balls)

bgmnts

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2021, 06:30:37 PM »
Fair play that looks fucking gash.

Just watch the original one with the actual characters from the game, with the immense soundtrack.

Chedney Honks

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #7 on: February 18, 2021, 06:31:49 PM »
Love that Burial track that samples the original MK film synths

Kelvin

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #8 on: February 18, 2021, 06:34:07 PM »
When a Mortal Kombat trailer ends with them fucking up "Get over here", it's time to pack up your things.

madhair60

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2021, 06:34:51 PM »
When a Mortal Kombat trailer ends with them fucking up "Get over here", it's time to pack up your things.

Racist. Leave CaB.

PlanktonSideburns

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2021, 06:41:48 PM »
When a Mortal Kombat trailer ends with them fucking up "Get over here", it's time to pack up your things.

i played it in welsh, so im aways dissapointed when he dosent say it in welsh anyway

bgmnts

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2021, 06:45:44 PM »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dz0YU0jJr4&ab_channel=FlashbackFM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJOJTsmJLLA&ab_channel=FlashbackFM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFRmNVzYe20&ab_channel=FlashbackFM

Goro used to scare the shit out of me as a kid, which is hilarious in hindsight considering he's just a naff animatronic puppet costume thing with a gormless face and gets jobbed right quick.

Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #12 on: February 18, 2021, 07:00:07 PM »
at least it looks like peopole are going to get shitted up bad style in daft ways which is all you need, any idea what the rating is? the trailers dogshit but I hope they've had to just make it that way with the Inception and Marvel pacing since every other trailer for the past ten years has done it.

Kano looks a bit wank, too 'office shagger'

Consignia

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #13 on: February 18, 2021, 07:00:39 PM »
Google wants me to verify my age by asking for my passport or credit card to see that trailer. Some how I'm not sure it'll be worth it.

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #14 on: February 18, 2021, 07:03:07 PM »
When a Mortal Kombat trailer ends with them fucking up "Get over here", it's time to pack up your things.
Racist. Leave CaB.
Go over there!

Lungpuddle

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #15 on: February 18, 2021, 08:05:48 PM »
To be honest, not sure if madhair's being sarcastic but I liked that trailer and want to see the film at some point. This will probably be my only contribution to this thread, I'm glad it's controversial as I am the Hitchens of film trailer reactions (either of the cunts).

madhair60

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #16 on: February 18, 2021, 08:27:36 PM »
To be honest, not sure if madhair's being sarcastic but I liked that trailer and want to see the film at some point. This will probably be my only contribution to this thread, I'm glad it's controversial as I am the Hitchens of film trailer reactions (either of the cunts).

I'm not. I'm under no illusion that this will be some sort of masterpiece, but I'm a big MK fan and I think this looks fun as hell.

St_Eddie

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #17 on: February 18, 2021, 08:49:00 PM »
It looks dreadful but at least it is actually R rated and contains blood, gore and fatalities; you know, the one thing the games are known for and the one thing the first two cinematic adaptations completely left out.  All the gore in the world won't stop the movie from being a stinker though, of course.

madhair60

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #18 on: February 18, 2021, 08:55:58 PM »
All the gore in the world won't stop the movie from being a stinker though, of course.

This is actually untrue. The more gore, the better the film. That is why the best film ever made is Guinea Pig 2.

Consignia

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #19 on: February 18, 2021, 08:56:38 PM »
Google wants me to verify my age by asking for my passport or credit card to see that trailer. Some how I'm not sure it'll be worth it.

Google decided to show me now. My fake ID seemed to fool it so I could watch it and buy ciggies from offy.

I don't know, the trailer looks so clichéd. Why bother with a narative? Everyone's only in it to see ninjas beat seven bells out of each other. Just make it none stop fights, like the arcade game.

madhair60

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #20 on: February 18, 2021, 08:57:51 PM »
Now someone's going to be like Actually I Think You'll Find That Flower of Flesh and Blood Is Far From The Goriest Film Of All Time I fucking know that, it's a joke, cunt

St_Eddie

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #21 on: February 18, 2021, 09:02:42 PM »
I don't know, the trailer looks so clichéd. Why bother with a narative? Everyone's only in it to see ninjas beat seven bells out of each other. Just make it none stop fights, like the arcade game.

This is the thing.  I just don't see the point in movie adaptations of action based videogames.  I don't understand why some people watch them.  Vat is point?  No, seriously; what is the fucking point?  You play Sonic the Hedgehog or Mortal Kombat for the gameplay.  Who the fuck is playing those games for the story?!  The demographic of people who go to watch things like this baffles me.  One long, terribly written cutscene with occasional mediocre actions scenes peppered throughout and piss poor, low budget effects, with none of the gameplay which makes those games engaging.  I just do not understand the appeal at all.

Now someone's going to be like Actually I Think You'll Find That Flower of Flesh and Blood Is Far From The Goriest Film Of All Time I fucking know that, it's a joke, cunt



Madhair60, getting angry at people who don't exist, there.

Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #22 on: February 18, 2021, 09:07:05 PM »
Slightly worried that the entire film seems to take place in near-darkness and just consists of everybody introducing themselves to each other. Also they seem to have cast people based on martial arts ability, which could be good or bad (in fairness, the first film's cast largely avoided making picks from the ham counter, except Christopher Lambert). Certainly nothing in the trailer to make it look good, but you could say the same of Bicycle Thieves or White Material.

madhair60

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #23 on: February 18, 2021, 09:18:24 PM »
Madhair60, getting angry at people who don't exist, there.

It's the smart play. People who exist can dismantle my arguments with ease, and also hit me.

Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #24 on: February 18, 2021, 10:56:33 PM »
gore does make films better im with yer man, as long as theres enough spooky fantasy fucking about to get to the horrifying violence the better it'll be

Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #25 on: February 18, 2021, 11:00:37 PM »
a Mortal Kombat film doesn't really need much else, i've played most of the games and could not tell you what it's about beyond island tournament with nutters. But from what i've retained through the power of memory is most of it's fucking split these people open in insane complicated ways because island tournament, just have everyone smoking and swearing and talking exposition and telling each other to fuck off and Scooter soundtrack and Johnny Cage saying THIS IS SOME REEEEAL FUCKIN X FILES BULL MOTHER FUCKING SHIT MAN

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #26 on: February 18, 2021, 11:04:51 PM »
Gore makes all films better. This is why the best film of all time is An Inconvenient Truth.

Kelvin

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #27 on: February 18, 2021, 11:04:55 PM »
Worst part of all the MK films and tv shows is the boring tournament stuff. Just have the goodies trying to hunt down a team of killer ninjas or something. Then in the final scene, Raiden appears and says, "Ah now you must save Outworld from an army ahhhh".

Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #28 on: February 18, 2021, 11:53:32 PM »
people want MOTORO

St_Eddie

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Re: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT
« Reply #29 on: February 19, 2021, 12:04:32 AM »
gore does make films better im with yer man, as long as theres enough spooky fantasy fucking about to get to the horrifying violence the better it'll be

Why not just watch a good film with tons of gore though?  Such as Peter Jackson's Braindead.  That way you get amazing practical gore effects by the bucket load and a tight, entertaining script with engaging characters and dialogue.  Really can't see what's to be gained by watching a shitty adaptation of a fighting game with crap CG blood that's been added in post-production.

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