I Would Rather Not Go, Back to the Office

[Sebastian Cobb]

The journos calling for it proper sticks in my craw because a lot of these columnists have probably been submitting their ill-informed opinions from home since times when floppy disks and cycle couriers were the most reliable way to do so.

Here's an article from 2008 where some prick celebrates using their clout to allow them to still use an Amstrad PCW to write books and journo articles, creating much work for everyone else around them: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2008/jul/19/computing

[The Culture Bunker]

Had my first day back yesterday and was just about able to cope with the humid office and shite office chair, though the ride back home on an over-crowded tram was a bit much. I've had my shots, so not worried on this aspect, just not used to being crowded together like that after 14 months of as much personal space as I could wish for.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Good thing from chapo about ceos forcing people back to the office I listened to last night:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHZXfH7VHNs

[Norton Canes]

We're being leant on gently...

"We are expecting a proportion of staff in student-facing and some other roles to return to working wholly or partially on campus if and when the government removes all social distancing measures... It is the expectation that all staff will be located and working on campus for some of their time... Staff will not be exclusively based at home as their contractual base, now or in the future"

All about maintaining the 'vibrant campus experience'.

[bgmnts]

I read that guardian story about office spaces yesterday and was almost physically sick.

Awful cunts.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Some of this is quite relatable but also precisely why working from home is great - https://novaramedia.com/2021/06/03/welcome-to-slacker-school-learning-from-the-best-how-to-work-the-least/

office work is largely about presnteeism and playing dress-up a lot of the time.

[bgmnts]

https://amp.ft.com/content/118f5258-c9d0-41cc-a8dd-ec27fd8724b4

I'm very excited for this titanic showdown between slaves and slave drivers where the bosses just say come into the office or else in approved, soft language and everyone meekly complies. Maybe they'll get to bring their toys in at the end of term.

[mothman]

[Fambo Number Mive]

"I expect we will see three or four days a week in the office as the UK recovers," Paul Swinney, director of policy and research at Centre for Cities, told Radio 5 Live's Wake Up to Money programme.

"Over the longer term, I'm quite hopeful that we will see people return five days a week.

"The reason for that is, one of the benefits of being in the office is having interactions with other people, coming up with new ideas and sharing information."

He said people could not do this by scheduling a three o'clock meeting on a Tuesday - it had to happen randomly.

Think tank wonky looking forward to people being in the office full time. Don't most people.working from home have access to a messaging program where they can share ideas with others in the office?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-57339105

[seepage]

Last time I worked the cost model was 20% onshore / 80% offshore. So most of the time I was on the 'phone to someone overseas anyway. But then we were told we all must gather around the same whiteboard to brainstorm, even though the whiteboard could be controlled remotely from e.g. home. So the conclusion was probably everyone working abroad on a 'campus'.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Yeah in the Chapo thing I posted there's talk of bosses pressuring people back, and then it veers onto the discussion of the cogs turning in managers heads to think 'if someone can do this job from a home in America someone can do it cheaper overseas' but as they point out bosses like that are going to want to do that regardless so in terms of long-term job security it probably makes little difference.

There was an article on bloomberg last week that said people in America are quitting rather than going back to offices.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2021-06-01/return-to-office-employees-are-quitting-instead-of-giving-up-work-from-home

A six-minute meeting drove Portia Twidt to quit her job.

She'd taken the position as a research compliance specialist in February, enticed by promises of remote work. Then came the prodding to go into the office. Meeting invites piled up.

The final straw came a few weeks ago: the request for an in-person gathering, scheduled for all of 360 seconds. Twidt got dressed, dropped her two kids at daycare, drove to the office, had the brief chat and decided she was done.

Good on her.

JPMorgan Chase & Co.'s Jamie Dimon said at a recent conference that it doesn't work "for those who want to hustle."

No wonder the banking crash happened.

[Pinball]

I'd have thought the predatory sharks in the merchant banks would love being able to snort coke, fuck hookers and make money at the same time at home, also bearing in mind their homes are as large as hotels. A beehive-structured open plan space and cubicle (that open plan model was invented by JP Morgan so that managers could see the bees kicking off in times of crisis) not quite as much fun.

As for us plebs, we have tasted freedom, but it's about to be taken away. For the corporations, I mean economy, of course. Think of England = prostitute yourself and die for the elite.

[Uncle TechTip]

Apparently work is entirely dependent on those chance encounters, chats over the water cooler and so on, which certainly casts all the petty project management, pointless meetings and timesheets in a new light.

[The Culture Bunker]

I thought the main point of talking by the water cooler/coffee machine/kettle were just so an otherwise pointless line manager could appear and say "come on, back to work", thus justifying their role.

[Icehaven]

I hope all those rich twats who've completely fucked the housing markets in Cornwall and Wales are unexpectedly made to go back to their offices four days a week and spend their lives on motorways.

Everyone else should be able to work from home if they want though.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I used to take off my headphones and prick my ears for the sound of clinking about in the kitchen before deciding whether I'd get up to make a brew.

[ASFTSN]

I've been 'managed' by a lot of what I think are very lonely people who honestly seem to depend on having their employees around them to feel ok. I don't think that's justification for everyone just going back into the office just 'coz. But I do think it might be what drives a lot of the "a company is the small moments you have between work, that's where the ideas and chemistry is" blather I've heard from my own manager and others.

EDIT: Obviously just some of it, I know about the heavy pressure from the landlord wankos.

