Author Topic: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking  (Read 4340 times)

George Oscar Bluth II

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Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« on: February 22, 2021, 08:29:46 AM »
Due to be announced at 3:30pm apparently, but obviously they've been briefing the hacks which is a great way of running things.

Graun says:

Quote
8 March

All schools – primary and secondary – will open from 8 March, despite opposition from the main teaching unions who have called for a staggered reopening. Schools will be allowed to restart outdoor sports matches as well as other outdoor activities.

Care home visits indoors will resume, including allowing residents to hold hands with visitors.

Rules will on socialising in a public space will be relaxed, meaning one person can sit down with another individual from outside their household or bubble for a coffee, drink or picnic.

29 March


The second part of the first phase of reopening will begin as schools break up for Easter holidays. Outdoor gatherings will be permitted for either up to six people – reinstating the rule of six – or two households. The new rule is designed to give greater flexibility for families to meet outside, where the risk of transmission is significantly lower.

Outdoor sports facilities such as tennis or basketball courts and golf course will reopen. Organised adult and children’s sport, such as grassroots football, can also return.

The government has said it hopes to vaccinate all adults over the age of 50 by 15 April.

Second phase – late April

The second phase will allow the reopening of some hospitality in limited circumstances, which could include serving outdoors only.

Non-essential retail is expected to reopen in April. Universities and colleges could get the green light to reopen campuses.

Third phase – middle of May

By mid-May, pubs and restaurants are likely to be allowed to open indoors, though there could still be limits on groups, and social distancing will be in place.

This phase is also most likely to be the time that hairdressers and beauticians reopen, though there may be further restrictions on very close contact treatments that were also slower to resume after the first lockdown.

The phase may also see families allowed to travel for short breaks around the UK, though with restrictions on household mixing.

Fourth phase

A further relaxation of social contact, likely to include some mixing indoors.

The health secretary, Matt Hancock, has said he is optimistic about summer holidays being permitted in the UK, so June could see restrictions lifted on the tourism sector.

Foreign holidays are likely to be highly dependent on the actions of other governments and the progress of international vaccination – as well as a desire by ministers to strictly limit the ability of new variants to enter the country.

The problem last year was that they went too quickly, now it feels like they're going too slowly on some things. Meeting people outdoors is no risk at all, and people are doing it anyway, but we're not allowed to do it until March 29th? Why risk a copper tapping you on your shoulder when you could do something far more dangerous, but much less likely to get you caught, and invite your pal round your house?

What is remarkable in this apparent plan is that Pro-Virus Rishi Sunak appears to have been thwarted somewhat. If we left it to him there'd be compulsory nightclub visits from tonight or something.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2021, 08:30:38 AM »
Good luck to you all. I'm done.

Non Stop Dancer

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Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2021, 08:54:38 AM »
Good luck to you all. I'm done.
They not doing as they've been advised?

Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2021, 09:32:50 AM »
March 8th for all schools seems far too early unless they've been preparing for a few weeks already getting teachers prepared.

If they fuck up step one I see no reason to even pay attention to the rest cos it won't happen.

Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2021, 09:33:23 AM »
The caution on everything else is meaningless when they are forcing all schools back at the same time

Good opportunity for Starmer to show Murdoch etc that he doesn't take orders from stupid trade unions no Sir no way, but from them via Boris Johnson.

Roll on 200,000 dead.

MojoJojo

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Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #5 on: February 22, 2021, 09:47:26 AM »
The schools will be back for 2 weeks before Easter holidays, with schools reopening on the 12th of April*. It does seem like keeping the schools closed another 2 weeks would gets a lot more lockdown time. This probably explains why a phased return is being ruled out.

Have Scotland or Wales announced anything yet?

*Cambridgeshire, I don't know how much it varies.

Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #6 on: February 22, 2021, 10:06:30 AM »
Scottish Schools are going back today, years 1-3 only - the situation will be closely monitored and, all being well, a full return will be phased. Shit for cunts, but better than the English gambit.

Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #7 on: February 22, 2021, 10:11:00 AM »
third time lucky eh lads? let's see if we don't end up killing 100k oldies again! still, gotta think of THE ECONOMY

bgmnts

  • Depressed to the point of poisonous toxicity.
Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #8 on: February 22, 2021, 10:34:00 AM »
Slim Pickens riding the nuke down to hell.

shiftwork2

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Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #9 on: February 22, 2021, 10:57:22 AM »
Three months for the barbers?  My hair's already in my eyes.  I'll be Cousin Itt by May.  Loads of serviceable emergency haircuts walking around but I just know mine would end up as a bowlhead.

Butchers Blind

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Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #10 on: February 22, 2021, 11:02:22 AM »
Three months for the barbers?  My hair's already in my eyes.  I'll be Cousin Itt by May.  Loads of serviceable emergency haircuts walking around but I just know mine would end up as a bowlhead.

Open air street haircuts are the answer. Meets the criteria of meeting one other person.

Cuellar

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Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #11 on: February 22, 2021, 11:05:06 AM »
Drive thru haircuts

Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #12 on: February 22, 2021, 11:06:04 AM »
You got his name wrong in the thread title, he's called Boris Johnson, I think your brain might have conjured up a 'spoonerism' there!

Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #13 on: February 22, 2021, 11:18:41 AM »
Three months for the barbers?  My hair's already in my eyes.  I'll be Cousin Itt by May.  Loads of serviceable emergency haircuts walking around but I just know mine would end up as a bowlhead.

