"Your electrical tape is hairy!"

[dan dirty ape]

An ex flatmate fell asleep on the sofa one evening and mumbled "leathery bog man", which still strikes me as a bizarre thing to say out loud in your sleep. Mind you, she talks enough shit when she's awake.

[dan dirty ape]

'Up at the crack of a sparrow fart.'  

Thats another one... and no, I still have no idea!

"You'd get more meat on a sparrow's kneecap!"

[Cerys]

An ex flatmate fell asleep on the sofa one evening and mumbled "leathery bog man", which still strikes me as a bizarre thing to say out loud in your sleep. Mind you, she talks enough shit when she's awake.

Maybe she was talking about one of the peat bog bodies, which, when found, resembled brown leather.

[dan dirty ape]

Jesus Christ, it's a leathery bog man! Cheers, Cerys!

[Cerys]

Glad to be of service!

[Hairy Chin]

Jesus Christ, it's a leathery bog man!

That gets my nod in this thread.

[Still Not George]

"Tentacles! On Fire!"

[Morrisfan82]

Bump... discussing a scary-looking woman yesterday:

"She looks like Penelope Keith being sucked through time."

[Cerys]

That's given me my first laugh out loud of the day - thankyou!

[Captain Crunch]

Reminded me of:

"It looks like someone threw a bucket of Tipp-Ex over Queen Latifa"

[trotsky assortment]

Friends of mine are always taking things I say out of context and then falling about in hysterics until I end up feeling really stupid.  

On holiday a few years back in Vegas, I crawled out of bed at about 4am and woke my mates flushing the toilet.  They looked at me with complete disgust when they saw me at that obscure hour, bleary eyed and having a smoke.  My response - 'Whassup, never seen a bloke 'ave a fag in his pants before' is now stuff of legend.
It sounded harmless enough when I said it.

That's beaten only by the time I got stroppy and when my speech got muddled, I ended up calling a mate a chunt.  It stuck and it's a word which we still use.

[Cerys]

The images I now have squelching around in my brain defy description.

[Frinky]

It sounded harmless enough when I said it.

I still get mocked for "Big cocks are a pain in the arse."

Oh, for the days when bumsex wasn't stored in the Really Obvious Pun part of my brain.

[trotsky assortment]

The images I now have squelching around in my brain defy description.

Never mind, love - feel free to call me a chunt.  ;)

[petula dusty]

Me and the kids were trying to persuade Mr D to go and get a KFC for us. It was about 6 pm and his excuse for not going was:

'It's too late to be faffing about with chicken.'

A message for all mankind there.

Edit: Poo, now there are two identical things threads next to each other.

[smoker]

"i'm sure i can smell my pussy"

[Jimmy]

"You smell like a boat?"

"It wasn't an aero when it came out, just a bit of chocolate and some green dust"

[Mr. Analytical]

"... with all the equipment"
" If you touch my suitcase, I'll knife you to death"
" OH! what a beautiful object! *belch*"
" I've got some medicine for you, I've just been to have a shit"

[sproggy]

"There's nowt wrong with these..." *prods bread baps with finger*  <farts>


"Jesus.. the roads melting"