[Sebastian Cobb]

That's just as bad, colleagues aren't jesters for ones entertainment.

[ASFTSN]

Oh yeah I'm right with you. It's pretty pathetic. But I've seen it happen quite a lot, especially with smaller businesses. Especially with "cool" businesses.

[Uncle TechTip]

But I've seen these relationships in action, and all it amounts to is banter-ish ribbing when your team loses, and comparing notes on whatever Netflix time-waster you've got going on. It's absolutely inconsequential.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Yeh in an old job they did "friday cakes" where a project would by cakes and people would natter for about 20 minutes, it happened right behind my desk and I used to just openly browse the internet pretending they weren't behind me, then graze on the leftovers all day. The awkward conversation was what really put me off, with it either being dominated by some charmless high-up manager with nothing interesting to say, but people feeling obliged to entertain their ear-piss, or people trying to find something to say, but not wanting to say anything that would start a conversation niche enough to alienate at least some people, which only really left trite platitudes.

Of course that's not to say I haven't worked places where I genuinely had people I enjoyed chatting to and spent lunch with and that, but it's only good if it grows organically, if you try and force it it just becomes awful.

[flotemysost]

Many were the mornings where I'd struggle to find space for my lunchbox in the fridges at work because they were invariably rammed with booze.

Being a boring vacuous twat, I actually quite liked the frequent excuses to awkwardly shuffle around a desk and nurse a plastic flute of flat prosecco and a squashed fairy cake while someone senior waxed lyrical about a project I had negligible involvement in, trying not to gulp it too flagrantly because I was never really meant to be at any of these gatherings anyway... but I can imagine that sort of office culture must be incredibly alienating to anyone who doesn't drink.

Same with workplaces which are heavily reliant on a culture of everyone going to the pub - I'm down for that, I miss it, but lots of people don't necessarily feel at home or even safe in that environment, even if they aren't teetotal. I raised this with the inclusivity committee at my workplace (as in, we need to make sure no one feels ostracised or left out just because they don't want to take part in social stuff based around boozing).

[Sebastian Cobb]

Same with workplaces which are heavily reliant on a culture of everyone going to the pub - I'm down for that, I miss it, but lots of people don't necessarily feel at home or even safe in that environment, even if they aren't teetotal. I raised this with the inclusivity committee at my workplace (as in, we need to make sure no one feels ostracised or left out just because they don't want to take part in social stuff based around boozing).

And there's the big challenge isn't it, making sure everyone's included without it feeling like forced fun/social stuff; by the time a committee is involved, no matter how well meaning I reckon the moment has passed.

[Fambo Number Mive]

The right's attack on people on furlough continues:

Speaking to BBC Radio 4's Any Questions, Dame Andrea said: "For some people they're just terrified, so it's like, 'I've been on furlough for so long I really can't quite face going back to the office' and employers are rightly saying, 'well, you need to'.

"So there's that issue, the mental health issue, the fear of it.

"For other people, it's like, 'well actually being on furlough in lockdown has been great for me - I've got a garden, I've been able to go out walking every day, I've got great vegetables growing, I don't really want to go back to work, maybe I'll think about part-time or I'm going to retire early'."

She said some businesses in her constituency "simply can't get people to come back to work", saying: "They can't get staff because people have, to be perfectly frank, become used to being on furlough"...

Dame Andrea said on Thursday it was "disappointing that some staff on furlough have taken on second jobs and then resigned when invited back to work".

She said she asked Steve Barclay, chief secretary to the Treasury, in the House of Commons what could be done to protect the taxpayer from "furlough gaming" and how businesses could be protected.

Replying, Mr Barclay said it was a "very important and legitimate point", saying: "In terms of the design of the furlough scheme it was designed to operate within the employment law framework, so an employee is able to have a second job whilst on the furlough, providing this is allowed within the terms of their existing employment contract.

It's another way to distract people from the corruption of those in power and the obscene wealth of the super-rich, attack people earning 80% of what they were pre-pandemic, many of whom may not have jobs to go back to.

I'm wondering where Leadsom got this information from that some people didn't want to come off furlough because they were enjoying gardening. Did she just make it up?

It's another example of the elites pitting ordinary people against each other aided by a mostly morally bankrupt media owned mainly by the wealthy. It's alright for people like Leadsom, who never has to worry about being put on furlough and only earning 80% of her salary.

[bgmnts]

Maybe offer them fucking incentives like a decent fucking wage and better fucking conditions to get them back in YOU CUNTS.

[DrGreggles]

The CEO sent out an email yesterday regarding what will happen post-pandemic.
We won't be returning to the office unless there's work that can't be done remotely.
So about 5-10% of staff (categorised as GREEN) will be onsite most days, with maybe another 5-10% (YELLOW) going in once a week.
Anyone else (RED) will need prior approval from management.
#NewNormal

I suspect we won't be moving to bigger premises after all then!

[SpiderChrist]

My lot have started talking about "hybrid working". Sounds amazing. Really stoked.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Guy I work with is leaving to go to a company that I think are remote, to the point that they send you 'snack parcels' as a twee perk.

[MrMrs]

sounds like my work

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Dame Andrea said on Thursday it was "disappointing that some staff on furlough have taken on second jobs and then resigned when invited back to work".

HAHAHAHA - FUCK YOU

We're not 'all in it together', these cunts are the cunts you created. The shat on will shit on and it's high time for a high altitude shit fest.