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Cunts And Shitheads Of YouTube

Started by Dr Rock, March 24, 2021, 09:33:28 AM

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Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Anyone who makes a cunty little face in the video thumbnail.



Why? Has some sort of analyst figured out that it'll get you more views if you gurn?

Video Game Fan 2000

Its impossible to watch Sargon long enough to laugh at him. People smugly being wrong is usually good for a laugh, not that time. [misreads a statistic because he doesn't know how %s work] [splutters in confusion] [crowing laughting] ["this is like ..." fallacious analogy]   

Couldn't even take videos of people laughing at him, and I used to watch Glenn Beck for schadenfreunde.

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on March 24, 2021, 02:41:02 PM
Anyone who makes a cunty little face in the video thumbnail.



Why? Has some sort of analyst figured out that it'll get you more views if you gurn?

Its because the algo picks out "shocked white man" or "pretty white lady" and nothing else, and then people started doing it ironically.

Quote from: An tSaoi on March 24, 2021, 02:40:20 PM
Someone who takes a sip from a mug within 10 seconds of the start of the video. Take your fucking sip before you start filming you pricks.

It's the colour graded coffee making intros that do me.

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on March 24, 2021, 02:43:49 PM
Its because the algo picks out "shocked white man" or "pretty white lady" and nothing else, and then people started doing it ironically.

Stupid faces and red arrows get hits

e-beggars and shameless shills.

The retro video game creators are particularly egregious.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on March 24, 2021, 02:28:22 PM
Tutorials for Photoshop and the like which drag on and on, when all I want to know is which menu a certain option is under.

I like a lot of those video essay types... but... that halting cadence... a lot of them use... is really annoying. They sound like Captain Kirk being patronising.

Almost as if text and screenshots is a more efficient way to do this sometimes.

Poobum

My main problem with the Nostalgia Critic, beyond him being as funny as the My Lai massacre, is him being an abusive misogynistic creep who intimidated Lindsay Ellis into doing sexual abuse "humour" after she complained about him writing that her character gets raped off screen.

Video Game Fan 2000

Quote from: Poobum on March 24, 2021, 03:29:31 PM
My main problem with the Nostalgia Critic, beyond him being as funny as the My Lai massacre, is him being an abusive misogynistic creep who intimidated Lindsay Ellis into doing sexual abuse "humour" after she complained about him writing that her character gets raped off screen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ-Sy11mvZU

kryton2.0

Just the whole fake appeal of overtly-grinning people with videos full of pointless memes and long-winded bullshit really annoys me. I'd much rather watch a poorer quality video of the same tutorial/review etc, if the person on the 'lesser' video spends much less time pratting about and gets to the point I don't care if the sound is slightly off or they're using less fancy graphics.

Also someone pointed it out on here a year or so ago, but there's a certain type of 'cheery' American accent which ruffles my feathers, like every word that escapes from their mouth is done with an intent to impress, rather than communicate.

Oh and anyone who starts a video with WHAT IS UP YOUTUUUUUBE? - No.

kryton2.0

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on March 24, 2021, 02:41:02 PM
Anyone who makes a cunty little face in the video thumbnail.



Why? Has some sort of analyst figured out that it'll get you more views if you gurn?

Yep, never watching any of those.

Video Game Fan 2000

Deliberately poorly edited cuts was funny about five times when RLM did it and never after.

Those supercut people, thinking making the screen shake every 10 seconds while the audio distorts like fuck is a substitute for genuine humour. They often replay particular sentences but then pitch it up or down more and more, I'm not sure what it's supposed to convey but it always seems like quite a superficial attempt at trying to be creative and rarely makes the (usually funny already) thing they're lampooning any funnier.

GMTV

The seemless cutting to an advertisement speech during an important segment. Which is really important and why I use CUNTSPACE for my video editing needs.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

Quote from: GMTV on March 24, 2021, 04:48:00 PM
The seemless cutting to an advertisement speech during an important segment. Which is really important and why I use CUNTSPACE for my video editing needs.
This isn't quite so bad now that YouTube gives uploaders the facility to put chapters(?) in their videos. Easy to skip the paid sponsorship ad without missing any of the actual video.

What I object to are ads that suddenly roll in the middle of fucking sentences, but I don't think content creators have any control over that.

Magnum Valentino

This isn't as bad as all your points, but I'm really sick of people putting HD in the title of videos ripped from VHS tapes from the 90s.

I also hate people using the word "remastered" in the same context. Has to be mastered for you to remaster it, ya cunt ye.

Lastly, people uploading albums and putting 4K UHD in the title. It's music only. Properly annoys me despite knowing it's just designed to appeal to thick people.

The Bumlord

Austraaaaalians talking about fucking gaaaames mate

Dex Sawash


Most tech reviewers can fuck off on there. All of them review their shit from the perspective of needing to do a lot of video production because it's all they know, which is absolutely useless to anyone with a workflow that doesn't involve recording and uploading videos to YouTube for a living.

But the nadir is Linus fucking Tech Tips. AIDS-tier prick presents lazy, badly researched, poor methodologied, wilfully destructive tech reviews. There's a guy on his channel called Anthony who seems a great bunch of lads but the rest of them can jump into a fucking mincer. "I bought a $10,000 computer, wilfully destroyed every major component in it for clicks and now Apple won't fix it, so now I'm getting more clicks talking about how evil they are". Mincer.


