Author Topic: Is the McVities Gold bar a minor confection? (Read 6094 times)

Bernice · « **on:** March 28, 2021, 05:09:36 PM »

I just bought and ate a pack of 7 McVities Gold biscuits. I'm quitting vaping and I had to have some sort of oral activity to go with my afternoon coffee (apart from drinking the coffee, I suppose).

It must be a retro concern, the Gold bar; there's something very pre-1971 about expecting kids to give a fuck about gold. Very Pussy Galore's Flying Circus, guffing ersatz knockout gas over the Fort Knox guard. It is also delicious. It diagnoses the major flaw of the Caramac – a sort of slick, lipid sheen one feels about the mouth and throat and stomach – and remedies it with a stout, crunchy biscuit. I've no idea how this works; it is pure alchemy.

In an effort to remove a bit of this mystery, I gave it a Google, only to discover that the Gold bar has no Wikipedia page. Am I going nuts? Surely the Gold bar is enough of a player to merit an entry. Alright, it's not a Mars bar or a Kit Kat. But surely it's at least the equal of a Club, or a Viscount, both of which have their own wiki pages. Am I wrong? Is the Gold bar a minor biscuit??

Fambo Number Mive · « **Reply #1 on:** March 28, 2021, 05:11:53 PM »

I think it is less famous than the Club, but I would put it on the same level of famous as a Viscount (I love Viscount and other minty biscuits so much). I think it deserves a Wikipedia page.

seepage · « **Reply #2 on:** March 28, 2021, 05:24:13 PM »

They're the No. 1 choice for that kind of thing in my house, and often "half-price". Popular with all the trades too. Recently seem to have been usurped by Aldi Seal bars @ 8 for 75p though.

Sebastian Cobb · « **Reply #3 on:** March 28, 2021, 05:40:50 PM »

Do you lot not get Tunnocks Wafers down south any more or something?

jamiefairlie · « **Reply #4 on:** March 28, 2021, 05:44:47 PM »

From memory, it was fairly late to the biscuit party, I'm thinking late 70s early 80s. Caramac (caramel and Mackintosh) was 1959 and existed long before the Gold Bar derivative. I love caramac and the gold bar too.

Butchers Blind · « **Reply #5 on:** March 28, 2021, 05:45:50 PM »

You need to try McVities Lemon Drizzle Digestives. Moorish as fuck.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain · « **Reply #6 on:** March 28, 2021, 05:50:52 PM »

Quote from: Butchers Blind on March 28, 2021, 05:45:50 PM

Moorish as fuck.

Shakespeare considers more subtlety in his characterisation of Othello.

Shoulders?-Stomach! · « **Reply #7 on:** March 28, 2021, 05:52:35 PM »

Quote

there's something very pre-1971 about expecting kids to give a fuck about gold

laughed

steve98 · « **Reply #8 on:** March 28, 2021, 05:53:32 PM »

7 caramel biscuits in one sitting is widely excessive; it gives me the boak just thinkin' about it. Get help.

Bernice · « **Reply #9 on:** March 28, 2021, 05:54:15 PM »

You don't have a fucking clue you worm, get out of my thread.

steve98 · « **Reply #10 on:** March 28, 2021, 06:13:36 PM »

Water off a mozzy's back mate. When you're ready to accept help you'll ask for it.

El Unicornio, mang · « **Reply #11 on:** March 28, 2021, 06:24:14 PM »

America was late to the gold confection party

https://www.ladbible.com/news/food-awesome-hersheys-unveils-new-gold-chocolate-bar-and-it-looks-delicious-20171103

I'm going to hazard a guess that it does not taste nice.

Bazooka · « **Reply #12 on:** March 28, 2021, 06:51:36 PM »

Quote from: steve98 on March 28, 2021, 05:53:32 PM

7 caramel biscuits in one sitting is widely excessive; it gives me the boak just thinkin' about it. Get help.

What if I were to tell you about the truly liberating experience of eating a whole Christmas cake in bed?

Buelligan · « **Reply #13 on:** March 28, 2021, 06:58:57 PM »

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on March 28, 2021, 05:40:50 PM

Do you lot not get Tunnocks Wafers down south any more or something?

No need for embarrassment or even a visit to the doctor, a good pharmacist will soon sort it out (if they're not out of their fucking mind on drugs, of course).

I've never seen one of these Gold biscuits btw, let alone, tasted one. Imagine.

steve98 · « **Reply #14 on:** March 28, 2021, 07:01:12 PM »

Quote from: Bazooka on March 28, 2021, 06:51:36 PM

What if I were to tell you about the truly liberating experience of eating a whole Christmas cake in bed?

Crumbs! Go on (No don't bother, cos there's no caramel in Christmas cake and the threads about caramel.)

Clatty McCutcheon · « **Reply #15 on:** March 29, 2021, 11:22:18 AM »

Quote from: Bernice on March 28, 2021, 05:09:36 PM

In an effort to remove a bit of this mystery, I gave it a Google, only to discover that the Gold bar has no Wikipedia page.

Pictured below is another McVities product that has suffered the same fate. Despite its name suggesting great reverence and antiquity, it seems to have been unceremoniously consigned to the biscuit scrap heap.

No other biscuit outfits seem to have taken up the gap in the market for a similar confection. I’ve tried licking various different types of monk, but it’s just not the same.

buzby · « **Reply #16 on:** March 29, 2021, 01:29:43 PM »

Quote from: jamiefairlie on March 28, 2021, 05:44:47 PM

From memory, it was fairly late to the biscuit party, I'm thinking late 70s early 80s. Caramac (caramel and Mackintosh) was 1959 and existed long before the Gold Bar derivative. I love caramac and the gold bar too.