Outdoor barbers should be a thing.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #14 on: February 22, 2021, 11:59:23 AM »
Now the whole fucking thing has been leaked do we really need Turds cuntface to spew it all out again this afternoon in his cuntcast

Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #15 on: February 22, 2021, 12:50:41 PM »
Now the whole fucking thing has been leaked do we really need Turds cuntface to spew it all out again this afternoon in his cuntcast
nice try at a skive, boris

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #16 on: February 22, 2021, 01:10:33 PM »
On other forums people have been saying "If the schools go back all at once on 8th March with 30 people in a classroom I am going to meet people outside/meet people inside etc." I don't know how many people feel like this in England but it does seem like schools reopening could see a lessening of compliance with lockdown rules in the wider population.
« Last Edit: February 22, 2021, 02:02:13 PM by Fambo Number Mive »

Norton Canes

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Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #17 on: February 22, 2021, 01:15:52 PM »
I think any residual desire to comply with the guidelines on meeting people outside vanished with the news the other day that not a single case of COVID transmission could be traced to ten thousand people jammed solid on a beach.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #18 on: February 22, 2021, 01:20:09 PM »
Now the whole fucking thing has been leaked do we really need Turds cuntface to spew it all out again this afternoon in his cuntcast

hate that, treat us all like babies. HATE IT

H A T E I T

what is he going to say?

BritishHobo

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Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #19 on: February 22, 2021, 01:47:58 PM »
As much as I hate him, I think it's a good call to take it very slpw and very cautious. Get the best chance possible of this being our last lockdown.

Interesting to see they're trying to keep vague about summer holidays though, keep people's hopes up that we'll all be off to the seaside.

Chollis

  • Master of Codes
Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #20 on: February 22, 2021, 01:50:36 PM »
I think any residual desire to comply with the guidelines on meeting people outside vanished with the news the other day that not a single case of COVID transmission could be traced to ten thousand people jammed solid on a beach.

yep

OPEN THE PUBS

Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #21 on: February 22, 2021, 01:53:17 PM »
I think any residual desire to comply with the guidelines on meeting people outside vanished with the news the other day that not a single case of COVID transmission could be traced to ten thousand people jammed solid on a beach.

All the stories I read said no single "outbreak" has been linked to beaches, rather than no transmission at all.

Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #22 on: February 22, 2021, 01:56:49 PM »
Now the whole fucking thing has been leaked do we really need Turds cuntface to spew it all out again this afternoon in his cuntcast
I had assumed the point of leaking everything so far in advance is so that they can get a feel of how the media "questioning" will be and prepare appropriately.

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #23 on: February 22, 2021, 02:11:45 PM »
Is anyone going to ask Joris why he isn't taking into account that the fall in cases have stagnated? Can't see cases getting much lower than 8,000 per day by 8th March. It's far to early to open schools fully.

Meanwhile our Vaccines Minister doesn't seem to know when the 8th March actually is: https://twitter.com/jonlis1/status/1363776578535247874

The same people who bring up Diane Abbott getting her numbers wrong once on a radio show every time she is mentioned don't seem to bothered about the Vaccines Minister not knowing when months occur.

Theremin

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Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #24 on: February 22, 2021, 02:52:24 PM »
O P E N T H E P U B S

Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #25 on: February 22, 2021, 03:20:36 PM »
Are the general public at large going to pay any attention though? On the weekend I had to deliver a few party packs to various friends of my son's for his online birthday party next Saturday and I was shocked (and a bit stunned) to see just how many people were milling about around Highbury and Islington tube at 1pm. Same goes for London Fields. The first nice Saturday of the year and it was like popular music festival Glastonbury out there. The bins were overflowing with cans and bottles of alcohol and there was no social distancing and very few masks. I really feel like we're going to be in and out of lockdowns for years to come vaccine or not.

Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #26 on: February 22, 2021, 03:31:53 PM »


The same people who bring up Diane Abbott getting her numbers wrong once on a radio show every time she is mentioned don't seem to bothered about the Vaccines Minister not knowing when months occur.

My automatic response to this being bought up is that Priti Patel can't even read out a normal number from an auto-cue without ballsing it up.

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #27 on: February 22, 2021, 03:45:27 PM »
I find it astonishing that the BBC are describing Johnson's approach as "cautious". I'd call it totally reckless.

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #28 on: February 22, 2021, 04:02:33 PM »
The Rail, Maritime and Transport union has issued a new warning over bus driver safety once schools reopen on 8th March:

Quote
RMT General Secretary Mick Cash said;

“RMT members who have direct experience of the way the return to school was previously so poorly managed by the bus employers as lockdowns were relaxed now have even greater levels of concern.

“High infection rates, new variants of Covid-19, combined with a mass return to school and poor enforcement of face mask wearing and social distancing, could represent a cocktail of dangers and greater risks for our drivers.

“The latest Office of National Statistics data on the workforce – broken down by occupation – has already shown the greater burden and higher exposure to risk being experienced by bus drivers and our officials have received too many reports of poor crowding and social distancing and a complete lack of any enforcement of Covid rules.”

“We have written to Grant Shapps, Secretary of State for Transport, demanding his Department step in to lead and coordinate a safe method of working for bus workers with the introduction of more robust enforcement, including by the Police of mask wearing and social distancing rules on board buses.”

https://www.rmt.org.uk/news/rmt-issues-new-warning-of-a-cocktail-of-dangers-for-bus-driver/

The RMT are also calling for the suspension of on-train ticketing duties, with seven Train Operating Companies (CrossCountry; LNER; Northern; GWR; SWR; Avanti West Coast; C2C) still requiring this to happen according to the RMT, unlike in the first lockdown.

https://www.rmt.org.uk/news/rmt-demands-suspension-of-on-train-ticketing-duties/

The media are ignoring both of these stories.

chveik

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Re: Joris Bohnson's Great Unlocking
« Reply #29 on: February 22, 2021, 05:17:24 PM »




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