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March 28, 2024, 11:20:37 AM

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Is the McVities Gold bar a minor confection?

Started by Bernice, March 28, 2021, 05:09:36 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Video Game Fan 2000

Trio, Tri-ee-oo, I want a trio and [your father is a homosexual]

Video Game Fan 2000

Excellent posting there, Video Game Fan 2000. Absolutely stellar stuff. Right at the top of a new page.

JesusAndYourBush

What has a hazelnut in every bite?

Spoiler alert
Squirrel shit!
[close]

pigamus

Blue Riband

Were those the polystyrene ones with chocolate substitute painted on

Those were an insult, I'd rather have had nothing

Replies From View


markburgle

Quote from: pigamus on April 08, 2021, 01:33:10 PM
Blue Riband

Were those the polystyrene ones with chocolate substitute painted on

Those were an insult, I'd rather have had nothing

If you want to talk disappointing, I got a pack of these McVities Hot Cross Bun flavour slices today:

https://appyshop.co.uk/store-245/bakery/cakes-2/mcvities-hot-cross-bun-slices-5pack-5000168026329

They were clearly just rebadged christmas ones. I had some nasty christmas-pudding flavoured chocolate digestives of theirs in December. They tasted exactly the same.

pigamus

Quote from: Replies From View on April 08, 2021, 04:52:23 PM
P-p-pick up an STD

Penguins are actually pretty rough, aren't they? Kind of gritty and sickly and cheap-tasting.

purlieu

Quote from: Replies From View on April 04, 2021, 06:30:14 PM
You wouldn't want to have unwrapped biscuits in that rusty tin mate, trust me.
Maybe if you'd stopped buying posh biscuits instead of Basics Custard Creams you'd have been able to afford a new biscuit tin.

steve98

Quote from: pigamus on April 08, 2021, 06:04:42 PM
Penguins are actually pretty rough, aren't they? Kind of gritty and sickly and cheap-tasting.

Yes.

The worst part about Penguins (apart from the taste) is the wrappers: they're all different colours. They're all different: red, green, blue etc so you naturally assume they're gonna be different flavours: strawberry, mint, blueberry etc (yum yum), but they're not. The fillings are all just that nasty, cheap, faux-choc shite.




Sebastian Cobb

Of course they're shit, someone saw the success of covering things in chocolate (digestives, hobnobs, kendal mint cake) and thought 'I could do that with a bourbon' without realising you're just adding cheap shitty chocolate to cheap shitty chocolate biscuits.

Video Game Fan 2000

They're pretty toothachy. Hated them.

Got a clear memory of going over to another kids house and his mum asking him if he wanted 'sweet' after we had dinner and she inverted a whole tub of penguins over the coffee table and walked off leaving him to grab about five or six and left the wrappers on the floor. Another night at the same place the kid announced "I'm tired I'm going to bed" and he just turned face down on the setee and slept there apparently all night, that was 'going to bed' in his house. I went home.


mothman

Yeah but you haven't lived until you've Penguined a cup of tea. Bite off two opposite corners, wrap the wrapper around, stick one end in your tea and then suck really hard. Once you get tea coming through, gobble the whole thing. Lovely.

Thomas

Quote from: mothman on April 08, 2021, 10:56:12 PM
wrap the wrapper around, stick one end in your tea and then suck really hard. Once you get tea coming through, gobble the whole thing. Lovely.

Whenever I do this, I roll over to find that my mum has left me a second cup of tea on the bedside table.

purlieu

The penguin tea thing works even better with strawberry milk. I used to do that a lot as a teenager.

Cold Meat Platter

I find it works better if you take a penguin, leave the wrapper on, get a cup of tea and then shove both all the way up your fucking arsehole.

steve98

Quote from: Thomas on April 08, 2021, 11:00:40 PM
Whenever I do this, I roll over to find that my mum has left me a cup of tea on the bedside table.

The other day someone posted that 50s pic of the (dead), old guy bummin' himself with huge torpedo-like things, and I noticed there was a nice cup of tea on his bedside cabinet. Fancy that, I thought, his poor Mum.


steve98

#196
I can't find that pic, but I found this one of an Italian wanker at Pompei, instead. Could that be a cup (or a bowl) of tea* near his right shoulder? Left by his Mama?

*Or whatever the ancient Naples-ees drank.



EDITED TO ASK. How many, even on this Forum, would be so focused that they'd continue wanking even as they're being roasted alive? Not many, I bet.

Cold Meat Platter

Quote from: steve98 on April 09, 2021, 04:26:45 AM
I can't find that pic, but I found this one of a Greek wanker at Pompei, instead. Could that be a cup (or a bowl) of tea* near his right shoulder? Left by his Mama?

*Or whatever the ancient Greeks drank.



EDITED TO ASK.

How many, even on this Forum, would be so focused that they'd continue wanking even as they're being roasted alive? .


Consignia

Quote from: steve98 on April 08, 2021, 09:19:04 PM
Yes.

The worst part about Penguins (apart from the taste) is the wrappers: they're all different colours. They're all different: red, green, blue etc so you naturally assume they're gonna be different flavours: strawberry, mint, blueberry etc (yum yum), but they're not. The fillings are all just that nasty, cheap, faux-choc shite.