Yes, McVities Gold was launched in the early 80s. Caramac was Rowntree Mackintosh (hence the name) who were later taken over by Nestle (Cadburys in Canada, Aus/NZ also make a copy of it called Caramilk). The reason why Gold are always cheap is because there's no cocoa content in the coating.

The Culture Bunker · « **Reply #17 on:** March 29, 2021, 01:36:47 PM »

Reading this thread has made me want to pop out to Aldi to buy a pack, but I worry my lack of self-control will see me non-stop munch my way through them in what my brother would call "an increasingly grotesque display".

TheBrownBottle · « **Reply #18 on:** March 29, 2021, 01:45:25 PM »

I paid AUD$8 for an imported pack of Gold biscuits the other week. Worth. Every. Cent.

Buelligan · « **Reply #19 on:** March 29, 2021, 01:47:03 PM »

Quote from: The Culture Bunker on March 29, 2021, 01:36:47 PM

Reading this thread has made me want to pop out to Aldi to buy a pack, but I worry my lack of self-control will see me non-stop munch my way through them in what my brother would call "an increasingly grotesque display".

Heheh. I go the opposite way I'm afraid. Someone gave me an Easter egg today. Quite a nice looking one in a box. I thanked them enthusiastically. Brought it home and popped it into the cupboard on top of the large box of chocolate cherries I was given last Christmas, a box of Italian Torroni Baci (at least two years old), a bar of salted dark chocolate (no one would be rude enough to ask its age), a whole load of some Swiss things from a Halloween once, some luxury chestnut shite (five years if it's a day) and a bag of Cadbury's Eclairs, given to me when I last had a visitor from Ireland (two or three years). They lie there, in the dark, waiting for the end of all things.

Bernice · « **Reply #20 on:** March 29, 2021, 03:28:51 PM »

Quote from: The Culture Bunker on March 29, 2021, 01:36:47 PM

Reading this thread has made me want to pop out to Aldi to buy a pack, but I worry my lack of self-control will see me non-stop munch my way through them in what my brother would call "an increasingly grotesque display".

I buy a pack of biscuits only rarely, and in the full confidence that I will eat all the bastards within an hour or two of popping the first. No guilt, no shame. One must learn to live with oneself.

The Culture Bunker · « **Reply #21 on:** March 29, 2021, 03:33:48 PM »

Quote from: Bernice on March 29, 2021, 03:28:51 PM

I buy a pack of biscuits only rarely, and in the full confidence that I will eat all the bastards within an hour or two of popping the first. No guilt, no shame. One must learn to live with oneself.

Yes, indeed. I'm like that with a lot of things - I'll gnash down a whole tube of Pringles in no time, safe in the knowledge that I'll be lamenting a sore stomach a few hours later and still tasting the fucking things the next day. Best thing about being married is being able to send the wife to the shops instead, as she'll just buy stuff I'm not interested in, like fruit and vegetables.

bgmnts · « **Reply #22 on:** March 29, 2021, 03:34:36 PM »

Best choc bars are:

Gold
Rocky
Kitkat chunky (the fuck is a kitkat crunchy i've gone mental)

Kankurette · « **Reply #23 on:** March 29, 2021, 03:38:22 PM »

I have a fondness for different KitKat flavours, like orange or peanut butter. Japan's got some interesting ones, like cinnamon. I draw the line at wasabi though.

I'm surprised that Gold bars are still going. Not a favourite, but I remember eating them as a child.

Thomas · « **Reply #24 on:** March 29, 2021, 03:49:59 PM »

The Gold Bar is a major confection in my life. To quote an investor just off the phone with Gordon Brown in 1999, I recently bought a pack of 18 Gold Bars for €1.50.

Bernice is right about the pop cultural weight of gold. It's gaudy - Goldfinger is no longer an opulent Bond villain but an Alan Partridge punchline - and McVitie's Gold Bars are surely the plated snack of choice at Scientology conventions, Tom Cruise minutely chipping the caramel coating away from the biscuit with his middle tooth. But I'm happy for consumers to generally overlook the Gold Bar as long as it keeps prices down, and for this reason I'm actually pleased that there's no Wikipedia article drawing attention to them.

That said, I would hate for consumers to overlook the Gold Bar to the degree that McVitie's phase them out altogether. Publicity around the Gold Bar must be carefully managed to maintain a general 'mid-low awareness'.

Buelligan · « **Reply #25 on:** March 29, 2021, 03:54:04 PM »

Quote from: Thomas on March 29, 2021, 03:49:59 PM

Tom Cruise minutely chipping the caramel coating away from the biscuit with his middle tooth.

Like an egg tooth.

Utterdrivel · « **Reply #26 on:** March 29, 2021, 03:54:42 PM »

Love it when you get an unexpectedly chunky bite of the...whatever it is. Caramac style chocolatey stuff.

Huxleys Babkins · « **Reply #27 on:** March 29, 2021, 03:56:13 PM »

Gold is way too sickly.

Give me a Trio any day.

Video Game Fan 2000 · « **Reply #28 on:** March 29, 2021, 03:58:09 PM »

Toothache in a wrapper.

The Culture Bunker · « **Reply #29 on:** March 29, 2021, 04:00:05 PM »

Trio gets kudos for those adverts back in the day, with the screaming lassie and her hippy mates rocking out on bongos and guitar.

edit: and it seems, at least at some point, John Peel doing voiceover duties.

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Author Topic: Is the McVities Gold bar a minor confection? (Read 6094 times)