Fr.Bigley


thenoise

ASHENS

Sorry to lump him in with the alt-right and genuinely horrible people nominated so far (who I definitely won't look up as it might upset MaH AlGoRiThM), but youtube has definitely decided that I'm definitely the sort of person who might enjoy his hilarious witty British oh so jolly British sarcasm oh look he has a brown sofa just like Mum and isn't poundshop awful imagine actually buying all this stuff that I'm actually going out and buying imagine actually cooking and eating this awful food that I am cooking and eating can you imagine?

But I'm definitely not.


AsparagusTrevor

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on March 24, 2021, 05:38:21 PMBut the nadir is Linus fucking Tech Tips. AIDS-tier prick presents lazy, badly researched, poor methodologied, wilfully destructive tech reviews. There's a guy on his channel called Anthony who seems a great bunch of lads but the rest of them can jump into a fucking mincer. "I bought a $10,000 computer, wilfully destroyed every major component in it for clicks and now Apple won't fix it, so now I'm getting more clicks talking about how evil they are". Mincer.
Linus is the perfect example of all that is wrong with all this shit. Spoiled clickbait sellout cunt. About 7 ad breaks in a 15 minute video, and 10 minutes of those are plugging some VPN or web-design site. This post is brought to you by Nordspace.

Quote from: Fr.Bigley on March 24, 2021, 05:41:37 PMTechmoan is good though.
Techmoan is the perfect example of well researched and informative, plus funny when he needs to be, but not letting it get in the way, and posting videos to be informative rather than to gain clicks for sponsorships.

Rizla

Quote from: Utterdrivel on March 24, 2021, 05:57:17 PM
New beard suits him too.
I love him and sometimes wish I was him - I spent my teens and early 20s trawling car boot sales for old hi-fi gear which i'd attempt, usually unsuccessfully, to nurse back to life. I consider that the hours I've spent with a soldering iron in my hand to be golden. Helps to cultivate an appreciation of good industrial design.

seepage

Quote from: AsparagusTrevor on March 24, 2021, 05:57:48 PM
But the nadir is Linus fucking Tech Tips. AIDS-tier prick presents lazy, badly researched, poor methodologied, wilfully destructive tech reviews. There's a guy on his channel called Anthony who seems a great bunch of lads but the rest of them can jump into a fucking mincer. "I bought a $10,000 computer, wilfully destroyed every major component in it for clicks and now Apple won't fix it, so now I'm getting more clicks talking about how evil they are". Mincer.

I don't mind the good-looking one (Alex?). According to the site, Tech Tips has 29 staff!

I find one of the hardest to listen to is that long-haired Gamers Nexus bloke. Some kind of weird, slurred/clipped Australian-American accent?

H-O-W-L

Quote from: thenoise on March 24, 2021, 05:44:23 PM
ASHENS

Sorry to lump him in with the alt-right and genuinely horrible people nominated so far (who I definitely won't look up as it might upset MaH AlGoRiThM), but youtube has definitely decided that I'm definitely the sort of person who might enjoy his hilarious witty British oh so jolly British sarcasm oh look he has a brown sofa just like Mum and isn't poundshop awful imagine actually buying all this stuff that I'm actually going out and buying imagine actually cooking and eating this awful food that I am cooking and eating can you imagine?

But I'm definitely not.

To be fair some of Ashens' older tech reviews and discussions of older UK microcomputers are genuinely enlightening, and he's one of few people that does cover them. Even someone as in-depth as LGR doesn't cover weird shit like the myriad of terrible BBC Micro and Amiga games sold in corner shops for 55p. He has some merit in that regard IMO.

Poobum

I'm not a fan of Ashens review stuff, I think people like Octavius King do similar stuff in a far more interesting manner, but I do enjoy the deep dive presentations he's done at the Norwich Games Festival.

Kankurette

Quote from: Poobum on March 24, 2021, 03:29:31 PM
My main problem with the Nostalgia Critic, beyond him being as funny as the My Lai massacre, is him being an abusive misogynistic creep who intimidated Lindsay Ellis into doing sexual abuse "humour" after she complained about him writing that her character gets raped off screen.
Fucking hell, I knew there was a lot of unpleasantness behind the scenes at Channel Awesome but didn't know that.

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: Magnum Valentino on March 24, 2021, 05:08:05 PM
I also hate people using the word "remastered" in the same context. Has to be mastered for you to remaster it, ya cunt ye.

That's my bugbear on live music sharing sites in general.  Some cunt takes some 128kbps audio, spends a minute messing with EQ and reposts it in 320kbps labelled as 'remastered'.  That word has been so devalued in some places that it's now a totally useless term.

An tSaoi

"Uh this is actually the third time I recorded this video, because there was like a problem like with the lighting the first time round, and uh, let's see if it works this time, so uh, yeah, looks okay, and uh then I recorded it again, but there was a car alarm, so, uh, anyway, as I said already..."

Who gives a shit?

I think every vlog or review or how-to could be improved by removing the first third of the video.

Magnum Valentino

Same with almost every recipe or how-to article on the internet. Every cunt has got their GCSE English 'start with an introduction' figured out to a tee. Just get to the point. I clicked on your link ready, I don't need justification for why it exists.