They did used to different flavoured penguins, like mint, orange etc. and they'd be colour coded as you'd imagine. Obviously too much flavour for some people, so reverted back to any flavour you like as long as it's basic chocolate.

buttgammon

Quote from: Consignia on April 09, 2021, 08:56:42 AM
They did used to different flavoured penguins, like mint, orange etc. and they'd be colour coded as you'd imagine. Obviously too much flavour for some people, so reverted back to any flavour you like as long as it's basic chocolate.

Can't speak for any other flavours but they still do mint - I had one recently, having forgotten they existed for many years.

H-O-W-L

Quote from: Buelligan on March 28, 2021, 06:58:57 PM
No need for embarrassment or even a visit to the doctor, a good pharmacist will soon sort it out (if they're not out of their fucking mind on drugs, of course).

I've never seen one of these Gold biscuits btw, let alone, tasted one.  Imagine.


pigamus

Quote from: buttgammon on April 09, 2021, 08:57:30 AM
Can't speak for any other flavours but they still do mint - I had one recently, having forgotten they existed for many years.

Asda do knockoff mint ones called Puffins, or they did, and they're better than the proper ones

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: mothman on April 08, 2021, 10:56:12 PM
Yeah but you haven't lived until you've Penguined a cup of tea. Bite off two opposite corners, wrap the wrapper around, stick one end in your tea and then suck really hard. Once you get tea coming through, gobble the whole thing. Lovely.

First all that nonsense in the " terrible news" thread, and now THIS monstrosity. Well, that is fucking it. I'm leaving this fucked- up place FOREVER. Enjoy the last twitches of the knifed- up multi- millionaire  cunt, kids.

mothman

Quote from: steve98 on April 09, 2021, 04:26:45 AM
EDITED TO ASK. How many, even on this Forum, would be so focused that they'd continue wanking even as they're being roasted alive? Not many, I bet.

That just reminds me of the story - where was it from? - about the plane that was about to crash, so everyone starts wanking furiously. But then the pilot recovers control and everyone stops and pretends nothing happened.

Quote from: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on April 09, 2021, 09:28:25 AM
First all that nonsense in the " terrible news" thread, and now THIS monstrosity. Well, that is fucking it. I'm leaving this fucked- up place FOREVER. Enjoy the last twitches of the knifed- up multi- millionaire  cunt, kids.

Yeah, right. If Jodie did it you'd literally explode with lust.

steve98

Quote from: pigamus on April 09, 2021, 09:16:30 AM
Asda do knockoff mint ones called Puffins, or they did, and they're better than the proper ones

Ah yes "Puffins", that's what the knock-off one's are called (I misremembered them as "kakapos").


Gurke and Hare

Quote from: buttgammon on April 09, 2021, 08:57:30 AM
Can't speak for any other flavours but they still do mint - I had one recently, having forgotten they existed for many years.

They still do orange too. Honestly, this thread's like a boomer facebook group going "Do you remember Curly Wurlies?"

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: Gurke and Hare on April 09, 2021, 12:24:01 PM
They still do orange too. Honestly, this thread's like a boomer facebook group going "Do you remember Curly Wurlies?"

I remember there were several different sized Curly Wurly's.  The biggest was about 2 feet long.
Or maybe it just seemed bigger because I was a kid.

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: mothman on April 08, 2021, 10:56:12 PM
Yeah but you haven't lived until you've Penguined a cup of tea. Bite off two opposite corners, wrap the wrapper around, stick one end in your tea and then suck really hard. Once you get tea coming through, gobble the whole thing. Lovely.

I did this this evening!  (I didn't wrap the wrapper around, just held it in my hand.)  I almost made the mistake of trying to take a bite of the tead-up penguin before realising how soft and crumbly it was becoming and managed to shove the whole thing in my gob just moments before it'd have fallen to bits and landed back in the cup of tea.  It was an awesome chocolate explosion in the mouth.  I fully recommend it!

mothman

Quote from: JesusAndYourBush on April 13, 2021, 12:18:42 AM
I did this this evening!  (I didn't wrap the wrapper around, just held it in my hand.)  I almost made the mistake of trying to take a bite of the tead-up penguin before realising how soft and crumbly it was becoming and managed to shove the whole thing in my gob just moments before it'd have fallen to bits and landed back in the cup of tea.  It was an awesome chocolate explosion in the mouth.  I fully recommend it!



Next, dogging.

Kankurette

Quote from: steve98 on April 09, 2021, 04:26:45 AM
I can't find that pic, but I found this one of an Italian wanker at Pompei, instead. Could that be a cup (or a bowl) of tea* near his right shoulder? Left by his Mama?

*Or whatever the ancient Naples-ees drank.



EDITED TO ASK. How many, even on this Forum, would be so focused that they'd continue wanking even as they're being roasted alive? Not many, I bet.
At least he died doing what he loved.
Quote from: mothman on April 08, 2021, 10:56:12 PM
Yeah but you haven't lived until you've Penguined a cup of tea. Bite off two opposite corners, wrap the wrapper around, stick one end in your tea and then suck really hard. Once you get tea coming through, gobble the whole thing. Lovely.
That's like that thing Aussies do with Tim Tams, which are Aussie Penguins. Using it like a chocolatey biscuity straw.