"Your electrical tape is hairy!"

[Jemble Fred]

Hm.. You know that pomegranate juice is a red liquid, don't you? Looks just like Cranberry Juice? And tastes like pomegranates? I bought some just last week. I think your Turkish friend was lying.

[TotalNightmare]

Well it was either that or some kinda Turkish Date Rape Drug that didnt work as well as the man had hoped!

Here's to you... vomiting!

CHEERS!

[ninestonecreature]

Fuck. Christ knows what it was then...wasn't quite thinking straight at the time.

[TotalNightmare]

Fuck. Christ knows what it was then...wasn't quite thinking straight at the time.

As long as no one tickled yur balls as you bent over, heaving your guts out, i think you can say you just happened to drink something that 'disagreed' with you...

...you see, ive lowered the tone again.

[ninestonecreature]

Not so much tickling as...cupping. Nah, just kidding.

[TotalNightmare]

Not so much tickling as...cupping. Nah, just kidding.

yes, because thats an excuse...

"I was just cupping your balls as you honked your guts out, like when you hold a lady's hair out of her face as she barks green sounds.... officer!"

...and then i got off the bus.

[Annie_Hall]

TN... how do you always manage to lower the tone?

And you can bless me all you want, I will never forgive you for calling me a square...so there hurrrruuuumph!

[Morrisfan82]

"Somebody's stealing my wanker!"

[Pretty.Polly]

well ninestonecreature that's a loverly story...

thanks for sharing ;o)

and TN, don't even get me started,

What was this thread about, again?  anyone?

[TotalNightmare]

TN... how do you always manage to lower the tone?

And you can bless me all you want, I will never forgive you for calling me a square...so there hurrrruuuumph!

pppftt, fricking square!

[TotalNightmare]

well ninestonecreature that's a loverly story...

thanks for sharing ;o)

and TN, don't even get me started,

What was this thread about, again?  anyone?

Ive upset the ladies..

GOAL!

(i am a gentleman really, apologese all round for my base corruption of this fine thread)

[Pretty.Polly]

"Somebody's stealing my wanker!"

I know the feeling, I've had my wanker stolen and it's very distressing.

[SetToStun]

'What's the best way to eat a banana?  I mean the BEST way?  I'm trying to settle a bet.'

This is, actually, a curiously interesting question.  It was first brought to my attention when my ex-employers took on a lady in her mid-20s who'd immigrated from mainland China only a few years previously.

She - along with allegedly the rest of the Chinese - always ate bananas "upside down" (i.e. using the stalk as a handle, and peeling it downwards from what we would call the base).  She thought her way was the most logical, and found it puzzling and amusing that us crazy British people do it the way we do it.

She does have a point.  (Especially as that's the way they grow in the wild - a fact that seems to have escaped some marketing idiot at Morrisons.)

I'd try it myself sometime, if it weren't for the fact that, although I love them, bananas give me terrible indigestion.

A guy in my office from the Phillipines (sp?) does the same - he claims that the "wrong" end is the sweetest bit so he eats that first as otherwise, by the time he gets to it, his mouth will be lined with bananary (probably made up word - thank you Mr. Pratchett) gunk and he would miss out on the sugary delights of the "flower end".

This may be the case, or he may just be weird. I don't really like bananas so I have no intention of ever finding out.

[9]

"OH NO! I'VE GOT PISS ON MY WHEELS!!!!!!!!!!"

[Cerys]

What was this thread about, again?  anyone?

... a quote from SweetRosalyn, just a few minutes ago, having discovered our roll of insulation tape, which had picked up not a few tufts of cat hair (it was cat hair, okay? That's my story and I'm sticking to it). This prompted this thread, in which to put things said - possibly by your friends - which are just plain silly out of context. Or even in context. Who can say?

Although pomegranates are good too.

[Robot Devil]

My nan got banned from Bescot Stadium for throwing a pomegranate at a referee.

Anyway, my contribution to this thread is "Stop that effect", which my Politics teacher said when the blinds were being blown around in the classroom, and which me and my friends found an amusingy strange word choice.

[chand]

"I don't go in for those duffel shenanigans"

[Cardinal Tit Storm]

...

[Cerys]

Sounds like my dad's favourite mild insult - 'like a fart in a bottle'.

Two more just a few hours ago, at SweetRosalyn's housewarming bash:

You should try some of Lil's velcro things - they're great.

And

My nipples shouldn't do that!

[Morrisfan82]

'Remind me to be careful when dining on racoon nob.'

My response to a friend's MSN claim that racoons have bones in their penises.

[Captain Crunch]

"I was like a fart in a trance"

© my mum, 2005. Don't know what it means or where she got it from, but I laughed a lot.

"..been running round like a startled fart all day" - my dear old grandmother.

[Lady Beaner]

'Up at the crack of a sparrow fart.'  

Thats another one... and no, I still have no idea!

[SetToStun]

'Up at the crack of a sparrow fart.'  

Thats another one... and no, I still have no idea!

Means dawn - from the (probably just male) habit of stretching and farting upon waking. Sparrows (or birds in general, really) being dawn risers and all that.

[Labian Quest]

I remember my nephew coming round to visit us one time (he was about 5 at the time) and that 'Walking in the air' song coming on the radio and him singing 'I'm floating in a fart' and then going into convulsions of laughter at his own joke.Children say the funniest things, etc.

[Lady Beaner]

I am really starting to worry about my other half then.  Last night eh nearly turned purple laughing at his own version of 'Show Me the Way to Amirillo' with 'Show Me the Way to Ram a Dildo'.

Quite quite concerned.

[Ambient Sheep]

You should try some of Lil's velcro things - they're great.

And

My nipples shouldn't do that!

OK...OK...I can't resist any longer...explanations please... :-)

[Cerys]

I wish I could explain, but both of those quotes were all I heard of the relevant conversations.  I love/hate it when that happens.

[Still Not George]

I don't remember the first, but I do remember the second, and it would be wrong of me to describe the situation on a public noticeboard... Sorry!

Suffice to say that whatever you thought it was about, you probably weren't far from the mark.

[Cerys]

Was that one in association with the Fairy Power Brush?

[chand]

"Puritans! Freaky puritans!"